Sexy Friday, July 4th weekend 2020 edition

Since tomorrow is July 4th, today was a holiday for me. That meant no work and the start of a nice long weekend.

Usually people would be barbecuing and getting together to watch fireworks shows. Even in the age of COVID 19, I’m sure a lot of people are still doing that. Not me, though.

I plan to stay home and relax. Maybe crack open a beer. Maybe watch some Aussie Rules. Maybe grill some hot dogs and burgers in the backyard. That seems safer and just as fun. I can always watch fireworks on TV.

If you’ve read my bio, you know I’m a big fan of butts. And balls. And boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter “B”. Preferably together. Well, today’s theme pays homage to my bio and the things I love most. Last time, we had boobs. Today, I will be showing you Tik Tok girls that have bodacious booties. But more on that later…

***

Sprots News

The sports calendar is filling up! Now, on top of NASCAR, the Bundesliga, the AFL, and La Liga, we have almost all the rest of the European soccer leagues in action!

Meanwhile, in North America, the one sport that plays during the summer and features very little contact (so should be ideal for these COVID-19 times) has had its head up its ass for most of the spring. Really, MLB should have been the first sport to come back. Yet, here we are.

Hippo should get you up to speed tomorrow morning on the soccer matchups of the day. In the meantime, if you can’t sleep, I suggest you turn on either the TSN networks in Canada or the Fox Sports networks in the US and see some AFL as I know you will enjoy it.

***

Without further ado, here are this week’s dirty and bootylicious Tik Tok girls. Enjoy:

Nice view!
Who is having what?
Love the #buchonas hashtag!
It IS nice!
I would love to see the purple.
Bowl of soup.
Karen got a nice ass.
Bummer summer
Hi Bubbles!
That’s a nice cliff.
Nice bike!
Oh oh oooooh oh!
Nice blondie
Great look!
Love that look on her face!

***

And now, the next episode of our new feature!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

My aim each week will be to showcase a tune or band from the 80s (the best decade EVAR!) that not many people know about or have heard of. In this way, hopefully these artists will find new audiences and the old audiences can reminisce about what they were doing in the 80s.

Today’s band is one that is very close to my heart. If anyone says a bad word about this band, I WILL CUT YOU!

With that out of the way, let me just say that this band defined the 80s in Los Angeles. If you were either a teenager or a young adult living in Los Angeles in the 80s, you saw this band live and you loved it.

They played everywhere. Clubs, parties, amusement park all-ages shows, EVERYWHERE! And they were a damn good time. Never before and probably never since has one band united all segments of the LA population. They were like Ferris Bueller. Everyone loved them.

The band, of course, was The Untouchables.

KROQ in LA was particularly good about not sticking to one genre and gave The Untouchables a lot of airplay. Their music has been described as mod-ska. I think of it more as party music.

I don’t know about the rest of the country or Canada but this band was big in LA. I’m really curious to hear if any of you had heard of this band before. Their massive hit and most recognizable song was “Free Yourself”:

The Untouchables – Free Yourself

Their debut album was full of fun dance tunes like the title track, “Wild Child”:

The Untouchables – Wild Child

and “I Spy for the FBI”:

The Untouchables – I Spy for the FBI

The beauty and strength of this band were their live shows. During those shows, they would play ska covers of songs like “Stepping Stone” and other fun danceable oddities like “Twist n Shake”:

The Untouchables – Twist n Shake

Perhaps my favorite Untouchables song is the slower but beautifully soulful “What’s Gone Wrong”:

The Untouchables – What’s Gone Wrong

Like most bands of the 80s, The Untouchables went through a lot of turnover after their initial success. However, they are still together and still play shows even though a big part of the band died when longtime guitarist and vocalist Clyde Grimes passed away in 2016.

Even in 2020, I bet you their shows are still a full on dance party.

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to maintain the social distancing so that cases/ hospitalizations/deaths don’t spike even more. See you next week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Weirdest Friday night vibe ever

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Big surprise

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I’d like to see a kid ride a bicycle over that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

The starting grid for the Pumplypics?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Coming up next: Remember the Maines while we watch Black Panther

Mr. Ayo
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I feel like I am being mocked.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You also feel like everything is about you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

Originally called “Lonely and Horny Songs”, but Tonk Amnesia’s a sellout.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

He’d marry that bitch, if she’d have him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She has BEAUTIFUL hair

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Why do you mock me?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Because you are paranoid?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Now I remember why I liked Land of the Lost…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

F1 firing it back up this weekend in Austria!

Mr. Ayo

And…

Mercedes has already won the title. Congrats Hamilton!

Col. Duke LaCross

Pretty much. That protest of DAS by Red Bull was the last ditch effort to give anyone else a chance. And I’m pretty sure my charger could give the new Ferrari a run for its money.

Mr. Ayo

It’s going to be an inglorious end to Vettel’s career. And hopefully they don’t crush LeClerc’s confidence going forward with their shitbox.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, mezcal Paloma time

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

I could go for one or two of those. I’m a liquor lightweight, so I’d be hammered after two.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s why I’ll switch cocktails for the 2nd-5th drinks.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

You can switch to the cheap stuff, I will neither know nor care!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s not what it looks like

(from Viva Knievel! 1977)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Can’t pinch a loaf.

Viva La Tabula Raza

If you hate Pink Floyd, this is not for you. If you were of the Pink Floyd generation, this is for you: Favourite album?
For me, it’s Animals. Probably because I saw them on the Animals tour in 1977. After Dark Side and Wish, Animals did it for me. Never got totally on board with The Wall or Final Cut. Waters-less Floyd also did not do it for me, although I liked a couple of the tunes on Division Bell and Lapse of Reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiaF4kuxJco

Mr. Ayo

I like The Wall. But I was only 1 year old during the Animals tour.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Which means you were 4 or so when The Wall was released, which I guess makes a difference? *smiley face*

Mr. Ayo

Damn straight. I actually remember being 4.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think Pink Floyd can easily appeal to people of a different age than when they were popular.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I was 17, a high school senior, when I drove to Houston to see the Floyd at Jeppeson Stadium, April 1977. I may still have the ticket stub. I think I ate a quarter pound of psilocybin mushrooms before the show. It rained like hell, but no one seemed to care, at least I didn’t, because I was tripping balls. Drove back to San Antonio the same night, I think we got home as the sun was coming up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Ha ha, i took it completely on purpose, and would do so again today!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The “bad” drugs are the ones they can’t make money from.

Gumbygirl

I like Wish You Were Here the best, then Dark Side of the Moon, and then Animals. Good stoner music!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Reefer = FACTS!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Not only does George Carlin look just like my dad, he’s the same age. Although my dad is still alive, and Carlin is dead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxcNyurKK4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Roast suckling pigs with chicken wings is probably my favorite song of all time.” – Andy Reid

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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It’s fine.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Backstage with The Stoney Mountain Cloggers

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

So, I have a bit of a rant.

I’ve had The Natural in my queue for a while — I’d seen it before, but years ago, and I figured a sentimental sports film would be good quarantine viewing. So I watched it last night, and …. good cast, well directed, and all that, but… it’s kind of shit, isn’t it?

I mean, it indulges in so many sports movie clichés that you lose track of them. The guy has a magic bat that hasn’t broken after 16+ years, but of course breaks at a conveniently dramatic moment, complete with flashes of lightning. Roy Hobbs either strikes out or hits a home run every time — I think I counted twice when he was a baserunner, including the “ripped the cover off the ball” triple and one other time we see him sliding into home to beat a tag. The Knights are either on a terrible losing streak or a hot winning streak, depending on what Hobbs is doing. There are only two times when another member of the Knights is in any way relevant: “Bump” Bailey, whose purpose is to die and open up a roster spot for Hobbs, and the pitcher who is throwing the playoff game until Hobbs gives him a brief talking-to, which is a scene that lands flat because we know next to nothing about this character or why he would change his mind based on a scolding from Hobbs. We have both a “crooked gambler fixing games” villain AND a “co-owner who wants the team to lose” villain.

And the entire plot seems ridiculous. We’re meant to believe that Hobbs kept his past a closely-guarded secret because it was so scandalous to admit he accepted an invitation to a woman’s hotel room, and she turned out to be a serial killer who shot him and then jumped out the window? I know it was a different era with different morality, but Hobbs was fully clothed when he was shot, and he wasn’t the only athlete she killed. He’s so embarrassed by this that he makes no attempt whatsoever to make contact with his hometown sweetheart who he’s kind-of-sort-of engaged to? Meanwhile Hobbs hangs out with a gambler’s kept woman and goes to the gambler’s parties and isn’t worried about that being scandalous — we’re even shown that newspapers are running photos of them swanning about town together.

And the aforementioned sweetheart, who is pregnant with his child, makes no attempt to locate Hobbs? You would hardly have needed Google — she knew he was going to try out for the Cubs (or whichever) organization — surely they would have remembered that one of their prospects was found shot in a hotel room? It must have generated at least local news in Chicago when it happened.

Dunstan

Also, everything Roger Ebert said here:

https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-natural-1984

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My biggest problem with that movie is that Glenn Close isn’t attractive

Dunstan

Yeah, that’s an amazing accomplishment.

I also found it hilarious how we go directly from a scene set in Hobbs’ youth, where despite every lighting trick in the book it’s impossible to buy Redford as a 20-year-old, to him showing up at the Knights’ dugout looking exactly the same, and everyone’s all “WHOA, LOOK AT THE OLD GUY!”

Mr. Ayo

Agreed

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Although now I kinda want to watch Major League again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

I think Major League still holds up, though Jake Taylor’s “courtship” of his ex is a little stalker-ish at times.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I did not like it at all. My baseball sentimentality is pretty much how complete of an asshole Ty Cobb (even in era context) was and essentially got away with all of it. You kind of get there, but it seems like Steel Magnolias for a different crowd.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Can I get one of those with my next Bose home theater setups?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bose quality.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

That’s old-timey speak for “I do anal” right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Although looking at that guy, she may have pegged him……

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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