Your “Well, Look Who It Is” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

  • It’s a quiet day inside the NFL bubble.
    • Today was the deadline for players to voluntarily opt out of the 2020 season & have their contracts roll over to 2021.
      • A total of 66 players officially took the offer prior to the 4:00PM ET deadline.
      • Under the arrangement worked out between the NFL and the NFLPA, a player can still opt out later if one of the following applies:
        • if that player gets a new diagnosis that he has a high-risk condition; or
        • if a player’s family member dies, is hospitalized or otherwise moves to a medical facility because of COVID-19 or related condition.
    • PFT notes that there are economic incentives for some to opt out.
      • For example, if a player has a $10 million fully-guaranteed salary in 2020, a $10 million non-guaranteed salary in 2021, and half of the 2020 season is lost, the player would receive $5 million in 2020, and $5 million of his $10 million base salary in 2021 would become fully guaranteed.
        • He will actually make more guaranteed money in a year that would have been otherwise non-guaranteed.
  • Someone has finally worked out an approximation of how much money the NFL stands to lose from lost ticket sales.
    • The total amount is estimated to be $7.0 billion.
      • The sum comes from an estimation of the four hottest ticket markets, with an extrapolation for the other 28 teams.
        • In 2020, the hottest tickets were expected to be the Giants & Jets, the Eagles, and the Raiders.
          • These four teams were expected to reap $1.3 billion in initial sales & percentages off of resales.
      • TicketiQ then used each team’s resale markups from 2019 to extrapolate where those prices would have gone in 2020.
        • The loss is estimated at $218 million per team.

Hey look – it’s Beerguyrob, fresh back from a week of… a week. Here’s the Coles’ notes:

  • Riga had to have the dog ACL surgery. 
    • She’s on the shelf until November, at which point both she & Antonio Brown will be eligible to play.
    • Called a Tibial Plateau Leveling Osteotomy, or TPLO, they remove the remnants of the torn Cranial Cruciate Ligament & realign the tibia using a steel plate.
      • In two weeks she can have her cone removed.
      • In four weeks she can go for walks outside the yard for 15-minute walks.
      • In six weeks I return to school, so my summer is now resigned to monitoring her recovery.
  • I suffered a partially dislocated shoulder, which is actually worse than a full dislocation.
    • I was riding my bike, when a jaywalker on her phone walked into the lane in front of me. I hit a wall with my shoulder & heard three distinct pops.
      • Went to a clinic instead of the hospital, because of the COVID. If I still have restricted motion after this week, I have to go in & get a CT Scan.
  • Chores!
    • Instead of just drinking, I got two days of drinking & three days of scraping & removing loose paint from the garage before repainting.

Best laid plans…


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Vegas vs. St. Louis – 6:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360
    • Toronto vs. Columbus – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • Calgary vs. Winnipeg – 10:30PM | CNBC / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Los Angeles Clippers vs. Dallas Mavericks – 6:30PM | TNT / TSN2
    • Los Angeles Lakers vs. Houston Rockets – 9:00PM | TNT / TSN2
  • MLS is Back Tournament:
    • Orlando City SC vs. Minnesota United – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Toronto at Atlanta – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Cheatstros at Arizona or Cubs at Royals – 7:00PM | FOX
  • Southern Hemisphere tackle sports:
    • Super Rugby Australia:
      • Rebels vs. Brumbies – 5:00AM | TSN
    • Australian Rules Football:
      • Essendon vs. GWS – 5:30AM | TSN5 / ESPN+

And just like that, I’m done for the week. Balls has something special for you tomorrow, and I’ll be back on the weekend with my usual pre-taped goodness.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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[…] I wished for BGR to be rollicking in mirth. Rob ended up having a partially dislocated shoulder and Riga blew out her ACL.  So for tonight, Beerguyrob: I hope your mother is redecorating her place and slathers the guilt […]

Senor Weaselo
Mr. Ayo

This works for the entire division, right?

CHEFS
BONCOS
RIDERS
CHARGES

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“Whoa! Too much light, LOL!”

-J. Conrad

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.”
― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Nice shot.

Senor Weaselo

The crazy thing is he hit the bumper. The front bumper!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And it was not a British Pinto.

Last edited 4 years ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Mr. Ayo

Ah, that explains Beirut.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Raimund Harmstorf and Bud Spencer in They Call Him Bulldozer (1978) aka Uppercut

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Nailed it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

*Peter Parkour working without a web. Not colourized 1915.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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And when Johnny got a little older, all the Kermit puppet could express was shame.

scotchnaut

“The fisting will continue until everyone is happy, damnit!”

-The motto of Jim Henson’s “Muppet Camp”

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Miss Piggy: Come here and tell me about your problems, Kermi-wermie!

Kermit: NEVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME?!! NEVER!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

When the Action Puppet became stiff, crunchy, and stinky, Johnny’s mother had to put it in the wash with the other greens.

scotchnaut

Thirteen games into the MLB season-seems like it’s been going on forever…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Two new designs in the HRTN store. I’ll put a link in the HRTN comments tomorrow, which you’re free to ignore.

The link, not HRTN. That’s required reading.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THALT SHALL NOT BE IGNORED!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Counterpoint: I probably will be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, what happens on Apple’s “help” line is not in my control.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Ironically (or not) I gave up on Macs after my last one. I really liked the one I had, but then all of Apple’s attention went into the screen instead of RAM, processor speed and HD storage. So I had a PC built that blew away the (then-current) Macs for a few hundred less.

Then I bought a 1st gen Surface Book when they got cheapish as the 2nd gens were coming out, and now I spend far too much time working on it, since it allows me comfy couch time…

scotchnaut

THERE IT IS IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*Leafenfreude

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, I thought you meant the preserved penis of Tom Thumb.

scotchnaut

Mr. Thumb had a big digit.*

*I’ve been told he was not a ‘show-er’, he was in fact, a ‘grow-er’.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I believe you are correct; a man of that stature is prone to losing consciousness around attractive women.

Gratliff

Good night, Leafs

scotchnaut

[bows to Gratliff, extends hand]

“May I have this dance?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is this where they roll up to not lose moisture in desert climates.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

It is crazy how the NRA, a powerful special interest lobbying group, has completely imploded and can muster almost no public support in the face of legal fallout so soon after having so many psychopaths ready to die for them. In many ways, they’re just like the Klan.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Stupidity is infinitely more fascinating that intelligence. Intelligence has its limits while stupidity has none.
– Claude Chabrol

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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scotchnaut

I don’t get it. The Leafs are playing and I can’t find the game. I’m gonna check to make sure water is still wet.

litre_cola

SPortsnet Ontario. Ice Bombers and Ice Stamps are on SNW and the others

scotchnaut

Thanks so much. Looking for some quality Leafenfreude.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Said the pine to the ash.

scotchnaut

The Leafs can stick that “L” right up their ash.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Quality hate…. I will never let the botany joke go.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This brought me joy and peace,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkpP-nXFTQg

scotchnaut

LT was particularly harsh with qb’s that were on the downside of their careers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As I recall, he didn’t particularly treat anyone in that vocation with any heedfulness.

scotchnaut

I’m thinking of the more immobile qbs back then like Manning Sr, Bradshaw, Jaws and that Lions dude that LT grabbed by the jersey and flung into the endzone.

/god, that first year was so fun to watch…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, he rendered Jaws sterile. Twice a year. He still has nightmares.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also coke and underage hookers, but that is a different video.

Unsurprised

… and Taylor

Unsurprised

Low Tech

8 months ago

The days when you could actually hit a QB. LT is the GOAT.

Anyway, I thought it was innovative for Bradshaw to try and block with his head.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Last edited 4 years ago by Unsurprised
Gratliff

Oh good. Now Frank Thomas has Doug Flutie in his “Testosterone Makes 50-Year-Olds Fuck” commercial. Definitely don’t need old ass Doug running shirtless along a beach.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BANGIN’ MILFs!!

Gratliff

Just Eiffel Towering soccer moms with Bill

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We all have our special tastes.

ballsofsteelandfury

I love the Frank Thomas commercials because every single one seems to be the intro scene to a cuck porn movie.

Last edited 4 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Oh, Leafs. Oh, sad, hilarious Leafs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

George Bush is releasing an art book honoring immigrants. Presumably these will be Henry Kissinger and whatever Nazi scientists we inherited after WWII. I hate that motherfucker so much and my patience for the soft focus pieces on him in the past few years never existed in the first place. I don’t want to hear another word about that man unless it’s about him painting sad clowns in the fucking Hague.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed, him and his entire cabinet.

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Senor Weaselo
Unsurprised

Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me …

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s great when your son is smarter than you at that age.

Gratliff

Lot of opinions on Drew compared to Bob Barker, but I can’t think of any antifa Bob helped create

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Carey is one of the ones who complains about how badly conservatives are treated was my point.

Gratliff

Yes but that got in the way of my Bob Barker antifa musings

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did Bob take to the streets? I did not hear about this part among his sexual harassment allegations.

rockingdog

LOL what?

“You turn on the shower, if you’re like me, you can’t wash your beautiful hair properly. You waste 20 minutes longer. ‘Please. Come out.’ The water. It drips.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Facebook is more evil than expected. It’s the next generation of Fox News.

https://twitter.com/CraigSilverman/status/1291437989101543424

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s a MAGA Life Coach!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, the only sex he probably gets is whackin’ it, so why would he even need a condom?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are plenty of MAGA women, he has three kids and three baby mamas, everyone very responsible.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wanking would be far more responsible for this trailer trash than they’d ever be capable of.

Last edited 4 years ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

53%, bro

Viva La Tabula Raza

To forget my sorrows tonight, watching the Grand Tour “Seamen” trip down the Mekong on Amazon Prime. I love this show. If you haven’t seen it, it’s highly recommended.

Sharkbait

Anything those three do is amazing. James May also has a cooking show coming out on Prime, called Oh Cook.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I really dug his Our Man in Japan series on AP, already watched it thrice.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Did not know about this. Mexican fighter squadron in WWII.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6hpw4rbBrA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Seriously though, thanks for finding that. I listen to that guy occasionally, but don’t think I would have stumble there.

Don T

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Dunstan

Found a package of meatballs in my freezer that I didn’t know where there. Thank you, Dunstan of December 2018, your thoughtfulness is appreciated! I drink to your memory!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Look out, Balls of Steel – you’ve now got competition for Dunstan’s favorite balls.

Dunstan

Eh, it was December. I/he wasn’t exactly maintaining bikini-ready grooming standards. Steel is secure.

LemonJello

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Back in the day, I used to send postcards to “Future VLTR” back home here when I was on vacation.
“Dear future VLTR: you are back in Texas slaving over a hot desk, while I am still here on Cape Cod enjoying my vacation.
—Past VLTR.”
I was (and I guess probably still am) something of an insufferable asshole.

Dunstan

So you really really enjoy the Bill & Ted films, didn’t you?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Our favoUrite local restaurant did a taco pop-up due to most of CT not having power right now because the wind blew hard, or something, so we checked it out.

I have now had Mexican street corn and I have to say, assuming it consented, I would fuck it. I actually drove back back and got lunch for tomorrow after finishing dinner.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Don’t let peer pressure tell you who to date.”

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litre_cola

Wouldn’t the street corn fuck you?

Horatio Cornblower

I’d let it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Something something farmer’s daughter…or wife…I don’t remember, actual jokes are so last century.

Viva La Tabula Raza

When the conversation at the bar (something that used to happen) devolved to people telling jokes, I knew it was time to pay my tab and head for the door.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Dunstan

ONLY IN SOVIET RUSSIA!

Don T

Holla if you need paper towels. Keep candles handy, man.
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ballsofsteelandfury

Right?

Gratliff

I made the mistake of getting the gf elote once and now I get big sad eyes if we get any Mexican food and it’s not part of the meal

Senor Weaselo

Yeah, I was in Middletown last night (no idea how close that is to you) and the main road had all the stoplights out.

Redshirt

The Reds just gave up a touchdown and a field goal in one inning.

LemonJello

Tell ’em to suit up for the Bengals D…it’d be an improvement.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

I got $400 and an appointment book says it can.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow, that Cody Diablo writes just like people talk!

Viva La Tabula Raza

NO RELIGION, NO ANYTHING! HURT THE BIBLE, HURT GOD! HE’S AGAINST GOD, HE’S AGAINST GUNS! HE’S AGAINST ENERGY! —DJT, on Biden’s agenda.

I must say that if Joe Biden can really hurt God, we should respect his powers and elect him come November 3rd. That’s pretty bad-ass.

Sharkbait
Last edited 4 years ago by Sharkbait
Redshirt

Reds Manager and DH just got ejected for questioning a Called Strike Three so low you need a 4-Wood to hit it.

Last edited 4 years ago by Redshirt
Redshirt
Unsurprised

That certainly paints a picture

Senor Weaselo

But Angel Hernandez is in Philly!

Gratliff

Imagine how much freer my nights would feel if I would work during normal working hours instead of playing Yakuza games while listening to podcasts
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Your mom warned you about getting an eye shot out with PEZ!

litre_cola

Just wait til the body tattoo part. That’s going to hurt.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With distancing he’ll have to do his own, youch.

Redshirt

Went to a clinic instead of the hospital, because of the COVID.

My mother already did that. It took over four months, many failed diagnoses, her colon cramping for three months non-stop, two months of her pain being an “eleventy-J” on the Pain Scale of 1 to 10, her losing her job, and more hands and things shoved into her than an adult film star for them to realize she has two golf-ball sized tumors in her uterine wall. Thankfully, she’s better now after the hysterectomy, and the biopsy showing the tumors were benign. She’s was released from all medical restrictions Tuesday and she’s been going non-stop since.

May you have better Outpatient Luck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good news.

ballsofsteelandfury

So happy to hear that!

SonOfSpam

Jesus, what an ordeal. So glad for the benignity…benignitude…benignness.

Gumbygirl

I had a cyst on an ovary once. I was pretty sure I was gonna die, it hurt like nothing I’ve ever felt before or since. It went away after a few horrendous days, and never came back. Got some serious drugs for it from a sympathetic ob/gyn who had it too. Glad your mum is feeling good!

Last edited 4 years ago by Gumbygirl
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Saint Anthony had a huge cock.”

Redshirt

Please, Moose. You don’t have to call me Saint.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, Brett.

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

PIN. POINT. ACCURACY.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Yikes. Sucks to hear about the shoulder. Hoping you don’t need additional work. Though the surgery isn’t too bad.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, UConn cancelled their football season yesterday. Who’s next?

WCS

UCONN has a football team? Next thing you’ll tell me Penn State has a basketball team. Stop taking a piss…

Last edited 4 years ago by WCS
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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ballsofsteelandfury

If a weak, small, diseased tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

Again with the prom photos!

Redshirt

Calling UConn a football team is like calling the Bengals a professional team. While technically both are true, it still feels like it shouldn’t be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Didn’t really see it till you mentioned it…comment image

Don T

Astonishing depth snd subtlety.

Redshirt

Calling UConn a football team is like calling the Bengals a professional team. While technically both are true, it still feels like it shouldn’t be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The echo from voices past.

Redshirt

Okay, who invited Missingno to DFO?
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Horatio Cornblower

They did, and now everyone is praising Randy Edsall forgetting that a) this is the same Randy Edsall who dropped the team off in Arizona after the Fiesta Bowl Fiasco and flew to Maryland to take that job and b) that the only way Randy Edsall could avoid losing 11 games was to cancel the season.

In conclusion, fuck UConn football, fuck Randy Edsall, and thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Redshirt
Viva La Tabula Raza

I can think of a dozen or more that it would be more appropriate to happen to.
(come one Governor Abbottoir!)

Viva La Tabula Raza

That Berenstain guy bears watching.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This joke is underrated.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Happy Thursday.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Best luck to Riga in doggie rehab, getting the strength back up and regaining the previous 40 time, we can worry about the cone drill when the trainers clear. Part of being in playing shape is the confidence to cut and stop while taking it for granted.

Viva La Tabula Raza

4 hours ago, I watched my dog go to sleep, for the last time, at the vet’s office.
3.5 hours ago, it was scotch-thirty.
At this rate, I probably won’t be conscious long enough to make any really stupid comments tonight, but apologizing in advance if such a thing occurs.

WCS

(Channeling my inner tWBS)
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So, so very sorry. Sincere condolences.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry. That whole process sucks.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Thanks all. You know going in that it’s going to happen eventually, but it’s still tough when it happens. I was still thinking of calling and cancelling 30 minutes before the appointment, but the fact that she hadn’t eaten in several days was the final trigger. Way things are going, though, my other dog might outlive me…

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Redshirt

When the animal starts to suffer, that’s when you have to make the unmakeable decision. Most pets hold on longer because they don’t want to leave their owners. My mom’s cat lasted until he was twenty cat years old (96 human years), spending his last years eating, sleeping and lying next to Mom (and somehow catching a mouse, just to prove the Old Hunter still had some fight in him). One night, she saw he was struggling to go up the steps, and she said “You don’t need to stay here for me. I’ll be fine. If you have to go, go. Don’t worry about me.”

That night, his back hip finally failed and by the next morning he was gone. Even when he was passing away, he used all his strength to direct himself to my mom and hold out his paw as he went.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Mildred was a 16 yo spaniel mix. Over the last year she went noticeably downhill with vision and hearing; over the last 6 months she lost a lot of muscle mass and had a hard time getting around. Urinary incontinence while she slept got bad, I thought I might wear out my washing machine; but the vet had a med for that which really worked. But lately she was pacing a lot in the middle of the night and getting flummoxed by corners and not figuring out how to back out of them, and stumbling around like a drunk sailor (source: I have been a drunk sailor). All that I could handle, but it’s always been the familial philosophy that once the pet won’t eat anymore, that’s it. And that’s where it ended today. I’ll get over it, still a tough go. Scotch is my friend tonight!
Weird thing was, as the time to load her into the car approached, my other dog Gertrude really started acting strange, whining and nuzzling Millie, which never occurred before.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, if you’re hunting with Scotchy, you know there will always be enough to eat!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Or you will get Dick Cheney’d.

Viva La Tabula Raza

And I haven’t had a haircut in 5 months, I certainly look the part of the target hobo!

Col. Duke LaCross

Damn, best wishes to you buddy. You’ll see it again on the rainbow bridge.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m sorry, man. Remember the good times.

Sharkbait

Fuck man. So sorry. Be well tonight.

Don T

I’m very sorry, man.

litre_cola

Oh my internet brother, I am sorry. I honestly think a pet dying is worse than people. Unconditional love.

SonOfSpam

That;s because all pets are better than all people. It’s science.

Horatio Cornblower

That sucks, man. My former dogs and cats will welcome your dog over the Rainbow Bridge while you and I get drunk several thousand miles apart.

Vaya con Dios.

SonOfSpam

So sorry man. Knowing you did the right thing don’t help.

Drink all the scotch.

ArmedandHammered

Sorry to hear that you finally had to take this step, it is amazing that no matter how big or small our pets are, their passing leaves an enormous hole in our lives and hearts.