Your “In A Slow News Cycle, Bad Press Is Worse Press” Thursday Evening Open Thread

CFL News:

  • In a move that hopefully doesn’t have to force Maestro to Ctrl+F all his CFL posts, the Edmonton Eskimos announced this afternoon they will be changing their team name.
    • Much like in Washington, it comes after sponsor pressure.
    • To quote TSN, the current incarnation of the franchise has held the nickname since its inception in 1949.

NFL News:

  • Fallout from the franchise tags applied yesterday:
    • Dak Prescott says he “couldn’t be happier” to play on the tag with the Cowboys.
      • Probably because he controls the bargaining position, barring injury:
        • His Franchise Tag in 2021 would be $37.7 million.
        • A successful year would increase his net payout from whatever deal he signs.
      • They may not have had the right amount available anyway.
        • In the past 16 months, the Cowboys have signed DeMarcus Lawrence ($105 million), Amari Cooper ($100 million), Ezekiel Elliott ($90 million), Jaylon Smith ($64 million) and La’el Collins ($50 million) to very expensive extensions.
    • The Jags wanted more for Yannick Ngakoue than anyone was willing to offer.
      • This is based on what Houston got for Jadaveon Clowney last year when they sent him to Seattle.
        • They got a third-round pick, linebacker Jacob Martin and pass rusher Barkevious Mingo.
    • Twelve players in total will play under the Tag in 2020.
      • That’s the most since the Tag was created in 1993.
        • The previous high was nine players, in 2009 & 2012.
  • Up to July 10th, 72 players have tested positive for COVID-19.
    • This represents 2.5% of the rostered players, with no data available on the number of players tested as a whole.
      • Players who test positive will be placed on IR for three weeks, based on an agreement with the union.
        • They will then either return to practice, or go on the IR list for a longer, yet-to-be-defined period.
    • It’s got JJ Watt concerned.

  • Fans are officially barred from all NFL training camps.
    • This came down in a league memo, which also said two in-stadium events could occur, provided they met with league & state guidelines for public gatherings.
  • If you follow NFL gossip, there’s apparently some big story about the [Redacteds] that’s going to drop tomorrow.
    • It’s coming from the Washington Post, whose owner – Jeff Bezos – is also an interested possible minority partner for the team.
    • Part of it has dropped early, and it sounds worse than the time they pimped out their cheerleaders.
      • The allegations have already led to three team employees accused of improper behavior abruptly departing, including Larry Michael, the club’s longtime radio voice, and Alex Santos, the team’s director of pro personnel.
        • They announced they’ve hired a lawyer to “review team culture”, in what is seen as a pre-emptive move to limit liability.
          • It is D.C. attorney Beth Wilkinson of Wilkinson Walsh LLP, who has experience defending high-profile class-action lawsuits, including for the NFL against a class-action lawsuit regarding its Sunday Ticket packages.
      • It’s behind a paywall, so we will have to wait for someplace like Vichy Deadspin (not my term) & one of their Quislings (my term) to pay the money & break it down.


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • Top Rank Boxing on ESPN – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
    • Marriaga-Yap (featherweights)
      • Miguel Marriaga (29-3, 25 KOs) vs. Mark John Yap (30-15, 15 KOs) in a featherweight main event in Las Vegas. Also: Felix Verdejo vs. Will Madera (lightweights).
  • Fútbol:
    • MLS is Back Tournament – FS1 / TSN
      • Montreal Impact vs. Toronto FC – 8:00PM
      • Columbus Crew vs. New York Red Bulls – 10:30PM
    • Copa GNP por México
      • Chivas Guadalajara vs. América – 10:00PM | UNI
  • Southern hemisphere tackle sports:
    • Super Rugby Australia:
      • Reds vs. Force – 5:00AM | TSN2
    • AFL:
      • Essendon vs. Western – 5:30AM | FS1 / TSN5

That concludes my weekday broadcasts. I’ll be back with something pre-taped for the weekend. In the meantime, and in between time, that’s it – another Open Thread from Beerguyrob.

Bye-bye now.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I don’t think I’ve ever rooted so hard for the Catholic Church to get their hands on a teenager.” – Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esq. (ret), during the second episode of Warrior Nun

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, in order not to get totally screwed out of my use-or-lose PTO, it looks like I’ll be taking every Friday off from now through the end of the calendar year. Maybe I’ll be able to check into the DJ show on Fridays for a while.
Some other really pain the ass stuff happened recently. My parents are going to drag me to my grave early. I may or may not elaborate soon. Nothing mortal going on yet, but goddam how frustrating.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do! I have a very elaborate and totally well thought out plan for the VisionQuest 2020 arc.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Just a heads-up, kids:

Tomorrow’s HRTN will have a link to new Diggler’s merch. The new merch is on Redbubble instead of Zazzle, as I’ll be able to sell some pin-up art through RB (not that you guys are interested in that…). I will be moving the HRTN merch from Zazzle over to RB, probably next week. This week was really hectic. Also working on an Iguana Mart tee as well.

This has been your irregularly scheduled HRTN update.

Senor Weaselo

I wonder where my HRTN shirt is…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Don’t worry, I’ll make more.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

On the other hand; Happy Thursday….

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Wakezilla

So, Washington Redacteds are changing their name to the Roughriders, right?

/sees new sexual harassment allegations.

Nevermind.

Dunstan

Washington Weinsteins?

Dunstan

Fears of an all-Yankee final grew with the ’61 squad’s victory in Game Five over the 2012 Giants. Once again, the hero was not Maris or Mantle or Howard, but 1B Bill Skowron, who wiped out a 3-0 Giants lead with a 4th-inning grand slam off Madison Bumgarner (L, 3-1). Skowron now has 11 HRs and 35 RBI in 28 games in the tournament. Sheldon picked up the win (4-0) and Arroyo the save (7).

Wakezilla

How are the winners being decide?

Dunstan

Simulation by Out of the Park Baseball 19 sim engine.

Wakezilla

I think they’ve over-valued the teams that are close to a 100 years old. Those teams didn’t even play against black, Asian or Latinos and training was unheard of

Dunstan

Yeah, I don’t think of this as a literal, what-if-you-grabbed-them-out-of-a-time-machine experiment. I believe in better/faster/stronger modern athletes.

Of course, today’s athletes would struggle a bit in 1920s baseball too, with the shitty batter’s eye, crappy uniforms and cleats, poor food and travel conditions, spitballs, etc.

Gratliff

Also, Polio

Dunstan

Polio was a hoax invented by Bill Gates’s grandfather.

Senor Weaselo

Mooooooooooose.

No, not ours.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

I see what you did there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[SNICKERS]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“What?!?”

-Andy R. KC

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tonight I had a turkey burger with jalapeños from the garden, avocado (that we found on the ground while walking the dog), and pepperjack cheese.

I was worried that it wouldn’t be enough so I also had a sirloin steak.

I worked out today and set a new local record for bench press (not anywhere remotely close to good, but an improvement over how I’ve been doing lately).

The temperature in LA is not supposed to exceed ninety for the next two weeks or so.

Things are really good, except for the skyrocketing COVID numbers in my city.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

This stupid country deserves everything happening to it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wish the fucking asteroid would just hit. But in the Pacific, so I can watch on CNN or the Weather Channel or whatever, the cloud of death circumnavigate the planet until it reaches me 18 hours or so later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

At one point in my life, I pretty much had the same sideburns as Mr. Dave Davies there. Sorry.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

You mean you don’t still have them?!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I either had a beard, a huge beer filtering mustache, clean, or my now common “fuck it stubble” I should have had a sideburn phase, I think it would have made me a better person.

Senor Weaselo

I’d rather take the direct impact. No waiting for the inevitable.

Dunstan

I’d like the warning, so I can drink my best wine and whiskey.

Well, ok, make a dent in it at least.

Also, maybe a neighbor wants to go out with a bang.

rockingdog

LOL

jurassic park: now safer than disney land

jurassic park spokesperson: look, we can’t believe it either. but as it turns out dinosaurs chasing you really supports social distancing

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I’m still getting fatter. I have that going for me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

Me this week: Hey, I’m healthy again! That means that now I can do…. oh yeah, pretty much nothing new, other than the occasional walk. Shit.

Oh yeah, and drinking. There is that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just talked to a guy that had it with very few symptoms and did the 14 day isolation and came up clean. I am glad you are okay.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Are you really better? That’s great! I’m very happy to hear that you are on the other side of things.

Dunstan

Yeah, the fever stopped about a week ago. The cough lingered for a few more days. I’ve been symptom free since at least Monday.

Still don’t know what it was. The COVID test was negative, so it was either a false test result or it was some other virus that I got at a shitty time. Who knows. Not about to pay for an antibody test, which wouldn’t necessarily tell me anything either.

But yeah, glad to be done with that. I had two rough nights, but otherwise I wasn’t that sick. It was just the anxiety about what it could turn into. We all know the stories — “he was doing ok for a few days, next thing we knew he couldn’t breathe…”

Appreciate everyone’s support here. It was good to have a place to talk about it — with friends and family I felt like I was having to talk them down and give them constant updates.

Gratliff

An understated part of the whole thing is that the tests give a ton of false negatives, especially the earlier tests, which could get as high as 20% false negative rate.

Dunstan

Oh, testing. Let me tell you my testing story. Parts of this I think I told here already.

So after I first got symptoms, I had a video consult with my doctor, who agreed that it sounded like COVID and we should handle accordingly. She put in a request for me to be tested. After a few days, I hadn’t heard anything, so I just started looking for testing sites on my own.

There are, indeed, some 50+ testing sites in LA County, though a surprising number are far away from me. But you needed an appointment, and all the online appointments were booked up, and you could only book up to 48 hours ahead. So I’d log in the next morning, and find that the “next” day of testing was already booked solid. Rinse wash repeat.

During the July 4 weekend, I started coughing up bloody phlegm. I couldn’t get any reliable info on whether this was standard shit, or a serious problem, and I decided it would be a really stupid death if I stayed home because I didn’t want to trouble anyone. (It would, however, be fittingly Canadian.) So I went to the ER, where they told me it was probably nothing to worry about — all the coughing causes some small tears which leads to bleeding, and unless you’re coughing up cupfulls of blood it’s no big deal.

They ran some tests including a chest X-ray, which all came back with no problems. (That was a huge relief, as my main concern was that the virus was eating the shit out of my lungs while I sat there thinking how mild my symptoms were.) The doctor decided to order one of the rapid response COVID tests, so I got the results in about an hour. I mentioned how much trouble I had trying to get a test elsewhere and wondered if it was because of the holiday weekend, but the doctor and nurses just shrugged and said, no, that’s pretty much how it goes. So in case you were wondering, “if you want a test, you can get a test” is pretty much a lie still. Unless you’re an NBA player. Or, I guess, unless you freak out and go to the ER and the doctor takes pity on you.

Anyway, they quoted a 30% false negative rate on that test. Incidentally, this was the “we’re going WAY back into your sinus cavity” test you may have heard about, though honestly it wasn’t really that bad.

So yeah, testing is not great.

Gratliff

Just getting the tests as emergency services was damn near impossible for a while. With the gf working in an ER in a hard hit area, she was actually fairly low on the testing priority list for the first few months. It started tearing through the police through the bottom half of the state, as well as medical personnel in the southeast counties around Detroit. She thinks she caught it early on. She had a bad cough for a few days just as shit was really starting to go down here and they didn’t have enough warm bodies to handle the rush of patients, but also before testing was really even available here. I haven’t experienced anything worse than maybe a scratchy throat, but with the worst symptoms ranging from slight irritation to taking a step into an ER with a sore throat and dying before you hit the ground, it’s hard to say. Funny story, they recently found thousands of masks in a storage area in the hospital she works at that they somehow weren’t aware of when shit was at its worst. Several employees there died from it. She anticipated the rush and got her hands on a case of KN95 masks at an obscene cost early on and ended up giving most of them to coworkers when the normal sources ran dry. Very clusterfucky. The shenanigans is still ongoing as well. Hospitals across the state are facing nursing strikes because they’re hoarding the stimulus money they received. Of course, the federal government hasn’t released like half of the stimulus money that was supposed to prop up the hospitals, so lolz all around. Also, in a lot of places, if they call in sick, they treat it as a possible infection and won’t let them come back for 14 days, so who knows how many nurses are currently working sick for any number of reasons.

Dunstan

’27 Yankees are within a game of the final after pulling off a 3-1 victory over the ’88 Dodgers. Earle Combs hit an RBI triple and scored in the 1st to give NY an Earle lead. They wouldn’t get another hit off Tim Leary (L, 2-5) until Babe Ruth’s solo homer (6) in the 7th, but it was enough. George Pipgras (W, 6-2) allowed just two hits in eight scoreless innings, and while the Dodgers scored one in the 9th and had the tying run on base with none out, Bob Shawkey (SV, 2) got out of the jam to preserve the win.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Not to spoil Tuesday’s Rolldown, but bah gawd it’s a slobberknocker.
/No idea if I’m using it properly

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just scored $7 worth of rebates on $22 worth of beer. Getting 24 for beers for $15 is awesome and I would like to do it again someday.

SonOfSpam

That $7 should go towards beer. Only fair.

Dunstan

I just spent… uh, a lot more than that… on 24 beers. To be fair, they’re 16 oz. each of local microbrew, delivered to my place, so I don’t exactly feel cheated.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You may also have good beer.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The beer I got is decent – 805 and Lagunitas Sumpin’ Ale.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sounds good, sometimes cost saving can be…….

More true with hookers, but you know what I mean.

Dunstan

I like 805. Lagunitas is not to my taste, but it’s a quality product.
The stuff I got is from Frogtown Brewing, near Dodger Stadium, I only discovered them during this pandemic, because they do delivery.

Game Time Decision

it puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hoose again

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Go Hoosers!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Sun don’t shine on the same dog’s ass everyday, but, mister, you ain’t seen a ray of light since you got here.”

Gratliff

It feels like the NHL doing the thing in Canada means there’s actually hope of it actually happening as planned. Soon, all professional sports the US consumes will be played in Canada. Definitely more convenient for the NHL to have it that way, so they can just change the city names for the Senators and Canucks to something in the southwest without having to physically move them.

litre_cola

South Calgary Senators! Charlottetown Coyotes!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ha ha ha ha! What kind of third-rate facility suffers plumbing damage from *rain*?” – a janitor at the Oakland Coliseum

Gratliff

Still funny
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I LOVE COCAINE!!

Brick Meathook

The first two minutes of this is pretty danged good:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9ZanAVF6dY

herodotus450

Hey I thought I told you to destroy that videotape!

Brick Meathook

These dead guys are such assholes

Horatio Cornblower

“What killed him?”

/Scotchy whistling in the corner while pushing something to the side with his foot.

Gratliff

So at what point does an angry mob hurl Brian Kemp into the ocean?

Horatio Cornblower

What is “not soon enough?” Alex.

Unsurprised

Never. This is America.

litre_cola

The MLS is back montage is great back for the fans, back for the trophies, back for this. Nothing about back for money.

Senor Weaselo

Well, it’s the MLS, so it’s not that one.

SonOfSpam

Also, anyone watching Maddow interview TrumpNiece?

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t stand Maddow.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is she as stacked as her uncle said she was?

SonOfSpam

The Red****s are only the second-worst organization for women in the greater DC area.

SNYDER/GRUDEN 2020

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sexual harrassment training seminar at Redrums’ headquarters (artist’s conception):
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SonOfSpam

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s true, Ivanka really does have nice skin.

Horatio Cornblower

So when the NFL doesn’t play this season, does Dak have to play for the Cowboys in 2021 for the franchise?

Just kidding; I don’t really care anymore.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In all seriousness, I think that is one of the NFL greatest fears – there is SO much out there in terms of other entertainment, that a single season without the NFL will make people realize how easy it is to live without it and they won’t come back.

King Hippo

Might I present the other side of the coin – they saw what numbers the Draft pulled, and want to be America’s version of the Eastern European oligarchs. Basically print all the moneys, make all the rules.

Owing an NFL franchise is the “penis envy convertible” on a logarithmic scale…

Redshirt

They’ll play. The Bengals will start 11-0 and then they’ll be a NFL COVID-19 Outbreak and the season will get pulped.

AJ Green will go to Tampa Bay, Dallas or Kansas City. Having the 32nd pick will mean the Bengals can’t draft an elite lineman, and Burrow will get hurt in 2021 Week 1 when Bobby Hart misses a block.

King Hippo

ahem, Non-Gendered Cowpersons its 2020 smgdh

Redshirt

2020: “Oh, come now. I’m not so bad.”
Me: “Yeah, you’re a nice throwback to the Old Testament years.”
2020: “Don’t say that. I hear a Mega Man comic is coming out.”
Me: “They’re resuming the cancelled Archie Comic’s Mega Man series?!”
2020: “Well…no.”
Me: “They’re starting over?”
2020: “Not quite. Its based on that new Mega Man cartoon.”
Me: “Go to Hell and take that DragonBall: Evolution-esque cartoon with you!”
2020: “Hey, I’m just a year! Don’t put all of this crap on me!”

Don T

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herodotus450

Many were named Kitty, however.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7aDstrDMf0

herodotus450

In regards to the report that I once went to Washington Redactds Franchise game, I was in fact only there to get directions on how to get away from there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This graphic is very single minded, however I cannot dispute its valid application in many instances.

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Redshirt

Not sure why the Washington _____________s even bothered to change their name. Compared to systemic sexual harassment, using an ethnic slur is pretty much improper semicolon use.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Banner

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I read the WaPo article. For any other workplace, it would be pretty horrifying. For a team that once engaged in human trafficking with its cheerleaders, it’s pretty vanilla.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

The Washington Respondents.

Game Time Decision

Washington Dispondants

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s really good. If some of the women get together for a class action, we might have to talk seriously about keeping that one.

Redshirt

Ah, so that’s why they’re changing their name.

ballsofsteelandfury

One of the comments in the Washington Post story says “Washington Redtubes”

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Redshirt

I just found out Melissa Rauch had a nude sex scene in “The Bronze”, though it may have been a body double. Rest assured, I will thoroughly review the available evidence to be sure. For science, of course.

ballsofsteelandfury

Please report back!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Rhythmic Test needs to be performed for accuracy.

Redshirt

“Every time I slammed into her,” [Sebastian] Stan said, “I was like, ‘Oh my God, are you okay?’ And she was like, ‘Just go for it.’”

It’s legit, but Rauch had a stunt double for some of the gymnastic positions.

SFW just have your Alt+Tab spreadsheet at the ready

https://www.vulture.com/2016/03/melissa-rauch-sebastian-stan-the-bronze-nude-sex-scene.html

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I will NEVAR not +1 a gif from The Young Ones

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Math is hard

Horatio Cornblower

It’s OK; she’s the designated driver.

TheRevanchist

Well, this just reaffirms what I thought: That Washington team is a big shithole.

Years ago, a person I met at some function was a fan of that team. He was adamant that they shouldn’t change the name, because it wasn’t a racist name. What a queef sniffer.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Queefs are fun to sniff…. I propose we go with “shit licker.”

ballsofsteelandfury

Seconded

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This also functions as a “number 2” joke, if you are so inclined.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Don T

The End? Bah. Just when the repartee was getting saucy. And lack of self-esteem reared its vulnerable head!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Obligatory, at this point. Sorry about the trump ad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gc4QTqslN4

Horatio Cornblower

Those seagulls work the Redacted’s front office.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wish this could be bannered.

Fronkenshteen

Washington Retracteds

Porky Prime

Now that I’ve gotten the jokes out of my system, I think Snyder’s safest bet to not only fix the name problem but add a “fuck you” rider to it would be to not select a new name at all, and just call the team Washington DC Football Club or Gridiron Club. It not only means that he doesn’t have to “honor’ Jack shit by inventing some sort of placating nickname, but if he keeps the team colors and the general idea of the previous logo with inflammatory elements removed, every Redacted fan who wants to be a douche about keeping the name will still call them the Redacteds, since the name would just be “retired” and not replaced. It would really be next level trolling from a sports owner.

herodotus450

Change the name every year to rake in those sweeet, recurring merchandise dollars.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

The people who wrote Raylan’s lines should be awarded a collective Pulitzer Prize.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

VJ Boyd used to hang around and answer questions at warmingglow back in the day. Those were some good times, before Netflix and the like ended the shared experience of watching a show the night it premiered and talking about it the next day

Brick Meathook

This guy talks a lot of sense. Elect him, Canada.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s4FpdorxVs

Brick Meathook

His platform has some good ideas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFA3N-aPmlg

Brick Meathook

This will help A LOT of Canadians:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBHja2eijV8

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litre_cola

Stealing this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I did.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Will not report.

WCS

“Owner of a Lonely Heart” was on the radio, and Lil’ WCS knew the lyrics.

DAD ROCK ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

It’s elementary school all over again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did you tip your waxer?