And all that work in the regular season to eliminate all those lousy teams except for the Eagles, smgdh. Hey, we’re here-let’s make the best of it.
TO THE GAME!
Bills/Texans:
-J.J. Watt is back! The usual recovery time from a torn pec is six months + (depending on severity of course) but he’s a Wonder Warrior and all that. I’m guessing he’s not in game shape but he’ll have an impact because Josh Allen reacts very slowly to collapsing pockets.
-There’ll be an interesting battle between wr Hopkins (68 of his catches have gone for a 1st down or a TD-that’s phenomenal!) and cb White, the Bills shutdown (over-used word but the guy hasn’t given up a TD the whole season) dude. So The Shaun will throw to the other side, right? Welp, it looks as though deepball fella Fuller’s continuing soft tissue ailments will cause him to miss out this week. So we’re looking at the very average Kenny Stills going up against Levi Wallace who, after a rough start to the year, has only given up 7 catches the last four weeks.
-Devin Singletary should have himself a game in this spot. He really underwhelmed the last 3 games he played in (he was supposed to help deliver me a champeenship) but I went back and had a look-they were vs. the Pats, Ravens and Steelers, all top 5 in defending the run. The Texans are in the bottom 5 in that category.
-Prediction Time! If Josh Allen keeps it to two turnovers or less the Bills win, more than that and things get dicey. I’ll say Bills 26 (that’s 2 scores and 4 field goals because multiple busted drives) Texans 20.
Now it’s your turn. Tell me how you think the game will unfold.
Jeebus Tapdancing Christ
Should have punted
That’s the look of a man about to soil himself
yeah, “about to”
Did he give the wrong signal for intentional grounding? If this was golp I would write in about it and expect him to get fined after the game.
I like how they said FGs inside of 50 yards, and then they immediately get out of that range.
4th and 27!
NFL Blitz!
shit, I might even punt
4th and 27!
Scratch that, now it’s 4th and 27!
“Former superbowl referee” – hope he wasn’t planning on doing that again
Josh Allen is a goddamn idiot.
He MIGHT have got hit in the head there
He wouldn’t know
And there’s the crippling sack!
And intentional grounding!
And a 10 second runoff!
lolbills
throw a sluggo here, and you score
I…forgot that Romeo Crennel existed
Romeo and Charlie Weiss, the stunted saplings of hte Belichick coaching tree.
“stunted”
Aww he’s cute
he’s existed for quite a long time, given he’s a sandwich shy of 4 bills
Jovan Belcher forgot Crennel existed too. That blasted little memory hole he had, you know.
Real Mafia::Bills Mafia
La Cosa Nostra::LaBatt’s Cozy Nostril (aka snorting a beer)
The Invisible Hand::The Implied Handy (handjob in the zubaz)
Sleeping With the Fishes::Playing in the Superb Owl
WHY IS FRANK GORE IN THE GAME, YOU SHITHUFFERS!??
Just noticed the Bills have an O-lineman named Spain. I really hope he’s awesome and we can make SO MANY Spanish Inquisition jokes in the near future
I would prefer to make Eliza Doolittle jokes
WVU alumni!
So, this ends with a Bills’ field goal clanking the uprights, huh?
Somewhere, far off in the distance, Scott Norwood sighs.
Nah, Wolfpack Badass Steven Hauschka NEVAR fails!!!
/hides under bed
Damn, fewer yard play, but expected it to be 1 at most
Clearly they have a lot of faith in Josh Allen right now
Jason Peters-esque lead blocking
that was some badass OL play
man, what a play!
JJ Watt, super irritating future spin instructor
could go to Extra Time, this
yesssss precioussss
We’ll take the ball and…I’ll probably fumble, honestly – Brokeback at the coinflip
Ah. The universal balance has been restored.
please run the 2-pointer back
Time to circle the wagons!
The Texans fans here are now talking shit to the Bills fans
It’s like watching to morons dry hump opposite ends of a couch, while shouting insults at each other.
Now you’re straight lying to us. There are no such thing as Texans fans.
I’d take a picture, but I don’t know how much soul is left to steal
Well this has turned into a fun game….yay!
That’s absolutely the right play…FOR ME TO POOP ON
unreal, y’all
The only advantage of having a lagging stream, I get the headsup to pay extra attention by comments like this
Not really. This is the Bills.
My back hurts just watching Watson carry this team
“Watson, come here, I need you.”
-entire Tejans team
How can no one get this?
please don’t show tanktop man again, WWL
2nd team in the 2nd state making moves!
NUUUUUUUUUUK
Greenland?
oopsie doodle
Goddamn Hopkins, where was that shit when my fantasy season had hope
TheAndre is quite good
So Ray Charles song is good for Augusta Master’s TV ad, even though he himself would have been allowed to cross only the servant’s entrance in his day.
Anyone checking on our Reverend? He may be a wee bit stressed.
So obviously Watson is going to lead a scoring drive here (Hopkins?), So the question is–what can Allen do if he’s trailing?
Fumble.
Piddle all over himself
Ok, this made me laugh way too much
Your truck’s tailgate is the new proxy for your penis, guys! If you don’t own a truck with a fancy tailgate, then can you really even call yourself a man? I don’t see how you could
Why are there no vagina proxies?? What can I buy to show the world how awesome my vag is?
I really hope it’s a sweet hot tub
A webcam?
we’re going for metaphor here
A diamond ring
That’s just the clit I think
Designer handbag.
The Cu Chi tunnels are pretty tight
Edsel. You shouldn’t even need to squint your eyes.
Oh hell yes
Explains the truck nutz
Playoff kicks don’t have to hit uprights?
There’s a woman here wearing an Andre Johnson jersey and acting like her son is on the field for Houston.
Can’t decide if I hate her or love her.
I think she’s just really, really committed to a bit.
Someone hide all the sharp objects at Rev’s place…
I’m cool. It’s cool
At least we know Thurman Thomas’s helmet can’t hurt him
Well this is getting interesting
ah wish ah cud quit yeeeeewwwww – Josh Allen on turnovers
Wow Josh Allen must have thought that ball was a Playgirl magazine because he dropped it like he didn’t want anyone to know he had it.
Ok you win
Oh Josh.