NFL News:
- The big news of the day is the speculation about whether the “Power 5” conferences will cancel their fall football seasons, and the ancillary impact that will have on the NFL.
- FYI – the “Power Five” are the ACC, Big-10, Big 12, Pac-12 and SEC.
- The ideal solution would be to move things to the Spring, as football is too much of a moneymaker to lose for a year (or more).
- “Nobody want(s) to be the first to do it,” a Power 5 coach told ESPN, “and now nobody will want to be the last.”
- The Big-10 or Pac-12 are expected to be the first conferences to officially make up their minds, and that’s expected this week.
- The Big-10 may have already decided, and will announce that fact Tuesday.
- Iowa & Nebraska are the rumoured dissenting votes.
- Jim Harbaugh has opinions about why the season should start on time, but until he can defeat OSU I don’t fucking care.
- The Big-10 may have already decided, and will announce that fact Tuesday.
- The Big-10 or Pac-12 are expected to be the first conferences to officially make up their minds, and that’s expected this week.
- “Nobody want(s) to be the first to do it,” a Power 5 coach told ESPN, “and now nobody will want to be the last.”
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- The orange White House monster has advocated for a season to occur, whenever it can.
Play College Football!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 10, 2020
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- CBSSports.com has a breakdown of where each football conference stands at present.
- Fun fact: due to COVID, Notre Dame has joined the ACC for the 2020 season.
- CBSSports.com has a breakdown of where each football conference stands at present.
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- If they do cancel Fall football, the NFL is prepared to amend their schedules to allow for more Saturday games.
- Normally, the NFL has to wait until the college regular season is done, because that’s governed by their anti-trust exemption and the Sports Broadcasting Act of 1961. (The Act applies to broadcasts of professional football, baseball, basketball, or hockey.)
- But, no college season = no legal violation.
- Likely, they would add one or two Saturday night games.
- A working theory has it that the upcoming Thursday Night teams would get their Sunday game pushed back to Saturday.
- For example, if it’s Bengals – Browns on TNF in Week 2, it could mean Week 1’s Saturday games are Chargers – Bengals & and Browns – Ravens.
- A working theory has it that the upcoming Thursday Night teams would get their Sunday game pushed back to Saturday.
- Also, there will be no live renditions of “The Star Spangled Banner” at games this year.
- Teams will obtain pre-recorded version to be broadcast into the stadiums.
- They will also cut back on the number of military & other demonstrations prior to kickoff.
- Normally, the NFL has to wait until the college regular season is done, because that’s governed by their anti-trust exemption and the Sports Broadcasting Act of 1961. (The Act applies to broadcasts of professional football, baseball, basketball, or hockey.)
I did a very stupid thing this morning – I watched “First Take”.
Normally, I don’t watch it, because I’m out walking the dogs and/or not desperate enough to switch to that channel. In fact, it’s only on in Canada because COVID took away so much content ESPN’s Canadian broadcast partner, TSN, needed something else to fill their morning. Also, I’ve never seen a show from the Skip Bayless era, which by all accounts is a good thing because his racism was barely concealed.
Anyway, in relation to the above CFB / NFL points, I caught them ‘discussing’ the topic. Here is what Stephen A. had to say,
and here was Max Kellerman’s response.
Clearly, lucid arguments on both hands. More to the point, Stephen A. told non-basketball & football athletes to take their scholarships & shut up, because they don’t make money, and stay out of the discussions about the sports that do fund their attendance. As a point to make, sure; as a cogent piece of television, it was more like this,
So, never again. Molly Qerim is pretty good, though. But still, I just feel stupider for having watched that.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Atlanta Braves at Philadelphia Phillies – 6:00PM | FS1
- San Francisco Giants at Houston Astros – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
- NBA:
- Toronto Raptors vs. Milwaukee Bucks = 6:45PM | ESPN / Sportsnet
- Indiana Pacers vs. Miami Heat – 8:00PM | TSN
- Denver Nuggets vs. Los Angeles Lakers – 9:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
- WNBA:
- Phoenix Mercury vs. Dallas Wings – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
- Chicago Sky vs. Seattle Storm – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
The Stanley Cup playoffs begin in earnest on Tuesday. I will have brief previews of each series up this week. And the Rangers won the Alexis Lafreniere draft lottery that Gary Bettman IN NO WAY influenced like David Stern did Patrick Ewing. Beyond that, please to be rejoicing in the Maple Leafs once again being denied promotion.
Toronto Maple Leafs, last 15 seasons:
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Lost 1st round
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Lost 1st round
Lost 1st round
Lost 1st round
Lost play-in— Tucker Boynton (@Tucker_TnL) August 10, 2020
Good times.
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART………….
— B. Walsh
“DAMN RIGHT!”
-Train driver
Hello brother Sol.
Too bad I don’t know how to read anymore.
Waitress Caught On Video Inserting Hot Dog Into Her Vagina
Now that’s a secret sauce. Eat your heart out McD’s
So I’m baked and the only thing I can use to communicate you all is my phone.
Who started that?
Anyway if somebody can post “balloon man” by Robin Hitchcock and the Egyptians that would be great.
Stupid phone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7hxAZTTEVw
Thank you good sir. Needed that too.
I should add that the people I talked to who were dismissive of Covid are in their twenties. So that’s cool.
I feel exponentially more decommpressed right now.
Needed this day so much.
What made today work?
The beach.
Youngest right and littlest right and distancing but a little marine layer followed by searing sun. Then pizza port and drinks and some of my very favorite offspring ever and I got the 2 best hugs I’ve ever had.
This is all carryout!
Noice!
SoCal beach parties are so awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOHc0e7-czY
I’m really happy for you. You deserve it!
Funeral potatoes??
Don’t think I’ve made funeral potatoes before.
/ scratches head
I can totally make that!
If you can’t, I’mma gonna Thelma and Louise my car over the break.
Should we record this?
Like Evel Knievel?
upper left map might better be “amigo” or “vato,” not “bro.” Just an observation, not a criticism.
Or “mano”!
Hey Balls, as a fellow angelino what would you suggest for me?
I’m team Dude by the way.
Phrasing!
Also Yes, Dude.
is C/S (con safos) still active?
Who you listen to is probably not very representative of who takes poles.
I’m sure they could have added every name for dude used to make the graphic completely meanimgless and unfunny.
I go between “buddy” and “bro,” depending on the situation. Also “palbert,” as per SBEmail.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-lM073r7DY
I love this era of men’s mag art. I can’t seem to recreate it, but I do admire it.
The graphic injuries, the ridiculous situations, the damsel, the stereotypes, yes.
Quiet down, you guys. I’m trying to listen to Mushroomhead and finish HRTN.
Suddenly he felt a chilling tingle of fear. He’d said too much…
Sadly accurate.
Sadly?
*Mind switches off*
Focus man!
Finished! It’s…a bit different this week.
last funny:
Biden appeals to millennials just by waiting so long to choose a partner
DJ Lo Hangerz
I was thinking Liquid Boonz, but ….
I missed it; “Support you local DJs”
So, I moped around the house and drank too much this past weekend after having my oldest dog put to sleep. Even the other dog, who never really bonded with the older one, seemed pretty morose, not eating well, staring at the walls and whining to no obvious end. That ratcheted up the self doubt, “could I have kept her around a little longer?” But it all came back to her having stopped eating. I’ve worked through the bumming out, and the other dog seems to at least started eating normally, but I’ve still got that shadow of a doubt. Still here, though…
Naw man, you did right. It’s the toughest thing in the world. Please stop doubting yourself, and drink as necessary.
You gave that dog a wonderful life she otherwise wouldn’t have had.
Absolutely. Second-guessing just makes you feel worse about an already-difficult decision. You did the right thing.
You did the right thing, who knows how much pain she was in. Also, anthropomorphizing a bit, I think when they cannot do something that they used to enjoy and they hate it.
When they stop eating it’s time. I knew my last dog, (not the recent one, but I have my eye on him. he knows what he did), was ready when she wouldn’t even eat scrambled eggs. It sucks, but you did right by her.
Yep.
As a guy who just dropped five grand on his dog’s leg, what you’re feeling is human but you know you did the right thing.
Besides loving them, that’s the greatest gift we can give them. We can’t even do that for our parents. She was lucky to have you, and lucky she didn’t have to suffer and die in pain and fear.
Would love to hear Ben Shapiro read the lyrics to some of the ditties on this opus:
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So, was he afraid of waxing the bishop?
It’s a joke on the song, you see…..
R.E.M. Lyrics
“Losing My Religion”
Oh life, it’s bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I set it up
That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
Every whisper
Of every waking hour
I’m choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I set it up
Consider this
Consider this, the hint of the century
Consider this, the slip
That brought me to my knees, failed
What if all these fantasies come
Flailing around
Now I’ve said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
That was just a dream
That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try
That was just a dream
Just a dream
Just a dream, dream
Here’s an actual concept album about fucking.:format(jpeg):mode_rgb():quality(40)/discogs-images/R-2027086-1259375191.jpeg.jpg)
Me, every time I’m forced to jerkoff in the shower…
Hottest thing about this is the guy getting “you’re” and “your” right.
Grammatically correct dirty talk is the best dirty talk.
30 years of the internet and defunding of education has certainly lowered the bar.
Betsy Devos likes the way you talk.
SHE’S MY NUMBER ONE FAN!!!
She preys for you…. to pay for religious school vouchers.
Otherwise known as “The Seamus Method”.
We can shut this down now.
Terrier-ass-up
Not only did the Spanish Flu end WWII, according to our History PhD in Chief, he did not mention that The Black Death of 1347 ended the Peloponnesian War.
Turn on the goddamn news.
Oh, like he knows the Peloponnesian War. Unless that was the one with the exercise bikes.
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Lost 1st round
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Missed playoffs
Lost 1st round
Lost 1st round
Lost 1st round
Lost play-in
Kinda like the first 30 years of my Patriots fandom.
According to most fans and the east coast media those years DO NOT EXIST, NO ONE DENIES THIS.
The actual existence of those years lets me rationalize my fandom of a complete asshole of a team over the course of this century.
I wonder if the Dodgers piped in crowd noise gets much louder in the 4th, in order to maintain a sense of realism.
And then fades to nothing after the 7th inning stretch.
Did they flush all the toilets and urinals between innings?
Tremendous.
Easier to hear the Padres’ crowd, of course, without all those banners in the way.
I made it to 52 seconds of the arguing 3-year-old before I reached the point where one of my kids would have gone through a wall.
Are you watching an old game with TB12 whining to the ref?
Isn’t that any old game with him in it?
That’s why I said “an” old game, which would mean ‘any’ old game, just not more than one at a time. Maybe it does not mean this in Texas.
I’ve been stuck in the house basically since mid-December, so I don’t even know what anything means even in Texas. My brain is like a fucking canned stewed tomato. I have a hard time now doing anything proactively, always reactive. Fortunately, I have apparently instilled a great deal of loyalty in my staff over the last seven years, I guess because I evidently am not a dick like many of the other PMs. I’ve explained to them my worries about what I think are my mental health issues, and they are covering for me admirably.
Well that took a turn into your biography TMI.
Maybe this will help, it certainly helps me:
I had two COVID sufferers and two people on the phone who said it’s not a big deal anymore.
I hope this virus wipes this stupid fucking country off the map.
Fuck those two people who don’t think it’s a big deal. Plain and simple
With a rusty chainsaw.
Apropos of nothing, outside of maybe I’m phasing into “Dad Shows,” Penn & Teller’s Fool Us is a lot of fun.
On a scale from “Holmes on Homes” to “This Old House” where are you?
You want Homes to catch AIDS???
Isn’t that what already killed hi…Oh, that Holmes!
Jinkies indeed!
Get you some Penn & Teller Bullshit. Same P&T, plus nudity.
Fine, just fine…Kings will get the better player at #2 anyway.
Kurt Browning or Johnny Weir, we’ll take either.
One more Leafs joke:
https://twitter.com/corwinmc/status/1292965620712198145?s=19
Did the Blue Jackets post the coffin dance meme after the final score? Yes, they did.
https://twitter.com/BlueJacketsNHL/status/1292667631745589248
“Also, there will be no live renditions of “The Star Spangled Banner” at games this year.”
Just play this on the Jumbotron at every game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKAwPA14Ni4
You think she has crabs?
A LOT of crabs.
Well, at least she isn’t wearing square pants.
She may have lobsters.
Khaaaaaaannnnnnn!!!!!
Holy shit that is hideous.
Aww, and I got my pitchfork all sharpened and dipped in feces for nothing.
Oh no, still some uses.
Oh, hey. Lebanon’s government has fallen. Let the imperialism olympics commence!
Don’t we get return rights?
—France and the Sykes-Picot Agreement
So this is the greatness of DFO in a nutshell. Wry and pointed comment on the current events/politics of the day followed by a smart ass comeback based on more knowledge of history, than probably 99% of the country. So after a long day in the trenches (not really, I work from a laptop these days), scanning the posts here always makes for good fun. Now it’s quittin’ time and there’s some Balvenie around here I need to pour for medicinal reasons.
Balvenie Doublewood is my favoUrite Balvenie. I mean, out of the ones that cost less than a hundred bucks per bottle.
DFO: Come for the football, stay for the high brow dick jokes.
High brow? Is that when you are really surprised to see the dick…… joke?
A lot of anti Manchester United people are pissing and moaning about United winning on another PK. To that I say, It’s not United’s fault they spend more time in the box than Ron Jeremy. The team they played today didn’t even get a shot on net!
I watched the whole thing. It’s only because of Copenhagen’s keeper that it went to OT in the first place. He played out of his mind.
Yeah, one of the reoccurring themes of this long season is that whenever United play a lesser team, their goalie turns into fucking Prime Peter Schmeichel.
Was that worse than listening to Ben Shapiro review the new song WAP by Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B?
Gonna be hard to top Shapiro claiming wet pussy is a medical condition on Twitter today
“Lemme just have a grab and see for myself.”
—DJT
I have never seen a greater/worse self-own in the history of Twitter. Essentially “My wife is a medical doctor and she told me that only women with yeast infections get wet during sex.”
Buddy, those kids aren’t yours.
Congratulations to the Ice Giants for winning Lafreniere. If Lafreniere lives up to the hype, hockey might actually grow in America
“Listen, if playing hockey in a shopping mall didn’t grow the sport in America nothing will!”
-Hartford, probably
/Sad “Brass Bonanza”
found a funny:
COVID: you can stop me if you pay everyone to stay home and do widespread testing
REPUBLICANS: hmmm let’s get rid of the mail
That’s not really funny.
Unfortunately, it’s really frightening.
Is there more room for Toronto schadenfreude?
https://twitter.com/wyshynski/status/1292649708998074369?s=19
“More room? I’m in.”
-the good folks at “Lebensraum”
She looks like my kind of crazy. You just have to super glue her to the bed so you can escape the next morning.
Since it is from Alice in Wonderland, she is mad as a hatter.
That pun was too horrible to remain.
The GIF is actually from Alice in Wonderland.
The worse the pun the better.
Fun fact: she dated Heartbreakers drummer Stan Lynch for five years after meeting him on the set of this video shoot.
Aubrey Plaza (born June 26, 1984) was not born when the video was made, so I doubt it. Louise Foley is the one you are thinking about through the mercury induced haze.
Sorry I was a little vague there. Yeah, the blond in the TP&HB video was the one I was talking about… Let them eat cake.
When you said “she” you had no idea who was in the gif, just had a random association. SOP. Good job, carry on.
Came here for the Rangers happiness.
I was pulling for Winnipeg or Minnesota if not New York
“That’s an odd thing to masturbate over.”
-Mr. Hippo
“Hey, Winnipeg is really under-rated.”
—Burton Cummings and Randy Bachmann and the rest of the Guess Who.
Would like to go back one more year in Leafs playoffs history
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoxerCRCj1Q
ABSOLUTE DEATH OF CROWD. I loved that moment so much. JR just about had to bodily drag Kapinen back on the bench so he could go out and be the OT hero. This also led to the insanely good Flyers-Lightning ECF, which remains one of my favorites despite the outcome. Game 6 in particular was extremely good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRh072nLyLw
Flyers’ black sweaters were very underrated imo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nb-FudPN5NA
Well. That takes the sting out of getting shitcanned by Carolina.
“Thank you God!”
Sorry, Hank.
Make him an assistant to Benoit Allaire. Get his name on the Cup
Guy with tie = me.
Punchy female = 2020.