I’m, as I’ve mentioned before, a Live and Let Die kind of person. I don’t really care if people do stupid things to themselves.
Where I do draw the line is when the stupid things that people do affect innocent people. Over 4th of July weekend, the Los Angeles Fire Department responded to over 1000 fires. There was also a wildfire in the mountains.
Care to hazard a guess as to why there were so many fires?
There were too many damn idiots lighting fireworks without knowing what the fuck they were doing
Listen, I laugh heartily along with the rest of you when JPP loses fingers from his hand. I don’t laugh at all when people’s houses and kids’ classrooms get burned down because idiots don’t know how to properly set off fireworks.
It’s stupid and it’s time to do something about it. It’s time to ban the sale of fireworks in Los Angeles County.
Clearly there are too many idiots that don’t know how to safely use them. This is why we can’t have nice things.
***
Today, I will be showing you Tik Tok girls that have something in common, but I won’t tell you what it is. I’ll make it a hidden theme and see if anyone can guess it. My money is on Moose.
Without further ado, here are this week’s dirty dirty Tik Tok girls. Enjoy:
***
And now, the next episode of our new feature!
As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!
My aim each week will be to showcase a tune or band from the 80s (the best decade EVAR!) that not many people know about or have heard of. In this way, hopefully these artists will find new audiences and the old audiences can reminisce about what they were doing in the 80s.
Today is the first of a two-part post!
The subject of today’s first part gets into the songs produced by the band that bears this artist’s name yet preceded his solo work. I will delve more deeply into his solo work next week.
Started in London, produced by Malcom McLaren, and eventually dismantled to form Bow Wow Wow, this band put out a brilliant debut punk album in 1979 followed by successful follow-ups in 1980 and 1981. They were hugely influential and introduced the world to the concept of having two drum kits playing at the same time. And they also made me want to be a pirate.
The band, of course, was Adam and the Ants.
As I mentioned before, KROQ in LA was my source for discovering new music in the early 80s. They were very good about playing every kind of new music type and they played Adam and the Ants quite a bit. Their early sound was raw and punkish.
You can hear that raw sound in one of their early hits, “Whip in my Valise”:
You can also hear it in Physical:
Shortly after the release of their debut album, the Ants were shipped off to join 13-year old Anabella Lwin in Bow Wow Wow. With a brand new set of Ants, Adam recorded his second album, Kings of the Wild Frontier, and released it in 1980. It was full of slightly less raw but still rocking and danceable songs like “Antmusic”:
“Dog Eat Dog”:
and another more polished version of Physical.
The band quickly recorded another album, Prince Charming, and put it out in 1981. It produced the classic “Stand and Deliver”:
In 1982, Adam felt the Ants were not as “into” the band as he was and decided to disband and follow a solo career. He did keep a few of the Ants and did follow along the same musical footsteps as Adam and the Ants such as continuing to use two drummers. His sound also became a little more New Wave-ish, which led to greater success.
But that’s a story for next week. Adam and the Ants were so influential that their song “Physical” would end up being covered by Nine Inch Nails:
I bet you that you had no idea that was originally an Adam and the Ants song.
While Adam and the Ants only lasted for a little bit, they left behind great songs and paved the way for the mega success that Adam Ant later enjoyed during his solo career. Plus, TWO MOTHERFUCKING DRUMMERS AT THE SAME TIME!
***
That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to stay the fuck away from stupid people. That’s not COVID-19 advice, that’s just general good sense. See you next week!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=-fWw7FE9tTo&feature=emb_logo
Who here does not like Iggy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeQ2r1HLALE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_dYDwCdz_U
there’s a lot going on here:
Is that the Tom’s Strip-n-Bowl down by San Pedro?
Since it’s still in the original plastic wrap, that Mono Men album is even more valuable than if it was the Stereo version. Just more rare is all.
Also, this:
Alright, I’ll watch the 2nd half.
Time to blaze up.
Tied! This could be a banger.
Just like my dates at the end of the evening!
You always add mash.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4tDj_46wf8
Always!
Bottle of wine didn’t survive.
Waitress, beer please!
This game has been a fucking blast.
“Listen, if you would have cleaned the cat box, I would not have been rude.”
his rudness?
The Catman has a reddish nose and paw complexion.
“Mom?”
Is it time to eat Grandma?
And then just a few second later he did just that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCtzkaL2t_Y
Never realized that there was any British involvement at all in the Cuban Missile Crisis. Of course, I was three years old at the time, so why would I?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lwyv_RXR_A&t=1251s
Holy shit Dockers!
The khaki ones really show it don’t they?!?
Yup. No guesses on the hidden theme?
I don’t know, didn’t try to find the videos. The shag carpet one seems like the one that is odd out..
No need to find the videos. It’s just ” what do all these images have in common”?
All batteries are charged over the minimum amount for an Apple update to be allowed to take place.
“No, not that you fucker.”
They all have ‘Following’ and ‘For You’ is selected.
“Not that either you dingbat!!”
I’ve always wondered about the etymology of ‘dingbat’ but been too lazy to look it up, even though I could have easily done it in the time it took to type this comment
What’s so hahd ta figger out?
Is it butts?
I understood that reference!
—Chris Evans
The Tit Spray (R) fucked them bastards up.
Hands free is the way to go
If I could own any two aircraft in the world, I think I’d own an F-14 Tomcat and an Avro Vulcan (as long as I could also have the full nuclear bombload).
If I could own any two aircraft in the world I wonder what circumstances would have led me to that unique result.
Gimme a Rutan Voyager and a Kiowa Warrior
British guy I know that’s an aeronautical engineer worked for Rutan back in the 1990s on the Long E-Z.
I want an Apollo rocket and a zeppelin.
There’ll be a hot time in
Lakehurst, New Jersey
When the Hindenburg comes in
Toniiiiiiiiiight
(I forgot how to make the little musical notes with html).
The Florida novel is a surprisingly awesome genre. Turns out it’s not just Carl Hiaason
Goddamn, Mad TV had some super jingoistic shit in the early years of the Afghanistan and Iraq wars, and jesus christ did they do a lot of brownface. I’m guessing that’s probably not an isolated phenomenon, but that was during my college years when my TV viewing consisted entirely of pirated movies and pirated anime and pirated asian pornography with the occasional stretches of Adult Swim playing in the background.
Debra Wilson, though. Good lord.
She did Asian porn??
Michigan wackiness ensued. In the span of a few hours, MLive had the following headlines in chronological order:
“Masks are required in Michigan. But with no enforcement mechanism, compliance is hit or miss.”
“Whitmer orders mask use in Michigan, violators could be fined up to $500”
“‘Overly aggressive’ Michigan mask mandate leaves retailers concerned about enforcement”
It’s interesting territory. Had to be done. The uptick has turned into a second wave and further restrictions were inevitable, but we already had armed militia types flood the capitol building, and that was just because they couldn’t get haircuts and terrible fajitas at Applebee’s. Could get ugly in a hurry when the dipshits start actually getting cited.
Michigan and Pennsylvania are very,,, unique states. Ohio, on the other hand, is just pointless. Sorry, but, not really, Redshirt.
The point of Ohio is to be useful to crossword authors, with its high vowel to consonant ratio
Maybe if they hired off-duty cops to enforce the mask thing, then maye those police officers would not have so much time to be out on the street earning double time brutalizing BLM protestors. Win Win!
It’s no wonder I’m a Dockers fan, first play of the game and they pull a Jim Marshall by going the wrong fucking way.
Christ boys!
I, too, enjoy comfortable khakis at a reasonable price.
I love how the early post-war British jet test pilots did their work in a suit and tie.
Amateurs. Brick wears a Tux on his soirees.
Gotta be classy when testing aircraft
Especially if you are some posh toff with a plummy accent, yeh?
I am absolutely fucking wiped out right now. Work destroyed me. Last minute rush stuff and I had let the day shift go home right before it came in.
But I’m home, got a glass of vino and my fucking Fremantle Dockers are recorded!
Let’s do this!
I hope that by “glass of vino” you actually mean “bottle of vino.”
I’ve been watching the game. He’ll need that bottle…
Yes I do mean bottle and holy Jesus I may not watch past halftime. We look like liquid shit.
Words you don’t want to hear in the same sentence “Liquid shit” and “Dockers.”
2nd quarter has been much better!
Just under 9 minutes in the 2nd here. Looking better.
The title of this thread made me contemplate how ‘sexy’ might be different in the middle of a pandemic, and I realized there’s an uncanny similarity between cheap disposable masks and the cheap disposable underwear they give you at some spas
In Bali I was so drunk for a massage that I thought the spa underwear was a hairnet. I got laughed at.
I thought it was ceremonial!
Any recommendations for good-tasting non-alcoholic beers? The ones I’ve had so far are…
?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3siaGVpZ2h0IjoiPD0xMzI3IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvYjQxZWJjNzQtYTlhNy00MWMzLTk4YzYtNGU2OGM1ODhmY2E5XC9kZHV6d2Y3LTkyM2YwMDMxLWM5Y2MtNDAxZS05MjEwLTQ2NDk1ZGIzODE1YS5wbmciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTI4MCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.ifYCSi49a9x3xBZjvoBCMSVIoWSs6xCvmV91k-aCYaE
and I’m tired of tasting all those letters and numbers
I liked Beck’s version when I was deployed to Kuwait. But I later read the label and found it was 0.5% ABV. So if you drank like 6 or 9 of them, you’d catch a very light buzz. That may very well be a deal breaker, not sure where your tolerance is. I could always get by with one or two at the end of a day in the desert and feel no effect.
Orange juice can be 0.5% ABV due to natural fermentation. It’s kind of unavoidable for any liquid with sugar in it.
What do you think this guy’s up to tonight?
I can tell you what he’s NOT up to – being the head writer for Tucker Carlson’s show anymore.
“Exactly. You can just give away racist and sexist content online for free! save that shit for the show!” – T. Carlson
I’d assume making himself a mayo with extra mayo sandwich to help calm his nerves, but gets angry halfway through and mashes the bread which he then blames Obama for.
Then takes a big slug off his glass of room temperature homogenized milk.
Interviewing for a staff position with Stephen Miller, probably.
Dwight Schrute cosplay?
Violating the Flag Code in unspeakable ways
This is banner worthy.
The government has this, people.
Last night in Ocean City. Sigh.
/ found a funny
I think I’m going to lose my driver’s license and its all because of a stupid police officer.
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:
Officer: “License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!”
Me: “I assure you, I did not drink anything.”
Officer: “Ok, let’s do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?”
Me: “A car.”
Officer: “Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi, or a Ford?”
Me: “I have no idea!”
Officer: “So, you’re drunk.”
Me: “But I didn’t drink anything.”
Officer: “Okay, one more test — imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you. What is it?”
Me: “A motorcycle.”
Officer: “Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?”
Me: “I have no idea!”
Officer: “As I suspected, you’re drunk.”
Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.
Me: “So…, a counter question — You’re driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?”
Officer: “A prostitute of course.”
Me: “Yes but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?”
Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend…
Enjoy your stay in the Hamilton County hoosegow. Please distance socially during your incarceration. At least you aren’t Black, otherwise you would not have even lived to post that.
I can’t stop laughing at this.
How come they always show the attractive Jesus kids, and not the dumpy acne-infected ones?
Well, he did say “suffer the little children come onto me.”
“Oh, but it’s a big deal when *I* say it?” — J. Sandusky
plus they spelled “Cum” wrong.
“It’s spelled ‘come’ in the the St. James version.”
-Some priest somewhere.
Texting and emailing have really bastardized the English language.
Way to keep the joke going, there.
“I prefer the Latin version, CVM” — Some other priest
last funny:
first responder: what’s the issue
wife: we were playing mario party and he just started convolsing and saying nonsense
me: Mexico implies Wexico
wife: see?
me: Louisiana implies Walouisiana
first responder: *into radio* i need our slowest ambulance
She’s got awfully skinny arms to be throwing what appears to be a 16 or 18 pound ball.
—Walter Szobczak
Once this woman got her some City Dick, she was happy.
Bot moderated Helen Mirren? That’s a way to get yourself killed.
Elvis liked them white panties, IIRC.
I like the child-killer fridge there in the kitchenette.
Hiding in the cupboards, like little mice
Hiding in the refrigerator, that isn’t nice, no
—Danny Elfman
And then….
Are you fucking kidding me? You get high and you have not seen THE movie?
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0166924/
Today, I will be showing you Tik Tok girls that have something in common, but I won’t tell you what it is. I’ll make it a hidden theme and see if anyone can guess it. My money is on Moose.
Aren’t you supposed to be enlightening us as to the common thread of Balls’s TikTok theme rather than castigating a pudding-headed alcohol-fazed old man for not remembering every detail of a movie that he has not seen for almost 20 years? 😀
(Also, I always got it confused with Mulholland Falls, an inferior film if I recall correctly).
YOU are telling me about bring up old out of date shit? Give me a fucking break.
I surrender.
So, I went and ran errands and early voted today, and dropped off my recyclables as well. I was in line behind a big ass suburban sporting a One American Network bumper sticker. OAN guy (who probably didn’t have his MAGA ball cap on only because he was in his vehicle) doing the recycling, huh? Hope his buddies don’t see him. OTOH, the line is always long to recycle, even here in a Central Texas county that Trump won 65-35. Went to grocery store, liquor store, early voting location all this morning and EVERYONE had on a mask, just like Governor Abbottoir ordered. Like I said, Comal County went Trump 65-35. I’m surprised and pleased to see it, but WTF is going on?
Cause of this, probably:
“IT’S BIGGER IN TEXAS!!”
I think FL has still got red-state pole position in this race.
You shouldn’t be modest.
I’m not going back to the office until there’s a vaccine, but I think a lot of people that don’t have that luxury are finally starting to wake the fuck up. My county went from less than 90 cases and 5 deaths at the end of May to 866 cases today with 18 deaths. Pretty mild compared to other parts of TX, but still…
Get high and put on Live Peace In Toronto, 1969 by The Plastic Ono Band. The first half is really good as John Lennon and Eric Clapton play like a garage band.
And then . . . in the second half, Yoko Ono starts chirping in on “vocals.” This is when you should get really high. The best part is the end when the crowd starts booing.
Klaus Voorman thanks you for the recommendation.
Wouldn’t it be funny if Roger Stone ended up getting coronavirus and dying anyways?
Only problem with that is that it removes the necessity of Trump having to have him killed down the road when it looks like Stone is going to roll on him for some lucrative cash offer. It’s just how this particular crime organization works.
The “lucrative cash offer” that Stone is going to get will be from Mango himself – Stone got this commutation via extortion, he’s not about to stop turning the screws now that he’s out of jail. Look for him to get hired on to the campaign as a consultant for an astronomical sum.
Except Stone probably knows that Trump will welch on his cash offer. Just ask all the construction contractors and law firms the guy has fucked over the years.
LOL thatd be funny
Evenin commentist party. Toddler about to be put to sleep, wife exhausted, ts about to become me time.
Bowl packed, wine poured, maybe gamble on the MLS to make it interesting, or watch Transporter 2
i got yer sexy friday
That’s the GOOD stuff!
Oh, I saw a hot latina TikTok the other day. I need to find it.
I’ve been on a major Mad Caddies kick lately.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-udaImgTylk
I’m pretty broken-hearted that Fred Smoot failed to address this question.
Yeah, but your comment made me smile.
Oh that is good.
We were pretty dickish to the Brits after WWII about sharing atomic secrets, a lot of ideas for which sprang from the Brits themselves during the Manhattan Project.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qk_zpjK3cTo
Thats cool.
Then again, the British secret service was pretty compromised with Communist moles, because they decided that “well, he’s a good chap who went to Cambridge” was sufficient vetting.
Yeah, and in addition to that, ol’ Klaus really Fuched it up for everyone.
So was the US. So of course they went after Hollywood types who went through a phase 20 years before and were not a threat. Our spy game was just as you expect; fucking idiotic, but also egotistical. If you want a good (but somewhat depressing) read:
https://www.bookbrowse.com/reviews/index.cfm/book_number/2067/legacy-of-ashes
Of fucking course it is available for free PDF.
It was 2007 and we are still complete idiots at it.
The big cases we heard about are incredible, that means there are ten times that amount we didn’t hear about.
Of course a few Soviets who liked US Dollars were productive.
Looking almost, uh, labial, there.
???
Uncategorized list of accomplishments this week:
Watched my first AFL Game! (Fuck yeah, Eagles! That shit was amazing!)
My roommate moved out (No pants life forever!)
Been walking with my Dad for his back rehab (2 miles a day!)
Started up my old Fantasy Team for the first time since the Heretics left (Team name: Dean’s Micro Peen)
I now have no plans but to drink beer, play the Last of Us and not give a shit about anything else until tomorrow.
Well done!
Found a funny:
Getting circumcised and the guy holding up a mirror like a barber so I can see the back of it
So, Friday News Dumpf, fuckstick commutes Stone’s sentence. Surprised, anyone?
Not at all. And I’m far less upset about it than I’d expected to be. I guess because I always knew it was going to happen.
I’m sure Susan Collins has concerns about this.
Her brow is quite furrowed.
OMG
https://www.amazon.com/TERRY-Bernie-Tracksuit-WEEKEND-BERNIES/dp/B083M9B38M
Tik Tok girls that have something in common, but I won’t tell you what it is.
Butt floss? On these hot days at the beach or around the pool, I bet things get a little mungy “down there.”
Nice guess, but nope!
I was thinking Whale Tails for a while, but also no.
They are secretly members of the Seventh Kavalry?
I don’t know what that is.
I hear you on the fireworks. Same here…we’re in a drought, the COVID situation is bad, and the local yahoos lined up at the fireworks stands so that they could shoot shit off for a few days, never mind the collateral damage or the strain on the local firefighter budgets.
I shall now go outside and yell at the clouds.