JV NFL Sabado Open Thread

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

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Alas, no Lesser Footy (outside the minor league/GAMBLOR realm).  Doggone international breaks make my arse chafe.  But we have a reasonably decent September slate to keep one sane-ish.

Cincinnati (+16) at Theeeee Ohio State (Noon, ABC)

As much as we would all like to see JV WKRP do a thing…I wouldn’t bet on this being competitive after Q1.  But Redshirt will no doubt keep us updated.

Syracuse (+2) at Maryland (Noon, ESPN)

The Orange might be the 2nd best side in the ACC.  Though that might be damning with faint praise, I still think they’re better than B1G cannon fooder like the Turtles.

West By God Virginia (+13.5) at Missouri (Noon, ESPN2)

Another spread I don’t get.  Yes, Fuckers du Cousins looked pretty anemic Week 1, but they didn’t lose to fucking Wyoming (though my GAMBLOR balance appreciated it).  Also, this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoWc6WRHKEE

Texas A&M (+17.5) at Clemson (3:30, ABC)

Yes, sadly, Son de Clem is indeed that good.  Even I can’t talk myself into betting Bonfire Cult here.  Depressing.

Nebraska (-4) at Colorado (3:30, Fox)

Ah, the memories of the old Bill McCartney “crips v. bloods” game.  Go watch that 30 FOAR 30 if ya haven’t already.

Illinois (-20.5) at UConn (3:30, CBSSN)

No respect for the Fightin’ Horatios, I tells ya!!

San Diego State (+7.5) at UCLA (4:15, PAC-12)

Chip Kelly is failing so hard in Westwood, it’s hard not to masturbate to it.  Aztecs are always a tough out.

BYU (+3.5) at Tennessee (7:00, ESPN)

Prior to Week 1, this looked like a pretty good matchup.  Now, Team Big Love gets to feel the vengeance of a Vols squadron that’s mighty embarrassed.  Seriously, Georgia Fucking State??

LSU (-6.5) at Texas (7:30, ABC)

Look, I hate Steer Fuckers South as much as anyone.  But last weekend showed us that no non-Alabama SEC PAWWWWLLLLL side out to be laying points on the road to a legitimate opponent.

Arkansas (+6.5) at Ole Miss (7:30, SECN)

I will end up watching lots of Pig Sooey/Johnny Reb.  FOAR REASONS (see banner pic).

Cal (+13.5) at Washington (10:30, FS1)

Nap strategically, they’s two interesting tweaker matchups.  The Golden Shower Bears are always a weird team, and UW is replacing lots of talent.  At home, they should still pull it out (PHRASING!).

Stanford (line pending) at Southern Cal (10:30, ESPN)

This was more intriguing before Troi Boiz’ QB done had his leg tore off, but it’s highly likely they have another dude MOAR capable than whatever shitmonkey the Trees trot out.  Plus, quality pervert times.

 

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Unsurprisedherodotus450Mr. AyoDunstanlitre_cola Recent comment authors
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herodotus450
herodotus450

non-Serena wins, holds off Serena’s furious second set comeback.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Non-Serena’s mom is hot.

herodotus450
herodotus450

(Casually changes channel back)

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Let’s go Bianca!!

Dunstan
Dunstan

+24 cans of Moosehead

herodotus450
herodotus450

I’m pivoting from Serena quitting to Canada bashing! USA! USA!

Dunstan
Dunstan

Dear America,

We’re very very sorry for winning.

Love Canada

herodotus450
herodotus450

Serena mounting a comeback not seen since Kim Cardashian.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Serena: (Quits halfway through the first set, plays a total of 16 games)
Men’s Final: (Guaranteed minimum of 18 games)
Also Serena: “Women should get paid the same as men because we’re equal.”

Dunstan
Dunstan

I don’t buy that argument. We don’t pay athletes based on how much time they spend on the court/field or in training, or else marathoners and decathletes would make millions and baseball closers would get peanuts.

It’s a business, and the women tend to draw roughly the same ratings and ticket sales as the men. I’m fine with them getting equal money.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Do we know that the ratings and everything are about equal? I suppose you don’t really know until after the match, and can only adjust things going forward. But I do think if you really want to make a difference, the only real way to do it is, as the most popular player, to boycott the tournament until they pay more. Otherwise what are you doing?

Dunstan
Dunstan

Well, it varies. In the 2000s, the women’s finals were getting better ratings than the men. I think that’s flipped back in recent years, at least in finals that involved one Big 3 male against another. It’s now dependent enough on the players involved that I’m fine with calling it even, and the governing bodies seem content with it, too.

herodotus450
herodotus450

OK and then she wins two game in a row…

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

There is equal pay at the US Open though.

Dunstan
Dunstan

All the Slams have since 2007

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

comment image

herodotus450
herodotus450

Hmm yes interesting, they are apparently equal.
https://www.totalsportek.com/tennis/us-open-prize-money/
So then what is everyone complaining about? Wimbledon? French Open? Don’t they have enough Marshall Plan money left?

Dunstan
Dunstan

Uh, you’re the one who brought it up as something Serena was supposedly complaining about, so you tell me.

The non-Slams don’t all pay equal money, but that’s a little trickier, as many of them don’t run the men’s and women’s events at the same time (or at all).

herodotus450
herodotus450

I thought I heard something about someone complaining about it relatively recently, within the last year. Maybe not Serena.

Fronkenshteen

Antonio Brown to New England. Maybe Eli has a third miracle in him?

yeah right

Or someone can coax Bernard Pollard out of retirement.

Dunstan
Dunstan

FINISH HER, BIANCA!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah yes, a women’s tennis final between a black woman and a Canadian is the perfect place to advertise a Dodge Ram.

litre_cola

RAMMITTT?

litre_cola

I knew it. I made this call at 9:39 DFO time. Fucking world we live in man.

https://doorfliesopen.com/2019/09/07/jv-nfl-sabado-open-thread/comment-page-1/#comment-684431

herodotus450
herodotus450

But, will he ever play a game for the pats?

blaxabbath

So much parity! Anything can happen!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Why does Serena look tired or sad or hungover or something every time I watch her?

litre_cola

She is a mom now so yes?

herodotus450
herodotus450

I remember the good ol days when the only sprots controversy was whether the Serena v. Venus matches were fixed.

ballsofsteelandfury

Everyone is saying that AB has mental issues.

Has anyone considered that he got exactly what he wanted?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s silly; he’s getting paid SO much less money this way.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

15.6 with OAK, vs 15 with NE. And he’s a free agent next year.

ballsofsteelandfury

Exactly. Plus, he’s going to win a Super Bowl, which will drive his price up.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Gordon and AB. JFC.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, what? I saw 9 mil.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

9 guaranteed at signing. So you may end up being right.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Unless… well, you know.

blaxabbath

He’s gonna get Smouletted his first night in NE.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Maybe they’ll run the same scheme they use to pay TB

herodotus450
herodotus450

Well it was a fun quarter of Clemzon-Texas AM, but it’s over no.w

Dunstan
Dunstan

Hmm. Serena can’t blame the chair umpire this year. (She couldn’t really last year, but she tried.)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Steelers get: 3rd and 5th round picks of a team that will probably pick in the top 10.

Patriots get: All-Pro receiver (albeit with MAJOR issues) at a pretty cheap price.

Raiders get: a handful of dead bugs to eat.

EVERYBODY WINS!

blaxabbath

Mike Mayock wants ALL the dead bugs!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I got a rock

herodotus450
herodotus450

Clemson crowd booing an injured Texas AM player not once, but twice.

blaxabbath

JV fandom is the best fandom

Senor Weaselo

Well at least JD Martinez sucks at the outfield.

The Maestro

HAIL BLEERGH THE PATRIOTS GOT ANTONIO BROWN. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I AM INSUFFERABLE

blaxabbath

And I’m over her fighting with Cuntlet…..

Col. Duke LaCross
Senor Weaselo

No god, et cetera.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Holy shit, it happened. AB to the Pats.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Andreescu doing a pretty good job of holding onto the break she got in the first game of the set.

Dunstan
Dunstan

Yep. She’s not intimidated by Serena or the crowd.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Dabo should pray for a win now.

Spur
Spur

Nebraska QB got lit up

litre_cola

Nebraska just threw for a TD? Truly is the darkest timeline.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is good twitter.

Spur
Spur

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WCS

Well hello miss.

scotchnaut

Shaq: [wonders how her ass taste]

WCS

I’m starting to think it might not be a banner season in Morganhole…

Senor Weaselo

What about a Big XII-II Participant banner?

Spur
Spur

Colorado vs Nebraska, feels retro

Redshirt

Oh, well. At least I can take solace in the fact that Michigan has evolved to the point that defeating the Army Black Knights is considered a celebration-worthy moment for the team and their fans.

Spur
Spur

I like TAMU chance here

Spur
Spur

They not going to review that fumble?

Spur
Spur

nevermind it was out

Spur
Spur

you aint taking me to Nebraska. NO SIR

Redshirt

If this Army-Michigan game is still going on past 4:00, I’m going to have to call my doctor.

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

Still probably have a semi though, right?

herodotus450
herodotus450

The 2019 Charbonnet? Not the finest vintage.

Redshirt

Highly Paid ABC Football Commentator: “Michigan still has a chance to win the Big 10. They just have to get past Army.”

Spur
Spur

comment image

Spur
Spur

USA USA USA

SonOfSpam

Found the South Alabama fan.

SonOfSpam

GO ARMY! BEAT NAVYish colored jersey guys

herodotus450
herodotus450

Army just needs to fall back on their superior intelligence, superior firepower, and that’s all she wrote.

Spur
Spur

We want the ball and we’re gonna derp!