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Your “We Should All Be So Lucky” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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NFL Nuggets:

  • Andrew Luck updates:
    • The Colts are letting him keep his bonus money from the last contract signing.
      • It amounts to $16.8 million, since he had three years left on the five-year extension he signed in 2016.
    • There are rumours that Jim Irsay has known for a (little) while that Luck might be calling it quits.
      • And Frank Reich might have known since mid-August, when he said,
        • “By the end of the third preseason game, you have to know something. You have to be able to make a call and move from there in whether we’re full speed with Andrew after that third preseason game or if at that point we’re going with Jacoby. We’ll make that decision with that when the time comes.”
    • Peter King has opinions. So does Dreamboat.
    • Jacoby Brissett has “been on a rollercoaster of emotions”.

  • The keyboard warriors are still out in full force, but I have found the perfect distillation of that sentiment:

  • Non-surprise retirement news:
    • Patrick Chung has pleaded “Not Guilty” to the cocaine charge against him.
      • His next court appearance is scheduled for November 8th.
      • No word on any pre-emptive NFL sanction against him.
    • Antonio Brown lost the second grievance about his helmet.
    • New CBA discussions have centred on expanding the playoffs, which could result in shortening the preseason.
      • The current agreement expires in 2020, so they aren’t expecting to finalize the deal before season’s start.

Finally, in made-up things that cause smiles, it’s International Dog Day.

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Cardinals at Brewers – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Pirates at Phillies – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Yankees at Mariners – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Dodgers at Padres – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • U.S. Open Tennis:
    • First Round – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Insofar as Twitter can do anything good, let’s all talk dogs tonight.

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Brick Meathook

Only see this in 70mm in a huge theater with a big screen.

But see this, nonetheless, on the biggest screen you can find and make sure all the children are also watching.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrYB8hgyq4s

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ALXMAC

This looks like “The Adjustment Bureau” but good.

1
yeah right

The real people who are suffering right now?

The poor bastards that want a three piece, red beans and rice and a biscuit from Popeyes.

3
Beerguyrob

The chicken sandwich is pretty good.

2
Brick Meathook

I went to the El Segundo Ralphs on Sunday and bought a pork tenderloin, milk & eggs, panko crumbs, and chunked (not powdered) garlic and onion, plus some fresh baked kaiser rolls.

I’m going to make a fine soup with these humble ingredients.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Where the fuck is everybody?

1
Unsurprised

Enjoying the end of summer before school starts next week?

1
Mr. Ayo

We’re all hunting rehab chicks trying to find god in our pants.

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Brick Meathook

I’m doing taxes and waiting for someone to say something.

1
Mr. Ayo

Hey, ask your guy if it’s okay to not file for 8 straight years. Asking for a friend of course.

2
Brick Meathook

You’re only responsible for SEVEN (7) years back! Plus debts are forgiven after seven years, and that’s the maximum length of a legal contract. It’s a rule from Leviticus in the Old Testament of the Bible. Very old school Hebrew, but used to this day.

In next week’s episode, the Hebrews face the Egyptians in a sea battle you won’t want to miss. Fred MacMurray guest stars. 8:00 PM Channel 6

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Beerguyrob

Selling beer at the stadium.

4
Brick Meathook

BFC and Bgr: they both possess a work ethic, that’s for sure.

2
Beerguyrob

Moar like I ain’t allergic to cash money.

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Brick Meathook

According to my accountant, I’m allergic to all forms of money.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Even the bills covered in cocaine?

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Brick Meathook

Where the fuck are you?

2
Beerguyrob

Those are delicious.

1
Don T

like this
comment image

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Unsurprised

I lugged tables and chairs up and down and around this house on a hill all day yesterday and now my arms hurt like I worked out, but now I want to go back to lifting weights and working out at the gym because it reminds me of when I was less of a piece of shit.

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Unsurprised

People dunking on Dan Dakich is pretty good. What a worthless, petty cunt.

1
Unsurprised

My favorite

great point, lets make it easier for steel workers, cops and teachers to take breaks and recharge when they get tired. Good looking out for american workers.

— Matt Brown (@MattSBN) August 25, 2019

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WCS

Finally got a chance to yell at Doug Gottlieb for his absolutely asinine Andrew Luck TAEK. He claims Luck is a lazy Millennial by taking all the Clots money, and then retiring because of injury. He then doubled-down on that TAEK by saying it’s an endemic situation “with this generation.” Mind you, this guy was convicted of stealing his roommates credit cards, and had to transfer to Oklahoma State. In his “recap” video, he even mentions that, saying, “it was a different time.”

So glad I switched to satellite radio, and just use Twitter for news.

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Brick Meathook

Dang WCS, your reaction is so Millennial.

ALSO: You read Twitter for “news” ? ?

2
WCS

You sonofabitch. I’m going to be laughing at this for days. Unlike Doug Gottlieb. Or, Andrew Luck, because he physically cannot laugh anymore.

6
Unsurprised

Fuck fans. Fans are the worst.

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Unsurprised

Fuck fans. Fans are the worst.

People with terrible Andrew Luck takes are the worst.

HOWEVER, there is value in them shooting off their mouths/typing away like keyboard tier one operators.

This has let people show their asses over something that has huge implications about health and work, and people who have bad Andrew Luck takes are shitty people over those same issues when it comes to everyone else who doesn’t have $100MM in the bank. There’s also a significant chance that he’ll never be 100% again, but at least he has that to lessen the blow for him and his family. But the people entitled to someone’s suffering for their entertainment without considering that person’s humanity is just as likely to treat everyone else that way, the kind of person to shit on retail employees, to demand subordinates to work themselves to death for them, to expect the entire world to cater to them without regard to the humanity of the millions and billions of people whose lives and work made these HOT TAEK artists’ lives possible because none of us will have anything remotely like our current lifestyles if it weren’t for how interconnected and dependent we are on everyone else in the world to make what we consume, to maintain and fix what we have, to maintain order in the universe.

The people who are so entitled and selfish and utterly lacking in empathy towards someone who’s been nearly crippled six times – and we’ve seen those causes and effects – then they aren’t going to have empathy to anyone else, especially those they genuinely see as beneath them.

2
Dolph Ucker

Word. This is a most beautiful and cogent summary and the best explanation yet for why we don’t deserve nice things.
On a related note, I am less excited about footbaw with every new season, and stories like this only make it worse.
I think that footbaw will eventually be seen as something similar to lead paint, cigarettes and lawn darts: we only do it because we don’t know what we don’t know, then convince ourselves we do, only to pass the blame to someone else when we find out we were wrong. Again.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. I need to hibernate.

2
Mr. Ayo

Well, we’ll see you in March I guess.

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not if I can help it.

2
Unsurprised

Luckily, football season is starting so you’ll have more time for three-hour long naps.

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Unsurprised

.

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Unsurprised

comment image

Los Angeles sun above a railroad near the Salton Sea. Charles O’Rear/Documerica

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Brick Meathook

That’s a great photo. I know where that is, and that’s a surreal place.

2
Brick Meathook

Slab City and a crazy cool Christian shrine are just north of these tracks (to the left). Oh they’re still unspoilt because nobody in their right mind would go there. I did, and so should you.

2
Brick Meathook

. . . just *east* of these tracks . . .

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

The older I get, the worse my OCD gets.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mQea59u5hA

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Brick Meathook

So I’m doing my corporate taxes for FY 2018 with my accountant via email and telephone and I swear it’s like sticking my head in a fucking oven.

Plus the accountant keeps changing my legitimate business expenses into “loan to shareholder” because my graft and corruption apparently exceeded my retained earnings and basis, whatever the fuck that means.

When I buy drugs and booze and hookers and so forth it’s because it’s business related. Why is that so hard to understand?

10
herodotus450

How much depreciation are you allowed to declare on those hookers?

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Brick Meathook

ACTUAL CONVERSATION I HAD TODAY:

ME: What does “basis” even mean?
CPA: That’s how much skin you have in the game.
ME: Oh, I see. What the hell does that mean?

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herodotus450

CPA: Well that’s your basis, duh.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You buy hookers?

4
Brick Meathook

you break ’em you buy ’em

6
theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe

1
herodotus450

“Serena dominates Sharapova at US Open”
Oh, someone found my bdsm fan fic.

14
ArmedandHammered

Only if Sharapova had a ball gag in, her grunting was fucking annoying as usual.

2
Sharkbait

Agreed. Those are awesome dogs you’ve got.

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Riga and Lambeau want to come live with me.
YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE ROB!!!!!!!!!!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

File this under “It can always be worse”.

Today, I was helping one of my nieces with moving and such. On the way home, I called Mom and asked if she’d like for me to stop at one of our favourite seafood joints so she wouldn’t feel the need to cook. She said yes.

So while I’m sitting and waiting for my order, I struck up a conversation with another customer who was also waiting.

She was a very friendly and engaging woman. But it turns out she and her husband were driving up from Georgia to Richmond to try to force their daughter into rehab. She’s hooked on pills and…they think…prostituting.

I don’t have any problems compared to that.

3
Dunstan

But you have started text messaging the daughter.

18
theeWeeBabySeamus

OH COME ON!!!!!

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Looking forward to reading how this one ends in a few weeks

5
theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, I’m really disturbed by the fact that Dunstan’s comment has gotten 10 likes so far.
comment image

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Unsurprised

Only because we can like it once each

4
ballsofsteelandfury

12

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theeWeeBabySeamus

13. I had to +1 it out of general principle.

2
Mr. Ayo

This isn’t a denial. Did you also get the mom’s number?

3
theeWeeBabySeamus

OH COME ON!!!!!!
Also no….i came home and ate teh hell outta some shrimp and clams.

3
Unsurprised

So we’re not doing “Phrasing” anymore?

6
theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re all terrible people.
And besides, I don’t have enough disposable cash to buy a hooker and meth on the same night.

2
Unsurprised

You don’t have to pay the dead ones.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Those are such beautiful dogs.

2
herodotus450

International Dog Day, and here I am thinking that Trump was trying to get tough with China.

2
Sharkbait

Shit. This isn’t good at all.

https://twitter.com/jeffphowe/status/1166131207052152832?s=19

0
blaxabbath

Maybe he needs more White House Big Macs?

0
rockingdog

found a funny:
Werner Herzog calling Max Von Sydow to ask if he should do Star Wars and Max saying “death awaits us all, what is one dalliance with perversion” and Werner politely saying goodbye and asking his Alexa to play the Moonlight Sonata while his cat sheds a single tear

6
rockingdog

those look like 2 rocking dogs!

8
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You should listen to this rockindog guy, he knows rockin’ dogs.

2
SonOfSpam

That’s some Very Good Boys. (The dogs…no humans meet that criterion.)

2
Unsurprised

Check out the Luck jokes in the Fat Humps Clots preview.

2
Unsurprised

Also, I went ahead and assumed this will make the cut for this week’s Quotables.

comment image

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ballsofsteelandfury

Good call.

0
blaxabbath

I think there MAY be an OJ gif every week in Q’s this year.

3
Unsurprised

comment image

NEW YORK—Conceding that many facets of the game still felt completely foreign to him, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell admitted Monday that his job would probably be a lot easier if he actually watched football. “Honestly, it’s really tough to get a handle on what’s a good rule change because I’m really not that big a fan—this commissioner gig is just sort of a paycheck for me,” said Goodell, adding that he couldn’t even name any teams besides the Cowboys, the one in Los Angeles that’s pretty good, and the Longhorns. “I hate having to sit through the games and pretend like I care or even understand what’s going on down there. I mean, I’m only here because my friend hooked me up. It would probably help if I knew some of the players’ names, or at least what a ‘false start’ is. It’s not too hard though, usually I just do whatever the owners say and keep my head down.” Goodell also confessed that he once had to look up the word “concussion” on his phone during a meeting so as not to look completely out of touch.

5
ballsofsteelandfury

Awesome doggies!!

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