So this Christmas thing is staring us right in the face Sunday Night Football Open Thread.

Greetings festive Festive-makers!

It’s your old friend and food guy, yeah right here giving our own Scotchy a much needed holiday respite.

There are some rumours floating about something with a high speed chase, Canadian Royal Mounted Police and DNA evidence but I’m gonna assume it was over imbibing in the Ol’ Holiday Eggnog that leads to my being here rather than our esteemed Northern Ontario brethren.

So how the fuck are you all?

Finished with your holiday shopping? What the fuck are you waiting for? Christmas?

Here in the right house, shit is purchased and we’re ready to get festive like a motherfucker. I’m making a boneless New York strip roast along with roasted garlic mashed potatoes and bourbon, caramel carrots for Christmas Day.

Bourbon, it’s what’s for dinner!

Quick note on the banner image, that’s my world famous mac and cheese that I made last Wednesday for our potluck gathering at work. If you notice the size of it, well yeah, that’s a goddamn beast. I basically quadrupled my regular recipe to feed the whole damn building.

That particular batch of mac and cheese goes as follows.

2 pounds elbow macaroni

5 cups of heavy cream

1 stick (8 tablespoons) of butter

1/2 cup of flour

12 ounces of grated red wax gouda cheese

12 oz grated gruyere cheese

12 oz grated aged extra sharp cheddar

1 1/2 cup of panko breadcrumbs

4 more tablespoons of butter

1/2 tablespoon of salt

1/2 tablespoon of black pepper

1/2 teaspoon of NUTMEG!

Some grated parmigiano reggiano.

Melt the stick of butter, add the flour and make a roux. Add the heavy cream and make a damn bechamel. When thickened slightly start adding handfuls of the gouda and gruyere and over a medium heat make a cheese sauce.

Boil the noodles to the packages instructions.

Get a disposable big ass aluminum pan and dump the noodles in. Pour the cheese sauce over and stir to combine.

Edit: now layer the shredded aged cheddar over the top.

Put the panko breadcrumbs into a pan and add the 4 remaining tablespoons of butter. When the butter has melted, cover the mac and cheese mixture with the buttered breadcrumbs.

Grate the parmigiano reggiano over everything.

Cook in a 375 oven for 45 minutes or until browned and bubbly.

Serve and exalt in the accolades.

 

TO THE GAME!

KC Chiefs vs. Chicago Bears

Kansas City takes a 10-4 record into a slightly balmy (52 and light breeze) Chicago to face the 7-7 Bears. KC is riding the Maholmes Magic and some Mighty Momentum into this meeting.

Here’s the betting info care of CBSSports.

Bears vs. Chiefs spread: Chiefs -7
Bears vs. Chiefs over-under: 44.5 points
Bears vs. Chiefs money line: Chiefs -241, Bears +196
KC: Four straight victories after losing four of six games
CHI: Three-game winning streak snapped in Week 15 against Green Bay

KC looks poised to keep on rolling and the Bears are just playing out the string since the NFC playoff teams are now basically clinched.

Which means…

image via

 

SKOL MOTHERFUCKERS!

Look for Maholmes to keep rolling and I’m expecting a somewhat lackluster appearance by the Bears.

Let’s watch and find out shall we?

Get after it in the comments, yo!

 

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yeah right
yeah right is a fully vaccinated lifelong Vikings fan, food guru and LA Harbor resident with a black belt in profanity.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Murderin’ women are kind of interesting….. from a distance.

theeWeeBabySeamus

For the record, the last woman I had a relationship with was older than myself.
Sadly, she turned out to be a total bitch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s probably not true with you, but it took me around twenty women to figure out I was the common factor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They had a point.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

No, you do have a point.
I’m better off alone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nah. Keep tryin’

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nope. No longer worth the effort. The romance failed. Then I tried to rebuild the friendship. Nope. She didn’t want that either.

Alone is the best option.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not with the same one, dumbshit!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have I gotten an acknowledgement, let alone a thank you for sending her mother a Hanukkah bouquet yet? If you said yes, you’d be mistaken.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Move on.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Close the book and put it out of your mind; you can’t move on when you dwell on it. Take it from Mister Dwell On It.

*Dwell On It on Linkedin.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes. This is correct. But sometimes easier said than done.

TheRevanchist

Very true. Instead of dwelling, do something. Idle hands just make dwelling easier. Take it from someone who dwelled 5 years back in the day. I finally snapped out of it when I started doing stuff again.

/regrets for lost time

ALXMAC

In Honour of theeWeeBabySeamus defeating Sharkbait for the Title in ‘League of Paper Champions’, I’m doing a (self) Request Line of “Songs about younger girls”. Feel free to contribute:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxwAB3SECtc

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, now I’m a little frightened.

No, I didn’t say stop.

TheRevanchist
Viva La Tabula Raza
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

There was no James Brown Hot Tub!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeSwrFKFNFw

theeWeeBabySeamus

True. But Mr Robinson’s was pretty good.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Problematic, he probably didn’t want to share his middle aged spread with the rest of us, and my thanks to him for his consideration.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Thanks for posting this. Both of you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Jerrahbutthurt is fabulous.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

9/10, willing to scoop her out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Clumps!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just woke up from a nap. What the hell happened tonight?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh shit, I won.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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A while back, but it’s still there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Miley Cyrus has let herself go.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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herodotus450

…the chicks…

He’ll go especially well with that girl with the two vaginas.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Another pornhub search.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I actually saw this movie at the base theater at the Karamursel Common Defense Installation (KCDI), a NATO facility in northwest Turkey, about 90 miles SW of Istanbul. My dad was the ops officer for the FLR-9 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AN/FLR-9) antenna there, used for listening in on Soviet communications in the days before satellites took over.
Probably saw this around winter 1972, it took a few months for films to get over there. There was no television, so the base theater moved a lot of movies through. If I recall correctly, there were two movies per week that showed for two days, and three other days where a movie only showed for one day, plus a Saturday matinee with stuff that showed more juvenile fare. I saw a LOT of movies in the early 1970s, it was 25 cents for admission and a giant bag of popcorn was a dime. If I wanted to see an R rated movie, my dad called up the Services guy who ran the base theater, TSgt Bob Feller (how can I possibly remember his name and rank almost 50 years on, I can’t explain), and told him it was cool for him to let me in without an adult. Both my dad and TSgt Feller were pretty cool, back then.
The FLR-9s were placed in a way to encircle the USSR to listen to their phone calls and radio comms, and it was kind of cool for me that I was involved, almost 30 years later, in the project where we disassembled the FLR-9 at San Vito in southern Italy in the late 1990s/early Oughts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and that movie is a great source of gifs.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Sorry, southEAST of Istanbul. Scotch taking it’s toll.

King Hippo

Nagy seems to enjoy punishing Bollo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

It’s glad to see Tunison has found some time to relax.

WCS
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That brings a tear to the eye.

Mistborn Impossible

Reindeer buttholes

King Hippo

there’s a Balls search – reindeer butthole gaping

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wonder if he’s going with any of my suggestions….. he can make an xmas special of pornhub searches and we can gather the family around.

Senor Weaselo

I was wondering who they’d have as Vixen. WORST GRAPHIC EVER.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

Christmas song? It’s about banging an ex-girlfriend on Christmas Eve, so I think it counts:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfAxWtcfDUk

Viva La Tabula Raza

My dad liked this song so much he bought the 45.
Edit: He fucked around a lot on my mom, so maybe that had something to do with it. They’re still married though, 61 years now.

Dunstan

I know many consider it cheesy and sappy, but I have a weakness for such tunes. Here’s another one that music critics will never approve:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5dwksSbD34

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll see your Harry Chapin cheese and raise you a Terry Jacks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tPcc1ftj8E

Dunstan

Well played, sir.

If we’re going with depressing songs about death, I can only respond with Gilbert O’Sullivan:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_P-v1BVQn8

Viva La Tabula Raza

I almost went with Cats in the Cradle, but no actual deaths were involved.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Until it was released.

King Hippo

I just looked it up, and the only Beatle who supported Everton was Paul McCartney. Very disappoint.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Who will be the Last Beatle Standing? My money is on the guy that still gets to bang Barbara Bach.

King Hippo

Bollo sure do love him some quadruple coverage. It’s like a personal challenge.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

except on 4th and 23. He checks it down, then.

King Hippo

here a BLEERGH, there a BLEERGH, everywhere a BLEERGH BLEERGH

King Hippo

BLEERGH loves this fucking game

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, I loved that movie. Junior’s Mopar convertible was the shit.

Senor Weaselo

I’M COMIN’ MAMA!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Another pornhub search.

Senor Weaselo

Well, not the first quarter.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Unfortunately, the parenthetical of this song’s title is still not in effect, but as an avowed atheist with over 50 years of non-believing in my rearview mirror, I still like this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flA5ndOyZbI

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good music is good music.

Gratliff

GO BIRDS

King Hippo

SEA looking a bit more vulnerable now, too.

King Hippo

Does this result lock the 500s into 4 seed? Think it does.

Appreciated that double doink knife twist in Chi****’s gut

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

DOUBLE DOINK! Granted it doesn’t mean as much.

King Hippo

TOO SOON, Abed!! yelled all 500 fans left in the stadium.

Dunstan

I’m seeing double! Four Doinks!

Viva La Tabula Raza

“I see everything twice!!”
—Captain John Yossarian, USAAF

Gratliff

The Cowboys haven’t even left the Linc yet. The buses are still parked outside of it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Just saw the “very disappointed” Jerrah clip. Ha ha, Jerrah, suck dirty stump water through a pygmy blowgun, you entitled cocksucker.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To be fair; he pays cocksucker very well.

Mistborn Impossible

I bet he actually doesn’t.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, they leaked a picture, but I bet the lawyers got paid.

I didn’t say cocksuckers, so I must have meant his son-in-law.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, like 4 more scores from Kelce and I have a shot

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like your self-confidence, but I’m pretty sure Kelce is straight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

Mistborn Impossible

I’m not sure he’s really a Truth Biscuit, but he’s some kind of biscuit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gravy.

Dunstan
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

I don’t know why, but when it comes to posting images on this site, suddenly I have all the technical know-how of my father.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well, I have no friends, so you are still doing okay.

Mistborn Impossible

Open image in new tab -> copy URL -> paste URL here

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let your instincts take over.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

tWBS is destroying me. Sadface.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I didn’t know you were a young woman with daddy issues

/too soon?
//shows self out

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Too late, maybe.

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blaxabbath

Picked up IND defense for my FF championship.

They put up a 30-spot.

King Hippo

NC State produced the guy who ran the two kicks back. YOU’RE WELCOME

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

NC State is a COLLEGE Moose smgdh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I know what they do there….. AND SO DO YOU!!

blaxabbath

Mike Glennon finally found a place in this league?

King Hippo

hard to get good eucalyptus leaves on the road

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At first I read that you got hard with eucalyptus.

It’s going to stay that way.

King Hippo

tuff but FARE

Mistborn Impossible

Mondegreens are always funnier than the original

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And the Rolling Stones listening award goes to…..

jjfozz

Slaughtered in my fanasy super bowl. fuc the word

litre_cola

Imma losing by 75! Still get a couple hundred but 5 would have been nice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Looks like I’m about to be named a fantasy football champion.

STEP ASIDE, HIGH SCHOOL TRACK STATE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Blaxabbath doesn’t like to brag about this but he could track the girl he was stalking from all the way across the state.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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jjfozz

She pumps well

Gratliff

Wonder who Jerrahl will torture Cowboys fans with next. Marty Schottenheimer? I think he’s still alive.

WCS

A WILD MIKE MCCARTHY APPEARS

Sharkbait

Ben McAdoo?

litre_cola

Do you know the radio station that he does his weekly hits on. I need some of that in my life tomorrow morning.

BaldingSpiritually

105.3. It’s a CBS station so you may have to download their app to listen

Mistborn Impossible

Marty was a fantastic coach. They could do worse.

jjfozz

Marty McFly?

blaxabbath

Gotta be Wade Phillips.

Viva La Tabula Raza

didn’t they try that once already?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Jim Tomsula.

King Hippo

OH PLEASE, GOD, YES

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Josh McDaniels.

King Hippo

I will suicide bomb JerralWorld if that happens!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fuck Dallas.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hate the [Redacteds] too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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jjfozz

Wheres is Mr. Cheeseckaey Poster Post guy?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Big “Tony Romo cries in the shower and passes out after the game” energy

Cowboys are stuck in Philly for now, thanks to a plane deemed "not viable" to fly the team home https://t.co/ZlXjz4dQA1

— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) December 23, 2019

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

“The Dallas Cowboys plane, and my first son.”
(opens envelope)
“Things that were deemed ‘not viable’ and we weren’t allowed to take them home.”
(Applause sign comes on.)

Gratliff

A good hell joke right here

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hey! That’s OUR thing!” – the NY Jets

blaxabbath

Jerry did that, didn’t he?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Welp, Bears is shit

King Hippo

APPROPRIATE ENDING IS APPROPRIATE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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jjfozz

I haven’t seen a bunch of bears suck this hard since a visit to a san francisco bathhouse

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Yep.

jjfozz

The last time murder was so blatant in Chicago was Valenine’s Day

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

‘member Airplane!

h

ttps://66.media.tumblr.com/e9c2b28b3942195bb2cdb1cdb3945736/tumblr_p01velLonD1sa11jco1_540.gifv

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s getting really chippy out there.

By that I mean I’m enjoying some chips ‘n’ salsa.

SonOfSpam

That sounds good. Gonna demand my wife run to the store and get that.

Well, that didn’t go well. I am injured.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Put pressure on the wound.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He will not be able to make it until his thumbs heal.

Senor Weaselo

Note to self, learn how to pickle for future ghost/reapers. OH WE GON HURT, CHUH CHUH.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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jjfozz

Oh Christy Canyon. You cost me so much in toilet paper. Well, my parents were paying for all of it.

King Hippo

There have been like 6 BLEERGH in the last minute of play

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

That explains why he’s so angry in the meme

King Hippo

The Bearistocrats!!

jjfozz

Pro hoopsputs me to sleep faster than my wife talking about her …. anything

SonOfSpam

Boyfriends?

jjfozz

those poor fuckers

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

She’s a fun little psycho.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, never stick your knife in….. wait.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I find that show to be massively overrated, but she herself is delightful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I enjoyed it quite a bit…. understanding that it was a comedy.