NFL Nuggets:
- The expensive news – outside of all the injuries teams suffered – are the COVID fines the league levied against certain teams for “non-compliance” with the league’s health directives.
- The Broncos, Niners & Seahawks were all fined $250,000, and their coaches fined $100K.
- And there are escalators for continued non-compliance, although those have not yet been specified.
- Right on cue, Florio has opinions on why coach masks should be done away with.
- Basically, if they are tested every day, why do they need them then?
- They will likely go after the Raiders & Gruden tomorrow, especially after this response at the post-game press conference to a question about his mask usage during the game:
- The Broncos, Niners & Seahawks were all fined $250,000, and their coaches fined $100K.
“I’m doing my best. You know, I’ve had the virus. OK. I’m doing my best,” Gruden said. “I’m very sensitive about it, but I’m calling plays. I just wanna communicate in these situations and I apologize and if I get fined, I will have to pay the fine, but I’m very sensitive about all of that and I apologize. Alright? Thanks guys.”
- Insert masturbation metaphor here: Prosecutors will drop solicitation charges against Robert Kraft.
- The state prosecutors lost an appeal last month on the legality of the video evidence collected.
- Kraft’s lawyers argued that 4th Amendment rights were violated, because all customers & massages were videoed, not just guilty ones or just guilty acts.
- An “inherent right to privacy” exists when purchasing a legal service; police can’t assume one person’s action might become illegal unless they have specific proof about that individual.
- The state attorney was worried about “broader, negative implications” on future law enforcement if they appealed further & lost.
- Basically, they won’t go after rich dudes who can afford to fight their warrants.
- Kraft’s lawyers argued that 4th Amendment rights were violated, because all customers & massages were videoed, not just guilty ones or just guilty acts.
- Instead, they are likely to go after the establishment on financial irregularity charges.
- And the employees on individual charges.
- In other words, the lady who gave him the handy will end up convicted, but the guy who got off gets off.
- In other words, the lady who gave him the handy will end up convicted, but the guy who got off gets off.
- And the employees on individual charges.
- Kraft’s legal team filed a motion to have the tape destroyed, and his attorney said they would pay the state’s costs in legal actions against this move by third parties (i.e. – TMZ)
- The state prosecutors lost an appeal last month on the legality of the video evidence collected.
“Only by ordering the State to destroy the Videos and to comply with interim measures securing them can the Court guard against the palpable risk of further leak or misuse and correspondingly vindicate the constitutional principles and rights that are at stake in this case,” said Kraft’s attorney.
- Ladies & gentlemen, your new Denver Broncos “backup” QB…
- Blake.
- Bortles.
Stanley Cup Finals analysis/prediction follow-up:
Hold on…
WHAT UNHOLY ABOMINATION IS THIS?!
We’re whipping up some new KD, and it’s no basic batch. There’s only 1000. Sign up to claim yours at https://t.co/R14oHhc8Ab pic.twitter.com/cXcjovsbYs
— Kraft Dinner (@kraftdinner) September 22, 2020
GAH!
Dear god – that’s a real fucking thing.
Oh sure – Canadian scientists COULD be working on a COVID cure. Naturally, we NEED to make sure everyone is fed during these dire times. BUT NO! the madmen from US conglomerate Kraft Heinz have ordered their Canadian lickspittles division to take a natural comfort food of a large portion of the population and imbue it with Satan’s essence.
I get that it’s a marketing gag on the annual PSL fall flavour rush at most cofferies, but it’s this kind of unnecessary experimentation that will lead to total human extinction. As a great mind once said,
Tonight’s sports:
- NBA:
- Los Angeles Lakers vs. Denver Nuggets – 9:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
- Game 3 – Lakers up 2-0
- Los Angeles Lakers vs. Denver Nuggets – 9:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
- MLB:
- White Sox vs. Indians – 6:00PM | TSN3
- Yankees at Blue Jays – 6:30PM | ESPN / Sportsnet
- Rangers at Diamondbacks – 9:00PM | FS1
- Athletics at Dodgers – 9:30PM | ESPN / TSN
- WNBA Playoff:
- Game 2:
- Seattle Storm vs. Minnesota Lynx – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN4
- Las Vegas Aces vs. Connecticut Sun – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN5
- Game 2:
Thanks again for the shoulder love. As those with glowing hearts know, it’s all about the process now.
I got the keys to the new place today.
Going home to PEEdroh.
It’s insanely quiet and we may even have a practice place to go electric on our guitars.
I got contact info on my favorite girl at the local Ralphs today.
But best of all, when I took the 405 S transition to the 110 South and started passing like Carson, and PCH and saw the Vincent Thomas bridge?
Pedro is a fucking time capsule that never ages or changes.
I’ve got the stink of LA in my bones as Pedro resident Bukowski said.
Motherfucker I have less stress than I had in February.
Going home!
Real Pedro story.
I’ve talked about my morning walk since 2001, you have to go to the mother blog for confirmation.
Back then we had a community laundry (washer dryer hook-up in the new place folks) so I needed quarters.
Swear to God, I leave my old place on 6th street just west of Pacific and I’m gonna walk to this car wash on 19th that gives you quarters, not tokens!, for a car wash.I walk down the alley right outside my backdoor and there’s this stupid yellow tape blocking my way.
Stupid fucking yellow tape.
I duck under it and walk into a…
double homicide scene.
“Well fuck!” I think.
Cops is there laying out flares.
“What the fuck are you doing walking through my homicide scene?”
“Going for my morning walk” says this very white guy.
“Get the fuck out of here before I arrest your ass” says equally white cop guy responding to his own inquiry.
I continue my walk AND get enough quarters to do laundry.
What happens if I’m not white?
I’m really happy for you. Being comfortable in your community is so important. Good karma to you in your new home! (Smudging with sage like a fucking old hippie)
Thank you. I’m gonna Clorox wipe the FUCK out of this place before I move box one in.
Don’t get me wrong it’s serious neighborhood there. But NOBODY drives to work anymore so parking for guests may be problematic. I have no fucking clue how the movers are going to do this and I don’t care because they’re paid for this type of adversity.
I’m going to buy a Roomba.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCUQs-L883k
Don’t leave the airport area without saying goodbye to me.
No chance.
You’re my boy Brick!
And don’t waste your money on a Roomba – either get a shop-vac equivalent (ie Makita) or a non-Roomba Roomba (there are legit brands at like 1/5th the price for a superiour product)… Also, If I were you, I’d consider getting this instead:
I’m listening. First hardwood floors throughout.
Friday is, well shit I’m working Friday but Saturday is there. It’s basically moving shit everyday but I think it’s going to be easier than it looks.
Saturday is open.
I have examined the situation in downtown El Segundo as well as upper and lower Playa del Rey. We can easily have a SoCal DFO get-together in either location, or in San Pedro as well. Let’s set a date, then a location, and then everyone is invited.
Are you proposing Saturday September 26? Four days from now?
I’m up for that and I’ve got a mask.
Where? El Segundo? That works for me.
Whaddaya think? Is this a thing?
No it’s a DEAD cat you can’t swing without hitting a lawyer in here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WXYjm74WFI&fbclid=IwAR09pbFAT8mb40A-nPOqq2_0Avis5Om-bGAUgQLkrDf5CiURrrAnHiwL1Ck
How big is her cock? Not very? I thought so.
You’ve Got Mail is on. It’s my go-to cry movie. I adore everything about it.
Was he on the BBC? They had a documentary on the Isle of Jersey once.
Smoked oyster in cottonseed oil on saltine crackers.
Nothing finer. I’d share one with all of you.
jesus! Dat ass/ I’ll have to watch the whole thing, but it will be around 27 seconds at a time.
I read that as until Churchill ruined it. Which would also be accurate.
Indeed.
Everyone else excited about the “RV-sized asteroid” coming “awfully close” to earth on Thursday?
Just fucking end us.
IT WASN’T THAT LONG AGE, BUT IT IS GETTING FOGGY ALREADY.
Catching up on last week’s AEW and it reminded me that Thunder Rosa used to manage luchasaurus in Lucha Underground as Kobra Moon. Sadly that ended when John Morrison infiltrated the snake tribe’s lair as an Indiana Jones send up and decapitated luchasaurus with a sword. I miss LU.
Anyway, the fact that there are millions of people with no other income is not a small part of why I didn’t just walk out when I got the email this morning and why I’m going back in tomorrow.
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Matt Sydal and Jack Evans showing the world that THC is an adequate replacement for steroids
Waiting?!? Andy Dufresne waited twenty years to escape. Happy Birthday, Shawshank!
https://twitter.com/mcamerlengo/status/1308446818594951169?s=10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDIyzgv70aw&feature=emb_logo
Tangentially NFL related news, Vernon Davis got an 18 on Dancing With the Stars.
NEVAR FORGET
COCK TACKLE!
COCK TACKLE!
COCK TACKLE!
My wife and I just looked at the Covid situation down old Mexico way and pulled the plug on her 50th birthday vacation, which we already pulled the plug on one back in April. This year can eat all of the dicks, perhaps with a nice mole’ sauce in keeping with the Mexican theme we have going here.
Looking forward to taking a 7-10 days off in October and…puttering around New England, I guess.
My cousin and her husband recently had a very nice time over a weekend in Martha’s Vineyard.
Would you people stop getting into my vineyard?
– Martha
Grapes don’t grow worth a shit in New England. Maybe at the Mogen David vineyards.
—Stuffing Martha’s Muffin
Back in the late ’90s I knew a girl from college who lived in Cape Cod, and I visited her and we went to Martha’s Vineyard one day.
We had another classmate who lived on Chappaquiddick Island, which tourists were not allowed on without a permit. He lived on the island, so we came over and he gave us a great tour on a beautiful sunny summer day. We sat in the bed of a small Nissan pickup truck as he drove the “Teddy Kennedy Trail” which was the purported route Sen. Edward Kennedy drove in the notorious death of Mary Jo Kopechne, and where he claimed to have walked after the accident.
So I saw it all first-hand with my own eyes. The bridge had been rebuilt and altered since the accident, but otherwise everything else was the same. Very rural. And man, Kennedy’s story really doesn’t hold up if you actually see the ground.
Where were you going to go? The situation is very different in different cities but from what I’ve heard everyone is taking it very seriously and wearing masks.
Moose, why is the post here, in this thread? It’s a fine post on its own, but is completely irrelevant in this thread.
Why don’t you post it as its own self-standing thread, rather than interrupting existing threads with irrelevant posts? It’s as if you just want to be noticed.
Moose, I love you but please use your obviously capable brain and exercise some manners and consideration.
Down-vote all you like; I’m right.
I always went for the USS Maine or the racing car. The springy dick was not available on the game sets we had in the 1960s or 70s.
Thimble. Because thimble.
Either the car or the battleship.
I’m thinking nobody is going with the cock cage joke.
I guess a lot of South American cops have some time on their hands with no fans allowed. I mean in Buenos Aires alone 3 people die a game in the Bombonera.
I am watching a game in Colombia and it is weirder than the NFL not having any fans.
/I don’t have a gambling problem…..
Bolsonaro can hire them as auxiliary fire-setters in the Amazon rain forest. He can probably fast-track visas for the non-Brazilians.
This made me giggle. And jiggle.
Good on ya, NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER
Physics classes at Texas A&M are very practical.
I should stock some Lillet in my bar…
The simpsons were swingers huh?
That is probably the lightest side of the Simpsons chapter in Rule 34.
Nooooope
Dear Polonium Forum:
“I never thought it would happen to all my political enemies…”
The shirt matches
?w=200&h=264
https://youtu.be/Etm-qfx3Gok
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Etm-qfx3Gok&feature=youtu.be
I was genuinely confused by kranch.
Booooo!
Thank you.
…
Actually a pretty good date movie—chick flick, but with Stukas.
The long lost Manning sister?
Early voting starts October 13 here in TX!!!
Just a cheap cash grab tie-in with the movie, “Christmas with the Kranch”
Korean Ranch?
KRANCH
That is legit 100% what I was thinking. Then I looked it up….
North.
Gase is not the worst coach in NFL history.
“I disagree”
–H. Jackson
Mm. Something to mull over
Not even in Jets history. This team had Richie Kotite as coach for two seasons, for fuck’s sake.
True dat.
That’s one way to cull the NJ population
I would absolutely eat pumpkin spice kraft dinner.
But I’m american, fat, and hungry so that doesn’t mean much
Also realized I set myself up for a “you just said three words that mean the same thing” joke
https://vimeo.com/88500528?ref=em-share
“WTF??”
-3/4 of the US population.
A lifetime of working the cash register at a convenience store or liquor store awaits!!!
My favorite Tom Petty is “Mad Hatter crossed with creepy Johnny Depp Willy Wonka” Tom Petty
I’m a bit stoked for the release of all the previously unreleased stuff from the Wildflowers sessions next month.
I’m tempted to call the 1-800 number, but it will probably be someone trying to get me to throw some money at an extended vehicle warranty.
A third person tested positive at my office and I don’t know what to do anymore. I told myself a third case is the dealbreaker, but I am not in any position to be broke now.
Fuck man. What’s the situation with distancing? Can you stay relatively isolated?
No
I’ve been told by the very best experts that, “It is what it is”. You’re welcome.
Leak it to the press. A “huge number of employees have tested positive”. Pretend you know nothing, but point the blame at the guy you hate the most that not only stole your lunch from the fridge, but also your soon to be ex-wife.
Not the kind of hair pie we 1970s adolescents were interested in.
The press knows. No one cares.
Time for a 2 week vacation.
Why not? Millions of Americans are quite broke and doing just fine!
-Ivanka Trump
They found something new, just like she suggested!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6O_EVdp8eUU
Old timer KSK question! Does anyone know what happened to PUNTE? After KSK, he went to Bleacher Report and then did a podcast/radio show for a while, but it looks like his website hasn’t been updated in a while and his Twitter is private. I’ll hang up and listen to the answer.
That was a while ago. He made highly enjoyable posts, enough to bookmark and rere….. shit they were all gone one day.
I figured that the old KSK posts were purged from Uproxx years ago .
The wayback machine might have some
Yes, that “one day” I was referring to was a long time ago.
Canadian Sports Network is doing Top 100 catches of all time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stJbHq0pOSs
Run kids! It’s Shannon Sharpe’s gigantic head!
Obligatory:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwnH1nVKb3U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdtGo2Ib9oI
Man, I’d have guessed Deep East Texas (or West Louisiana, as it is often referred to), but that’s DFW area. Probably has opossum ones, too, for shorter shifters.
A great picture for WCS.
*Sorry WCS
Thai version of “Papillon”?
https://youtu.be/kcPSmFhmhJ4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcPSmFhmhJ4&feature=youtu.be
Prosecutors will drop solicitation charges against Robert Kraft.
Robert Kraft dinner with Pumpkin, his personal masseuse and part time dancer at Blue Jay’s, have 3 new flavors of sauce?!
Pumpkin Spice is the full name.
*PK perks up
I must have missed that in my speed read.
I don’t think it been published, but TMZ has some film.
You wouldn’t think she’d be into sports but Laurie Anderson is a big Cam Newton fan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vkfpi2H8tOE&ab_channel=NonesuchRecords
My fellow super hardcore peace-loving kind-to-animals liberal attorney female cousin, who is super sappy and emotional, really digs boxing. I mentioned that this seemed out of character for her, and she responded that she appreciated the fact that boxing was sport in it’s most refined distilled form. You just get in the ring and beat the fuck out of your opponent with your fists. No lime lines on a field, no ball or really complicated rules to get in the way. The essence of sport.
Can’t say that she was completely wrong.
The song fits the joke.
Indeed.
It’s a saucy sauce? NO FUCK.