Your Buffalo/Houston Wild Card Game Open Thread

And all that work in the regular season to eliminate all those lousy teams except for the Eagles, smgdh. Hey, we’re here-let’s make the best of it.

TO THE GAME!

Bills/Texans:

-J.J. Watt is back! The usual recovery time from a torn pec is six months + (depending on severity of course) but he’s a Wonder Warrior and all that. I’m guessing he’s not in game shape but he’ll have an impact because Josh Allen reacts very slowly to collapsing pockets.

-There’ll be an interesting battle between wr Hopkins (68 of his catches have gone for a 1st down or a TD-that’s phenomenal!) and cb White, the Bills shutdown (over-used word but the guy hasn’t given up a TD the whole season) dude. So The Shaun will throw to the other side, right? Welp, it looks as though deepball fella Fuller’s continuing soft tissue ailments will cause him to miss out this week. So we’re looking at the very average Kenny Stills going up against Levi Wallace who, after a rough start to the year, has only given up 7 catches the last four weeks.

-Devin Singletary should have himself a game in this spot. He really underwhelmed the last 3 games he played in (he was supposed to help deliver me a champeenship) but I went back and had a look-they were vs. the Pats, Ravens and Steelers, all top 5 in defending the run. The Texans are in the bottom 5 in that category.

-Prediction Time! If Josh Allen keeps it to two turnovers or less the Bills win, more than that and things get dicey. I’ll say Bills 26 (that’s 2 scores and 4 field goals because multiple busted drives) Texans 20.

Now it’s your turn. Tell me how you think the game will unfold.

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Doktor Zymm

If I could be any rock star, I would probably be Joan Jett

Horatio Cornblower

The ref even waved the kick receiver off when he first tried to throw him the ball.

JustStopDude

The Texans are so fucked. Not just this game but the next few years thanks to allowing a dickhead coach chase away their GM’s and trade away all their draft picks until the next decade….

It’s literally one of the few teams I can see out Brownsing my Browns….

Doktor Zymm

Have they been taking notes on the Redacteds?

Horatio Cornblower

Could be worse, could be the Cowboys with a dickhead GM chasing away any decent coaches, but I guess it’s a case of one potato, two potato, three potatoes, Trent Green.

Gratliff

Out of curiosity, if the player walks away like that, but the ball doesn’t make it to the endzone on its own, that should be a touchdown right? It feels like every other game has a situation they somehow didn’t account for

Horatio Cornblower

You’d think. It would just be a long onsides kick if the kicking team got to it first.

Gratliff

Apparently, they’ll blow it dead in mid-air sometimes, which means it’s a judgement call, which means there will be hilarity at some point

herodotus450

Didn’t know refs could do that, just change their mind without going to a replay. Seems like they should do it more.

Col. Duke LaCross

I wanted that to happen. Fuck common sense, let’s start doing some next level thinking in this country.

King Hippo

at the very least, it was a FORWARD PASS. Just all kinds of wrong.

JustStopDude

That would have been hilarious if the refs didn’t walk that back…

Bills should be a dick and challenge though….

Horatio Cornblower

Wait, I thought I was watching the NFL; how did common sense prevail?

Senor Weaselo

That’s the safe signal.

litre_cola

Then what is the safe word?

Horatio Cornblower

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Also an underrated movie

litre_cola

That was about to cause a riot

Horatio Cornblower

Pretty sure that’s what the ref in the windbreaker and black hat came off of the sideline to say. “We will literally die here if you don’t change that call.”

Gratliff

booooooooooooooooo

Horatio Cornblower

We might see a player punch out a referee here.

Petronel

…dafuq?

Mr. Ayo

WTF

Senor Weaselo

Wait, what?

bk109

Right, a Goodnight to all of ya.. I decided not to risk my sanity watching us lose to the Tits at like 4AM on a Sunday, so… have a good one an’ till tomorrow..Uh… shit.. today! It’s 6mins past midnight 😀 … anyway, ’till later where you can laugh at me (or in the unlikely event we win – for me to lie through my teeth that there was never any doubt) 😀

jjfozz

disappointed.

Gratliff

holee shit

jjfozz

This keeps the pain to a minimum. And makes me not want to kill.
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Mistborn Impossible
Gratliff

I hate the fucking we ready thing so much

litre_cola

Due to current events we feel that Persian food is a great plan.

Doktor Zymm

Certainly a tasty plan

Doktor Zymm

Really Julian Edelman? You want to be the coolest kid in 1992 middle school?

jjfozz

My TV – i love this more than my kids
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Doktor Zymm

Once you go projector you don’t go back

clint greasewood

Is Bill O’Brien in danger?

bk109

Nah, he has dirt on the ownership. Plus he can always hide in his buttchin, and he can’t be fired if no one can find him!

Doktor Zymm

Isn’t his buttchin already occupied by a friendly gerbil?

bk109

Plenty of space there for both…

jjfozz

My couch
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Doktor Zymm

Someone has some Bombay Sapphire in their bar! Also ETCH-A-SKETCH!!!

bk109

HARK! A Mac user!

/me runs to get his pitchfork

Doktor Zymm

Shit, I just realized how awesome it would be to watch this at the Bills bar in Chicago, which doubles as my favorite punk rock whiskey bar that used to be a speakeasy

Mistborn Impossible

Yeah but you would have to hang out with Bills fans

Doktor Zymm

I appreciate their willingness to wear BIlls colored Zubaz in public

Doktor Zymm

Also their willingness to do shots and drink shitty beer and do dumb shit just for kicks

King Hippo

smart letting the clock run

WCS

Nice tackling there, guys.

King Hippo

Holy cats, this a good FITBAW squadron

Col. Duke LaCross

On the other side of all that pain though, I put on a regular sized XL t-shirt today for the first time in 25 years and it fit perfectly. It’s the small victories.

King Hippo

you are deffo an inspiration to me on the weight loss front

litre_cola

Congrats Colonel, now give me 20 laps.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I sent around 30 2X and 3X shirts to my nephew up in Mass (he’s 6-6 250 lbs). Most of them were 60-80 dollar embroidered polos with Pats, Red Sox, and SA Spurs logos that he can wear when coaching the track team, and at least a half dozen barely-worn Brooks Brothers dress shirts he can wear at his HS math teacher job. Anything bigger than XL looks like a tent on me anymore.

litre_cola

At a buddys house (Bills fan) he has 3 girls under the age of 5 who all love Decilitre. They seem to be keeping each other busy. My buddy is not looking forward to the next 15 years….. this is why there is red wine.

Doktor Zymm

Additional selfie modes: A good way to get me to not buy a phone

jjfozz

If I want to share a photo of my awesome couch with you monsters, how can I do it?

litre_cola

Take the pic, go to postimages and get the url

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Local Bills bar ran out of genny cream ale before halftime. Fucking amateur hour over here…

clint greasewood

Gotta get the Labatt’s on tap.

Doktor Zymm

How many times has JJ Watt broken his nose? They totally use cocaine as a topical anesthetic for deviated septum surgery

King Hippo

man, they get this to the half 13-nil?

bk109

Wait, “I made you a soup”, plops can in frame… I’m not sure “make” means what Saquon’s mom thinks it means.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, will new Guy Ritchie movie suck, or not suck?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Suck. Mconahay

bk109

I volunteer one of you to test it out, ’cause I’m still pissed off about his take on the King Arthure lore

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I’m not gonna let this lingering neck injury tell me what to do.” – RTD, getting ready to lift some weights.

Doktor Zymm

If you aren’t working out in a corset and neck brace, you aren’t really working out

litre_cola

If you arent living in a corset you aren’t living.

King Hippo

On the bad side, that ain’t ever getting any better. One the good side, lifetime vicuprofen!

King Hippo

watch how the Bills linebackers keep contain. Very, very disciplined.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You know, you could learn a thing or two by watching them.” – Andy Reid, to an overflowing bowl of chili.

Doktor Zymm

They are the name-brand Tupperware of linebackers!

King Hippo

does allow one to send an extra pass rusher

King Hippo

watch TheShaun’s feet. He rattled.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rattled the way a saber would be if Michael J. Fox were holding it?

/woo hoo stolen joke!

bk109

Nah, just reworked. One of our fellow lunatic assylum inmates here made a joke about pissing about as accurately as if Michael J Fox held it for them 😀 Or was that a sports chat… Either way, at best you adapted an already adapted joke, so no flag on the play 😀

jjfozz

I’m trying to get into the Witcher, but it’s like a low rent game of thrones.

Doktor Zymm

I prefer the Whicher

bk109

Given that GoT wasn’t exactly spectacularly acted or plotted (especially when they ran outta books), it sure is saying something 😀 And before Moose get on my arse about commenting about acting again – please tell me where does Emilia Clarke not look like a community theater reject (Hell, listen to her “act” in GoT and you realize that the only saving grace is that she was ready to get nekkid!) Or perhaps Kit Harrington – aka fake space Russian, I mean Martian, general dude? in a shitty CoD – being his “crowning” acting achievement? Or Sophie Turner’s hilariously shite murder of the X-Men franchise? 😀

jjfozz

Do they roast whole oxen in the Texans stadium?

WCS

It being Texas, more likely some rare, endangered animal.

jjfozz

I heard giraffe tastes like chicken

Doktor Zymm

I bet rhino is beefy

jjfozz

Rhino has got to taste like a combo of kale, fat, shit, and burnt rubber

King Hippo

I am, like, the only person alive who LIKES kale. And I hardly like ANYTHING.

Doktor Zymm

I also enjoy the kale, I have been known to eat it lightly steamed with no sauce

King Hippo

I juice it, or eat in a salad with this excellent pomegranate dressing I found

Doktor Zymm

Nice! I have a really good tahini based dressing I used to use when I actually cooked at home

King Hippo

/Mike Glennon files hate crime charge

jjfozz

No matter how hard I flick my remote, this Booger will not go away

jjfozz

I man crush so hard on Matthew mcconaughey

litre_cola

Pretty sure that guy is sexually fluid so you totally have a chance.

King Hippo

the wife would probably allow it, provided she can oil him up first

Doktor Zymm

Down to boogie

jjfozz

Wait, that dude’s name is Merciless?

litre_cola

Whitney. There is a whole lot going on there.

Doktor Zymm

He’s Emperor of Mongo in his spare timecomment image

King Hippo

Spelled “Mercilus” but great name for a DL. If you can get past Christian name being “Whitney”

WCS

He down.