Your “It All Comes Down To This” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL Nuggets:

  • The Patriots have dragged Nick Folk out of retirement to be their new kicker.
    • He last played in the NFL in 2017 for Tampa Bay.
      • Earlier in 2019, he was the kicker for the Arizona Hotshots of the Alliance of American Football. So he’s had a little game action this year.
  • Arena football might finally be dead.
    • ESPN reports that Arena Football One, the successor to the old Arena League, suspended operations on Wednesday.
    • It is the result of a lawsuit over alleged unpaid insurance premiums between 2009-2012.
      • “Those liabilities, which are all related to prior league operations, severely constrain the league’s ability to expand and operate,” the league said in a statement.

Finally, I think we all need to take a deep breath and enjoy Mark Schlereth taking a giant dump on John Elway today.

  • He went on FS1 and just said what most everyone is thinking:
    • “Do I trust him to fix what’s gone wrong? No. I mean, how did he fix it in the first place? He found himself a unicorn, Peyton Manning,” Schlereth said on FS1. “Peyton Manning makes up for a multitude of sins. All the quarterbacks he’s gotten after don’t.”
  • And here’s the literal money shot:


Dead-Deadspin update:

  • The ad company that helped start the furor has dropped the campaign.
    • Borrowing from The Daily Beast, Farmers Insurance Group pulled a seven-figure advertising deal with G/O Media this week amid increasingly public turmoil between the digital-media company’s management and editorial staff.
      • According to the Wall Street Journal, the campaign was worth $1 million and required the media company to deliver nearly 43.5 million ad impressions through next year.
  • It’s gone full KSK – All of the writers have quit – apparently all at 6:00PM ET.

  • Management, in response, has shut off all commenting on the few articles that were published today & released their own statement:

  • And a guy who thinks his farts are cologne has also weighed in:


Bringing smiles to faces:

Since the world has been kinda garbage lately, here’s a couple of things to hopefully make you smile.

First, a tweet from one of my favourite follows on the Twitter:

I didn’t know he had that side. At least, I didn’t when he spoke at my church in the 70s.

     

That decade was strange.

Second, I took the dogs for a hike this morning, and we played hide & seek in the woods.

We didn’t find any “presents” from Scotchy, and they were plenty exhausted when I left for work.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Not-Expos at Astros – 8:00PM | FOX / Sportsnet
      • As Son Of Spam said last night, the Not-Expos have the road field advantage.
    • GAME 7, BAY-BAY!

Other sports:

  • NHL:
    • Oilers at Blue Jackets – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
    • Wild at Blues – 8:00PM | NBCSN
    • Canucks at Kings – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
  • MLS:
    • Eastern Conference Final:
      • Atlanta United vs. Toronto FC – 8:00PM | FS1 / TSN
  • NBA:
    • Pistons at Raptors – 7:30PM | TSN3
    • Bucks at Celtics – 7:30PM | ESPN
    • Clippers at Jazz – 10:00PM | ESPN
  • Wrasslin;
    • AEW Dynamite – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
    • NXT – 8:00PM | USA

That’s it for me until Saturday. Don’t forget to tune in tomorrow for the annual “[DFO] Hallowe’en Spook-tacular”, where we share stories we wrote or plagiarized ourselves.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighblackroseMD1Unsurprisedyeah rightBuddy Cole's Halftime Show! Recent comment authors
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Rally Time

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The main drawback to being a fat fuck is that it takes a lot of booze to get truly drunk.

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But it’s worth it

yeah right

The last true bastion of free speech.

Sorry for the auto-play ads.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Detroit Free Press is a sneaky good Twitter account:

https://twitter.com/freep/status/1189751474164838403?s=19

blackroseMD1

Their response to the initial tweet made me guffaw.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Senor Weaselo

So now that Stephen Curry broke his hand, who besides Draymond Green is an NBA player I’ve heard of on that team?

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.

WCS

Alright. Time to watch the classic Beavis and Butthead Halloween episode: Bungholio, Lord of the Harvest

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Refill!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Just imagine the look of joy on all those underprivileged kids’ faces when they receive their “Houston Astros – World Series Champions” t-shirts!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Especially the kids in Dallas.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

And in the 5th Ward in Houston.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

If you also form an exploratory committee to run against whatshisdick the senator from NC, we can really clean up.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Guatemalans are stunned when they find out the Bills weren’t a dynasty.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gotta say, that was pretty cool

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What was?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The based-ball

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The what>

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Senor Weaselo

Curse of Strasburg over, Strasburg wins WS MVP.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m really glad I shaved since that video was recorded. How embarrassing.

Sharkbait
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Amen to that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Let’s be honest, this was all a part of the great Al-Qaeda conspiracy where they flew the airliners into the towers and then the Patriots won their first SB ever 5 months later.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

I’m manic and just getting this Deadspin news so bear with me.

I started reading sometime before I found KSK (so about 2008 or so) and I enjoyed the articles and the abject hedonism that was the comment section. It was a dumber, but more self aware Gawker. I never liked most of the other shit that was under the Gawker Media umbrella, so Deadspin was where I stayed.

Then AJ became editor. It seemed to get progressively meaner and take it self way more seriously. Leitch could be a folksy doofus but at least he was genuine, AJ always seemed like a slimy prick looking for clicks not unlike the people who run it now..

I also didn’t forget some of the dogshit hit pieces Gawker wrote, obviously culminating in the Hulk Hogan lawsuit. They treated it like it was a joke and got burned for it, and judging from the reactions there were a ton of people that couldn’t wait to piss on Gawker’s grave.

I’ll be honest, for the past four years, it just hasn’t been very good. The articles (that aren’t long-form) are middling at best, and more often that not they have published some utter dreck that would turn off any new or casual fan (take a shot every time they use the phrase “piss-baby”) that would result in the top comment saying “this is a bad take and this why you’re wrong”.

It may be called Deadspin but it hasn’t been as such for years. I don’t think it can be anymore. I remember they used to get a shitton of their exclusive stuff from tips (I even sent them something that became an article in 2010 or so) but now people can just publish it themselves. How many of their articles are just them citing tweets or using MLB’s videos for highlights? If you are going to do that, you better be damn good at editorializing and I just don’t think they are.

This day has been coming for a while and Gawker made their bed with this all years ago. And if you’re going to make your bones kicking people while they’re down, you better make sure you’re flawless.

ballsofsteelandfury

Totally agree.

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That too

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s interesting because I found deadspin the opposite way – I started reading withleather, and then KSK, and *then* I traced their lineage back to deadspin.

blackroseMD1

Same here.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My view is that deadspin went seriously downhill during Daulerio’s tenure, but Emma and Barry did a great job and they had some outstanding individual contributors. Deadspin wasn’t special to me anymore, so this week wasn’t like losing a loved one, it was like seeing an ex you didn’t hate get mowed down by a drunk driver in a Yugo. Blindfolded and with a belt around his neck.

ballsofsteelandfury

The ex or the drunk driver?

Senor Weaselo

Great news, the Dacia Sandero hadn’t run anyone over in this metaphor!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I agree with this taek completely. I understand the strong sentimental attachment many DFOers may have for Deadspin, but that site and the current writers/editors were frankly pretty lame the last few years. The “serious” articles were childish and these people were full of themselves with no justification (just like me, but I don’t preach). Some of those “writers” resigning in a huff are probably losing the last paid writing gig they’ll ever have, because they’re just not that good to begin with and their body of work at Deadspin isn’t impressive. I also agree that Daulerio killed everything he ever touched.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

I don’t envy their situation at all under this current model, but I’m tired of people pretending they were that much better when they had carte blanche to say what they want. Billy bores me to tears with some token soccer post, Kelsey gets a bunch of shit wrong in a bad faith article, and then two of these interchangeable personalities talk about old baseball cards as the video gets autoplayed for the 10th fucking time.

And then Hamilton Nolan comes oozing from his rock of privilege once a month to write the same trite horseshit for nearly a decade now.

yeah right

To add in, the writing for the most part had been top notch in their investigative pieces but the day to day maintenance was just rehashing the same takes over and over. Yet they still had top notch writing. I love their individualism. Burneko is great. Berry was great, Love Grandaddy Drew of course.

By that I mean…

We here at DFO are the only real site that does, whatever the fuck we do, with ALL original content. True original writing, true original ideas and true beyond a shadow of a doubt insanity.

We have NO narrative!

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/LAWYERS FLY INTO DFO

Dunstan
Dunstan

So I was just alerted that there’s a new Meetup group in my area called “Come One, Come All.” I can’t figure out if the creator is actually trying to organize an orgy or is just oblivious. Or if I just have an unusually dirty mind.

ballsofsteelandfury

My mind automatically filled that in to say “Come on One, Come on All”, so…

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“I know it was my presence at Game 5 that inspired the Nats to win the WS in 7. In their honor, I am going to invade or nuke the country of their choice!”

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SO LONG DENTAL PLAN!

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

There were no asses anywhere near resembling this one, or a lot of other asses posted by the various and sundry denizens of this site, when I was a kid. Where the hell did all these mutant asses come from?

ballsofsteelandfury

Squats. No women did squats when we were young.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You were hanging out with the wrong women.

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Brazil

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And Dr. Mengele

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

So, Mengele rehabilitated and awarded Nobel for genetics?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yeah … Let’s go with that.

Dunstan
Dunstan

So, is the premise of Deputy that the problem with Los Angeles law enforcement is that the cops are too nice and rule-abiding, and need an aggro macho cowboy to lead them?

Stupid liberal Hollywood and its commie propaganda!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Also pretty sure the next in line of command isn’t the Sheriff’s family.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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Irony is [REDACTED TO PROTECT MY ASS]

Sharkbait

Irony is Dan Snyder’s failure of a team?

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Yeah, let’s go with that

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Sharkbait

Speaking of sad Youpi:
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Dunstan
Dunstan

That is sad. Well, cocaine makes fools of us all.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Road field advantage decided the series.

How cruel for all the local fans.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m sorry, but I think it’s funny, not cruel.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

One of us! One of us!

$1k a night to watch your team lost a world series game is pretty funny.

Horatio Cornblower

Turns out the Nationals were one Bryce Harper away from winning it all, it’s just that they had to get rid of the one they had.

Dunstan
Dunstan

IT’S THE EWING THEORY! I INVENTED THAT WITH MY PALS HOUSE-O AND SULLY AND O’DOUCHEY!

Brocky

We did it?

WCS

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WCS

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Sharkbait

This makes Youppi sad.
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Senor Weaselo

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
https://youtu.be/FMgH7NmgUWE

WCS

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK OFF HOUSTON!! ARE YOU GLAD YOU SIGNED THE DOMESTIC ABUSER NOW!?!?! SUCK LARGE PENNIS TAUBMAN!!

SonOfSpam

EXPOS WIN

EXPOS WIN

EXPOS WIN

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well, if you say so…

[unzips pants]

…oh, WIN. Heh heh, yeah. Good job, Expos.

Dunstan
Dunstan

This one’s for the Kid and the Cat and the Rock….

Dunstan
Dunstan

VALDERI VALDERA!

*sniff*

/Pours one out for the Montreal Expos

/Actually wouldn’t waste alcohol on a symbolic gesture

King Hippo

LMAO, no pity run for you

Gratliff

You hate to see it

Brocky

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It’s a non-genre, but as an aesthetic it has tons of potential

Horatio Cornblower

Liv Tyler has not aged well.
/said the remarkably well-preserved balding 50+ year-old hammering away on his keyboard at damn near midnight

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Her dad aged so well though. Who could have possibly seen this coming?

King Hippo

i still have full head of hair, but everything else is just so goddamned terrible

/and yet I won’t type “still would” without a recent pic to be sure

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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King Hippo

a nice 4-month coke binge and she’d be ok again

Gratliff

– Steven Tyler

Horatio Cornblower

I was commenting on her appearance on that ad for one of those ‘911-SWAT-Chicago PDFDEMT’ shows. Just looked old and washed out.

Unlike me.
/flexes at mirror
//sprains entire body

Unsurprised
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I’d still fuck her like she was the naughty Catholic schoolgirl in Aerosmith’s Crazy video.

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Unsurprised

I never did that when I was in in Catholic school. And now I’m a middle-aged loser longing for those days.

SonOfSpam

Thank you for clarifying that it was your keyboard you were hammering away at.

Gratliff

HOW MUCH FUCKING PRODUCTION DO YOU NEED PLAY THE FUCKING INNING THIS COULD BE OVER IN THREE PITCHES OH MY GOD

SonOfSpam

My stepdad is from the DC area and is refusing to watch this game due to superstition.

Old people, amirite?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Call and tell him it backfired and they need him to watch to come back.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My good pal Rhett Reese* is a huge fan of all Arizona sports, and could have gone to see the Game 7 where the Diamondbacks beat the Yankees, but was too chickenshit because he was worried he’d have his heart broken.

*not my actual friend

SonOfSpam

That is all kinda nuts.

My greatest sports day evar is game 7 at Angels Stadium in 2002.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Now, a 3 run homer would be most welcome.

ballsofsteelandfury

Game, blouses.

WCS

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King Hippo

so much profanity muting on that field mic

SonOfSpam

Too much Natitude.

SonOfSpam

Whenever Adam Eaton is up, I think of the character in Spinal Tap with the greatest name ever.

Sir Dennis Eton-Hogg

Just fucking brilliant. God bless the Spinal Tap creators.

Sharkbait

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SonOfSpam

Every part of that movie is…we don’t deserve it.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

It goes to 11, right?

SonOfSpam

Don’t touch…don’t even look at it.

Senor Weaselo

When I get married, I am putting a request that the band plays Stonehenge.

On a related note I need to see if Senorita Weaselo has ever watched This is Spinal Tap.

SonOfSpam

If not, rectify that. (I mean watch the movie, nothing anal. Unless that’s a go.)

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Rectum? Damn near killed um.