NFL Noise:
- It looks like Cam Newton is staying in Carolina.
- Rapoport reports that new head coach Matt Rhule would prefer to start the season with Newton under center.
- There may be a strategy to draft Newton’s eventual replacement, but for right now it’s better for the organization to keep Newton & avoid the dead-cap hit by offloading him.
- Because nothing makes sense anymore, the Giants are “open” to trading their first-round, 4th-overall pick.
- The working theory is that because the Giants already have a QB & RB, they can trade with someone who desperately wants one of either & needs to move up in the draft.
- But because it’s the Giants, the fear is that they will end up picking whomever Peter King most recently had chili with.
- If the league eventually adds a 17th game to the schedule, it will likely be an interconference game.
- A likely conversation to come up at today’s next CBA session in New York on Wednesday.
- Using the NFL’s scheduling formula, that game would probably be a team from one of the other three divisions in the opposing conference that finished in the same position during the prior year.
Don’t forget – there’s another Democratic debate tonight! 8:00PM ET on all your CBS stations.
https://gfycat.com/viciouscookedamericanindianhorse-television-animation-special-1080p
There are seven qualified candidates:
- Former Vice President Joe Biden
- Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg
- Former South Bend, Indiana, Mayor Pete Buttigieg
- Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar
- Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren
- Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders
- Businessman Tom Steyer
Based on how the last one went, the opponents have been pre-determined:
- Warren vs. Bloomberg
- Buttigieg vs. Klobuchar
- Sanders vs. Bloomberg
- Bloomberg vs. Steyer
- Joe Biden vs. Joe Biden
The over/under at Trump tweets about the debate is 16.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL: (all Canadian teams games are regionally blocked)
- Blackhawks at Blues – 8:00PM | NBCSN
- Florida at Arizona – 9:00PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Hornets at pacers – 7:00Pm | Sportsnet1
- Bucks at Raptors – 7:30PM | TNT / TSN
- Pelicans at Lakers – 10:00PM | TNT / TSN3
- Kings at Warriors – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
- NCAA:
- Kentucky at Texas A&M – 7:00PM | ESPN
- Iowa at Michigan State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- NC State at UNCheat – 9:00PM | ESPN
- Texas Tech at Oklahoma – 9:00PM | ESPN2
- Futbol:
- CONCACAF Champions League Soccer:
- Atlanta United vs. Motagua – 8:00PM | FS1
- CONCACAF Champions League Soccer:
If y’all haven’t killed yourselves over the election yet, I’ll see you again tomorrow night.
@Hippo, I have figured out the Wolven sort’s roundball problem methinks. We’re a team that wants to run and push tempo. We’re pretty good at it when we have fresh legs. But we’re very poorly conditioned for that style. No stamina. It tires us out. So then we make bad decisions on both ends. Bad defense, bad movement on offense, bad lazy passing, jacking up the heave rather than running a set offense.
Always seems to happen around the 13-10 minute mark. We become a step too slow.
But at least Wake beat Duke.
I’m reading a book about the Battle of Chancellorsville. Stonewall Jackson has already been shot by his own troops but Fighting Joe Hooker hasn’t been clocked in the head with a wooden post yet.
Go back to your debate I’ll tell you how it ends.
I once read a book about the USSR’s experiences during World War II, and the ending was pretty crazy when Led Zeppelin invaded Berlin in 1945 and John Paul Jones personally broke Hitler’s neck.
Wow, that’s like when Sonny & Cher napalmed that Vietnamese girl.
Don’t forget… they got her babe.
That last part was revealing:
Steyer, Biden and Buttigieg are personable and approachable.
Sanders and Warren are on a script.
Klobuchar was about 15 seconds away from talking about why she has a onion on her belt, which was the style at the time.
And I’m pretty certain Bloomberg was asleep when they asked the question.
Agreed. I thought Steyer did pretty well. It seems the Democratic Party doesn’t want him there. Just like Bernie.
TRUE FACT: Klobuchar still refers to Wisconsin as “Morganville,” which was the style at the time.
Mayor Bloomberg’s quote was inspiring. INSPIRING FOR ME TO POOP ON.
“My motto is from Nelson Mandela. He famously said ‘GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!'”
Timon: “Nothing, what’s a motto with you?”
Never read that play. Shakespeare was quite the wit.
I mean, it’s technically Shakespeare I was quoting… Hamlet with lions counts, right?
Klobuchar has one long as motto.
My biggest misconception: I only do anal.
My motto: I like big butts and I cannot lie.
-Not Hank Azaria
Why does this website ask me for permission to use cookies every day?
Also, why does this website use cookies? To count dick jokes? Have you ever read a dick joke here? How about a heavily photoshopped picture of a woman with a gigantic ass? Oh you’ve seen that oh yes you have. You fucking Russian dipshit. Go eat cabbage in your poorly made track suit and wolf dog sneakers in your gray cabbage filled concrete block apartment with no heat and the smell of boiled cabbage and cabbage filth.
Someone’s just BEGGING to get re-banned. Your insubordination shan’t be tolerated much longer.
Well spank my ass and call me Sally!
You still owe me 10 bucks from last time.
Only Brick Meathook can ban Brick Meathook.
And I’ll do it, goddammit.
Oh I believe you. You have the power, the will, and the ovaries.
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye8mB6VsUHw
Hey, just because I’m reading Fables now after playing The Wolf Among Us doesn’t mean I’m a wolf dog. Just the Big Bad Wolf.
The front page isn’t handling the authentication correctly. It doesn’t identity that you’ve been here before.
Words you live by:
Biden: Poontang
**a Trans Am roars in the distance**
“Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy”
“You have two groups that thinks God gave them the same piece of land. So the answer is you divide it up.”
Yeah, screw God! What does He know?!
This, but sincerely
If he’s so smart, why did he need 10 commandments instead of just 1?
*Originally 15
Also why did he spell it Yehova originally? Didn’t he know that the letter ‘J’ was going to be invented a few thousand years later?
“Yeah!” – Henry Jones II
“Screw God” is the Weird Al version of the XTC song.
LET’S SEE IF I GET DRUNK ENOUGH TO WRITE IT.
Hotdish mention!
That’s pretty midwest right there…
HOT DISH.
Drink!
(I already am)
I love Sanders’ take on Palestinians and it is absolutely gonna fuck him sideways in this country
There are, in my opinion, two actually viable solutions. One is a three-state solution in which nobody gets Jerusalem, which becomes a free and independent city-state.
The other is anthropological omnicide—all of humanity dies. I fear that this is the more likely option.
That’s a great idea!
To clarify, I’m talking about the first one…
This election cycle is a nice microcosm to why I don’t go Democractic; because they always snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
A Democrat can walk into a bar the day before Valentine’s Day holding a bag of money and their book entitled “Eleven Different Paths to the G-Spot” and they’ll still leave the bar with no one.
So so true.
Part of the problem is part of the reason we are who we are; namely, Democrats think through things and look at all different angles, usually to a ridiculous degree. It results in changing allegiances, changing ideas, and inconsistent arguments. In general, I think that’s a good thing. However, it’s easier to win elections if your voters agree to “HURR DURR HER E-MAILS AND ABORTIONS AND MAGA”
Or you can nominate a candidate so awful that she loses to Donald Trump.
By negative 3 million votes!
2020s will perform even worse, watch
Pete gonna have to execute Bernie if he doesn’t stop listing the CIA coups
Bernie: Have you tried a good Ropa Vieja? The Cubans do good things!
How do you control a disease?
Democrats: Throw money at it!
C’mon…it takes money, and the GOP is all too eager to pull money from important scientific shit like this. So yeah, money is part of the solution, just like it is with the military.
Part of. They didn’t say anything about the other part.
Money = smart science guys + well-equipped facilities. Their main point is that Trump did away with those specific positions and reallocated all kinds o’ cash for a border wall.
True
So you want BIG GOVERNMENT to tell you how to fight a disease!?
https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-cuts-programs-responsible-for-fighting-coronavirus-2020-2
Yeah, it’s probably too much to ask for to have a non-stupidasshole government.
Biden is trying to out-crankypants Bernie.
But what about the Tecatevirus? And then the Modelovirus?
Where’s the leadership??
Better Call Saul had the sweet Modelo producto placemente
Would prefer Bohemiavirus. You die more smoothly.
I am genuinely surprised he hasn’t blamed the Coronavirus on Mexico for that reason.
I would bet your life savings he at least asked about whether it came from Mexico because of the name.
At this point, our only hope is a Contested Convention.
Help us Superdelegates, you’re our only hope.
Even then, I wouldn’t give anyone more than a 20% shot against Herr Fuhrer now.
If its Bernie, its 5% and dropping fast. I wouldn’t vote for him and I’m one of the sons of bitches they need to pull off this miracle.
Cancel the Olympiad, I’m sure that will be great for my 401k. Can I just get it all in Bitcoin now?
Olympics are still on, but fully nude and everyone is sanitized before the event.
And the only event is women’s volleyball wrestling. Not a typo.
no beach curling??
Clam surfing.
Bernie and Warren: Too left to get elected
Klobuchar: That haircut won’t win votes.
Steyer: Speaks sense but no one cares.
Bloomberg: Should run as an Independent instead of Democrat.
Biden: Fuck all y’all! YEE HAW!
Buttigieg: Will America really elect a gay man?
Fuck all y’all is good enough for me. Is hopeless, though.
Bernie: Way too left
Warren: Too left and not authentic. Acts entitled.
Klobuchar: Too unknown.
Steyer: Sanity left this election a long time ago.
Bloomberg: What Trump would’ve been if he didn’t pull the racist card.
Biden: Too damaged goods.
Buttigieg: If he wasn’t homosexual, he’d be elected in a walkover.
Yup
Bootyjudge is smart and has the right disposition, but I don’t think his biggest negative is what body part he prefers to gobble, rather the fact that his experience in politics is that of a smallish city mayor. Plus, he would be the youngest-ever prez by 3-4 years. Combine his age and inexperience and that’s a pretty big negative.
I would have no problem voting for him. I think the rural US would.
rurals ain’t voting Dem no matter what, they’d rather starve from Herr Fuhrer’s tariffs than see any rights for wimmen, lazy blacks, or daggum queers smh
I need laundry to finish so I can go the fuck to bed. Western democracy is beyond ded.
Holy shit that Biden cut off
“Mr. Vice President, I’ve had enough of your shit, sir. Let’s go to break.”
Maybe it’s the residual trade deadline smell in the air, but I think it would be vastly more entertaining, and that’s what this is really about, isn’t it?, if the political parties could trade candidates, reps, and senators back and forth. Include some future pork barrel considerations to sweeten the deal.
Gotta think being against marijuana legalization is disqualifying at this point. You’ll lose states on that alone.
Klobuchar, Buttigieg and Biden needs to go backstage, draw straws and the winner come back alone as the lone Moderate Democratic candidate. The other two can thumb-wrestle for Vice President.
Ah, the legendary Redshirt-Douglass debate format.
All cities need naked cowboys.
I mean he does franchise…
Evening lizard people.
THESE AMERICAN PEOPLE I CALL THEM LONDONERS IN SWEENEY TODD BECAUSE WE ALL DESERVE TO DIE.
please to banner!
Goddamn, who openly booed reparations at a Dem debate? We’re definitely in the South now.
I heard Boooourn Whitey
Now how on. Its the South, they may not know what that fancy word means.
probably thought they meant miscegeneation
Biden: Have you seen me do The Hustle?
He needs to go full The Onion and blast some Foghat
I like Biden’s Lemme Speak Dammits
Bernie thinks everything needs to be Universal.
I wonder if he prefers the Harry Potter ride or the tram tour…
#TooBourgeois
Uncle Dick in the Deerstand?
I am afraid to look that up in urbandictionary.
Is it sexist that’s it’s called The Boyfriend Loophole?
Cismalepartner Loophole?
Girls can buy AK47s too!
Be nice. That’s the first I’ve ever used “cis” in a sentence (spoken and written) and I still don’t understand what it means.
Me neither. I have already ranted to my kid at State that I do not recognize calling a singular person “they” and never will. GRAMMAR IS WELL IMPORTANT.
“cis” is short for “cissy” you homo
This is why we need shock collars for debates. You go over your limit or speak out of turn? You get shocked.
We can has bipartisan agreement there.
This is deffo going back to Democratic Party roots. The one I knew growing up, that nominated Fritz Mondale and Michael Dukakis.
The Golden Years?
oh God, but at least we had nominal majorities in Congress then. America is sooooooo fucked.
You bet!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRD0ghlFSgk
Keep them away from tanks and lock the revolving doors and you’re made in the rain.
/just watched the last 10 minutes of this debate
How can anyone possibly think that this is a debate of ideas? Everyone is screeching at one another and trying to nail their sound bite.
Debates are pointless.
Everybody has lost they goddamned mind, because they realize Herr Fuhrer is a shoo-in to be re-elected now.
Somebody actually let this asshole run a major world city. And before that…it was that goddamned ghoul Giuliani.
NO NYC FOLK IS ALLOWED TO MOCK THE SOUTH NO MOAR
“Lets talk about the math!”
Andrew Yang just threw his TV out the window.
Could you vote for Biden, Magical Pony?
Whos are the Libertarian Party and Constitution Party nominees?
probably someone who fits our anti-pants creed
Michael Bloomberg: “You looked back my whole life and you’ve only found three sexual harassments!”
OJ Simpson: “You looked back my whole life and you’ve only found two dead bodies!”
Judas Iscariot: “You looked back my whole life and you’ve only found one betrayed Son of God!”
To be fair, it was only 40 years. He’s easily older than 40.
Bill Cosby: “I asked you not to look back on my life. Now, sleep.”
Ron Jeremy: “Look back while I finish.”
Senator, you’re an asshole. Can you explain why?
??
KILL IT!
“I’m be training for this job all my life,” he said while missing the live camera.
Who let Trent Green on the debate dias?
It’s really sad. – Trent Green, microwaving his alarm clock
-Tim Tebow
So Bernie Sanders’ Definition of Good and Evil is
Net Worth less than $999,999,999.99? Capable of Good.
Net Worth greater than $1,000,000,000.00? Irredemabily Evil.
I may get some downvotes, but I cannot support a man that considers Donald J. Trump capable of good.
Hee hee hee. You got my upvote.
Humor is about subverting expectations, and this is a brilliant example of exactly that.
Did anyone else catch Bloomberg entering the stage with his head down like he’s pouting?
I’m turning it to see which candidate will be the one who snaps and screams at Bernie that he’s handing the election to Trump if he wins the nomination in a rant like Dale’s rant to Bill in “King of the Hill”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsV4CBOGidg
Fuck it, can we not just nominate Hank?
Hill/Dauterive ’20
Vote American and American Accessories
/also remember to deploy the pocket sand
“If you think Jesus was white, you don’t get to have an opinion on gun control.”
-Rory Scovel
“hair like sheep’s wool?” Sure sounds like a proper honky to me!!
With respect to the Jizziants-the skinny out there is that there are a number of teams that are jockeying for qb’s and New York would benefit from a tradedown so that they can get an OL and an impact Edge defender. Both positions are weaknesses for the team and this year’s crop is deep at those two spots. The onion belt in the ointment is that 69 (goddamn it!) year-old GM Dave Gettleman has never, ever traded down in his entire career. Fuckballs!
I may watch the debate tonight. Sometimes you get a hankering for a good old fashioned train wreck.
Watch your speed, Casey Jones.
if it wasn’t a Party (and country) that I care about very much being ripped apart? I could enjoy the car crash, too.
/alas I will watch the 3-14 Tarholes beat the monkeyfuck out of my beloved Shitty Wolves instead
//FUCK RIGHT OFF, Darkest Timeline
Whaaa? UNC ain’t blowing out anyone this year.
/their last win? Beating us by 10 on our home floor.
//this would be a “reverse Les Robinson” – my freshman year at State, we randomly beat U*NC, lost like 8 games in a row, then randomly beat them (with Dean Smith coaching no less) again, at their place
///Les Robinson was coach all 4 years I was at NC State, never once did we win a single ACCT game, nor so much as make ONE LOUSY FUCKING NIT. We did, however, manage to lose to Campbell twice, and once to a Florida International team (by double figures) that was dead last in RPI. They were like 1-24.
Wolfers are one of last 4 in according to bald yakking dude I just saw. So there’s that.
yep, that will #FadeToBlack after tonite’s loss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEQnzs8wl6E
If everyone doesn’t gang up on Sanders, they should just go home.