Your Buffalo/Houston Wild Card Game Open Thread

And all that work in the regular season to eliminate all those lousy teams except for the Eagles, smgdh. Hey, we’re here-let’s make the best of it.

TO THE GAME!

Bills/Texans:

-J.J. Watt is back! The usual recovery time from a torn pec is six months + (depending on severity of course) but he’s a Wonder Warrior and all that. I’m guessing he’s not in game shape but he’ll have an impact because Josh Allen reacts very slowly to collapsing pockets.

-There’ll be an interesting battle between wr Hopkins (68 of his catches have gone for a 1st down or a TD-that’s phenomenal!) and cb White, the Bills shutdown (over-used word but the guy hasn’t given up a TD the whole season) dude. So The Shaun will throw to the other side, right? Welp, it looks as though deepball fella Fuller’s continuing soft tissue ailments will cause him to miss out this week. So we’re looking at the very average Kenny Stills going up against Levi Wallace who, after a rough start to the year, has only given up 7 catches the last four weeks.

-Devin Singletary should have himself a game in this spot. He really underwhelmed the last 3 games he played in (he was supposed to help deliver me a champeenship) but I went back and had a look-they were vs. the Pats, Ravens and Steelers, all top 5 in defending the run. The Texans are in the bottom 5 in that category.

-Prediction Time! If Josh Allen keeps it to two turnovers or less the Bills win, more than that and things get dicey. I’ll say Bills 26 (that’s 2 scores and 4 field goals because multiple busted drives) Texans 20.

Now it’s your turn. Tell me how you think the game will unfold.

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King Hippo

EVERY THROW is to the boundary. Makes no sense.

Doktor Zymm

It’s his training, to stop the clock. Running up and spiking is hard

Gratliff

It’s like they’re trying to shove identical ends of a magnet into eachother

King Hippo

Christ that’s GOOD

WCS

That was hilarious.

JustStopDude

This is the most hilarious game of the year….

Doktor Zymm

No one can make it with that level of hype on a 58 yarder

Doktor Zymm

Get it inside the 50 we maybe have OT

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Um, which of us has a lag?

Senor Weaselo

In fairness they said within 50.

King Hippo

I’d ordinarily say you have to go for 6 but Brokeback is quite willing to take another 20-yard loss

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game is not going to overtime because neither we nor Josh Allen deserves it.

JustStopDude

Watch as Allen gets them into field goal rangee and then proceeds to lateral a pick six….

Petronel

…damn near right there

King Hippo

BLEEDING KANSAS WOO

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He’s going to Chris Weber this at some point

Old School Zero

His evolutionary chart shows him changing into Uncle Rico in about three years

Old School Zero

There is so much failure here I expect all of the Bills players on the field to be offered jobs in US foreign policy

herodotus450

It’s a free timeout!

Gratliff

An entire postseason’s derp in one half

Mistborn Impossible

How are none of Allen’s boneheaded mistakes actually costing the Bills anything?

King Hippo

Lady and gentleman, I give you the 500s.

Doktor Zymm

That trailing arm…ack

King Hippo

USE THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD, FUCKNUTS

Old School Zero

Galaxy Brain or Dumbass Epilepsy?

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

Doktor Zymm

For fuck

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ibid

JustStopDude

Has Josh Allen ever played football before?!?

King Hippo

He might seriously be retarded, y’all.

Gratliff

Did not know there was an illegal bat penalty until right now

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

NBA doesn’t like them either

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTHtL3NYb4Y

Senor Weaselo

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.

Old School Zero

What.

King Hippo

Illegal bat – but fuck me, saved the game

Mr. Ayo

Again, BWAHAHAHAHA!!

WCS

Almost.

Gratliff

holy shit Josh

Senor Weaselo

That definitely would count as trusting your defense.

Doktor Zymm

HOW DO YOU MISS THE DAY TO NIGHT METAPHOR FOR BUFFALO AND JUST COMMENT ON THE SCHEDULE INSTEAD YOU INANE DUMBSHIT!

WCS

This is where Brokeback fumbles after getting in field goal range.

JustStopDude

Are we watching the NFC East? Does either team want to win this fucking game?!?!

King Hippo

BUF front seven sure has nothing to be ashamed of.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Um, these Bills fans here think they still have a chance. It’s like they haven’t watched Josh Allen the last hour or so.

Gratliff

This is the playoff-caliber derp we’ve all craved

King Hippo

ONE MOAR CHANCE

Senor Weaselo

Short.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

WHO TOLD YOU, oh, you mean the game.

King Hippo

Have to go for it.

herodotus450

(quietly deletes thinkpiece about how this is Josh Allen’s coming out party, a real debutaunte’s ball.)

JustStopDude

I guess Jerry Sandusky’s insults weren’t motivation enough….

King Hippo

This would be emotionally crippling if Brokeback was one of them QUEERS who thinks about stuff

Petronel

Rev wellness check time

King Hippo

As a Donks fan, I been there. Hopefully his family went for a nice walk so he can scare the shit out of the pets/neighbours

The Maestro

Imagine being a fan of the Buffalo Bills.

JustStopDude

/shudders….

King Hippo

and that’s coming from our #ThePauls fan

Mistborn Impossible

LOL

Old School Zero

Josh Allen just went on Wheel of Fish and took What’s In The Box.

Col. Duke LaCross

Holy shit.

JustStopDude

Lol what the fuck was that?!?!?

WCS

The Bills reverting back to the mean.

Senor Weaselo

Maximum Billsing!

Mr. Ayo

BWAHAHAHAHA!!