Thursday Nights Suck Again Open Thread

Having to wait until Saturday for some hot football action this week.  No more Thursday night football for us.

*sigh*

So, let’s talk about a relevant subject that really plagues our society:  Massage Therapists.

Image result for massage therapist
She will kill you. Just wait and see.

What kind of freak wants a job where you touch people all day?  Think about that for a minute.  You must really be some kind of person who loves touching various, random people. Not even people you may be attracted to.  Large men with hairy backs that smell like Kraft macaroni and cheese.  People that haven’t bathed in days, nor understand the importance of deodorant.  Hippies.  People asking for certain “favors” as an every day part of the job.

As I recall, when I’m giving the wife a massage, there is only one thing on my mind.  You know what I mean.  That sweet time when you are almost done and go back to playing video games.

Image result for skyrim
If you don’t know the game, you are probably lame.

Aw, yeah!

Well, some other things might happen, but we will stick with the rated PG version.

So, remember, when you book with a masseuse, know they might want to kill you or worse.

To the game….

I guess there is basketball on, and it’s fine:

Lakers at Bucks.  Blah

Rockets/Clippers – just enough yawning as Harden puts us to sleep.

Nets and Spurs.

I miss the old days of basketball when defenders could play defense.  Bill Laimbeer was an ass.  His enemies counted by the hundreds.  But, you watched to see that villain.  I love a good heel in wrestling, and Bill really understood his role as the heel.  As a Lakers fan, I hated him with a passion.  His indignance after getting called for a foul would just make me laugh.  That’s what you call a passion for selling his role.

Talk about something below.  I don’t know what.  Use my superior skill of eating cheeses as your inspiration.

Image result for bill laimbeer
See? He was just patting him on the head for a job well done. No foul here!
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TheRevanchist
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Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Ok so you seem to have a specific…thing.

Brick Meathook

http s://i.postimg.cc/wjmpDbQq/IMG-5069.gif

Brick Meathook

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Sharkbait

Is…is that a hate crime?

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

See the little Oriental characters that pop on screen right? I assume these are Japanese for “thwack!” or “kapow!”

Horatio Cornblower

One of the French is crying because he cost his team a chance to go to the finals. In tag.

Ease up, mon ami; it’s not like you gave the Germans the plans to Verdun.

King Hippo

ok, I know this is just teevee. But you need to full BotG this shit.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s a bunch of skinny guys running full tilt around a small parkour ring until the chasing guy either tags the evader or runs out of time.

They’re over so fast I couldn’t begin to keep up.

Senor Weaselo

It doesn’t count unless they yell “parkour!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Kvw2BPKjz0

Redshirt

Someone tell Mayor Pete, we prefer to be called Recusant Republicans.

Unsurprised

He’s more Republican than you are.

Redshirt

Compared to the current Republican Party, I’m just to the right of Lenin and Trotsky.

Unsurprised

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Horatio Cornblower

“it’s an all-French semi-final!”

Sounds like all those parties I wasn’t invited to in junior high.

Redshirt

Okay. Back from Star Wars IX. Non-Spoiler Review: Its better than Last Jedi and had the feel of a Star Wars movie. At times it was a color-by-numbers story, but it grew from the past movies instead of its own standalone (I’m looking at you VIII). Its not the best Star Wars movie (I’d put it at 5th place behind the original trilogy and VII, but it may go up to 4th with repeat viewings), but its not as bad as the reviews are saying and its worth checking out.

How was the debate? As a Moderate, am I still screwed?

Sharkbait

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King Hippo

Hippo’s cat remains tanned, rested, and ready. Plus, I bet you come around to “General Election Phase” Liz Warren.

Redshirt

I dunno. She’s too far left for me. Any other GOP candidate, I’d vote for GOP.

I’d vote for her, assuming she doesn’t go too far left.

King Hippo

she’s left of me, but in the acceptable range. Plus, she seems like a nice lady.

Redshirt

I’m not saying she’s not. All Democrats I feel the genuinely care for this country and want to do what’s best.

The truth is just in the details.

Unsurprised

If she keeps moving any further right, she’ll become Reagan instead of having just supported him through his two terms. She already has his grasp of economics.

Unsurprised

The woman who lost a battle of wits to Donald Trump?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How does a Biden/Harris ticket strike you? Because that’s what I foresee, and we all know how reliable my predictions are.

Redshirt

That’s plausable.

King Hippo

I guess that would be Karma for Uncle Joe making the ticket after the “clean and well-spoken” thingamabob?

Horatio Cornblower

That’s actually how I see this travesty shaping up. I think it’s the only chance the Dems have.

Naturally they’ll run Buttigieg/Klobuchar and get annihilated.

King Hippo

So, I’m not the only one who finds Mayor Pete a little off-putting? Plus, he’s too small. There will be a “Dukakis in a tank” moment.

Redshirt

I think it may be like Mondale in ’84 or Dole in ’96.

“He’s our guy, we’re gonna win!”
“Its still early. He’ll get momentum.”
“The debates. The debates will be the turning point.”
“I’m cautiously optimistic.”
“I knew this guy would lose”!

Unsurprised

Oh, dude. Trump would destroy him in the debates.

Unsurprised

And that would be hilarious and awesome. The Democrats would deserve it if they do nominate this Log Cabin Republican

SonOfSpam

Prediction that’s 100% accurate: Trump will not debate.

Unsurprised

Why? He’s the P*ts with home field advantage.

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t give a shit who the Dems run, I’ll vote for a raincoat full of raccoons if that’s who they nominate, but this country is a long way from electing a gay President. He’d be a disaster in the general election.

And to be clear I don’t mean that as a compliment to the general population.

Unsurprised

I do. It’s about time we give up any pretense of having two parties and so when they select some right-wing corporate whore they will finally do just that. Especially because once they and down ticket Democrats lose, all the people who have made the Democrats unelectable will, instead of being kicked out on their asses like what should’ve happened after 2016, will only further consolidate power. It’s going to suck, but nothing good will ever happen again in federal politics.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean it’s awful that there is a majority of American voters, IMO, who would go into the booth with the intention of voting for “anyone but the queer.”

There are plenty of legit reasons to not support Mayor Pete, like his working for McKinsey, that he’s pretty much a Republican, like his lack of understanding of black voters, and that he’s likely a Notre Dame fan. But most folks won’t even get to that, because they’ll be freaked out that he’s sexually attracted to men, and therefore if they vote for him it means they’re gay.

Horatio Cornblower

I remembered my password just in time to tell all you guys that there’s something called ‘World Chase Tag’ and I am currently watching it.

Unsurprised

At least I’m getting Christmas Eve off.

herodotus450

She has a sister?
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Unsurprised

She’s in Canada. You wouldn’t know her.

Unsurprised

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Sharkbait

Evening fellow degenerates.

King Hippo

Fucking refs have sucked all the life out of what had been a good hoopsball game. State will have walkons in the game soon. Crew must aspire to an NFL gig.

Gratliff

Someone figured out the blueprint for bringing down Philadelphia

#BREAKING: Wawa announces massive data breach, 'potentially all' locations affected, CEO sayshttps://t.co/5TfMd8FVve

— Action News on 6abc (@6abc) December 19, 2019

Unsurprised
King Hippo

PERFECT

Horatio Cornblower

This is why I use cash to buy my shitty hoagies and root beer.

Brick Meathook

http s://i.postimg.cc/SsDFy0kr/IMG-5066.gif

Gratliff

I have 16 days off starting Saturday. The question is: Do I call in tomorrow?

King Hippo

you’ve been watching the debates, I think that counts as sick note

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Show up high as hell.

King Hippo

hey man, NEVAR go full Hippo…

Gratliff

Jeeeeeeeeeeeesus

You think yang lets his retarded son wear the math pin or would that be cruel

— andrew diap play (@nickmullen) December 20, 2019

Gratliff

lol CNN sucks so bad

Fact check from team @CNNPolitics: @BernieSanders spoke imprecisely when he said the world spends $1.8 trillion on weapons of destruction. "The $1.8 trillion figure represents all global military spending in 2018, not spending on weapons in particular." https://t.co/u3Ns7nOhtw pic.twitter.com/QwlCg0m3ad

— Annie Grayer (@AnnieGrayerCNN) December 20, 2019

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

I will never not be amazed at Yang’s routine of a very good sensible point followed immediately by “THIS IS HOW A THOUSAND DOLLARS MAKES THAT HAPPEN”

Fronkenshteen

Pick 3:
Amari Cooper – (DAK! shoulder owie)
Mike Gallup – (same)
Breshad Perriman- (no Evans or Godwin to soak up best coverage)
Deebo – (3rd passing option on a run first team)
AJ Brown – (rain)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Cooper, Gallup, Perriman

rockingdog

found a funny:
Tips for improving concentration:
-Make a list of tasks.
-Take on one task at a time.
-Take On Me was a fun song.
-Ooh I found the video.

Brick Meathook

http s://i.postimg.cc/XvK6zGPt/IMG-5065.gif

Gratliff

Steyer keeps saying “hWite” and it makes him worse than Trump, easily

King Hippo

he really do make the skin crawl, almost as badly as Bloomberg

Don T

Impeachment is for getting The Prez out. That can only happen with a Senate vote. Any triumphalism now is like to celebrating Marty Schottenheimer’s regular season record.

King Hippo

The GOP is a cult, all we lefties can do is make ’em own it/wear the hair shirt

Unsurprised

We’ve tried this by your logic shit for two decades and look at all it’s gotten us.

Unsurprised

To put it another way: THAT’S THEIR OWN FUCKING SALES PITCH!

Winning no matter what is not a bug, it’s a feature. Sure it’s a cult, but it’s the winning side so get onboard or get run over.

Gratliff

Pelosi banging the gavel was Marmalard huddling up in the 4th quarter of the wild card round

King Hippo

Shitty Wolves on the Plains tonight! ESPN2

Gratliff

I spend a lot of time wishing Bernie didn’t start his largely accurate and justified rants with a soundbite that makes CNN execs high-five eachother

King Hippo

Which is why he won’t/can’t be the nominee. Sen. Warren is 95% of the lefty-ness, but with strategy and presentation.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

at least they got mah good side

Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

Let’s not go that far. Warren is running to the left of Obama in ’08, but compared to most Americans, Bernie is a sentient guillotine, or a centrist in Europe.

King Hippo

I like that “sentient guillotine”

King Hippo

also, his whole shtick is why I think he belongs in the Senate, frames the debate and keeps folks honest.

Horatio Cornblower

He’s not gonna be the nominee because he’s 77 and just had a heart attack. No one’s voting for that guy in the general election.

Well, under ordinary circumstances no one’s voting for that guy: in this election he’s probably get 48% of the vote, including mine.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like the cheeriness of this one. Impeachmintyfreshrecords!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ3BOfapvU4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

How the fuck is Jim Jordan not in jail?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’d think he’d have been scared straight by all the times he witnessed men sexually assaulting each other in the showers.

litre_cola

Ohh Lebron vs Grecian formula 5. This should be a good one. Are all the celebrities out in Milwaukee?

Gratliff

If Sanders somehow pulls this out, the white supremacists that I assume will be running Trump’s campaign will take great joy blasting that pro-palestine soundbite as proof of his antisemitism

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Draft announced Jack Eichel being scratched vs Flyera tonight at 6:57, too late to even be able to switch him out. Bet, meet toilet.

Gratliff

Everything I know about the 2019 Sabres (the last 40 minutes of game time), leads me to believe he is the only professional hockey player on the team

Fronkenshteen

Looks like Larry bird too

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So if there’s no vice president in office, the next in the line of succession would be Nancy Pelosi. Do you think if Diaper Don starts to get worried that the Senate will remove him he’ll have Mike Pence whacked?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Tom Steyer, who has never held a political office, claiming he’s stood up against big oil and yada yada yada and I want a comically sized hook to come from off stage

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tom Steyer is an anagram of “Meet Story” which makes me think his entire life including this presidential campaign is just one long setup for a romantic comedy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s also one for “Smote Trey” which makes me think he really just wants to become president so he can outlaw Phish.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Here’s the rest if anyone else want to play: https://new.wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=tomsteyer&t=500&a=n

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Gratliff

Flyers up 5-0 on the Sabres in the second, and we should probably ban the Atlantic division from the playoffs. They can compete for the wildcard if they want in so bad.

Gratliff

6 goals on 17 shots seems bad

Wakezilla

I mean Boston is really good. I think Tampa will pick it up in January.

I swear, it seems like Buffalo has played every day for the past two weeks.

Gratliff

Could be worn out. Two of them have been deflections off Buffalo players. Just one of those games.

Fronkenshteen

Wife: “Little man needs to go on a diet!”

Me: “Yeah, he’s starting to get a gut on him.”

Thinks (Don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it)

Wife: “It’s all the McDonalds and chocolate…”

Me: [ragesplodes]

Fight: [ensues]

Night: *ruined*

Whiskey: *poured*

Self-loathing: [peaks, dovetailing gorgeously with blood pressure into inevitable heart disease]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My wife wants me to eat less fast food (my pace of once a week seems perfectly fine to me) and the thing that lends her argument credibility is my vehement resistance to even the thought of it.

Gratliff

“Do you want cheese on your whopper?”
“Ye…wait, no.”
*happy wife, confetti, parade, blowjobs from co-eds*

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, speaking of whoppers, I’ll be having my free one tomorrow, probably!

litre_cola

Once a week is totally acceptable. Ya gotta live.

Brick Meathook

“One Whopper, please. Take your time making it, I’ll wait,”

Gratliff

when you go to a restaurant without your wife and son and realize you’re only spending 1/3 the amount of money as usual pic.twitter.com/Dj8drbIc6M

— Garbage McFart (@GarbageMcFart) October 4, 2019

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Gratliff

My cousin posted a photo of himself posing with Andrew Yang at his campus, which would normally have me calling him a ratfucker and making $1000 jokes, but given that his parents are bank exec Hannity stans, it got a sigh of relief from me. The yutes have always leaned more liberal, but I wonder if the age divide is really as deep as it seems.

rockingdog

Nice little cold front coming thru New England…

Brick Meathook

This is Fahrenheit not that goofy Celsius.
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Gratliff

It was -1 here yesterday. Canada is for pussies.

Brick Meathook

Your corpse will take slightly longer to thaw out than mine will before the morgue attendants can enjoy sweet sweet necrophilia during the long and lonely midnight shift. That’s the only difference at this point.

Gratliff

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fahrenheit is a better temperature scale for weather, and I will fight anyone who says differently. 0 is really cold. 100 is really hot.

Celsius having 100 for the boiling point of water is all well and good in a laboratory, but matters fuck-all in regular life.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fahrenheit is fucking stupid. Random British crap. You probably drive on the wrong side of the road.

herodotus450

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Gratliff

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herodotus450

So, who are we impeaching tonight?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let’s toss the GOP a bone and impeach Hillary.

Brick Meathook

Let’s impeach Herbert Hoover, that Depression causing sumbitch.

Gratliff

Who the fuck is cheering Tom Steyer? Get the fuck out.

Beerguyrob

Robert Kraft thinks your opinion shoots blanks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is some groovy shit, man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP5ybvzBFr4

herodotus450

There’s a universe out that started with a band called Spork, and only got Spoon after they broke up.

Don T

Yes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Letting her food get cold. 2/10 still would

herodotus450

The stopped clocks over at r***it have uncovered the fact that, very likely, Scotchy’s Sens will have over $40 Million of their roster scratched or injured or otherwise not playing for the team tonight; basically half the salary cap.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m kind of a big wheel over at the stopped clock factory.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Ishmael Hymen will be making his first start for the Buccaneers this weekend. That is all.

litre_cola

After the game his father and uncles will gather around to make sure he is still intact.

scotchnaut

[makes phone to ear gesture] “Hey Heyman, call me.”

-Ishmael

herodotus450

We’re all hoping for a breakthrough performance

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s just a myth that his first game has to be bloody

Brick Meathook

I wouldn’t mind this so much except as an Angeleno I’m wearing shorts:

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Porky Prime
Dunstan

Saw Gino in concert this year. He’s still great.