There were some fool-adjacent blowhards last week (me) that yakked from their gum disease-riddled mouths to the top of their phlegm-soaked lungs that last week’s game was going to be a stinker. So now I think we might be in line for another better than average tilt. Hey!, maybe I’ll type about it below! First though we just must make mention of newsy football stuff.
-In I Told You So News, Saquon isn’t human and will be back well before the 6-8 week outlook. Reports are sort of a good/bad thingy though. He’s running around the practice field already but he’s also cutting. You don’t like to see that kind of self-harming-he does enough of that just playing football. Seems a bit much.
-We’ve seen this before-“The Patriots and Nugent Reach an Agreement”. Both circumstances involve the destruction of all “non-patriots” [elbows you in the ribs] if you know what I mean.
-Stefon (having just returned from his night out at Les Miserables, the club that [breaks character]) Diggs ain’t happy. His targets early last year were in the 8-9 range and this year he’s down around 4. Too Many Cook is the problem. Well that, and the Vikings passing game is a joke wrapped inside a buffoonery encompassed by a jape which is making regular orbital passes around a monkeyshine. This on the heels of Thielen doing some barking about Cousins.
TO THE GAME!
Rams/Seahawks:
Completely competent L.A. cb’s Peterson and Talib were torchified last week to the tune of 50+ points. How’d this happen? PFF tells me that Winston focused on the long ball and this is reflected in his Average Depth Of Target being a very healthy 9.4. Ciara Wilson’s husband’s ADOT so far this year? 9.6. As she said before the marriage, “Balls Away!”.
I talked about it last time and I’ll bring it up again-being that it’s a Darren Sproles-type week, (meaning short) maybe fade Gurleycake? Malcolm Brown might be the play here. And if Chris Carson happens to fumble yet again, maybe Rashaad Penney is your guy.
Have at it, funboys!
That would have been a GLORIOUS drop
holy cats, so close to a goat moment
/fuck a duck, RW be good
Gotta go for it
“You can’t hit the black quarterbacks now? Times really have changed!”
-NAACP
–
32-32 OT?
32-29.
Buster won’t tie it back up.
Nevermind. Seattle too busy trying to establish the run down 5 on 3&Goal from 9 yards out.
And exhale. Holy crap.
yeah your OC is…interesting
One of those gash calls each way now.
Another terrible call. But I’ll take it!
Man, those Hi-Lighter lime green Seahawks unis are pretty intense.
problem is they can’t quite run the clock out here
He’s out.
Go to Kupp next.
It will be that big goofy tight end.
There are Peter King columns discussing the Red Sox that are shorter than this new PI rule.
Now that Pedroia’s ded, who is scrappy enough to be his BAE now?
hand down (out of bounds) before foot
Need Goffdown but I think you right.
“One catch, one bell wrung.”
-Brandin Cooks’ Stat Line
I think Cooks is KO’d
At least he got the catch.
did nae did in vain
He kinda looked lights out when his noggin hit the field.
Yo mofos!. been out having a little bit of a reunion with a bunch of my old Iraq/Kuwait/Afghanistan workmates, got the game on now, but after all the drinky action, doubt if you will see me any further than this post. Hope all is well with all of you!!
Survive a war but can’t survive a live blog?
Too soon?
I’ve already made a couple of drunk posts recently that are kind of embarrassing, don’t want to wear out my welcome here too soon. Gonna have foot surgery in December that’ll keep me at home for 3 months, so I’ve got to make sure I don’t annoy anyone anymore than I already have since I’ll probably spending more time here than normal.
Don’t sweat it. I’ve got at least a dozen under my belt and I’ve only lost the respect of 35% of the commentariat. Keep it going!
Well, I went back and looked and was surprised to see no one bagged on my drunken Guess Who post from last night, so I’m a bit pleased about that. Can’t imagine any of y’all are interested in my adolescent sexcapades, especially since we’re only talking about a handjob.
Not as many hookers here as there were in the war zone. It’s an important difference.
This is now marinating overnight. https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016728-grilled-skirt-steak-with-garlic-and-herbs?action=click&module=RecipeBox&pgType=recipebox-page®ion=steak&rank=4
how the fuck he complete that??
FUCK OFF HULU, I AM OLD AND WILL HAVE CABLE TILL I DIE
DON’T YOU SOCIALISTS TOUCH MY MEDICARE!
I’LL HOLD UP THE EXPRESS GROCERY LINE BY SLOWLY PICKING THE EXACT CHANGE OUT OF MY POCKET. I’LL ASK FOR THE TOTAL MORE THAN ONCE, BTW.
Sup all? I’m laying over at the Phoenix airport. How are you all color rushing?
Is color rush still a thing?
this is Russell Wilson’s scramble!
I appreciate how young and thin you like ’em. Makes me feel 10-15% less perverted.
2 good Thursday night games in a row. Next week will be a snuff film.
THREE! We had another Jaguras/Tits el clasico, don’t forget
Ryan Fitzpatrick is jealous
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGyUgHl7pVY
So the halftime segment included: the NFL, WWE, and a plug for Wal Mart. All we needed was Trump getting jerked off by Giulani and it would have been a perfect slice of Americana
there is even forced rasslin’ banter DURING the play-by-play. I really hate this fucking country sometimes.
*most of the time
In well duh news, Eagle Prime, MegaBots’s giant robot, sold for about $170K to someone in Russia.
wait, Jaron Brown is still playing FITBAW??
THESE SIMPSONS, I CALL THEM A RABID DOG, BECAUSE THEY’RE YELLOW AND NEED TO BE PUT DOWN
wait, Clay Matthews is still playing FITBAW?
If he’s clay the 3rd, and his dad was clay junior, does he still go by that now that clay the 1st is dead?
This is like all the goddamned Hank Williamses
George Foreman scoffs at you.
GURLEYCAKEDOWN!
I just got home after an 11 hour Trans-Atlantic flight. Here’s what Greenland looks like in case you want to buy property there:
“I want this guy Brick shot out of the sky for taking spy photos of Trumpsylvania. Take him alive though, with a name like that he might know how to build a wall.”
I HAVE THE BEST WALLS
someone needs to call HR
They’ll ignore it. Coon on coon.
That gif goes from rapey to playful
Let the record show Duchess, Qyo and Brocky approve
Back in the day this was the greatest song ever. Ever. You couldn’t convince me otherwise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mpZUPPTyjo
best version, too
When you read bios of folks/bands that you admire they tend to diminish as the truth outs. Not so with Joy Division. Just a bunch of raw lads just trying to get by doing what they liked.
I would like to have a beer with Peter Hook, except that I’m a recluse and he’s an alcoholic.
I’m so fucking manly that if I had a daughter there’s no way she wouldn’t turn out to be gay. My love for pussy is so strong it’d be inherited like athleticism and diabetes.
For the record, yes i know what this sounds like. It just popped into my head while at work and I’ve been giggling about it at random times all day
ah sure enjoyed it!
Otherwise, how are things going, Mr. Trump?
Wait if the toys were a surprise how did Strahan know they are for sale at WalMart? TV why are you lying to me like Trump??
Almost two periods into the season and Brad Marchand still hasn’t suffered a career ending injury. I’m beginning to think that genie was lying.
Was it this genie? Seems…shifty to me for some reason.
Looks more… athletic, to me.
There is a question about his grittiness.
Halftime! I like this drummer boy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpGp-22t0lU
Balls, are you still looking for pornhub searches? For current events, I’d go with “Elizabeth Warren Cougar.” For this game I’d go with “gum chewing asshole”.
Yup yup yup!
Evening in earnest lizard people, I would like to posit that the only thing better than taking off one’s pants after work is one’s (not just dumb, but analog hands) watch. On a brighter note I just pretended I was a real-life professor this week, so hey, progress!
hoo-eee, lookit Mr. Nelson Rockefeller over thar!
Needs to keep his watch on his wrist cause his pockets are so full of money, I’d bet.
You know it, from making that sweet sweet professor’s assistant money!
/HA!
Evening. It’s still light out, one half of football and 1.5 baseball games are in the books, and I’m getting buzzed. LA ain’t bad.
tell all them Doyers fans that the #BFIB are coming for ’em!
Fuck your Cardinals
And there’s the latest Papal Missive to the masses…
Blake Bortles Behind Baby Buster?? Blimey!
Kuppdown WOOOOO
OneGoffOneKuppDown!
Ice Giants win! Now let’s check on the Foo-AHHH MY EYES
he hit him ABOVE THE KNEES
Bullshit call.
pretty soon, you will have to prove you hit the QB directly in the weiner, or it will be automatically too high or low
Cockshots for all!
/Balls can we get a search on that? Alternately can we definitely not get a search on that?
Sure am enjoying Cooks’ 0.00
Buster – still just a turd out there
He missed Motherboy this year.
5-4 Ice Giants.