The weather turned again. The sky has become a grey slate, punctuated occasionally by an off-color sun that brings no warmth. My hand, sliced open when I was taken by surprise, is almost fully healed. I wear gloves most times when out in public in order to hide the radish hued scar that runs parallel to the lifeline on my palm. A trick of circumstance that causes me to smirk or grimace, depending on my mood. If anyone asks, I just say I’m taking extra precautions because of the pandemic. Folks just nod…
The apartment complex where I live is probably 50 years old or so-there are washing machines in the rooms so all the laundry is done in the basement. And I got to thinking that maybe the laundromat on the edge of downtown might be a spot to spend some time…observing. I’ve started making it a habit to head down there on Saturdays, do a load, read a paper and just watch. It was nestled in the middle of a two story strip mall and had some apartments up above. There was an empty butcher shop and another spot where hopeful restauranteurs opened and then inevitably closed after spending all their money on their dream of being a business owner.
Saturdays were usually busy-harried housewives trailing bored kids mingled with younger single men on their own. Older men whose wives had left them in one way or another wandered in and out. One in particular stood out. He was gaunt and tired-looking but carried himself well if you can square those attributes. His clothes were old and frayed but at one time had been expensive. He was fastidious about folding everything properly as it came out of the dryer, one by one-he wasn’t the type to throw everything on the table that was provided and root through his undershirts, socks and pants. After a few weeks I noticed he would sit on the bench directly out front and have exactly one cigarette. It was usually about ten minutes into the wash cycle. One day I finally timed it right and headed out to the bench five minutes before he did. I wanted him to come to me.
Harold was a widower and lived in one of the apartments up above. He’d retired at 58, after putting away “some good amount of coin in the insurance business” as he said it, and looked forward to a happy retirement with Margaret. But health and family issues started popping up-his son was in and out of jail and his wife developed throat cancer. Trips back and forth to Toronto, an experimental drug trial in California, lawyers for his son-all of it combined to drain all that coin out of his bank account. “Now I’ve just got the one pension and it’s not that much. I don’t know where my son is. It’s gotten to be a bit much.” I commiserated with him-it was obvious he just wanted to talk to an adult, share his story with someone. I figured I could swing this to my advantage and sure enough I was able to get an invite to his aparment “if you bring the whiskey”. Of course.
The following Friday evening I headed over his place at 7pm. I figured the walls were thin so I’d have to quietly go about my business later on. I fashioned a garrote that fit neatly in my pocket and also a plastic bag that would fit nicely over his head should the need arise. The plan was straightforward and had always worked before-get him drunk, wait until his guard was down and then let events unfold as they may.
We were only an hour in and it was plain that he was telling the truth when he said he wasn’t a drinker. He got up, unsteadily and mumbled something about ‘crackers’ or ‘snacks’. As he stumbled over to the cupboard and started rummaging I got up behind him, my heart thumping in raw anticipation… “Pappy? You here?” I quickly tucked the garotte away and turned towards the entrance. A 12 or 13 year old boy stopped in his tracks when he saw me, not sure what he saw but knowing something wasn’t right. “Who’s this, Pappy?” Harold realized that I hadn’t provided him with one and seeing the boy’s face inquired, “Uh yeah, what is your name anyway?” I mumbled, “You can just call me Buddy”. His need to exhibit proper manners overcame him and Harold said, “Well this is my grandson David, we live together because his mom is uh, ‘indisposed’ right now and I have no idea where my son is. We kinda like this arrangement though, don’t we David?” David nodded in agreement as he moved between his grandad and me.
Needless to say, the night’s work did not get completed-I shuffled out of there quickly and didn’t bother going back to the laundromat again. Sometimes the breaks just don’t go your way and other people get lucky. Real lucky.
TO THE GAME!
Rams/Niners:
Goff has bounced back in a big way this year and it’s a bit strange because he has the league’s lowest average depth of target at 6.3 yards. Gone are those field-stretching plays-they’ve been replaced with much shorter routes that allow gifted wr’sKupp and Woods to pile up yards after the catch. And wouldn’t you know, it’s working-the Rams lead the league in that category at 7.3 yards per. The Niners secondary, the one that was gobsmacked by Fitzmagic might have some problems tonight.
Have at it.
Ay
o. Ayo.
Daylight come and me wanna go home!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHWnEI9K9Tw
Tonight’s first beer
As Balls would say, it’s better in the can.
I think the best thing about starting a week’s vacation is the Sunday night before the work week, when you realize that you’re not going in the next morning. The downside is that we were supposed to be on the way to Mexico this weekend, but since people are assholes who can’t be bothered to wear masks, I’m just going to drink a lot and maybe get some Mexican food a couple of times.
Thats good stuff right there, and I usually don’t go for IPAs
Is that a Belgian? I’d wake up at 3 AM to hear a drunk tourist fall into the canal for a Belgian
It’s an IPA, but good eye on you for the coloUr, I assume. Now that you say that I can taste some flavors that I’d ordinarily associate with Belgian ales. Not sure I would have picked up on them if you hadn’t put that idea in my head.
Better have another, just to be sure.
Am I just an old fart or is player turnover in the NFL a lot faster than it used to be? Time was you’d get your Edgerrin James and Lawyer Malloy memorized and you’d be good for 5-10 years.
It doesn’t help that this year has been a sort of soft-tissue and bone injury Purge
Pandemic may be involved
Or a Spamdemic!
I wonder if that is his euphemism for Sexy Times.
Yuuuuuuge competitive advantage to have many and/or your good players on rookie deals.
The average career has been 2-3 years forever as far as I know
We need to go deeper; someone get me the median and the mode!
Where’s Moose with his infographics?
Moose has been oddly absent the last few days.
He may see us next Tuesday….
https://www.statista.com/statistics/240102/average-player-career-length-in-the-national-football-league/
Average career is 3.3, kickers and QBs a little higher, RBs at the bottom at 2.57.
This is also interesting: https://www.sportscasting.com/how-long-is-the-average-nfl-career/
Players selected to a Pro Bowl average 11.7 year careers, 1st round picks average 9.3, and a player making the roster for at least 3 games over 3 seasons averages 7/1 years. Although this article notes that the NFL provided these stats and seems a tad suspicious.
Seems like the total average gets brought down by guys who play one or none games and the league wants to highlight everone else
I wonder if they’re counting “careers” of later round draft picks who never make an active roster.
I wonder how much Browns QBs have thrown this off.
Sweden, I have questions.
“We’re not Canada”
Well, yeah, that would be “Squeez Bacoun”
And it would be ham
Bacon-flavoured spread? Ain’t nothing wrong with that!
I am looking at the consistency on the sandwich.
They need to spread it instead of laying it on top of the patty like a couple of turds.
They’re the ones who turned me on to the whole ‘mayo with fries’ thing. They’re dangerous
this dude Chris Colinsworth is such a rube
LOL
Baby Buster youuuu can do it!
Where did baby buster even come from?
Wasn’t it Cal?
The nickname.
I coined it, don’t really remember. I know it had something to do with him looking like a putative bust his rookie year. He’s also pretty dopey.
Very fair.
What’s the difference between a forest and a wood?
Girls can have a forest and boys can have wood?
Robert Smith has entered the chat
Mr. Walsh, your thoughts?
Nearly made it! — Blair Walsh
And lmao derped the XP
Replacing that Henderson score with Bobby Woods? Very helpful in DFO-bal
Nice pass by Goff for the Rammits
No way that’s real.
I sure as hell hope not.
Nabisco has denied it existed, exists, or is under any consideration for existing.
In summary, it’s not real.
“If they’ve denied it, it must be true!!”
-Someone who probably shouldn’t be allowed to vote
I really hope that is fake, if it isn’t then I was holding out hope for humanity for WAY too long
I hope its real
Thursday is Giants-Eagles and the last debate. I guarantee the ratings for the shitfest win.
Which matchup has more losers??
I forget which article it was (on The Athletic), but of the 20 highest-rated shows this fall (or maybe 2020), 18 of them have been NFL games, and the other 2 were the debates.
I caffeinated so I could make it to the end of this. Fuck is wrong with me?
You don’t live on the Best Coast? Been drinking since 10 AM and this games still before nightfall.
I would like to live in Oh-ray-GAWNE, but that dream is ded
Why? You’re still white.
too old, too broke, too goddamned lazy to move again
/plus my cats like it here, I value their happiness WAY more
Trump tweet in 3…2…1…
I only just this second realized how appropriate it is for Robbie Gould to be kicking for a team named after a gold rush.
With that sexy U, I am surprised he isn’t from up here.
Beat me to it.
He’s an Aussie.
Makes sense!
Ah, the adanaC
Robbie Gould was a prospector in the Canadian Gould Rush.
Robbie Solid Gould. The Bears never should’ve let him go.
Despite also being a fan of digging things up, Stephen Jay Gould’s tenure for the 49ers didn’t work out as well.
Kittle down
Forgot about this, but never Dre.
Unappetizing looking pizza is one of the saddest things in the world
Seconded. And I’m not even a big pizza guy.
Is that a sliced tomato?!?
Oh yes and what appears to be chanterelle mushrooms.
That pizza looks like a 7 year old read a recipe for pizza and started doing the toppings with whatever he could find in the pantry.
or any British person
I’ve had a high ankle sprain. It’s nowhere near as good as having other types of highs.
What lineman rolled up on you?
Tripped on a cat while drunk
Hope you apologized to the cat, for causing him/her slight inconvenience
The cat got to sit on my bed (where she was not allowed, and knew it, hence the tripping in the first place) and look down on me while I writhed in pain on the floor
served you right, eh? 😀
Short passes with fabulous athletes getting YAC against defenders who never learned (much less be comfortable executing) a textbook tackle will be the game of the future until colleges stop putting up 70+ point games regularly.
Skeleton ankle has a sprain
LA being beat on 2 channels. Glory be!
Rammit!
I just put money on RAMMIT to comeback and win, so we know they will lose by 1.
There it is.
ha, we were typing concurrently
FYI
If you copy a URL that begins
and has a hashcode after jpg? at the end, remove everything after the g and change the “preview” to “i”
Or just make sure you’re copying the i . redd . it URL in the first place
Good tip!
You really should write a posting tips blog with all sorts of shit that we run into. I know I would appreciate it as I am dumb you see.
I made a gfycat gif posting video once.
Anyway, when I get around to it.
I’ve gotten really good at swapping between Civ and the game so I can watch during the 1/2 of the time that is football, and play turn-based strategy the rest of the time
I am staying off Footy Manager, because I have two Cup finals next (and I should pay undivided attention). But TEMPTING.
What fucking game is the referee watching?
Jealous of the “Touchdown, Seahawks” ref, maybe??
Just remembering Sherman and Wilson having turkey dinner on that turf.
BLEE’RGH!
guh.
Mom?
Baby Buster selects, then examines a booger
Double or nothing the Smails kid eats it
Just an 8 win team? Have they seen the NFC East?
I would be shocked beyond all reason if someone in the NFC East got to 8 wins.
8 wins probably takes this division easy
8 wins takes the Lombardi trophy at the rate things are going
Greg Kihn bumper music. He’s a San Francisco-based musician, not a Santa Clara-based musician. WTF?
They don’t write em like that anymore in Santa Clara
And they say the French don’t do puns!
It was too good for me not to share!
Surprised its got cheese in the name and not something like cheeze
Given it’s French, this is a ringing endorsement to the actual cheese content inside.
I too, am fromidable
TRIGGER WARNING MUCH???
Everyone loves cheese in a jar
But is it better than cheese in a can?
Yes. You can’t add in salsa components to cans of spray cheese.
(In case you were asking about government canned cheese, which could have that stuff in it, but didn’t IIRC. But in that case, yes, jar is better than that cheese anyway)
bleh
Replace that with this:
Hunter Biden?
I get absolutely NOTHING about Gwen Stefani. Awful voice, dingbat personality, no fashion sense, looks like a combination of Barbie doll and drag queen.
Yeah but imagine how fit she was and what that would have been good for.
Hollaring at
We’re the same. She also has that pinched look like she just sucked a lemon or did a vinegar shot. Not my type. And I’m most definitely not a fan of her band.
Sorry Spam.
She was originally like a bouncy, fun, confident lady-type. Then she went nuts with exercise bulimia and was no longer any of those things, plus her music was still kinda annoying.
This is one of those times that we should expect a haunting from our dear departed tWBS.
Right after I cheered against UGA last night, too
So is Doooordogers gonna win this game 7?
yay or nah?
Of course
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltjBT_TuUVA
To reiterate: This is my friend. She is top notch. Just a southern peach I met here in Virginia. Enjoy.
She seems nice.
You’d love her. Funny, cool,Great laugh. knows how to twist up a doob or chop out a line. Had a pic of Bob Marley and Mick Jagger over her makeup table when I got high with her. American girl. Hope she’s tearing up NYC.
From what I have been told, she likes to be spanked.
I was MORTIFIED.
She deserves a Fresca!
Nice smile
Reminds me of Ms. Whiskey 20 yrs ago. When she was an 18 yo moving into my apt
I’d saw she looks like Lexi Belle if I knew who that was.
That was my thought exactly. If I knew who that was.
I got to see my brood today. Both daughters and all 3 granddaughters. It was amazing.
The new robot vacuum has a name too.
“Cupcake.”
They all love the new casa.
Sounds like a fine day, glad you didn’t let Dingleberry ruin EVERYTHING
It’s important to have low expectations in these trying times.
Damn. I just now saw this, too late for the Doncs game
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGfZrLWhtMt/
Looks at Memorial League, oh some one beat Don T! Checks and see he has 2 players left against Spam and will win.
Everton remain atop the Premiership table for a THIRD GLORIOUS WEEK. That said, 2nd position Villa – fookin’ VILLA, really!! – have a game in hand and a superioUr goal differential.
Everything is stupid.
Fucking Spurs man.
Until I saw Fronk’s post in the 4p thread, I honestly had no idea about that game after it went 3-nil. So much Lesser Bananacakes!
Adds laundromat to the list of places to stay away from
This is just a good idea, hobo killers or no
I love Scotchy’s hobo stories! Even if they don’t end up with dead people!
Eventually there always end up dead. That is the beauty of hobo murder, only Stephensville Slick, and Railyard Ronda know when they are missing and they are too busy living to be busy caring.
I actually like Sunday morning better than Sunday night. There’s still football, and it’s longer until Monday morning.
Agreed. Though this week, I did pre-dread the 4p EST window.
The downside of Covid-ball schedule
It is a stupid theme isn’t it?
It’s the most generic multi-genre pop every
Waiting all day for Wednesday-afternoon-staff-meeting ♫
Woohoo! Dodgers walk the first batter.
And a stolen base. Runner in scoring position with no outs
Ginger LA pitcher looks like some kind of alien species from a Star Trek TV series.
I’m just happy the Trashtros lost
Scotchnaut, our natioUnal treasure!!
/also has we waited all day FOAR Sunday night??
Holy hell, there were just commercials for Prop 22, Prop 23, Prop 21, then Prop 22 again
That blonde Prop 23 nurse better be getting a shit-ton of residuals. I’ve seen her more often than my friends, work people and my immediate family!
The transfer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVit4vSAMsk
The San Francisco 49ers of Santa Clara.
Santa Clara Tomsulas – pls keep up smh 😀