Your “Running Out Of Topics” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes:

  • The Cowboys, since there’s nothing else to do, have started contract negotiations with Dak Prescott.  
    • The mavens at NFL Network seem to think the sticking point will be about duration rather than compensation.
      • It’s rumoured that Dak wants a four-year deal so he can hit the market again while still in his prime.
    • The contract rumours also point to Dallas offering $33 million per year with $105 million guaranteed.
  • Ravens president Dick Cass is the first team official league-wide to come out & admit OTAs may not happen.
    • Via the team’s website, he added, “I hope I’m wrong. I’m hoping we can get some players in [the facility] in June, but I’m sort of doubtful of that.”
    • He’s predicting that training camp is the date most teams should reasonably target for getting players in the door.

Stealing from Crimebeat! – civil courts edition:

  • Tom Brady files trademark application for ‘TB x TB’  
    • The trademark is sought for commercial use, including on t-shirts, pants, shorts, sweatshirts, sweaters, jerseys, sleepwear, athletic tops and bottoms, and headwear.
    • Brady filed the trademark application the same day it was announced he was joining the Bucs.
      • ESPN notes this was his second trademark application, as Brady had previously filed a trademark request for the phrase “Tom Terrific” in June of last year but was denied because the USPTO stated, “TOM TERRIFIC points uniquely and unmistakably to the identification of Tom Seaver and the fame of Tom Seaver as “Tom Terrific” is such that a connection between Mr. Seaver and the applied-for goods is presumed.”
        • So, another NY team not named the Jets was able to beat Brady.
  • Lamar Jackson sues Amazon over unlicensed apparel sold by third parties.
    • He has sued in federal court, because – like with Brady – it involves the US Patent & Trademark office.
    • According to ESPN, Jackson has asked for “the court to require Amazon to count sales it generated from merchandise that features Jackson’s name, image or likeness and ban the website from offering such items without authorization,” according to the lawsuit.
      • Jackson is also looking for additional damages that he feels “Amazon inflicted upon him and his company.”
  • 49ers agree to settle mobility disability case for $24 million.
    • It involves access to the stadium from the parking & transit areas.
      • Specifically, the lawsuit alleged that the defendants “violated state and federal disability access laws by failing to make Levi’s Stadium, the parking lots, pedestrian right of way, and shuttles that serve it, as well as the ticketing and other services Defendants provide to the public, readily accessible to individuals with mobility disabilities and their non-disabled companions.”
    • Florio makes sure to point out that each person who submitted a claim will receive up to $4000, but the lawyers will get $13.4 million.
    • The also had to publish a public notice on their website & social media:

https://twitter.com/49ers/status/1243245118179536896


In lieu of today’s “Good dog” segment, may I present to you Ms. Lynda Carter.

Yep, that’s the good stuff.


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 8:30 PM | NBC / City
    • When a prank goes disastrously awry, things at the Nine-Nine take a distinctly Agatha Christie turn.
  • Classic NHL:
    • 8:00PM | Sportsnet
      • 1989 Stanley Cup Final – Flames/Canadiens Game #6
  • Classic MLB Baseball
    • 7:00 PM | ESPNCLS
      • Los Angeles at New York Yankees in Game 6 of the 1977 World Series. The Yanks won 8-4 to clinch the Series.
    • 10:00PM | Sportsnet
      • Blue Jays Classic – 1992 World Series Game #1
  • Top Chef – 10:00 PM | BRAVO
    • After an exciting Top Chef All Stars LA Season 17 premiere, the cheftestants look to honor the late, great Pulitzer-Prize winning food critic Jonathan Gold.
      • Reminder – both Padma & Gail will be there.

So, there’s plenty to discuss.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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litre_cola

Chocolate chips are an underrated stoner snack.

Mr. Ayo
Brick Meathook
yeah right

My hands are so goddamn dry you could strike a match on my palm.

Brick Meathook

There was a cold dry Santa Ana blowing today.

Mr. Ayo

So we going to postpone the andjay?

Brick Meathook
WCS

Don’t forget Dusty Hill is Hank Hill’s cousin.

Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

That’s some serious gears. Naval usage I assume?

Gratliff

I have yet to hear one compelling argument for saving the cruise industry. We should let it die and torpedo the ships just to be safe.

ALXMAC

They don’t make 3 min jingles like this anymore:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2ugQ190hkc

Brick Meathook
Viva La Tabula Raza

Sprang for the 5 bucks on Amazon, although I think it’s “free” on Netflix. Highly recommend even though I have only watched the first 30 minutes of 90. I’ve loved these guys since before I even moved from California to TX in 1976. Especially love their 1970s output over the 1980s MTV synth stuff that made them bazillionaires. Watch it if you have 90 moments and also dig the blues with a nudge and a wink. A-HAOW-HAOW-HAOW.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNkb8be3wlA
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9015306/

Brick Meathook

Jesus just left Chicago

ALXMAC

Haven’t seen the doc, but what got me is that they went from a clean cut band in the era to ‘Let’s do the beards as a thing’.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Worth watching even if you are not an avid fan.

ALXMAC

I’m more of a nostalgic fan but thank you for the rec.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Most interesting thing to me is that I’ve really only ever heard Billy Gibbons in interviews etc. Both Frank Beard and Dusty Hill sound like complete hillbillies, even though I don’t think they end up sounding like total morons in this, just hicks. I think Billy Gibbons’ dad was the conductor of the Houston Philharmonic at some point, which would at least give him some musical pedigree.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Holy fuck, I’m now 2/3rds in, and love it even more. This fucking show is definiitely worth every penny. BUY IT NOW!

litre_cola

One of the best I have seen in a while

litre_cola

This doco was great. Frank Beard really made doing heroin look like a good time.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Can I pick a game from the NFL vault and we do that as a Sunday game thread? I do love NFL history so I’m willing to do random shit like season retrospectives.

You can also watch me live stream as I do too much sherm and nearly cut my ear off.

Brick Meathook

Super Bowl where the [*Redacted] s beat the Broncos almost entirely in the 2nd quarter. I was at the NFC Championship game at RFK when they beat the Vikings. This, of course, was the Jack Kent Cooke / Joe Gibbs [*Redacted] s (note: I fucked a nice Christian girl (and she was in fact a nice Christian girl ) who had attended the same private Christian academy as Joe Gibbs son. I went to a private Catholic prep school and later learned I loved the Jews so who was I to complain).

ALXMAC

That’s kinda specific; I thought we were supposed to ask Buddy which game he would pick but it’s wide open now

yeah right

I don’t need to see my team fail at the 1 yard again.

Brick Meathook

I saw that in person at that corner of the field.

Brick Meathook

Also, I thought Buddy said “Can we pick a game . . .” He didn’t say that. I completely misunderstood the question.

clint greasewood

Just Lurking
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ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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BeylesMuse

I don’t want to interfere with the cynicism but here’s a quote I’v come across the last couple days. Enjoy as you may:

She had quite forgotten the August afternoon only a little more than a year ago, when they had sat alone out on the grass beneath the maples, watching the thunderstorm sweep up the river valley toward them, and death had become the topic. And Port had said, “Death is always on the way, but the fact that you don’t know when it will arrive seems to take away from the finiteness of life. It’s that terrible precision that we hate so much. But because we don’t know, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet, everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that’s so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless.”
(Paul Bowles,The Sheltering Sky)

BeylesMuse

Long time God-damned lurker here from north of the medicine line. Thanks for having me (thought apologies to Moose and Deci for being from Edmonton.

ballsofsteelandfury

Edmonton!!

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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WCS

SURF”S UP BRO

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least windshield wipers still work.

Unsurprised

FUCK

Viva La Tabula Raza

“That’s a pretty expansive statement.”
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To paraphrase Christian Slater at the front of True Romance, “I’m not gay, but if I had to fuck a guy, I’d fuck Daniel Craig.”

I know I have drunkenly recommended it here before, but while you are confined, please watch Layer Cake and see why he got chose as the latest Bond back then. Fooking brilliant film. Plus, Colm Meaney (ST:TNG’s Chief O’Brien) turn as a total hard man was fucking great.

Don T

Everybody was freekin osom in The Commitments. Even my father liked that pic.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s Seamus and I in the poker room. Send help

Horatio Cornblower

Never mind, we’ve abandoned ship

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Brick Meathook

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, I may say it tomorrow . . .

I no longer know the difference between the symptoms of COVID-19 and the symptoms of an alcoholic shut-in.

God bless you all, you wonderful tiny little people. When I’ve explosively spewed the last drop of frothy blood out my own diarrhea-shattered-asshole, I’ll think kindly of you.

Horatio Cornblower

Pretty sure you may have Ebola

BC Dick

I don’t know. Maybe just gentler wiping is needed.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t talk much all day, and when I do make or take a phone call, since I haven’t been talking all day, I usually have to clear my throat. I wonder if the folks I’m talking to think I’m infected.

Dunstan

One day last week I woke up with a headache, along with my usual morning coughing and general hatred of life. I started to get concerned and then realized, “no, you idiot, you just drank a bottle and a half of wine last night. Drink some water and take a Tylenol and shut the fuck up.”

For similar reasons I am afraid to smoke a cigar though I am sorely tempted. I just know the inevitable cough or two will freak me out.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Zoey Extraordinary Playlist is not a terrible show. One thing that I like about it is that the main character doesn’t actually recognize a lot of the songs.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So every time I’ve been out for supplies in the last month, I can never find any hand sanitizer because same reason as toilet paper and eggs, I guess. In the interim, I am giving my hands a small blast of this whenever I feel it is appropriate. Not overdoing it, believe me. And I don’t plan on taking it internally, like some kind of half-ass malaria prevention aquarium cleaner. Probably not the best solution, and I am sure that COVIDFEFE-19 is part of the 00.01 % of bacteria and viruses that it doesn’t kill, but I do feel vaguely safer using it. My hands smell funny, though. comment image

Brick Meathook

use gasoline

Horatio Cornblower

Have you heard of soap?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, but it’s hard to try and disinfect some things with a bar of Irish Spring. I received 3 of these in the mail today and they all got spritzed and washed with Palmolive anit-bact dish soap in the sink as well.comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Watching ‘Top Chef’ while shoveling Doritos into my gaping maw.

Quarantine rules.

BC Dick

Good call. I am doing the same while eating chips shoved into a dip I crafted from mayonnaise and expired thousand island dressing.

Dunstan

So does Gail Simmons.

(And yeah, sure, Padma too. But my heart belongs to Gail.)

Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

I’m reminded of this tune

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FmPg4lrBKc

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BC Dick

We’re believing China’s numbers now?

Unsurprised

Like we’re not also fudging the numbers. But given the way the two countries have responded, there is no doubt that the U.S. will be hit the worst in terms of sheer numbers and per capita when this is all over.

BC Dick

And if anyone in China disagrees with that, they’ll disappear.

Viva La Tabula Raza

We’re not fudging the numbers.
We’re just making them up out of whole cloth.
No one really knows how many have been exposed. I’d guess it’s 10 times the reported number. And i would guess that’s a conservative estimate.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

when gaping goes TWO FAR

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This comment is so good it is prolapsing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Smart players use their head.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Hugh Grant is an idiot

BC Dick

He just likes his gals with a big more substance under their plaid skirts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Unfortunately, soul-less.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Fortunately

Viva La Tabula Raza

Different strokes, I reckon.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

She is on my board for a draft we might end up doing sometime in the near future.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn good cone drill time.

BC Dick

She said she likes men in the interview, though. I ain’t drafting no Michael Sam.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BC Dick

That’s hilarious and their couch pillows look like short, fat cocks.

Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As part of an effort to pretend things are normal, I still look at ads for dumbbells on Craigslist. The prices have gone bonkers. Today I saw a pair of 5 lbs weights for $40. And a pair of 15’s for $80.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Here, let me come over and give them a test lift. You didn’t sweat or cough or anything on these? Did you?”

King Hippo

I’m at least 210 lbs of dumbbell ,, ppl forget that

/also self-fat shamed

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

A poignant demonstration of Michel Therrein’s inability to manage youth.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Stupid Pig.
Ooooh, bacon sounds good.