Let’s neither dilly nor dally-TO THE GAMES!
LIONS/FALCONS:
I invested heavily in Matty Ice fantasy-wise this year and it’s been a bit of a roller coaster operator ride in that I’ve considered a meth-centric life and my personal hygiene has become an issue. Injuries at wr and the o-line have hampered his production but he got right last week, ON MY BENCH! Still, he just needs a clean pocket and he’s fine with an adjusted completion rate of 80% and a passer rating of 103.
Browns/Bengals:
Is this the game where Mayfield gives Cleveland fans hope (again) or does he crash and burn? From the outside looking in it appears that a big part of his success was dependent on confidence and he seems bereft of it now. Play your Tee Higgins and Tyler Boyd but wait it out on A.J. Green-turns out the majority of his receiving yards last week came when he was being covered by lb(!) Anthony Walker.
Steelers/Titans:
Looks like what we got here is one of those ‘robust matchups’. Can Tannyhill (I call him this because it reminds me of a soft porn movie I saw called Fanny Hill) withstand Pitt’s unrelenting pressure though? His percentage of sacks taken when under pressure is third, only behind the likes of Kyle Allen and Haskins. Weirdly, there are massive holes in the Steelers secondary as they’ve given up an average of 20 fantasy points to the qb and that includes the likes of Dimes, Driskel and Wentz.
Panthers/Saints:
Carolina has allowed the 4th fewest fantasy points to the wr spot so you may want to park Sanders here. Conversely, take a look at the Panthers starting te (it’s Ian Thomas with a piddly 11 targets to date) because the Saints give up the most fantasy points in the league at that spot.
Bills/Jets:
Josh has stumbled a bit the last two games just as everyone noted that his qb-ing play had gone up several notches. His adjusted completion rate is still over 75% and this tilt certainly has the old ‘get right back up on that horse, cowboy’ feel to it. Vegas is giving 125-1 odds that Gase will be disemboweled in the locker room after the game. I don’t know, a part of me really wants to jump in on that action.
Cowboys/TEAM:
Need to stream a qb this week? You could do worse than Mr. Allen. Everybody wins when they play the Dallas D! And of course take a look at McLaurin if you’re playing daily fantasy-the guy had 12(!) targets last week, FFS. There truly is no one else on TEAM’s wr corpse.
Pack/Texans:
Here’s another of those ‘get right’ games but this one’s for Rodgers. After stinking up the joint a bit last week he gets a Texans D that yields a passer rating of 119.6 and an amazing 6.7 average yards per play. Okay, they give up a lot thru the air, they’re feisty on the ground, right? Naw, they’re the only D to surrender 1,000 yards so far this year.
Comment away, my fellow football fiends!
Networks are feeding me the Dallas and Tennessee games. This is fucked up.
Showing the Dallas game to someone that lives in Texas, or anyone really, is really crazy.
Yeah, there’s no escaping them down here. Today is rare insofar as we are not getting the Texans matchup. Such as it is.
Good lord, this is some “Peyton Manning got hurt” levels of quit
They hate McCarthy and Nolan. It couldn’t be more clear. No one gives a shit, at least on the defense.
yep.Van der Esch was rumored to be the one calling out the lack of adjustments to the press
Does Dallas have linebackers?
Jaylon Smith is actually good, but basically playing by himself. Van der Esch is coming off of neck surgery last season and a broken collarbone this season, and Sean Lee is dead.
When all three are healthy they had the best LBs in the league. But they had no depth whatsoever, so now it’s a weakness and an excellent reason to just run on them all day.
I just had to check to make sure Sean Lee is still playing football. Why is Sean Lee still playing football? Does he only plan to live to 40?
Well, he has probably played 1/3 of the games he is supposed to have played so far in his career.
I’ve been saying he should retire for years now, but he apparently wants to keep playing until his number of known concussions equals his jersey number.
(it’s 50)
I thought he was getting close to Bob Sanders territory 5 years ago. I can’t believe they let him come back at all.
Kyle Allen upgraded to competent!
I would look competent playing against that “defense”
Buffalo is going to cost me a lot of fucking money today.
Just use hamburger. No need to get all hipster with it.
This is embarrassing.
God I love the chaos.
Joe Burrow unlocked the “back should throw” ability and is spamming it
Only problem with red zone is you don’t get things like Elliot being run over on pass protection
Amazon recommending me saddle lacquer, live worms, and UV lights. What do they know about me that I dont?
Raul Jimenez with the goal! 1-0 Wolves. 81’
Goals to Newcastle, as they say.
/Sorry, sorry, I’m try to delete it
Cowboys twitter is something right now.
A deeper-than-usual cesspool?
If you also set that cesspool on fire, then yes, yes it is.
“We’re losing to a team that don’t even have a name!”
BILLS are really poopin this first half
was really hoping that they would have something like 14pts by now…
I’ll probably poop at half time
Man, Dallas loses today, an apoplectic Jones may go apocalyptic. Over/under on Nolan continuing as DC?
apocaplectic even
I’m beginning to think they might be playing for Trevor Lawrence. I can’t remember a team not based in Ohio ever playing this badly.
If I was Trevor I would stay another year at Clemson, where he is a rock star instead of being the object of desire for so many teams. Or if the Jets get 1st pick, I would be on board for him to pull an Eli.
I’d move to Russia if my other option was the Jets.
I don’t think it’s fair to call illegal contact on Diggs there, when Diggs clearly not only missed the receiver, but the entire coverage.
Whoever called that 4th and 1 play for Dallas just now should be fired immediately.
Fired out of a cannon.
Into the sun.
There’s no greater evidence of CTE than the color guy (who is it?) in the PIT-TEN game forgetting the result of the play (clear TEN recovery) that happened six seconds ago.
— T. Green
Buffalo Josh doing his best Dimes imitation.
Negative 60 yard run by the Bengals? I’d normally ignore it as a box score quirk, but it is the bengals…
Yahoo just had Biyd with -36 yards on 5 receptions, but has since corrected it
Yeah Perine now has 3 yards instead of -61. How much did the Perines pay to cover this up, YAHOO! !
Big Fantasy has some questions to answer.
/That’s the name of the stripper who stole my wallet.
Can you imagine how good the Shaun would be with an offensive line and a coach?
Tanny magic throw to 2 receivers. Voodoo!
He tosses a catchable ball.
Amazing what you can do when you get the Gase stench off you.
*Tannyhill’s bank account nods*
That air shot of Lions-Falcons looks like a glitched out NES game. Bad field, bad unis, bad teams
Did Jordy Nelson just score for GB?
GOOOOOOOLLLL, Domzale!!
Hippo, for some reason, I always picture you surrounded by TVs, tablets and laptops all on different sports games and gambling sites, kinda like some movie hacker villain.
Don’t forget the cats!!
Sorry Blofeld, forgot the cats.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmqOmH0o5rI
LOL
Jets still have a lead
also how is that Bills TE Kroft going?
His wife was delivering a kid while the rest of the Buffalo TEs caught the Nineteen.
Fake TITS confirmed!
Watching the games at the nudie bar, are we?
Just finishing up a solid pornhub sesh.
I honestly think that is the first sack I’ve seen Dallas get this year.
There will be plenty to go around for both teams next week
You know, the one play where they SHOULD use Taysom Hill? But I guess when you have the chance to get your ancient QB murder-killed, you gotta take it.
If the QB dies do you still take the cap hit next year?
He was warming up in a “say her name” shirt but he probably thought it meant, like, the virgin Mary or something.
I keep walking away from the ohio game and something hilarious happens everytime I walk back in the room
Why you would do anything besides run against Dallas is beyond me.
And some coaches obviously.
I hope one of these coaches challenge over the 1.5 yard differential.
Horrible play calling
Aaron calls that “The McCarthy”
Matt Ryan got start throwing to Julio Jones man….
no he doesnt
Let’s see how Dallas wastes this field position.
At least he made it into FG range?
Goddamn, those are some trash unis
Falcons have some great old unis too, and they went with those disasters.
I’m not sure what scheme the Dallas D is deploying here, but “Don’t Cover The TE & Hope The QB Forgets About Him” doesn’t seem like a great idea.
The Eagles employed this same tactic for Jason Witten for a decade and it worked just as well.
#GetSwifty!
This is dumb, why do i do this?
Lookit Teddy Ballgame!!
Jim Nantz voice: “The Titans D opening-drive YD allowed: a tradition that sucks. Like me.”
Hola, amigos.
My multiple personalities say “Hola” back, amigo.
Amigos imaginarios
I like FITBAW. Do you also like FITBAW?
Well, there’s the safety I expected, but kudos for Dallas for pulling it off that way.
called it
Holy shit, they actually managed to do it after getting 15 yarsd off the line. Takes real effort.
But the execution was a work of art!
I was planning on watching the game on Fox, but instead they’re showing some stupid movie about the Packers beating up on some fictional franchise – I guess they didn’t want to pay for the rights to use a real team?
Perhaps my decision to start Burrow over The Ben was the ill advised.
Washington should’ve tried just changing the name of their quarteredback instead of the whole thing.
“Washington Quarterback” is also a slur, though.
This could be a worse game than Thursday
God I hope so!
There’s no way Dalton’s gonna run 80 yards before falling over.
50, maybe.
You’re gonna have to be more specific
Apparently the Eagles get Gints then Cowboys then Gints again because making a schedule is hard. Goddamn, that is some streak of derp.
This is great, but this upcoming safety is really gonna piss me offf.
Kroftcatch!*
*starting small
Yeah Dallas!
shit, incoming safety
WE GOTTA DERPOFF ON THE RIVERFRONT!