Your MXC Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

  • I’m just going to use the whole sentence: “Multiple Houston Texans and Dallas Cowboys football players, including Pro Bowl running back Ezekiel Elliott, have recently tested positive for COVID-19.”
    • According to Florio, it’s at least four – two Texans & two Cowboys.
      • None of the players appear to have brought the disease into the team facility.
      • No report that the Texans picked it up at the George Floyd funeral, although it’s still within the 14-day incubation period.
    • Zeke is, of course, thrilled that more of his personal life has leaked to the media.

He’s not blaming his agent, but is alluding to the fact it likely came from the Cowboys.

  • This news comes on the same day that NFL Players Association medical director Thom Mayer announced that players would be tested, on average, three times per week.
    • The league is expected to release it’s training camp protocols this week or next.
  • The NFLPA’s math is that league revenues would drop by $3.0 billion is stadiums remained empty the whole season.
    • This is lower than the Forbes estimate of $5.5 billion in lost “stadium revenue”.
      • Which they calculated to include the sum of tickets, concessions, sponsors, parking and team stores.
    • There is yet no word on what would happen to future salary caps.
  • One revenue generating stream is beginning to get tapped.
    • The Broncos and FanDuel Group announced a multi-year partnership on Monday, making FanDuel an official sports betting partner and an official daily fantasy partner of the Broncos.
      • The deal is the first official sports betting partnership for an NFL team.

MXC Monday:

Tonight’s episode is Adult Entertainment vs Home Improvement.

The “Do It Yourselfers” versus the “Do Everyones”. A fine collection of invented names & crash landings are at your disposal.

This is Episode 112, meaning that I’ve posted an episode every Monday for three straight months.


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • Wrasslin’:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the “fallout” from last night’s “Backlash” event.
  • Antiques Roadshow – 8:00PM | PBS
    • From Honolulu – 19th-century Hawaiian poi pounders; a Dirk van Erp copper vase; and a Joseph Nawahi oil painting from 1888 are featured.
  • The Titan Games – 8:00PM | NBC
    • The Rock’s weekly reminder that you suck, and that there are some people rich enough to exercise at least 6 hours.day.
  • America In Black And Blue 2020 – 9:00 PM | PBS
    • This program reports from across the country, and includes interviews with key leaders and participants in the struggle for racial justice, accountability and equity, as well as voices from law enforcement.
  • ESPN SportsCenter Special: Return to Sports – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Commissioners Roger Goodell (NFL), Adam Silver (NBA), Rob Manfred (MLB), Gary Bettman (NHL), Cathy Engelbert (WNBA) and Don Garber (MLS) are expected to participate in a discussion hosted remotely by Get Up’s Mike Greenberg.
      • Pray to whatever God you believe in for either a meteor, lightning or earthquake.
        • Godless atheists can wish for one of the three.
          • The vegans of the religious world don’t get bonus picks because they don’t believe in anything.

It seems more a of talking night than an action night. Choose wisely.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well, destroy his jaw anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh shit; I think I’ve posted this before…. TERRIBLY sorry.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’s probably not a real skate gurl anyways.

Unsurprised

Well, I’m done.

ZZZZZZZ

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yeah right

We’re doing a full on family reunion on Sunday.

On Zoom.
We’ve got like 5 birthdays this week plus father’s day and we’re going to do this proper.

We need to be taking this pandemic shit seriously people. It doesn’t matter how sick of it you’ve gotten. People are dying and we can’t get stupid now.

I’m even going to finish Sunday Gravy while we’re video conferencing.

It’s a new world and we better learn to adapt.

Unsurprised

That fucking rules.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

People are dying and we can’t get stupid now.

Too late. Oh, you mean us.

Happy all those days!

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Oh, God. She looks like my boss probably did … ago. Butt let’s not dwell on that.
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Unsurprised

I like this.
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ALXMAC

Very good, not great movie. Lot’s of GoT cast. Worth a watch.

ALXMAC
Unsurprised

I’m not going to bed with the idea of a fucking white terrorist attempting to murder someone in my hometown, so here.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

LOL. Clicking on the photos to go through the array makes it a makeshift animated gif.

https://some-celebrity-stuffs.tumblr.com/post/189169314047/olga-kurylenko

BrettFavresColonoscopy

[The Cowboys] released a statement saying they have done nothing…

I’ll take things typically associated with the NFLPA for $400, Alex

Gratliff

[The Cowboys] released a statement saying they have done nothing [since January 1996]

ALXMAC

(ouch)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think you are discounting all of their accomplishments; they did… a lot of cocaine and spouse beating.

Unsurprised

… And Taylor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s get some fucking food.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, everybody can relax, the US is fixed and things are okay. Our national nightmare is over:

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-hollywood-idUSKBN23M2JM

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Let’s talk about basic photo composition.

Gratliff

Members of a New Mexico militia group just opened fire on a group of protestors. One shooter yelled out that his dad was the sheriff. Fortunately they were able to save the one who was hit. This is always how this shit goes. Demonizing the left and screaming about property damage while right wing psychos attempt to pile up bodies.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It helps a lot when I look at the fucking date!! Practice?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Imagine shooting someone over a fucking statue.

Unsurprised

You know that’s not why.

Unsurprised

“Man Is Shot”

“Gunfire broke out.”

It’s amazing how no right winger has ever done an active verb in the world the New York Times exists in.

Don T

THIS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GIF I CALL IT THE BIDEN CAMPAIGN CAUSE IT’S CAUSING A BIG TENT TO BE PITCHED.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Checkin’ Butt

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“BIG”

litre_cola

Another bad Senator was Tom Barrasso. He played 7 games and got 0 points.
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Stupid goalie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

He was a good Penguin.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Why the fuck am I having trouble finding the source of this?

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s difficult with one hand.

Unsurprised

One hand for the boat, one hand for yourself.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of the highlights of the whole #rampgate business was seeing somebody point out that the president who could get down a ramp the fastest was FDR.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s fucking hilarious.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve actually seen that sign in person – it’s in San Lucia, in South Africa.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I meant the FDR joke, but yeah; I always thought it was in Florida.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think they are both hilarious.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Probably needs to be put up in Florida.

Gumbygirl

Florida Man!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[search Google for this image]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I *think* it’s from The New Guy. Underrated flick

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Sleeping With Other People. Same as the gif of her spinning around in lingerie.

Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Lil WCS and Lil’er WCS can now correctly identify Metallica, Pantera, Huey Lewis and the News, Beastie Boys, Pearl Jam, and Stone Temple Pilots.

DAD ROCK ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

SonOfSpam

Good, but needs moar Van Halen and Rush.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Absolutely correct. I’m working on it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

And what about DAD COUNTRY ACHIEVEMENT?*

*West Virginny, mountain stepmommaaaaa. Take me home, Dusty Rhodes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

+1 just for the line at the bottom

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

My sonny boy starts his first day of work in the family business. He’s 4th generation. He’s probably completely fucked.

SonOfSpam

Give him an old one to kill first. Preferably mostly passed out.

scotchnaut

Kids these days-he’s locating dumpsters by GPS and not by scoping them out by driving around the neighborhood. smgdh

SonOfSpam

It’s rough, but you gotta get with the times.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[drone flies over. Hobo senses tingling vaguely]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or maybe a simple, low-key kidnapping?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5e5UsPm5YQ

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I say give him a tough one, a challenge, but calculated he will kill after an intensive struggle. The scotch will taste sweeter with some bruises and cuts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why are you making him become a prostitute?!?

SonOfSpam

Ron Perlman is delightfully asking Ted Cruz to name a time/place for an ass-beating (he’s even inviting McConnell along for funsies).

Ted Cruz is somehow not among the worst 3 or 4 senators. MAYBE.

Redshirt

Let’s see…McConnell, Paul, Graham…

I dunno. Cruz and Alexander are neck-and-neck in 4th worse Senator.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Peter King and Tom Tancredo get no ‘spect.

Redshirt

In my defense, when I think of “Peter King” I immediate think of a greater evil that goes by that name.

And as God is my witness, this is first I’ve heard of that other guy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He goes fully conspiracy theory…… so yeah, they like him.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, ok maybe 4th. Wait…Marsha Blackburn is awful. Damn, this is TOUGH.

Redshirt

Door Flies Open: Come for the Dick Jokes; Stay for the Intense Political Discussions

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, forgot that one for a second.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh come on, Tom Cotton? Inhofe and Kennedy also defintely top 10.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fuck, so much douchetalent.

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SonOfSpam

Yeah, lots of “talent” in the Senate.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Cornyn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

16 team playoff.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Where does Alexandre Daigle fit in?
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SonOfSpam

Got a Patrick Bateman vibe. Nuke him from orbit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“No, no, wait. Let me pick his brain first.” – scotchy

scotchnaut

the horror, the horror…

Gumbygirl

Don’t forget Sniveling Susan and Tall Cotton!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is like the old [website redacted]; drafts: you re-picked someone’s Cotton. You lose your second third round pick.

Gumbygirl

In my defense, I’m high.

Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Yes?

Redshirt

https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/15/politics/neil-gorsuch-supreme-court-lgbtq-rights/index.html

I’m not sure what I find more entertaining, Conservatives flabbergasted by Gorsuch’s “betrayal” or Liberals wondering if this is a one time thing or if Gorsuch turned Face. Anyway, heckuva job with this nomination, Donnie.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, shouldn’t have been anything but 9-0. Not counting on Gorsuch for too much more.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Three votes by you know whos…….

Redshirt

Lets be honest. Its four. Roberts only voted with the majority so he could have Gorsuch write a narrowly written opinion. If it was 5-4 with Roberts on the minority, the responsibility to designate an opinion writer would’ve gone to the most senior justice in the majority, RBG, whom may have picked a liberal justice to give a more broader opinion.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Could be, but the dissenters are just fucking assholes in a complete sense was my point.

Redshirt

I respectfully concur. I especially liked Justice Kavanaugh’s opinion of “you should be proud of your victory here, but I cannot support it because the law isn’t written that way”. I’m sure he’ll be that strict when Trump’s “make me Caesar” case comes on the docket.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you concur it can be disrespectfully. “I agree! She’s hot, you bitch.” Is fine with me.

Redshirt

Whatever you say, bitch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thank you.

Redshirt

So a substitute teacher decided to put together a Black Lives Matter rally in a village of Bethel, 30 miles southeast of Cincinnati. Of course, the Back the Blue, 2nd Amendment people decided to put together a counterprotest. The protest numbered 800, or a quarter of the population.

The protest is in the 2nd day and there are now active rumors that there are busloads of Antifa going to burn downtown Bethel to the ground. All 55 square blocks of it.

This is just stupid. All because some rednecks are afraid of change.

Also, don’t worry. I don’t live near Bethel, so I’m not in danger, but still Bethel, a village you can drive through in five minutes is having active protests.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bethel,_Ohio

SonOfSpam

and there are now active rumors that there are busloads of Antifa going to burn downtown Bethel to the ground.
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Redshirt

I wish I was making that up. The rumors do say they are coming from Dayton, so there’s evidence on both sides as to its validity.

SonOfSpam

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Come on, “validity” fucking A.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Validity” people who believe shit they read on social media are fucking idiots.

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/klamath-falls-oregon-victory-declared-over-antifa-which-never-showed-n1226681

scotchnaut

“Thank God someone still believes that the phrase ‘active rumours’ carries any weight whatsoever.”

-Fox News

scotchnaut

“The Wheels on the Bus Go Antifa.”

Game Time Decision

Maybe a few or even 3 smart or wise people can get some ham* in Bethel

* and maybe bring some other donations

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Still cackle at the US Army Corps of Engineers shade
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9npL6x8oFQ

Gratliff

Brandon Brooks just tore his achilles. Let’s get the fucking welps in early, I guess.

Mr. Ayo

You mean like his landscaper?

Gratliff

My edit was so fast and yet still failed me

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Dr. Tongue’s 3D House of Horrors got to ‘Rip and Tear’ first. Check 3:30 in-if you dare!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SJY6w0HD50

scotchnaut

This skit just keeps on giving-they’ve successfully brainwashed the stewardesses and have to tell them that, yes, okay, they’d like more pillows and vodka/OJ’s even though they don’t. Keep an eye out for Catherine O’Hara laughing and trying to cover her mouth.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

I came here to bitch about this.

SonOfSpam

Fray Achilles Fray

ballsofsteelandfury

Rotating surfboard of death is always good for painful eliminations.

scotchnaut

“Painful Eliminations” is the name of my The Rolling Kidney Stones cover band.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I was thinking of small caliber (calibre) that takes a long time to bleed out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Or Bat Torture.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, never mind, that’s just sexy time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T
Don T

Oh! I got nose-odomized on Saturday. Negative for Covid woo. (Soap and smoking, you the real heroes.) Now when I threaten to cough on everything, it’s “Disturbing the peace” at worst. ?

Don T

Props to Zeke for spelling HIPAA right. Tho question mark game needs work.

And OF COURSE I’ve spelled it HIPPA, which suggests a lithe lady with killer shoulders WINK.

scotchnaut

#SCAPULASMATTER!

-anon, N.C.

Don T

??

Game Time Decision

But was his tweet AOTA compliant?

Porky Prime

Are we sure he wasn’t accusing Hippo of leaking the info; so distraught he misspelled the name?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hippo only stole his prescriptions.

Spur

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Spur

It’s Texas, I’ll be more shocked when they report who doesn’t have Covid.

scotchnaut

Imagine, an ENTIRE PROGRAM devoted to the weather!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmCO8vJdVEk

herodotus450

What’s next, a whole channel just for Spices?

scotchnaut
Don T

I love me some Julio Velez.

ballsofsteelandfury

I LOVE MXC MONDAYS!!!

scotchnaut

[watches clip]

Really? But there’s no anal!

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s in the subtext

scotchnaut

“I spent 8 months working in a secret government subtext. Adore me.”

-Barnacle Heatbook

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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