Yeah, I know westies, it’s still morning out there. But for just once could those of us in the eastern time zones pretend that the world revolves around us? [runs away while giggling]
TO THE GAMES!
Fins/Bills:
I’ll actually tune in here and there for this one just to watch Josh Allen’s What Will He Do Next? Show. A sixty yard bomb? An intercept on a screen pass? A thirty yard scramble that nets five yards? All of these and more are on the table. He can do it all.
Jags/Bengals:
Auden Tate was targeted 10 times last week. It’s as though Dalton has no one else to throw to. Okay, maybe Mixon out of the backfield but that’s about it. The draft picks received by Jax are not expected to play today-one has tweaked an ankle and the other just needs to get up to speed on the defensive schemes.
Vikes/Lions:
Minny has won two straight and the Lions have lost two. The former need this one badly otherwise they’ll go 0-3 in the division. Odds are it’ll be close because all of Detroit’s games have been decided by 4 points or less.
Raiders/Packers:
Scanning the waiver wire looking for help? Green Bay’s wr corps are all kinds of banged up and someone named Allen Lazard came to the fore last week and caught everything thrown his way. You best scoop him up while he’s still in His Majesty’s good graces-2 weeks from now he may fall out of favour for tying his shoelaces incorrectly or somesuch.
Texans/Colts:
J.J. “Look at Me” Watts has found his form again with all kinds of hurries, hits and pressures. All that and 5 sacks to boot. Brissett is slowly but surely opening up his play-calling and the O is benefiting.
Cards/Giants:
Kyler and Daniel have some things in common, one of which is multiple articles written about them that goes something like this:”Rookie QB’s Are Playing Like Rookie QB’s”. Comparisons of all sorts will run amok today just like David and Saquon. The first one to 125 combined yardos wins.
Niners/Potato Skins:
San Franny is so committed to the run that ever since Coleman returned from injury both he and Breida are top 25 in carries per game. Is rook wr McLaurin matchup-proof? Today we find out. My bet is “no”.
Rams/Falcons:
Will Jalen stop the bleeding in the Rams secondary? Perhaps not immediately-doctors have officially declared that wound ‘suppurating’.
Have at it.
Watson is starting to use his TE corps very efficiently
Not Throwing To Hopkins At All Costs: A DeShaun Watson Story
So, Fuller and Jacobs are hurt. Well that wraps up this week quickly.
Why can’t you sub injured players in Fantasy? Isn’t the whole point of picking starters and having a bench to emulate real football?
Like make substitutions at the half.
Would take some of the fun out of the game
I had a random urge to plug in Hauschka this week, which I ignored. Self-hatred…RISING
Don’t yeeeewwwww quit me, Brokeback!
Colts score with a bad call on Houston’s 4 and 1, and a non call when a tipped ball catch was clearly out of bounds.
The Houston Texans, making mediocrity look spectacular since 2002
Good for the Fuck Lions.
The Chain Gang in Cincinnati is running back to the field because their assumed extended break is over because the Bengals actually got a first down.
Do the Giants know they’re supposed to tackle the running back?
I’ve made a huge mistake
what, you ignored the only good advice I ever gave??
I got home from Ubering at 3:30 in the morning. The only NFL update I’d missed was that Johnson would play and get his full workload blah, blah, blah. I caved. When I tell you for whom, you are going to punch me through my tablet screen. Already projected to lose by 25+ points, I went looking for Contrarian Fireworks, and landed on…
[hangs head]
[winces]
…AJ Brown.
Don’t hate me.
Damn Giants, you suck
Fuller ded. David Johnson getting vultured. I’m doomed.
Is David Johnson out?
Month of macabre continues
Fronk – you DID play Edmonds, I hopes?
are the Qardinals…not that shitty??
I’m really gonna miss Geno Atkins.
“I’m gonna miss Atkins too.” – a tearful Andy Reid after being told by his doctor that consuming 40 lbs of meat and cheese per day does not qualify as a “diet”
Will Fuller is a shame.
Goddamn Aaron rodgers
also godfuckingdamnit, United
So in addition to john Ross, Josh Gordon, DeSean Jackson, marquise brown being injured, will fuller has decided “brocky has me? Fuck it I’m out.”
I sat cooper. now he’s gonna light it up tonight
Only A.A. Ron could have made that throw.
Lol foreskins….
Fuller hurt? JUST HAVE TO THROW TO HOPKINS I GUESS
at least my Chase Edmonds advice were good
Da fuck defense was that? One cut, untouched?
Fuller ded
I do like these maroon Washington jerseys
Jesus Christ Jags, what the hell was that??
The Doug Marrone Special.
Cincy did good?
Holy shit! The Bengals stopped somebody?!
OF COURSE. I have both Chark and Horny Fourny.
……is it too early to make a Chris Henry joke?
Josh Jacobs, not bad at his job.
Have him in all 3 of my money leagues. GIVE HIM THE BALL.
he die
And… he’s hurt
I think Amos might be dead. Jacobs ran him over
If I were a nigerian scammer, I would find a way to target exclusively people who purposely watch nfl pregrame shows, cause then I already know they are the stupidest of the stupid and will probably fall for my schemes.
yeah, *if*
Wearing my Donks WOO!!! slippers because I am a man of great resistance to change.
There are acres of seats in the lower bowl of PBS. Bengals fans have had enough of the Bengals BS.
I’ve seen more people at a High School Marching Band Invitational.
Jacobs needs to run that ball all day. FUCK YOUR CHEESE
Tony Romo is doing the Raiders – Punk Ass Packers game.
Have they dialed back the Romo this year? I have noticed him way less.
becuase of the immense, well-deserved RESPEK he has for A.A. Ron
Time to see what Fu Minshew looks like.
Why do I think I need a new encyclopedia set suddenly?
The Merck Index is a chemistry book and the top one is obviously math – I wonder if she’s a dual major.
Yay! My migraine is back!
Oh, good, when mine finally left I was hoping it would find a good home.
Where are Wakey and BK’s wife? Because It’s Happening!!
VAR – <3 ya, boo
Somethin somethin two in the bush somethin somthin
I am still drunk I think.
keep drinking
But then I will miss tonight.
/Probably will watch Dakota Jesus get murdered in the 1st half and pass out.
Glad I did all the heavy lifting for today’s dinner yesterday. Now it’s just warm everything up, bring it to a simmer for a few hours and watch some damn football.
Gonna alternate between my boys vs Detroit and Indy vs the 500’s.
Happy game day everyone.
Morning Folks
Aroldis Chapman forgot how to throw strikes and blew the save?
Non-save Aroldis to boot? (Game was tied.)
Those last two at bats were basically the same as Charlie Sheen’s character’s first mound appearance in Major League.
Yeah, the Astros just abused Chapman. He probably feels pretty battered today.
I did pick up Bills’ returning RB, [name unknown], as a bye week FF plug. Hit paydirt with AD last week, feeling like it’s a good time for ol’ blax to cash in on “bet against the 2019 Dolphins”.
Cole Beasley for me. Go flaming tables!
Singletary. Good football name, Singletary
Since it’s Sunday, and society’s going to shit, let’s remember the 3rd Commandment:
Thankfully Disney has Star Wars now so Lucus can’t do this to us.
Redshirt’s banner quote is on fire. Much like JoePa in Hell.
Oh my god, I didn’t even notice this morning. That is Gold.
..and that was a throw away comment. I didn’t expect it to leave the park but it did.
*rhythmic slapping….I MEAN CLAPPING!!*
::Masturbates to the legend of JoePa dying before being caught.::
– Rep Jim Jordan
Tis 5 something in the morning and I’m headed to work for reasons.
Happy Sunday everybody!
But the gathering yesterday at Pacific Dining Car was awesome.
Aw, nuts.