Hey, yesterday didn’t suck, ya know? Oh, maybe your team sucked but the day? Nah. And tonight we have a couple of young-ish qb’s whose careers really could go either way, facing off against some D’s that could cause some skittishness. How will they do? [shrugs shoulders] I don’t know but let’s have the old looky-loo, shall we?
Steelers/Giants:
Last year New York gave up the third-most turnovers in the league and the Steelers had the most sacks and takeaways. This doesn’t look good. I’ve been told that Watt, Heyward and Dupree are jonesing for Danny Dimes. Three new faces are featured on a rebuilt offensive line that was a rebuild last year that was a rebuild from the year previous. Yikes. Stunts, blitzes, bull rushes-Pitt is going to make this game as physical as possible, get up early and win going away. I see a doubling up along the lines of 36-18 or 40-20.
Titans/Broncos:
Drew Lock got five games under his belt and had 7 tds and 3 int’s which seems like typical ‘rookie under fire’ numbers. It looks as though Courtland Sutton is a ‘not-go’ tonight so rook Jerry Jeudy and second-year te Noah Fant might have to do some heavy lifting-a sign of things to come? [looks at wr backups] Tim Patrick? Diontae Spencer? DeaSean Hamilton? Wow, your depth chart might be as skinny as the Giants! The Von Miller-less D has to somehow stay away from third and short situations because the Titans (using you-know-who) were the best in the league there once Tannyfanny became the starter.
Enough of my barking-it’s you guys that make the site the delightful place that it is. Do that thing you do.
Praise Shan’klor!
Bears fans call those Half Parkeys
And praise Doink!
–Blair Walsh
HARF HARF HERE CATCH CATCH THIS JEW JEW
That made me laugh way too much.
I thought Edelman still played for New England.
Where is the MNF cat?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6PdZob719k
Floatdown
HARF CMON ZEBRA MAN I KNOW WHAT 30 SECONDS IS
WHY ZEBRA MAN TREAT BEN LIKE COED IN BATHROOM AND NOT LISTEN TO BEN TELL HIM “NO!”
“TJ Watt is just a football player that makes football plays.”
Keep that crap at the college level, Herbstreit.
I hate that announcers constantly slobber over TJ Watt and I REALLY hate that he’s that good.
“That was a football player making a football play right there.”
That’s some insightful commentary.
I am going to go out on a limb here and say that I am enjoying these announcers. Please do not throw rotten tomatoes in my direction.
Seems like a scheme to get yourself some dinner.
Nah, had a 2 day hangover so chucked a sickie at work and made homemade pierogis tonight.
Pierogies!!! I’m making fried rice with some leftover pork loin.
They haven’t annoyed me yet!
DANIELCEPTION!!!
I miss Manningface after an INT.
“Young Daniel-son throws on and then throws off.”
-Pat Morita
1) Hippo purchases The Ben at auction (first time ever).
2) The Ben finally is The Cooked.
3) You’re welcome, humanity.
So far, going back to yesterday, it seems like the individuals that are in charge of playing the crowd noise recordings are doing a pretty job.
HARF HARF THE BEN IS GLAD THIS IS ONLY PRESEASON PLAYTIME
No brain no pain
Well, time to find a new hobby on Sunday. Does anyone recommend religion or is that a fad?
Sunday mornings I usually smoke a bowl and have a glass of wine on my balcony which overlooks a LDS church. Those people look fucking miserable. Don’t do religion, looks like a lot of work on some old hunches.
I just play the orthodox Jewish events, I have no fucking idea what they’re talking about since it’s all in either Hebrew or Yiddish, depending on the day.
Carlos Castaneda.
The Premier League puts religious fanaticism to shame.
I’m not enjoying this at all.
I mean, Slayton is the Giants only deep threat. Pitt D sleeping.
If you are a hobo in Northern Ontario I would be careful tonight. There could be some celebratory offerings for the Gods if the Gints keep this up.
HOLY FUCKING BANANAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jump the Shark.
Garrett has Dupree in IDP league
Will there still be juice boxes and orange slices at halftime for the Jints?
Oh good. At the “Latinos For Trump” event in Arizona tonight, one of the participants is Arte Moreno (owner of the Angels). That is depressing.
YOUR Angels of Anaheim California!
MY Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Orange County California United States Earth.
Does he own the Greater Western Sydney Giants of Australia as well?
of the Solar System, of the Milky Way, of the Local Group, of the Virgo Supercluster, of the Universe.
SO fucking happy we’re in the Virgo Supercluster.
Angels?
https://vimeo.com/456199614
Did nae know the Oasis brothers played proper footy.
He said, “Did you know that, SonOfSpam?”
I said, “MAYBEEEEEEEEEEE”
Fuckballs! Claypool is gonna be something.
Or My Name is Mud
Maybe he’s a racecar driver.
That’s one way to get someone to sit on your face, I guess.
This Deadpool/Gumby cross-over is just asking for a little too much suspension of disbelief.
I know everybody hates Brady’s guts, but at least nothing gross like Peyton or Ben’s sexual abuse shenanigans about him has surfaced.
Yet.
Mouth kissing son I guess could be considered, I guess.
True, there are multiple ways to detest someone.
I still hope he fucking dies.
Mortality is about to hit the Ben like a minivan off an unhelmeted skull.
Boomf. Knee.
It was almost as if he was on a motorcycle.
Great defense. Time for “Special Teams.”
My oldest son is blessed/cursed with an ABUNDANCE of empathy. This past Saturday, we loaded up at Costco. As we were grabbing stuff in the “previously alive proteins” scection, he happened upon a cellophane tray containing 4 gorgeous sea bass; heads and all. Wellllll….a lot socked home on him at once, and it overwhelmed him. Can anyone direct me towards a book for children that discusses the proper way to appreciate the sacrifice of those animals we’ve chosen to eat? I’m thinking Japanese or Native American culture? Anyway thanks.
I’ve got a documentary about the realities of fish farms that should illustrate how death is the most humane thing that could happen to them, if that helps?
It hurt him deeply. Seeing those fish lying in a tray. I asked if he’d like us to go vegetarian and he said no. He’s a sweet little guy. He’s 8.
I guess that’s okay. My oldest is a 9.7.
Would it help to take him fishing, and explain the proper way of using a fish you caught? i.e. Using all of the meat, then creating stock from the bones/head and teach him the importance of not wasting anything to make the sacrifice worth it?
It would. And his grandpa is just the guy to fish with him. I could take over for the stock part. My wife & I thank you guys. He’s a beautiful kid. Any human, in this day and age, with empathy/sympathy naturally occurring in their true nature is a soul to be nurtured. Keep the suggestions coming. I’m here all night.
Don’t ever let him see The Cove.
Get that boy some Hemingway.
Read “The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas” at bedtime and them tell him at least those bass weren’t gefilte fish.
Maybe one of those conservation/pro-hunting orgs like Ducks Unlimited would have something on their website?
Vodka, gin or wine?
Yes.
Yes have some
It’s not like you have to be on your game on a Tuesday, smgdh…
Especially working from home
Or?
When you forget if you’ve already had a pill, better play it safe and take another.
/this has been your Hippo Moment
-Neo, now super confused
Evening lizard people, am I gonna miss anything good while teaching?
A corporate paycheck?
The closest I get to that has been a public college’s paycheck.
Sure as hell isn’t competent football.
Big Ben is now more famous for being “guy who walked Stormy Daniels back to her place after she fucked Donald Trump” than “guy who got away with multiple rapeytimes” and that’s a really nice promotion for him.
If you’re in a room with Donald Trump and Ben Roethlisberger and you only have one condom, what do you do? What DO you do?
Jump out the window.
“HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!”
That’ll buy you a couple hours.
I miss the days of Cowher football when the third string fullback would have been fielding punts and returning it on pure grit.
Big Ben going to throw a Pick 3 here
I’m sure he’s going to pick his nose more than that tonight.
I hate both these teams. My Steelers hate dates to the Bradshaw days, NYG hate is more recent (Patriots fan). At least I don’t have to look at that slack-jawed yokel that owned us in two separate SB occasions. Fingers crossed for tie.
[makes strange hand motions]
“Watch me turn 7 points into 3 points…”
-Jason Garret
/Horatio’s eye begins violently twitching
I figure there are going to be a lot of check downs with NY. Here’s hoping Engram goes for 400 yards and 5 TDs, and I might win one fantasy game this week.
Only regrets not calling a corner fade on first
Giants Offense still shitty, got it.
How they held that to a field goal will forever amaze me.
Fowler/Herbstreit was a good idea.
Broadcast needs more Booger and Boogermobile.
He got his booth job back, at least. Booger in a crane was fun, though.
Naked bootleg always works. Or your QB dies.
found a funny:
“are you willing to die on this hill?” idk maybe how steep is it
D’OH
Masked Princeton Red is Trestman-level creepy
Rick Perry smart-guy glasses are a nice touch.
Worked for me!!
—Latrell Sprewell
Mmm yes a splendid little appetizer of what’s to come off my tasting menu
One of the 8-10 North Cakalaky nights per year that I can comfortably leave the windows open.
How the etc.
STILLERS FOOBAAWWWLLL
Woohoo! I think this is going to be an ass whoopin.
Or, a patented Mike-Tomlin-Bed-Shitting. Though, those are usually saved for midseason.
If you want to feel confident, I picked the Giants to lose this game in a loser pool. They just don’t match up well at all vs. Pitt.
Yeah, he is a known sheet shitter, but I think the rapist feels he has something to prove. And he does!
He hasn’t looked good in the first few games of the last couple of seasons, from what I recall. With him coming off the injury, let’s see how long Rudolph is subbed in and hit repeatedly with a helmet by anyone on the field. Or off the field. He’s got a really punchable face. Not Rivers punchable, but punchable still.
Yeah, deffo “Too Soon, Abed!!”