Your NFC Championship Game Open Thread

The eyes of a nation shift from Kansas City to San Francisco. The tv is changed from CBS to Fox. Mozza stix have been replaced by chicken wings. A glass of scotch that doesn’t need to be topped up is topped up. Balls are scratched. Someone finally notices the huge mustard stain on his t-shirt. A thought is given to exercising and is quickly dismissed. “Japanese threesome” shows up on a search history. All this and more is going on right now! 

TO THE GAME!

Packers/Niners:

-I still maintain that Green Bay is the most nondescript three loss team in ever. How do they win? It seems as though Matt The Flower tossed the keys to the other Aaron (Jones) and he’s the fella that makes the team go. Given that they’re in the champeenship game they must be doing something right. I just don’t know what it is.

-The Green Bay Smith Boys (Za’Darius and Preston) are the only teammates to have 12 or more sacks this year. I guess that’s something.

-On San Fran’s side the combo of Bosa and Ford are legit game-wreckers. The NFL’s average sack rate is 6.5%. When those two are on the field together their sack rate is an incredible 17.3%.

-Funny how Shanahan The Younger is just like the old man in that you couldn’t trust which running back he would go with. By all accounts Mostert had wrestled control of the #1 spot as the season came to a close but then Coleman went off last week. I think this speaks well of coach not embracing a specific strategy going into a game and just going with what works. “MID-GAME ADJUSTMENTS!” Are you listening, Pat Shurmur?

-Prediction Time! Let’s do 28-23, Niners.

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Spur

This feels good. No Massholes, no Rodgers or any asshole teams (Eagles, Steelers, etc).

King Hippo

Two likable quartered backs, good coaches.

Viva La Tabula Raza

John Lynch was a dirty player, though.

SonOfSpam

HE HAD GRIT YOU BLACK RACIST

Covalent Blonde

Red on red! Get ready for the Cherry Bowl!

Gratliff

So next week is the first non-football week, god help us.

SonOfSpam

Some asshole here has forgotten about the Pro Bowl how embarrassing.

Senor Weaselo

There’s always the Pr—yeah I can’t even finish that one.

King Hippo

Finally, a legitimately Superb Owl.

Viva La Tabula Raza

God, I hope it’s better than last year’s. My team won, and I still hated that game.

Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Saleh is a head coach somewhere in 2021.

Gatoraids

Dunno there could be a Patriots physical therapist available

Gatoraids

Leave it to Sherman to burn down Seamus money

Spur

Ended on a Aaron Rodgers interception, I’m so happy right now

Horatio Cornblower

It’s like Favre never left

SonOfSpam

Stanford > Cal

theeWeeBabySeamus

Where’s the band?

Covalent Blonde

Suck my dick!!!!

*Sorry, reflex

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yikes.

rockingdog

Chop wood
Conquer water

LemonJello

FINAL SUDDEN CHANGE !?!

Old School Zero

game blouses

Covalent Blonde

So delicious!

Gratliff

Ahaha it’s always Sherman

Gatoraids

Really miss Mussberger to really sell the hype of a backdoor cover

SonOfSpam

And to perv on Jenn Sterger without showing off his small penis.

King Hippo

One presumes Robert Saleh has a legit horse cock, yeah?

SonOfSpam

I mean if you like terrorist cock

theeWeeBabySeamus

JUST GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO ATTEMPT A FG PLEASE?????

Gratliff

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh you think it’s funny, but I was gonna lay the whole load (phrasing) on the Flyers vs the Pens.
(j/k I don’t bet hockey or baseball)

Gratliff

Reminds me, I’m getting a little sick of the Metro’s bullshit. Flyera would be top 3 in any other division, and instead aren’t even in a playoff spot

Horatio Cornblower

McCarthy isn’t coaching them anymore.

Brocky

Dad: Aw is Rodgers gonna cry?

Me: His eyes are bloodshot, he was crying at halftime

Brocky

I think he has down

SonOfSpam

– casting director, Life Goes On

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, I’m not laughing, YOU’RE LAUGHING!!!

Brocky

Lol I’m leaving that typo

SonOfSpam

Thank you for your service.

/zips up jorts

Horatio Cornblower

Seems a little late for GB to look to establish the run.

Gatoraids

I call this game puberty because it has Green Bay starting to think of being deflowered

Col. Duke LaCross

Mark Chmura approves.

Dunstan

Well, time for some Australian Open tennis!

Senor Weaselo

Some hot Aussie tennis action! Because the court might be on fire.

Dunstan

Unfortunately, Genie Bouchard didn’t qualify, so the action will be less hot.

Brocky

That is one google search I WILL NOT regret. Thanks for that

Dunstan

Here’s a fun tip: she has a twin sister.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like the Packers should have called the timeout immediately, rather than let the 49ers run it down.

King Hippo

they’s all out

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah yes, that explains things.

SonOfSpam

Should’ve called timeout before kickoff.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gould on the field. tWBS’ money is safe.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit. GB just gonna go thru the motions. Buh Bye $300.

King Hippo

gonna end 37-20

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup.

King Hippo

nobody even cared to go after the fumbre

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh well, you can’t take it with you.

Spur

State Farm is going to drop Rodgers for the younger hotter QB, Mahomes.

King Hippo

I mean, “rough trade” outsells “twink” – any ad man will tell ya that.

Senor Weaselo

Today I learned that I do not want a flash mob dance by my family and friends at my wedding. Even if there’s a kickline. Especially if there’s the Macarena.

I was disappointed that the flash mob was not the wait staff wearing top hats, white tails, and sporting canes. We were pulling for Puttin’ on the Ritz!

SonOfSpam

That sounds quite gross and hate-fueling.

King Hippo

I am so very thankful to have eloped, and to NEVAR get married again.

Gratliff

The only good reason for judges to exist

King Hippo

ship captain or GTFO

Redshirt

I saw what was considered dancing at my cousin’s wedding. Its like what was considered geek in high school is now cool.

Horatio Cornblower

Just got back from walking the dog. Did the 49ers do the same thing?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Come on ‘Niners, kick a FG and let GB roll down the field and score 7. You’ll still win and I’ll collect $3600.

Assholes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s like they don’t care about me at all.

SonOfSpam

Santa Clarans are notoriously selfish.

Senor Weaselo

GAMBLOR is a fickle mistress.

Mr. Ayo

What a great review. Will totally work out when the Niners sneeze and gain 3 yards against this tissue grade defense.

Spur

Fuck off LaFlower

King Hippo

The Flower looks SO MAD guyz

SonOfSpam

Canadian mad?
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King Hippo

when the smile doesn’t reach the eyes, eh?

Spur

You think Erin Andrews got a Free Pass to fuck Jimmy G?

SonOfSpam

Her husband’s Jarrett Stoll, so he’s probably forgotten it happened.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Wait, who’s she married to?” – Jarrett Stoll

SonOfSpam

“That’s just sad that he doesn’t remember who the next guy with the paint and grocery shopping on the ninth weekend of hectares.”

– Trent Green

Covalent Blonde

“Feels great, baby!”

rockingdog
Gratliff

I remember in middle school, we had a long term math sub who also happened to be a skater. At some point, he was showing us a skate trick tape and near the end some dude was grinding a wall and fucked up and snapped his spine on it. He ran up to the TV and turned it off real quick and looked at the TV for a minute before turning to us with a “WELL Shouldn’t have shown you that” and it remains one of those great darkly funny moments

King Hippo

POSSIBLY forward pass #2!

Senor Weaselo

Did the Ice Giants just lose even a Bergman point in the last 30 seconds of regulation? That’s kicking it old school!

Brocky

Fuck off aikman green bay is dirty and you know it

King Hippo

Mostert’s rushing yards about the eclipse the amount I am fat

Downfield Matriculator

I have not seen a Raheem cause this much trouble for cheese lovers since Mookie worked at Sal’s Pizzeria

Gratliff

CERO MIEDO
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Spur

Unleash the Kittle!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sternberger: comment image

Jordy Nelson:comment image

It’s like whoever wears #87 for the Packers has to be a poster boy for the Schutzstaffel. I’m kind of surprised neither of these guys chose to wear #88.

Covalent Blonde

First pass of the 2nd half?

King Hippo

yup

Brocky

My dad is falling asleep, the wood crashing in the geico commercials woke him up

rockingdog

LOL

King Hippo

Backdoor cover odds intensify

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, I need to go back and check the live lines, if any.

theeWeeBabySeamus

+14.5 +1200

What the hell. Might be worth a few

Downfield Matriculator

– A.A. Ron, walking through the Castro

rockingdog

Shit I miss San Francisco
Have some good memories listening to Kendrick while riding the BART to the city to go party with friends and crash on the couch….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-48u_uWMHY

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think you missed an “H” there champ.

SonOfSpam

Dude, it ain’t Shan Francisco unless you’re Sean Connery.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

rockingdog
Covalent Blonde

Sketchfest is awesome! I got to see my favorite Rifftrax there!

Gratliff

Kendrick didn’t get big til my 30’s and now I feel like the actual old fuckers who inhabit this thread

King Hippo

/waves HAI

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, we might be old, but very few of us still fuck.

Covalent Blonde

*Is an old fucker, just works too much to be here as much as I would like to be

SonOfSpam

They’re gonna false start for 12 minutes.

LemonJello

How do you know what goes on in the Presidential Bedroom?

SonOfSpam

There has not been a second person in the Presidential Bedroom in three years.

LemonJello

And your point is???

rockingdog

LOL

Senor Weaselo

There’s normally not even a first, unless yo’re talking about the one in Florida.

Downfield Matriculator

So why punt this? GB far more likely to block a punt than stop Mostert

theeWeeBabySeamus

Trying not to show them up mebbe?

SonOfSpam

Prolly the right call, but disappointing.

Brick Meathook

I believe Trainspotting is still the only Ewan McGregor movie I’ve ever seen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You haven’t seen any of the Star Wars abortions I mean prequels?

Brick Meathook

Nope, and I worked on one of them.

SonOfSpam

“Giving young Anakin massages” is not really working on the movies.

SonOfSpam

Abortions would be more efficient with a light saber.

Gratliff

Legit didn’t know they made a trainspotting sequel why did they make a trainspotting sequel

Mr. Ayo

Wait, what? That’s such a terrible decision.

Gratliff
Brick Meathook

In the sequel they graduate from heroin to . . . what comes after heroin?

Gratliff

Me posting videos of your work
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_XbtYfrNYI

King Hippo

regret?

Brick Meathook

Space coke

Dunstan

I only watched the first half hour or so of Trainspotting, but I just assumed they all died of overdoses in the end.

Gratliff

The idea of a bunch of heroin addicts living long enough to hook up for a big reunion 21 years later is wilder than anything in the prequel trilogy

Viva La Tabula Raza

Coming soon: Sequel to Requiem for a Dream.

King Hippo

/sphincters can nae longer handle ass to ass!

Gratliff

Everyone just happy to be able to type Ewan McGregor in 2020 without him being dead
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King Hippo

I mean, I don’t really care if he dies. Fine with it either way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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