Damn right it’s on! Whew, what a frickin’ ride to get to this point. I just want to thank all the hardcore commenters that kept this thingy of ours afloat when there was so little sports going on that we resorted to Korean baseball and made the best of it. Things aren’t normal-far from it, but a veil of normalcy in the form of the return of NFL football has dropped on our collective heads. I’ll take it. I’ll take it and run with it, thankyouverymuch.
I’m curious, perhaps like many of you, about how the crowds will look/sound, the response to kneeling, coaches interactions with refs, the quality of play, how Covid will be managed, and a hundred other things. Let’s tackle all that shit down below but for now we need to go…TO THE GAME!
Texans vs. Chiefs:
-the spread is 9.5/10 which seems about right (because Vegas does what it does). The game script to me looks like the Chiefs getting on all their horses early and Watson and Co. struggling to keep up. I think he’s got a shot at it because KC’s secondary is not quite the same unit that came together at the halfway point of the season.
-Both David Johnson (play him while he’s upright) and Edwards-Hilaire should get plenty of touches in the form of catches out of the backfield. The rookie will get some because coach Reid is a master of putting his rb’s in space and DJ will do the same because even a coach like Bill O’Brien knows that the Chiefs gives up tons of yards (100 catches for 951) to them guys wandering out from behind the qb.
-what of the absence of Hopkins? What does it really mean for the Texans O? Well, in the two games they played vs. one another last year Hopkins came up with 12 first downs. That’s huge for a team. Right now Cooks is a game-timer and I would think the medical staff wouldn’t take the chance. What’s left? There’s Fuller, Cobbs and Kenny “He’s still in the league?” Stills-not much to look at. They’ll put it together as a unit over the course of the season but tonight is not the night.
-Players props, you say? Take the over on everything regarding Kelce. Due to injury he’ll be defended by Lonnie Johnson Jr, the owner of the very worst PFF score for a cb with 30. No one else was under 40.
As I always say, if you’re new to the site please say hello-we have a shit-ton of fun here on game days. If you happen to already have an account and haven’t said ‘boo’ in a while, we’d love to see your smiling text. Have at it, one and all. We’re back and I’m real fucking happy.
REPRESENT!
Who is American here on this open thread, and who is Canadian?
Mexican by birth.
American by citizenship.
Canadian by my love of maple syrup and hockey.
oh man, you NEVAR go Full NAFTA smh
Balls is my favorite Mexican
Awwww!
CORRECTION: Balls is my favorite Mexican after Charlton Heston.
I am from teh American SOUTH, so like…5/3rds?
Hippo is my favorite hillbilly
THAT’S THE TOP SHELF STUFF WOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Tejano!
(Whispers to Brick): Is this so we know who to keep, and who to hold ransom for their precious, precious mapley syrup?
I’m in the PNW, so can I claim dual-citizenship?
INDEED. How on fire is where you are?
The skies are smoky, but we’re lucky (so far) in that the fires are well away from us. I’m really feeling for everyone caught in the wake of them, it’s just devastating for a lot of small, rural communities.
US fucking A
American.
I’m the most superest American that you ever didn’t met. Prove me wrong.
I’m an American with a Canadian passport and can speak passable Qubecois. I’ll come prove you wrong, Scotchy. Holes will be dug.
Not sure if you’re being confrontational or feeling out a potential partnership. Either way, I’m listening…
I can play it either way, Scotchy.
USA, but at this point I would prefer to be a New Zealander.
I haven’t seen that many Texans fruitlessly protecting something since The Alamo.
Seriously, there were four defenders within arm’s length of Kelce.
They’re re-enacting Goliad instead.
Oh I get it now, “Duke” Johnson is a character that David Johnson puts on when third down comes around
It’s his alter ego for when he plays sax in smoky jazz clubs and wants to stay on the down low.
I’m ready for that hot, wet, sax.
“The key to Andy Reid’s success? You think he’s going one way and then he goes another.”
-Defensive Coordinators
-Buffet Restaurant Waitresses
A friend of mine actually drove the bus for a school catering for the deaf. He was recounting a near accident that had occurred when I asked him if the kids screamed in ASL and what it looked like. He did not find it funny.
Kelce was a good FF pick…
This robinson I call him the Rockbiter cuz you’d think these strong hands
Maybe stop throwing to 11?
The old, leather lunged crone in the Bud Light commercial is a Browns fan.
That’s about right.
Uber for the win
Collinsworth’s transformation into a full-on analytics nerd has been a thing to witness.
A terrible, terrible thing.
Remember – he co-owns Pro Football Focus. Why do you think he keeps referencing it?
“This Edwards-Helaire, I call him Hilarious because he reminded me of Kevin Hart when he told me I walk like a white guy.”
Just when you thought Miley Cyrus couldn’t get any white trashier, she gets that haircut.
She so trashy that she disgusts me. That is saying A LOT!
Apparently Miley Cyrus is up to 2 packs a day.
Hoping she dies from it.
Of condoms?
Nice!!
Switched to the unfiltered Luckies, because it kills covid.
teh libtard JEW media just don’t want u 2 noe THANKS OBAMA!!!!1111
she….uh…ain’t gon’ age gracefully
David Johnson: fuck you haters!
Me: fuck you, you touchdown vultering shit!
When did Robot Chicken start doing McDonalds ads?
When McDs knuckled under & came up with the “Travis Scott” meal.
They could be giving out gold plated blowjobs where Dune is showing, and I still wouldn’t go.
Do you get to keep the plates?
Don’t let your hate for Sting blind you. This Dune looks good.
Unless they hand out cheat sheets at the door, it’s still not gonna be as fun as the ’80s version.
I can’t think of a big time sci fi blockbuster I wanted to see less.
I’m voting for Biden because he’s a white man.
And unlike Trump, Biden’s veep isn’t a sniveling bitch cunt.
So you’re why Hillary lost?
I voted for Hilary in 2016, who never should have been a candidate for public office ever. Despite her intelligence, she never had the temperament for it, and because of her we have been suffering under Trump.
Just a joke. I swallowed hard and voted for her too. And I agree, a total shit candidate that people were forced to accept instead of, you know, letting the people find their preference.
Who’d YOU vote for, tomsellecksmoustache?
Trudeau?
Robin Masters probably, gotta keep him from coming home.
I got a chain email saying that we should write in John Edwards or someone in our family would die. So far I’m in the clear.
Oh shit, touchdown! When did that happen?
David Johnson. Yay.
Wow, great run by Arian Foster in a short yard situation.
Namaste
I once had a professor who posited that the Watts riots were caused by shows like the Brady Bunch.
And when he was done, i was fucking amazed. But, I was probably so hungover I was seeing worms crawling up my leg.
Tiki idols are nothing to fuck with.
His argument was that the Brady Bunch showed middle class white folks who had it all, etc.
Especially if Greg’s surfing those gnarly 14 inch waves.
My first Biden ad. Here in Texas. Are we really in play?
I got one in California. That’s a waste of money, I think.
ok, must have been a national buy, then
They give me a glimmer of hope, so I’m ok with the waste.
Yeah, wtf?
Wish he were spending it on field operations instead.
Looking up from the 2016 playbook.
What?
methinks he’s spending on EVERYTHING
Not so far.
But they did finally update their website today, so at least the web admin is on the job.
Its to encourage the likely voters to actually vote and help down ticket.
If Trump’s approval tanks back down to its lowest point, maybe.
Saturation coverage in North Cakalaky, so I’d guess you would have to be on the “reach” list.
I’m in Maryland, just got one.
I mean, we got one in WA, which is not remotely in play.
I got it in Australia, so they’re just blanketing everyone :p
Got one in Ohio.
“You betcha!”
-Kid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFMUaJ8Xtvs&list=RDBaXIGEAXyfc&index=2&ab_channel=kennylavish
Come on in and have a seat.
Healing Crystal’s what?
certainly not her hemmorhoids
I was wondering too, but then I figured the chakra runs through the anus, but I have not looked that up yet.
Actually, there IS an anal chakra…
My “survival instinct” is to keep large objects out of my root chakra.
This makes my joke even better.
Her boyfriend “accidentally” entered unexpectedly.
Good: I grilled excellent steaks in the rain.
Unforgivable: The rain diluted my flagon of bourbon.
You need to replace your flagon with the skulls of your vanquished enemies.
They’re all at the blacksmith, who’s coating the interior with solid pewter.
Heavy rain at my mom’s house in Arlington Virginia
Look at Mr. Fancy Pants adding “spring water” to his whiskey.
Tim Kelly ready to star in a remake of Cheers as Norm
Norman.
Was that said as Shelley Long?
chuh chuh! I hoped the reference wouldn’t be too dated
Not for this old guy.
Will Fuller made a catch and appears to still be ambulatory, +1 for my fantasy team.
David Johnson a bad ass. 10 catches tonight?
Saw a player prop at 2.5. I larfed.
FYI, Vegas-Dallas is still 0-0.
I just realized I haven’t watched a commercial in like six months.
I still can’t believe the Texans traded DeAndre Hopkins.
Fucking Bill O’Brien
First Anteater catch.
Guess who is reporting from home.
Moose, are you trying to summon Feck?
You can’t spell Dune without using the word shit
Is Collinsworth more annoying than covid?
If only we could make him go away by wearing masks…
Cris causes more long term brain damage.
Are the players not wearing masks?
Has anyone gone to Walmart and gotten Pickle Rick Pringles?
Yes, that’s a thing.
Best damn episode ever. I have watched it multiple times.
I like the sound of this.
God damn it. If those nerds go and flip their shit over this like they did after that episode with the Szechuan sauce, then it’s time to burn it all down.
No, but you did the right thing by telling me.
Apropos of nothing, I won 10K a few weeks ago in a Pringles contest to guess a mystery flavor.
NICE!
What was the flavour??
Carbonara
September: We still don’t know what a catch is.
November: For health and safety reasons, until we determine the outbreak is contained, the quarterback and receiver will be using different footballs.
Andy Reid face shield is flippable to convert into a rib bib
Bill O’Brien’s chin violates FCC regulations. That’s why he has to wear the mask.
Gape porn is popular.
The human sneeze guard
Andy Reid’s Extra LaboUred Breathing tonight, ah reckon
NFL VAR still takes forever.
but is a little less corrupt
I’ll watch American Ninja when they start firing live rounds right over their heads. Until then, fuck it.
Love that Andy took part of the buffet home to make into PPE for this game.
I’m surprised there’s no Gravy stain
Gravy Stain early music was really good, then they went commercial.
We’re still in the first quarter, baby.
He did not complete the process of cradling the ball to his thorax and collided with Earth disattuned to the oblate spheroid with which the passer had entrusted him thereby not counting as a reception or ballsnatch.
Fucking early adopters, he should have waited till the mark of the beast was mandatory.
It will be easy to turn that TR into a CH.
Oh good, more Baker Mayfield commercials
Fuck kinda refereeing is that?
The NFL kind.
awesome throw, not a catch