Your “Twice in a Row Would be Nice” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

There were some fool-adjacent blowhards last week (me) that yakked from their gum disease-riddled mouths to the top of their phlegm-soaked lungs that last week’s game was going to be a stinker. So now I think we might be in line for another better than average tilt. Hey!, maybe I’ll type about it below! First though we just must make mention of newsy football stuff.

-In I Told You So News, Saquon isn’t human and will be back well before the 6-8 week outlook. Reports are sort of a good/bad thingy though. He’s running around the practice field already but he’s also cutting. You don’t like to see that kind of self-harming-he does enough of that just playing football. Seems a bit much.

-We’ve seen this before-“The Patriots and Nugent Reach an Agreement”. Both circumstances involve the destruction of all “non-patriots” [elbows you in the ribs] if you know what I mean.

-Stefon (having just returned from his night out at Les Miserables, the club that [breaks character]) Diggs ain’t happy. His targets early last year were in the 8-9 range and this year he’s down around 4. Too Many Cook is the problem. Well that, and the Vikings passing game is a joke wrapped inside a buffoonery encompassed by a jape which is making regular orbital passes around a monkeyshine. This on the heels of Thielen doing some barking about Cousins.

TO THE GAME!

Rams/Seahawks:

Completely competent L.A. cb’s Peterson and Talib were torchified last week to the tune of 50+ points. How’d this happen? PFF tells me that Winston focused on the long ball and this is reflected in his Average Depth Of Target being a very healthy 9.4. Ciara Wilson’s husband’s ADOT so far this year? 9.6. As she said before the marriage, “Balls Away!”.

I talked about it last time and I’ll bring it up again-being that it’s a Darren Sproles-type week, (meaning short) maybe fade Gurleycake? Malcolm Brown might be the play here. And if Chris Carson happens to fumble yet again, maybe Rashaad Penney is your guy.

Have at it, funboys!

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Sharkbait

That would have been a GLORIOUS drop

King Hippo

holy cats, so close to a goat moment

/fuck a duck, RW be good

Sharkbait

Gotta go for it

King Hippo

32-32 OT?

Mr. Ayo

32-29.

Buster won’t tie it back up.

Mr. Ayo

Nevermind. Seattle too busy trying to establish the run down 5 on 3&Goal from 9 yards out.

Mr. Ayo

And exhale. Holy crap.

King Hippo

yeah your OC is…interesting

King Hippo

One of those gash calls each way now.

Mr. Ayo

Another terrible call. But I’ll take it!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, those Hi-Lighter lime green Seahawks unis are pretty intense.

King Hippo

problem is they can’t quite run the clock out here

Sharkbait

He’s out.

Go to Kupp next.

litre_cola

It will be that big goofy tight end.

WCS

There are Peter King columns discussing the Red Sox that are shorter than this new PI rule.

King Hippo

Now that Pedroia’s ded, who is scrappy enough to be his BAE now?

King Hippo

hand down (out of bounds) before foot

Sharkbait

I think Cooks is KO’d

Mr. Ayo

At least he got the catch.

King Hippo

did nae did in vain

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yo mofos!. been out having a little bit of a reunion with a bunch of my old Iraq/Kuwait/Afghanistan workmates, got the game on now, but after all the drinky action, doubt if you will see me any further than this post. Hope all is well with all of you!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Survive a war but can’t survive a live blog?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Too soon?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve already made a couple of drunk posts recently that are kind of embarrassing, don’t want to wear out my welcome here too soon. Gonna have foot surgery in December that’ll keep me at home for 3 months, so I’ve got to make sure I don’t annoy anyone anymore than I already have since I’ll probably spending more time here than normal.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, I went back and looked and was surprised to see no one bagged on my drunken Guess Who post from last night, so I’m a bit pleased about that. Can’t imagine any of y’all are interested in my adolescent sexcapades, especially since we’re only talking about a handjob.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not as many hookers here as there were in the war zone. It’s an important difference.

Brocky

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King Hippo

how the fuck he complete that??

King Hippo

FUCK OFF HULU, I AM OLD AND WILL HAVE CABLE TILL I DIE

blaxabbath

DON’T YOU SOCIALISTS TOUCH MY MEDICARE!

Brocky

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blaxabbath

Sup all? I’m laying over at the Phoenix airport. How are you all color rushing?

Is color rush still a thing?

King Hippo

this is Russell Wilson’s scramble!

Spur

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King Hippo

I appreciate how young and thin you like ’em. Makes me feel 10-15% less perverted.

litre_cola

2 good Thursday night games in a row. Next week will be a snuff film.

King Hippo

THREE! We had another Jaguras/Tits el clasico, don’t forget

herodotus450

Ryan Fitzpatrick is jealous
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGyUgHl7pVY

jjfozz

So the halftime segment included: the NFL, WWE, and a plug for Wal Mart. All we needed was Trump getting jerked off by Giulani and it would have been a perfect slice of Americana

King Hippo

there is even forced rasslin’ banter DURING the play-by-play. I really hate this fucking country sometimes.

*most of the time

Senor Weaselo

In well duh news, Eagle Prime, MegaBots’s giant robot, sold for about $170K to someone in Russia.

King Hippo

wait, Jaron Brown is still playing FITBAW??

jjfozz

THESE SIMPSONS, I CALL THEM A RABID DOG, BECAUSE THEY’RE YELLOW AND NEED TO BE PUT DOWN

King Hippo

wait, Clay Matthews is still playing FITBAW?

Brocky

If he’s clay the 3rd, and his dad was clay junior, does he still go by that now that clay the 1st is dead?

King Hippo

This is like all the goddamned Hank Williamses

litre_cola

George Foreman scoffs at you.

Brick Meathook

I just got home after an 11 hour Trans-Atlantic flight. Here’s what Greenland looks like in case you want to buy property there:

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herodotus450

“I want this guy Brick shot out of the sky for taking spy photos of Trumpsylvania. Take him alive though, with a name like that he might know how to build a wall.”

Brick Meathook

I HAVE THE BEST WALLS

Brocky

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Spur

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Duchess

someone needs to call HR

Mr. Ayo

They’ll ignore it. Coon on coon.

Brocky

That gif goes from rapey to playful

Spur

Let the record show Duchess, Qyo and Brocky approve

King Hippo

best version, too

King Hippo

I would like to have a beer with Peter Hook, except that I’m a recluse and he’s an alcoholic.

Brocky

I’m so fucking manly that if I had a daughter there’s no way she wouldn’t turn out to be gay. My love for pussy is so strong it’d be inherited like athleticism and diabetes.

Brocky

For the record, yes i know what this sounds like. It just popped into my head while at work and I’ve been giggling about it at random times all day

King Hippo

ah sure enjoyed it!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Otherwise, how are things going, Mr. Trump?

Duchess

Wait if the toys were a surprise how did Strahan know they are for sale at WalMart? TV why are you lying to me like Trump??

herodotus450

Almost two periods into the season and Brad Marchand still hasn’t suffered a career ending injury. I’m beginning to think that genie was lying.

LemonJello

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Was it this genie? Seems…shifty to me for some reason.

herodotus450

Looks more… athletic, to me.

LemonJello

There is a question about his grittiness.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Balls, are you still looking for pornhub searches? For current events, I’d go with “Elizabeth Warren Cougar.” For this game I’d go with “gum chewing asshole”.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yup yup yup!

Senor Weaselo

Evening in earnest lizard people, I would like to posit that the only thing better than taking off one’s pants after work is one’s (not just dumb, but analog hands) watch. On a brighter note I just pretended I was a real-life professor this week, so hey, progress!

King Hippo

hoo-eee, lookit Mr. Nelson Rockefeller over thar!

herodotus450

Needs to keep his watch on his wrist cause his pockets are so full of money, I’d bet.

Senor Weaselo

You know it, from making that sweet sweet professor’s assistant money!
/HA!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. It’s still light out, one half of football and 1.5 baseball games are in the books, and I’m getting buzzed. LA ain’t bad.

King Hippo

tell all them Doyers fans that the #BFIB are coming for ’em!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck your Cardinals

LemonJello

And there’s the latest Papal Missive to the masses…

Sharkbait

Blake Bortles Behind Baby Buster?? Blimey!

Sharkbait

Kuppdown WOOOOO

Sharkbait

Ice Giants win! Now let’s check on the Foo-AHHH MY EYES

King Hippo

he hit him ABOVE THE KNEES

Mr. Ayo

Bullshit call.

King Hippo

pretty soon, you will have to prove you hit the QB directly in the weiner, or it will be automatically too high or low

Senor Weaselo

Cockshots for all!
/Balls can we get a search on that? Alternately can we definitely not get a search on that?

King Hippo

Sure am enjoying Cooks’ 0.00

King Hippo

Buster – still just a turd out there

WCS

He missed Motherboy this year.
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Sharkbait

5-4 Ice Giants.