Your Monday Night Football Doubleheader Open Thread

Hey, yesterday didn’t suck, ya know? Oh, maybe your team sucked but the day? Nah. And tonight we have a couple of young-ish qb’s whose careers really could go either way, facing off against some D’s that could cause some skittishness. How will they do? [shrugs shoulders] I don’t know but let’s have the old looky-loo, shall we?

Steelers/Giants:

Last year New York gave up the third-most turnovers in the league and the Steelers had the most sacks and takeaways. This doesn’t look good. I’ve been told that Watt, Heyward and Dupree are jonesing for Danny Dimes. Three new faces are featured on a rebuilt offensive line that was a rebuild last year that was a rebuild from the year previous. Yikes. Stunts, blitzes, bull rushes-Pitt is going to make this game as physical as possible, get up early and win going away. I see a doubling up along the lines of 36-18 or 40-20.

Titans/Broncos:

Drew Lock got five games under his belt and had 7 tds and 3 int’s which seems like typical ‘rookie under fire’ numbers. It looks as though Courtland Sutton is a ‘not-go’ tonight so rook Jerry Jeudy and second-year te Noah Fant might have to do some heavy lifting-a sign of things to come? [looks at wr backups] Tim Patrick? Diontae Spencer? DeaSean Hamilton? Wow, your depth chart might be as skinny as the Giants! The Von Miller-less D has to somehow stay away from third and short situations because the Titans (using you-know-who) were the best in the league there once Tannyfanny became the starter.

Enough of my barking-it’s you guys that make the site the delightful place that it is. Do that thing you do.

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King Hippo

Diamond Joe’s ads…really don’t seem that bad??

Beerguyrob

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WCS

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Fronkenshteen

Ben Roeth couldn’t escape a drunk frisky woman at a wedding.

Horatio Cornblower

He wouldn’t try to, either.

King Hippo

HARF sorry lady The Ben find Jeebus

LemonJello

THE BEN ASK JEZUS TO DO THE WATER TO WINE TRICK. HARF!

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, Kirk, we’re all real surprised that Ben held the ball too long and tried to force something to happen instead of taking ‘no’ for an answer and waiting for the next play.

Unsurprised

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Dunstan

I feel like COVID safety protocols are not being followed in that fumble recovery.

LemonJello

Is it a palpably unfair act penalty to start coughing in the pile?

ArmedandHammered

I expected the giggling dog to show up on the screen that was such a wounded duck.

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Horatio Cornblower

I was literally just leaning forward to type “this has been a really impressive drive by the Giants and Jones”, and then Jones did that, and now I’m typing this.

Gatoraids

Call that play Jonestown cuz we were really drinking the Kool aid there

Horatio Cornblower

Oh fuck, that’s good.

litre_cola

Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha. WHat the fuck are you thinking Mr. JOnes???

Dunstan

Philip Rivers is calling his lawyer to sue about trademark infringement for that floatception

ArmedandHammered

He has no case, this happened at the end of the 3rd quarter not the end of the 4th.

WCS

Thank you, Daniel Dimes.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Dumbass.

Horatio Cornblower

A Duke degree isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

LemonJello

“LOL. Dook Sux.”
-M. Trubisky, U*NC

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hey!!!
—Tucker Max

Mr. Ayo

That was glorious!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was that an Omaha out of Daniel Jones?

Horatio Cornblower

I heard it too.

Doktor Zymm

I’m waiting for some wiseguy to change it to Obama

clint greasewood

Some say he is the bastard child of Peyton from a Tennessee post game party.

litre_cola

THROW IT TO SHEPARD YOU DOOK FUCK!

Horatio Cornblower

Jason Garrett encouraging his QB to check it down is about the least surprising thing ever.

Horatio Cornblower

And just like that, it’s 3rd and 4…

/ominous music plays

Horatio Cornblower

Love the way the announcers just chuckle at the refs blowing an obvious PI call. “Oh those lovable scamps have done it again!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

If someone plays for a particular team, they are generally referred to as a 49er or Raven or Dolphin or Lion. What are the Washington Football Team guys referred to as? Washington Membets?

WCS

Indentured servants

Mr. Ayo

Teamsters

Gatoraids

Teamsters

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Aboriginal Smallpox Deaths.

Dunstan

Unlucky

Doktor Zymm

Washingteamians?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I like your suggestion best of those thus far offered.

ArmedandHammered

Until yesterday, I would have said Losers.

Unsurprised

Now they’re Mostly Losers

Horatio Cornblower

The team leadership on the Giants is determined by who an best organize Zoom calls, in case you’re wondering why the Giants suck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

Alright. Which one of you assholes FOIA’d my wedding registry?

Doktor Zymm

Good to know they’re prepared for a post-NFL career as an administrative assistant!

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, the CTE will eliminate that.

Doktor Zymm

I forgot how early MNF starts on the west coast, how was the first half?

litre_cola

Not good Zymm, not good. Looked like a preseason game.

Doktor Zymm

Booo. How did everyone else manage to do okay, but these two teams with an extra day to prepare couldn’t pull it off?

litre_cola

Well the Giants have 0 O line, Ben needed some rohypnol to level out in the 2nd quarter.

Sharkbait

Don’t get me wrong, I love living on the East coast, but sports on the West coast is so much better

Doktor Zymm

It takes getting used to, I liked the NFL schedule in Chicago better than either coast. I’m guessing the Mountain time zone probably has the best sports schedule.

litre_cola

11 am, 2 pm, 630 pm for NFL. It’s quite nice. Footy is a bit early but I will take it.

clint greasewood

I use to live in Hawaii. Nothing better than going to a bar at 7am, eating some spam and eggs, pound some Bloody Mary’s and stumble out by 2pm with the rest my Sunday free.

LemonJello

/bosun’s whistle

“Commander, Pacific Fleet, Arriving.”

clint greasewood

Hawaii shore duty.

“what’s that skipper, you trying to leave early to see your family mistress.”

Recovery Whiskey

Can confirm. This whole night’ll be over with by 10 pm.

blaxabbath

I keep my hair. I use a product called shampoo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Oh, I’m willing to wager she spent more than $1.49 on her breasts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s the early ’60s; those puppies are real and pendulous, and will betray her soon.

Horatio Cornblower

I figured that by the age of the photo, but couldn’t resist the low-hanging…fruit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In a few years.

Redshirt

Has Roethlisberger crumbled into dust like a Thanos’ snap yet?

blaxabbath

BUY SOME NFL GEAR TO WEAR….TO BUFFALO WILD WINGS?

litre_cola

The two in my city went under very quickly.

blaxabbath

Just read that the Costco I used to live by in Phoenix is closing on Sunday.

litre_cola

Also the BWW closed in Sun City where my folks usually winter.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s because Little Steven Van Zandt wouldn’t play there. Even wrote a song about it.

TheRevanchist

It’s something I would do, because I’m pathetic like that.

Viva La Tabula Raza

SUZY!

Recovery Whiskey

Matron!

Horatio Cornblower

Absolutely No One: Wow, I wonder what Chris Berman would say about this week in football?

ESPN: (Crashing through the door like the fucking Kool-Aid Man on meth) HAVE WE GOT A SHOW FOR YOU!!!!

WCS

Halftime = bourbon and a bag of laundry

Horatio Cornblower

For Christ’s sake, don’t mix them up.

rockingdog

goooo juju smith schuster

Sharkbait

My DFS/Gamblor lineups concur.

herodotus450

Benny Snell’s real last name is actually Wilson but he had a German coach in high school who thought he was really fast.

King Hippo

HINT, Gigantes. There might be a reason all teh pass plays have been short…

TheRevanchist

AND THAT’S WHY I PICKED UP ENGRAM! Stupid Jones.

Fronkenshteen

This game fucking stinks.

WCS

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King Hippo

oh, I heard that voice too

Gatoraids

This game is a test of the vaccine against football

Sharkbait

It is….not good

Recovery Whiskey

Ben telling tales of college bar bathrooms

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Needs MOAR hog mollies?

LemonJello

Look, we all know an O-line made up of submarine screen doors, turnstiles and an old rusty gate aren’t helping matters,

Last edited 3 years ago by LemonJello
litre_cola

Umm that O line is down the road in Philly.

King Hippo

Trade us a draft pick for our ret…Special Young LT??

Gatoraids

Barkley determined to have most exciting injury of the year

King Hippo

Jeebus, do that too often, and a LB will wishbone ya, Saquon.

herodotus450

8 PM EDT hockey start times: late enough to anger old Eastern curmudgeons for being too late, early enough to continue alienating Western audiences!

Horatio Cornblower

/Gary Bettman rubs his hands together

Gumbygirl

Ha, my power just went out for no apparent reason. Figures!

Dunstan

Antifa did it.

Gumbygirl

Probably not in Big Bear. There is a large critter stomping around on my roof, and the smoke from the gender reveal fire is bad today.

LemonJello

Is the smoke blue or pink?

Petronel

If it’s black, then no gender has been selected yet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“…….”

-Vatican declaration

Viva La Tabula Raza

If it’s white, well, you know…

Mr. Ayo

If it’s purple, then it’s a monkey dishwasher.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They’ll get blamed so it had to be them. Big waves.

herodotus450

Oh the Steelers missed a PAT? I guess that means I’m not dreaming…

clint greasewood

This game brought to by Rooney Mara
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LemonJello

I prefer her sister.
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King Hippo

THIS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Glad you could inform us of your preferences.

blaxabbath

Big Ben is so BIG!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

And grey.

King Hippo

HARF, now you talking about Little The Ben

Wakezilla

I’m starting to think Jones isn’t a very good QB

Sharkbait

But…dimes?

LemonJello

-E. Manning, sitting next to the phone, waiting

TheRevanchist

Remember when the Giants were touting Jones’s talent to push out Eli? I am guessing there could be some regret.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I remember when the media and Gints fans were all over that idea.

Horatio Cornblower

You’re no Dave Gettleman.

WCS

3rd and 27? NFL BLITZ!

Fronkenshteen

WHAT FUCKING INTERFERENCE?

Sharkbait

Weak

SonOfSpam

Interfering with my FFL comeback for one.

blaxabbath

The only thing more offensive than opening MNF with PIT/NYG is the fascists who stand for the national anthem.

Recovery Whiskey

Soft call

LemonJello

Saquon just unlocked Bo Jackson mode.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hey Moose can you post some more hot pix of the AT&T girl when you have a moment? Thanks!

Recovery Whiskey

Theres a subreddit to her pics. https://gfycat.com/easygoingmildfiddlercrab-actions-sassy-milana-vayntrub

Subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/milanavayntrub/

Note: Im a noob on this forum and also using phone so can’t link well sorry

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Okay, that was a brilliant playcall.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, but what about the call?

SonOfSpam

Hmm yes, drew that up whilst at a fine eating last weekend.