Is this the start of the inevitable (maybe) unraveling of The Shield’s best-laid plans? Hopefully for us watchers of games that’s not the case but I do stand by my prediction that there will be a break in play for a week or two if things get out of hand. I can’t get my head around how teams in Florida and Texas will be able to get through this unscathed, given their respective governor’s stance on The Covid. But hey, we’ve had four years practice of watching shit circumstances slowly unfold. Gird them loins, folks!
TO THE GAMES!
Texans/Titans:
Look for Henry to go buck wild in this spot-his only 200 yarder came against these guys last year and 4 out of 5 backfields have run for at least 140 vs Houston.
Bengals/Colts:
Your sneaky play here is Trey Burton-since wk. 4 he has a 19% target share and has led all Colts te’s with 35 routes run. The Cincy D has allowed the 3rd most targets to the position overall and the 2nd most red zone throws.
Falcons/Vikes:
In news that won’t shock you, opposing qb’s have an average rating of 125.1 vs Atlanta. The ground bound Vikes may want to toss a ball or three Thielen and Jefferson’s way. Or maybe new coach Morris has solved all of the Falcons’ woes this past week? [snorts]
Broncos/Pats:
Drew Lock was able to practice this week so Bye, Bye Bortles! As per usual the Pats are zipped lipped about Cam but I’m betting he plays. If Darnold can run for 84 yards against Denver, imagine where Newton’s wheels will take him.
Team/Giants:
Twere nice to see Alex Smith out there last week but the stat sheet wasn’t nearly as nice to him as the national media was. As a team, Team’s qb’s averaged 1.9 yards per pass play. If McLaurin isn’t doing anything Washington’s air O is doing nothing and those odds are good because cb Bradberry hasn’t allowed a single #1 wr more than 10 fantasy points this year.
Ravens/Eagles:
Wentz will get his ass blitzed for the 2nd week in a row but the good news is that he handled it well last week-he was 11-16 for 104, a TD and an intercept.
Browns/Steelers:
[point chasers insert Claypool into lineup] It’s worth a shot, right? Expect Pitt to shut down Cleveland’s healthy running game and force them to the air which isn’t a bad thing because the Steelers have given up big plays and OBJ and Landry are capable of just that.
Bears/Panthers:
Another sneaky fantasy play is Darnell Mooney-he’s #2 in target share now and since Foles took over the Bears have been passing at a 75% clip. (game scripts have influenced this) Mooney has aDOT of 15 and the Panthers give up the 7th most big plays.
Lions/Jags:
Detroit plays a vanilla man D that doesn’t do much to disguise coverages but they should take a run at Minshew. His clean pocket passer rating of 74.5 drops precipitously to 42.5 when he’s pressured.
Go man, go!
You not what I’m enjoying even less than this undeserved Bears lead? The copious amounts of ads for CA ballot initiatives.
Anything good this year? Maybe putting a 200% premium on foreign land buyers which is used to subsidize rents/mortgages for locals?
At least I always thought that was a good idea for CA.
Are running backs allowed to throw the ball away? Always wondered why they didn’t just chuck it when a play goes backwards
I’m late to the party here, but,
same ol (hashtag)ThePauls
Are there any competitive games in the early window?
This feels like getting socks for Christmas.
I mean, Gmen-WTF is competitive in terms of it being close. Not sure it’s what one would call watchable.
I mean, if you have eyes it’s watchable.
GIANTS VS. TEAM-CATCH THE MAGIC!!!
The Bears can blow any lead
Referee assists are best assists. Absolutely jobbed on that drive
Say what yew want about America (unless youre not American, in which case shut your damn pie hole, commie!) but at least we haven’t had any beheadings yet.
That’s why we’re fucked.
We’re gonna need to up rope capacity nationwide to fabricate the noose that’ll fit Chris Christie.
And, just be clear, Chris Christie must be executed before 2022 begins.
lol
https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/michigan/2020/02/19/michigan-man-accused-beheading-grandmother/111335704/l
https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2020/05/31/man-charged-in-beheading-of-girlfriends-father/
Suffice it to say, this list could go on for a while
Yikes… But none of those were Muslim so apparently they don’t count.
Sounds like you’re qualified to run a cable news network
DFONews: Only The News That Conforms to Your Existing Worldview!
Umm, Titans?
Ravens doing what you expected them to and Eagles could still be in first place before next Sunday. They’re really doing Eagles-Giants for TNF this week for some reason.
Unlike Scotchy above, looks like the Bungals forgot about Trey.
Falcons ad-libbing instead of sticking to the script.
Rivers is the QB of the Fat Humps? He’s going to fat sham that entire fanbase into gravy tears
Suck it, Browns!
Who are you, Trump’s new campaign manager?
I’d write some speeches for him
“There are many many really really great methheads in Florida.” “Antifa works with Canadian terrorists to support the importing of Swedish meatballs. We already have many fine meatballs here.” “ We should sell Puerto Rico to Russia to fund a wall to keep out the Cubans.”
This is like watching someone kick the shit out of their baby brother
Danny Dimes trying to secure his team’s top pick and possible replacement.
Burris being carted off
Dave Gettleman should probably be fired before this game ends.
Obligatory Dimes turnover
It’s not enjoyable when you utterly despise your team’s quarterback. This fucking asshole.
I came to terms with that years ago. I can hate Rapey Ben and still love the Steelers.
I’m at the point where it’s “Fuck it. Let’s go ahead and tank for Trevor.” This whole damn year, man!
If the Giants could figure out that their run game is complete shit that would be great.
Pats look like ass
MILES SANDERS FLASH
JJAW whiffs on a block and is rewarded with a recovery for a TD, guaranteeing him more starts
WILD TD rite there
what a run first
but then he FUMLLLBES IT into the ENDZONE
Camception!
Patriots are poopin today
This looks like Branson Reese’s handiwork here.
Biggest most profitable company on Earth: “We let the data drive us to the best decision.”
The US Government: “We let a stroke victim make up lies because it’s the only way he can get a trickle of blood to flow to his tiny mushroom of a child-raping dick.”
Stupid People: “WE’RE FINALLY RUNNING THE COUNTRY LIKE A BUSINESS!”
The people are correct
3/4ths of the governments we’ve had failed, but only 90% of all new businesses fail in the first year, checkmate leftists.
Sudden change in Tennessee!
did Watson throw a TD or nah?
yep
Carolina bleerg
They say that Autumn doesn’t truly begin until one of those classic 3 INT days from Kirk Cousins.
Doesn’t even feel like October until I see all of Chip Kelly’s new roster turn from black to white….
2nd and 1 for the Giants. If they don’t go play action and take a long shot I’ll be angry.
A running play for a loss. FUCKING ANGRY!!!
Broncos up by 12 late in the 3rd. Hippo must be on pills and needles!
Ah, there’s the Lamarr cheat code
Ok Bears defense is better at offense than Bears offense is at defense
Ugh, fuck that penalty
So glad I’ve already used Pats in Survivor pool. Thought this was a no-brain-nerd.
Steelers are kneading Baker into the ground.
That’s the way the cookie crumbles
#71 on Cleveland (on the blindside) must have got a low score on survival skills because he just let Mayfield get killed with that sack
Foles has turned the Bears WRs into DBs several times today. Spoiler alert: they aren’t very good DBs.
Foles blows.
Re, Gostkowski 20-yard attempt
Giants don’t bother to go for it on 4th and goal and expect the Team D to fall for them pretending to go for it on the 45 yard line. JEEZUZ CHRIST!
Just tried to go to the gym, only to be told that they’re closing the part I needed for the next hour for cleaning.
So I went and got a mushroom burger with swiss and fired onions, and a shitload of sweet potato fries instead. Fuck it, I tried
Helluva thing, not letting you into the women’s washroom!
You had no choice, don’t feel bad.
As always, the Simpsons have the right wisdom here
I wouldn’t say I failed miserably; this burger is really good.
The Bears’ version of a flea flicker was more like a bean flicker
Nick Foles, mobile qb
Ooh! Mayfield got the hurt.
PIT so has CLE’s number.
Wow CBS, bringing back an entire lineup of shows that I would actively avoid watching if presented with a television showing any of them.
“TV shows that make you want to go for a hike, a walk, anything really-next on CBS!”
If Wentz isn’t a headcase yet, games like this are definitely gonna get the job done. Two massive drops on perfect throws in that half and just getting obliterated between the two.
In a few years, we’ll get a first round pick from the Vikes for him, so at least we have that going for us
Wow — that was some serious CAM going for the fumble effort.
Just made eggy in a basket, very excited to eat
Alright, Mrs just took the kid to the park to play with some moms group or whatever, I don’t know. And now I see CIN is beating CLOTS — but my other viewing option is NE/DONKS…is that better?
Both suck so far
ahahahafuck
I am really surprised Peterson didn’t call for a punt.
The only drawback to having Lamar as my fantasy QB, the Ratbirds tend to have way too much of a lead for him to throw much
SMRT, telegraph the play, make sure Dakota Jeebus takes MOAR hits
Eagles, time to punt
Browns down 17 at the half. Time to switch games. Who’s watching a good game?
Congratulations, Hippo. Both fantasy FITBAW scoring windows closed before 2:30. Again.
I’m playing the Raiders D (the Raiders D!!!) on their bye week. Have a seat-there’s plenty of room in The Suck.