T’was a long weekend as far as the footballing was concerned so let’s check on the-
Fallout-
-Out for the year are D-Jax and Preston Williams.
-Out for the year for other reasons is one Jermaine Whitehead. Having missed several tackles during the game, he tried to tackle some folks on twitter and, uh, it did not go well.
-In related news, Freddie Kitchens breathed a sigh of relief when his key card to the Browns facility worked earlier this morning. Team GM John Dorsey later commented, “Fred did a great job-in the whirlpool, keeping his head above water”.
-Seguing to another struggling coach-Dan Quinn ‘shook up’ his coaching staff. No one was fired but several assistants were looking for their new seats on the Atlanta Hindenburg.
-The Dolphins’ Kalen Ballage is out there playing 3D chess while the rest of us are trying to guess heads or tails. The guy managed to get Kenyan Drake traded and then follows it up by spiking new rb starter Mark Walton’s energy drink to the tune of a four game suspension. Dude has read his Sun Tzu.
TO THE GAMES!
Cowboys/Giants:
Oh boy. As a Giants fan that knows that Dallas hasn’t lost to my team for three years now, it ain’t look good. The Giants have trouble defending between the sideline and the numbers and that’s where DAK! shines. He leads all qb’s in completion %, yards per attempt and passer rating on attempts to that spot. Cooper will go off. Engram will get about 72.4 yards. (it’s his average vs. the ‘Boys) Zeke will run for 100+. Daniel Jones will fumble at least once. It is written.
Get at it.
Yes, many many short completions to Tate
Ideal MNF booth – Brockmire (never breaking character), along with Stephen Patrick Morrissey
Marcel Marceau, and Terry Schiavo.
Cowboys have yet to beat a good team, but they sure can lose to some bad ones
The last thing the NFC East winner hears as they walk out of the worst playoff loss in team history
welp…
Did they replace the Cowboys with the Jets and no one told us?
Non-Gendered Cowpersons clearly don’t feel the Noo Yawk MSA is a safe space.
They are Triggered.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trigger_(horse)
The new star wars looks like a drippy shit omelette served with a side order of rotten hemorrhoids and pitcher of vomit.
Well, if it’s cooked right with enough hot sauce….
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lMrDUOe2uuk
LOL. Please do that again Daniel
Hunter, checking the effectiveness of his ‘roids.
He can check his balls.
https://www.dontcookyourballs.com/anabolic-steroids-testicular-atrophy-balls-shrink-use-steroids/
He’s got three kids, so guess it wasn’t too much of a problem.
His wife had three kids.
You were the one mentioning steroids; I just went with the joke.
Booger does not seem to understand percentages . . . that was not a 50/50 ball. Anyway, am I alone in wishing him back to the sidelines for a 2-3 times per game mildly amusing take as opposed to his in-booth approach of consistently inaccurate observations and downright wrong analysis?
Your question; if you like Booger you hate America; do you like Booger?
That’s a perfectly cromulent way of restating the issue!
Your question; If you like Booger you are stupid; do you like Booger?
Okay; here is the internet version.
Plus Booger never shuts up. He must get paid by the word.
Now all they need to do is get a pair of pliers, gasoline, and a blow torch and go to work on this cunthead
https://abcnews.go.com/US/suspected-white-supremacist-arrested-thwarted-synagogue-attack-fbi/story?id=66745997
Now this is a marketplace of ideas I can get behind
Do a start up?
Bennett looks homeless.
Keep him away from Scotchy!
Bennett carries a hammer and can use it.
Let’s use our QB as a running back. What could go wrong
Elisha slipped that play into the call sheet
No comment on Fant? Last week you were saying he was the worst draft choice in the history of mankind.
I never went THAT far, but I am indeed happy for him. Hopefully it spurs him on.
You said he was a worse choice than the left tackle who shall not be named; same thing.
This is the first bit of original play-calling on 1st down that I’ve seen in 4 years. I’m good with that call.
Save it for 14 December, 12 days is MOAR than enough
12 days…… is that some cultural…..
Please take this gif down, it sexualizes women and there’s no place for this on DFO.
Hating xmas decorations this early IS sexy.
Why do you need to ruin our . . . good times
/sorry
//not sorry
Not sorry; that’s good.
Dear Cowboys fans, your team is irrelevant. Your owner is a small penised mad man and your head coach is an effete man-lady. You never were american’s team, that was a nickname coined by a writer, and dillweeds like you all believed it. You haven’t won a SB this century.
go eat a glass and rusty nail sandwich
yeah, my Monday sucked too
The brawl on Slack this morning kind of made my day better. nothing like being obnoxious on company time.
Brawl?
Reading between the lines…..
According to my ESPN app the Ice Giants are taking a new approach to defense by not playing any. Against the Ice REDBLACKS of all teams!
Oh I ditched that after the first. Glad I did. At least Kakko has a multi point game!
The people haven’t left yet judging by nobody in Rangers gear getting on the E at Penn Station.
I fucking hate daylight savings time. i was in a fog all day today. and not the good hangover-still drunk fog
Can we just pick a time and stick with it please? I don’t even really care if it’s savings or regular time! I prefer the one where it’s light out later in the evening, but I can live with anything as long as we stop bouncing back and forth like a bunch of spazzes.
Never forget…
Jimmy Johnson, 4 years, 2.5 Super Bowl wins, fired for not kissing Jerrah’s ass
Jason Garrett NINE FUCKING YEARS OF TURD SANDWICH, chapped lips.
American business culture, personified.
I”d say that he must have pictres of Jerrah, but Jerrah ain’t care
Barry Switzer, drunk for four years, sorta remembers winning a Superb Owl.
Read Boys Will Be Boys by Jeff Pearlman for the entire glorious story of the Johnson/Switzer soap opera told in hysterically funny fashion.
No Free play for Dak?
Evening lizard people. Make me get dirty looks on the subway, and not for bodily functions!
Ok, who’s offended already? Anyone?
mothers of Los Gigantes’ OL??
So it’s coming out that Kushner gave MBS the ok to arrest Khashoggi (am sure they no way told him they would kill him) for some money. Turkey intercepted the call and used it to blackmail Trump to leave Syria.
“So what?”
–GOP
+40-45% of all Murricans (80% of REEL ones)
running contract murder racket out of the White House, soooooo totally legit
And then they all posted what they did to their Facebook accounts.
And Capitalized The First Letter Of Every Word, don’t forget that!
“Can we call this ‘Turkeygate’ for a day and never follow up?”
-Corporate Media
So, an average Monday?
I don’t think Los Gigantes es muy bien, muchacos.
Tate also helps a bit.
The Curse of the 3-0 Lead lives in BAWSTAHN.
Gallup would’ve caught that.
DAMN SKIPPY
And polled it to boot.
4th and 15 from the 17? How the TITTYFUCK is that screen supposed to work?
THAT’S NAE GALLUP DUE BETTER DAK DAK DAK DAK!!!
Offsetting!
chance FOAR redemption
If Saquon gathers all the infinity stones in the first half, this game is in the bag.
You have Eli’s interest. Go on.
ouch. zeke got popped. it rarely falls back like that
YAAAAASSSSS, all to Gallup, muthafuckas
Hear hear
Seconded.
Baker keeps getting to make new commercials? Now am really with Kaep.
Tebow!
That could have been way worse. Shame New York doesnt want to use that running back of theirs
How the fuck ya doing boys?
Just pulled a muscle close to my shoulder cleaning for the cleaners (don’t ask). Now following the RICE method:
Rye
Ice
Citrus.
Enjoy
hahahahahaha, you never have to “clean before the paid cleaners arrive” once you get divorced! You just like, almost never have sex again.
He’s saying he killed a wise guy or three. Shit, now I’m gonna die too.
Folks
Oh that’s good.
EARLY SUDDEN CHANGE!
Whoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whenever his parents had an argument, Daniel Jones ran away to his safe place, which was the nearest “Supercuts” franchise.
Josh Gordon to Seattle? Sure. Why not. Time to dump Metcalf from my bench.
I would like to say I am surprised, but I am sadly not.
“Native American History and Founders Month” is pretty anti-immigrant, dontcha think?
almost liek they think is “feature, not bug” eh?
last funny:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Nly3q9K73E
Switching from a Noam Chomsky speech to Booger McFarland, as one does
This give and take. [chef’s kiss]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wfNl2L0Gf8
I just saw the movie The Lighthouse and hoo boy was it ever fucked up.
I dug it. Tons of atmosphere, shot in all B&W. Great performances.
My brain is still a little rattled.
Thumbs up.
I’ve heard elsewhere that’s a great movie. I also want to see The Current Wars and Ford v Ferrari.
Same here. This is my movie season not the big summer noise crap. I feel like I actually went insane.
Pac-Man is dead! Long live Q-Bert!
let us go, [checks notes] some fucking guy named Daniel Jones
I cannot imagine this game being anything but a rout, so it will probably be a 10-10 tie.
Rad Wings have been absolutely dreadful of late, yet to my surprise/horror they’re hardly alone in the nhl basement. THey even have MORE points than some teams!
[Ottawa Senator fan checks standings]
YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
Ottawa has games in hand, which makes Detroit even more pathetic. But then I looked at the West. Yikes.
The Sens ‘games in hand’ are making a wanking motion. That can’t be good.
I get some things wrong (maybe a ton of them) in my game intros as far as fantasy is concerned but I got in on the ground floor with Devin Singletary and I’m going to strut.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEtbfzMLVWU
I tried trading for him (either Golladay or that asshole Cooks) when he was out hurt, but never even got a response. I could have kept him at auction for $12 next season, too. Still, Sutton for $3 or Lindsay for $15 is ok.
Early in the season I saw him at 203 lbs. knock a linebacker on his ass. I later saw him run away from a corner. The math worked out and I had to have him. It was just a matter of time before he took over.
and you were RIGHT. I was just too universally down on their offensive potential at auction, plus I worried about Allen as TD vulture at goal line.
Not gonna lie-Brokeback (for me) is the most entertaining qb in the league. Those legs and that arm operated by a fifty cent brain? Fucking amazing.
oh, he’s fun – and JUST BARELY good enough not to be a farce
HA!
FOX NEWS: “Boomer and [Italian voice]: The New N-Words”
D-Jax is Philly’s best WR option literally WHILE under anesthesia for surgery
We done TRIED to trade y’all He-manuel Sanders! Surely your 3rd would have been better than the Tomsulas’
JJAW being a complete bust so far is disheartening. Mack Hollins literally said he only wants to play special teams because it’s easy.
shiiiiiittttt, I’d wager he’s not even very good at those, if he finds that death rumble EASY
JJAW never really impressed me at Stanford, but I at least thought he’d be a Red Zone threat.
Wonder if management learned anything from Friday’s debacle in Saudi Arabia
Ah
Blood moneys spends just fine, thank yeeeewwww – That asshole in charge of this association (can never remember his name, his wife ran for Senate??)
She’s currently the head of the US Small Business Bureau, having been appointed by Donald Trump, a famed WWE performer
Amazingly, she’s one of the most scandal-free members of this administration.