Your “It’s World Series Eve!” Monday Night Football Open Thread

What, you thought I was going to reference this bukkakke-ganza of a game in the title? For shame…

Fallout:

-It would seem that Matt Ryan has just a regular old sprained ankle and not the ‘high’ kind. Soon to be not-coach Quinn indicated that he’s already running in a pool (of his own blood?) today.

-Fantasy owners everywhere were given the shaft when David Johnson couldn’t make a go of it yesterday. Chase Edmonds thanked the magical black custodian that believed in him when no one else did, after the game.

-Relatedly, the Cards have invited both Spencer Ware and Jay Ajayi to audition for an rb spot. The written portion consists of “can you carry an oblong ball several yards down the field?” and “did you get the ‘Rudy’ reference in an obscure football blog that was posted just now?”.

-Don’t tell me that Fin’s safety Bobby McCain doesn’t care about his team. He’ll be disciplined soon for spitting in the face of a Bills fan and exchanging words with a 13 year-old after Miami’s loss yesterday. This has clinched it for me-they’re gonna finish 1-15, not 0-16.

-Despite extremely poor qb play of late, the Bears ran the ball all of 7 (SEVEN!) times yesterday. According to reporters present after the game, coach Matt Nagy lifted his head to the sky and yelled, “I’M NOT AN IDIOT!” to the football gods. The lack of response from the gods was deafening.

TO THE GAME!

Pats/Jets:

What’s to say here? I sorta enjoy Booger McFarland’s incredibly *insistent!* announcing. The birds that live in Sam Darnold’s eyebrows sing a melodious tune. Bill Belichick’s favourite food is ‘cupcakes’. C.J. Mosley missed his calling as a private dick in late ’60’s Las Vegas. Yeah, that’s about it.

Type you beautiful mutherfuckers, type.

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Porky Prime

I haven’t seen a botched abortion like that since The Fly II.

ALXMAC
Senor Weaselo

Well I’ll have to stay up to watch the end of Fallon. Teddy Abrams is on, and I’m friends with a cellist in the Louisville Orchestra.

Fronkenshteen

This is the first time I’m going to watch head coach post-game interviews on purpose.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Sam Darnold has a wonderful haircut, and his hair is perfect

Also, I’d love to meet his tailor.

Dunstan

AWOOOOO!!!

ALXMAC
Fronkenshteen

“That was offside, wut’n it?”

Senor Weaselo

I haven’t seen a New York expy look like such a shitshow since Gotham was in flames at the end of Joker.

King Hippo

I could win my fantasy matchup by less than one point (I caught a glitch in how Bears D/ST accounted for the Saints’ safety) if Le’Veon doesn’t get anything else.

ALXMAC

Ask BFC aboot that. I won my 1st game of the season last week by .12 before a mid-week correction gave me a .22 win.

King Hippo

THIS IS WHY YOU WATCH REDZONE AND BE A COMPLETIONIST

King Hippo

Once confirmed, my 2 wins will be 1) with the 3rd lowest score of the week; and 2) with the 2nd lowest score of the week. Easily the worst I have ever done at teh fantasy.

ALXMAC

Ditto. I drafted Miss Gordon in the 3rd Round.

Game Time Decision

That’s my team. And f u. Lol

King Hippo

there was also an EXACT TIE last season

Dunstan

“A what?” — D. McNabb

ALXMAC

Could you at least have changed the team name to GTD? It’s not as much fun to talk trash to the wrong person.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Isn’t it though

Viva La Tabula Raza

TIme to let Stidham get out there and get a couple of turnovers out of his system.

Sharkbait

ALL OF THE SAD JETS FAN GIF

Unsurprised

That’s every Jets fan gif

Viva La Tabula Raza

Are there any other kind?

Unsurprised

I need to start a company teaching politicians how to create burner accounts.

King Hippo

How about Blackface Consulting?

Dunstan

Ron Mexico & Associates LLC

Viva La Tabula Raza

Chrissake, they can lie with just about no ramifications at all already, please don’t make it even easier for them….

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GAME I CALL IT UNCHECKED WAHHABISM, BECAUSE JETS ARE GOING DOWN IN FLAMES IN NEW YORK!!!

Sharkbait

Oh, that’s good!

ALXMAC

Had to google the term (sure that I’m not the only one), but damn man good quote.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought it was a sushi thing.

ALXMAC
Horatio Cornblower

Why would you challenge that? It’s 33-0, let them have this moment.

Brick Meathook

Belichick? “Let them have nothing.”

Unsurprised

“Their punishment must be more severe.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

These incomplete passes to Bell are killing me

Sharkbait

Well that was interesting.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have to ask–if you’re a Jets fan, why bother coming to this game?

Also, just why?

Horatio Cornblower

What the hell is Darnold even doing right now?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Exhibiting symptoms of syphilis?

Mr. Ayo

At this point, it might be more healthy for Sam to walk in on his mother getting plowed by Bill than continue to play in this game.

hippofant

I think the Jets receivers are probably happier running routes to the right on 3rd down so they have a shorter walk to the sideline.

Brick Meathook

I remember Ché Stadium

Petronel

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Brick Meathook

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herodotus450

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