Your “Lower…Lower…Lower” Monday Night Football Open Thread

There’s a lot not to like about the tilt on offer tonight if you’re a fan of well-played football. There’s not likely any meaty fantasy action to be had here. We’ll waddle on through as we always do though.

Fallout:

-Someone who has fallen out of a job (for now) is Takk McKinley who was just a bit too vocal about his desire to be traded. Did he at least play well? No he did not. What did running his mouth cost him? A 10 million dollar option. Movin’ on…

-Just when it seemed the Bucs were the best that the NFC had to offer, Brady lays an egg. By throwing 3 pics and barely crossing the 200 yard mark passing he had his third worst performance ever. There’s no doubt he and team will regain former footing but this came as a shock.

-Also shocking? Kalen Ballage-the guy who failed a Jets physical-racked up 84 yards of O and scored a TD. Completely out of nowhere! Doesn’t say much about Joshua Kelly, does it?

-Back on the injury bus is McCaffrey who was banged up on the Panthers last set of downs.

-Now This Is News! Danny Dimes went an entire game without turning the ball over, in just his 21st try! Yes, he did fumble twice but one went out of bounds and the other he recovered himself.

-Josh Allen sailed out of the doldrums with a fine performance and may have regained early-season form. A shoutout has to go to Bills OC Brian Daboll, a man that wants to shove the ground game down everyone’s throat. Recognizing that one can throw at will on Seattle’s secondary and that the game would likely be a race to 40 points, he unleashed all the dragons and got the W.

TO THE GAME!

Pats/Jets:

-This weekend of football flipped several narratives on their respective heads so maybe tonight Cam recaptures the magic? Or will it be the Elite Joe Flacco? The latter and his 52% completion look to do some damage vs a secondary that is without cb Gilmore.

-The Pats secondary has been coming around, allowing the third-least amount of fantasy points to wr’s the last 4 games. They’ll be dealing with (maybe) Crowder, Perriman, Mims and Berrios.

-Think that receiving crew is bad? Check out the Pats “”Posse of Inadequacy”, Myers, Byrd, Olszewski and some practice squadder whose name I forgot to write down. Lordy. There’s a few reasons why New England has only 1(!) TD pass through the air the last 4 weeks.

It’s all up to you guys now.

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Col. Duke LaCross

Death, Taxes and Cam Newton getting destroyed on a roughing call.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, they called a roughing call for Cam for once!

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s a Pavlovian response with the refs, hangover from when Brady was the NE QB.

Spur

Cam got lite up.

Senor Weaselo

So the cat’s back from the vet. It may be a neurological issue, because her motor functions have deteriorated in the last week or so.

We’ll see how it looks this week, with a steroid to try and ease some inflammation, but I’m not sure if it’ll be enough.

Doktor Zymm

Fingers crossed!

Sharkbait

Good luck!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A neurological issue? So she’s a Jets fan too?

Spur

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Doktor Zymm

In ancient Gaul there was a city called Bagacum

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, i need about 8 more meaty fantasy points from Cam to win, so i take issue with your opening salvo

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sorry I’m late and salty

LemonJello

Jets beating the Pats in an empty stadium is just the Jetsiest.

Senor Weaselo

To destroy the tank.

Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza

The black face mask on Belichick is wildly appropriate.

litre_cola

The Jets are totally going to win this game , just shooting themselves in the foot on the road to Trevor Lawrence.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s 2020, after all.

Senor Weaselo

Time to embrace the new QB/RB duo, Flacco/Gore!

Sharkbait

And my 0-16 bet. Assdicks.

Col. Duke LaCross

Goddammit, this is the week I pick the team playing the Jest in DFO eliminator.

LemonJello

TITS! HUMPS! Thusday Night Fitbaw!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Waiting for my food to get here so I can have some wine.

LemonJello

You should have some wine while you wait for your food.

Sharkbait

You should have some now, to make sure it’s still good. You don’t want to spoil good food with bad wine

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll have a whiskey to hold you over.

Recovery Whiskey

Really enjoying the post Brady Patriots

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

@Joliet Jake – this may be from before you became a regular here but I did a version of the Aristocrats: https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2017/05/03/the-bearistocrats/

Recovery Whiskey

NE is never lacking scrappy white guys

LemonJello

“NO ONE DENIES THIS!”

King Hippo

I really enjoyed Bob Saget’s during the documentary. But Gilbert Gottfried is the gold standard,

Don T

Kevin Pollack’s Chris Walken is the only thing I remember about that movie. It’s too freakin funny
https://youtube.com/watch?v=WSEfUkAm8-0

WCS

ELITEDOWN

That really was a terrific pass.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Oooh, an elite throw.

Spur

Am off this Friday, next Friday and Thanksgiving week.
Praying i can keep my sanity.

SonOfSpam

Sanity is WAY overrated. Stay drunk.

SonOfSpam

FLACCO COMPETENCE ACHIEVED

SonOfSpam

Eternally.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A nickname to consider for Daniel Jones given his, ahem, generous nature: Danny Donations.

LemonJello

Danny March of Dimes?

The Maestro

A Sanchez jersey? We’re gonna need to check her ID, I think.

SonOfSpam

As you can tell by the size, it was originally for her much younger sister.

Fronkenshteen

Jets linebackers don’t give a FUCK.

Fronkenshteen

Everyone getting these “Cuups” bra ads? Nipples!

SonOfSpam

I don’t abide hoar mongers.

Recovery Whiskey

Its the sneaky Canadian cultural reference. With Trebek gone someone has to pick up the ball and run forward before the snap with it.

Spur

yum. Sushi was a good call. nothing heavy

Sharkbait

Sushi is usually a great decision

Viva La Tabula Raza
SonOfSpam

Lame. That’s not how you wear a jersey.

rockingdog

wat
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Senor Weaselo

You feckless, gutless… YOU’RE OH AND FUCKING EIGHT!

(On the other hand full speed on the tank)

SonOfSpam

The movie was very very funny. And wrong. And funny.

King Hippo

We need a camera solely for Jest #77 waddling along the sidelines.

SonOfSpam

Nice to see Gore on the Jets and not have it be a Flight 93 docudrama.

The Maestro

WOOOOOOO

Senor Weaselo

I do love a good Rube Goldberg device (checks channel) PIX-11?

The Maestro

Mostly, I just want another buttfumble.

LemonJello

Is this going to be a classic “moveable object meets resistible force” match-up?

WCS

5-5 tie

clint greasewood

All I need is 6 points from the New England defense to secure a fantasy victory this week.

The Maestro

God, this game is going to be awful. And yet my never-ending pile of marking is somehow worse.

Bring it on, world. You can’t beat me down any more than I already am.

Spur

Are the Navy women sailors called seamen too?

LemonJello

Seaperson just doesn’t sound right.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think they’re all just sailors these days.

SonOfSpam

Actually women in the navy became more prevalent during the early 80s, back when Hall & Oates were at their peak. The women would joke about outdoing the men in day-to-day sailor tasks, often singing “Maneater” to show their superiority and camaraderie. Eventually the nickname stuck and the women became known as “SeaManeaters”

Was that too far to go for a weak payoff? As my wife often says, yeah, now can I get some sleep?

Doktor Zymm

California folks – how many of you have earthquake insurance?

TheRevanchist

No need for it for me. I live in the Central Valley, which means I’m not on any major fault line. Those guys along fault lines need worry about it.

Here is a link to show where earthquakes primarily happen vs the central part of the state (the shithole) where we have a lot less quakes.
https://scedc.caltech.edu/recent/

ballsofsteelandfury

Nope. Way too expensive.

If it shakes hard enough that the house falls down, you’re probably dead anyway.

SonOfSpam

I have it.

400 a year I think?

ballsofsteelandfury

Seriously? Who’s your insurance company? $400 a year is not bad at all. Are you sure it’s not $400 a month?

SonOfSpam

EQ insurance is administered by the state, so doesn’t matter what company you get it through (although we’re a State Farm family because Aaron Rodgers is dreamy). There are also options on deductibles (either 10 or 15%). May also depend on location, like if your house is in the middle of San Andreas Fault.

SonOfSpam

Looked it up to make sure…paid $470 this year.

Spur

I think Beefcake Sunday Night was a success. Felt good to get back to some normalcy again.

USA USA

LemonJello

Now Andy Reid is sad (and hungry) he missed out on this “Beefcake”

ballsofsteelandfury

Beefcake is what the nation needs to heal.

SonOfSpam

Worked wonders for me in that I achieved several erections.

Spur

Evening Folks!

rockingdog

bow wow

Doktor Zymm

This should at least be better than last night’s game, but I still think I’m going to keep playing Civ instead of watching

WCS

Stillers starting tight end Vance McDonald has the rona. So, this season was fun while it lasted.

Spur

He didnt happen to kiss Mike McCarthy yesterday, did he?

WCS

If that was the case, McDonald would be suffering from diabetes and high blood pressure as opposed to Covid.

ballsofsteelandfury

Even before this week’s beatdown, there is no way the Bucs were the best the NFC had to offer. Every NFC team has fatal flaws but the Seahawks, Packers, and Saints are all better than the Bucs.

Which means the Super Bowl is the Chiefs’ to lose.

TheRevanchist

I was worried about the Steelers being good competition for the Chiefs. But, then, they struggled a lot against the Cowpoke. I am no longer worried in the least.

Senor Weaselo

On a damper note, non-politician thoughts and prayers for Gata Weaselo. She’s at vet’s getting an x-ray for we’re not entirely sure what. For the last week or so she’s barely left her cave in the basement, and even though she’s an older kitty (she’s 15) if it were degenerative it wouldn’t appear seemingly overnight.

ballsofsteelandfury

Sorry to hear about that.

WCS

Booo.Sincerely sorry to see that. I lost my 15-year-old cat last month, so, I feel ya.

herodotus450
Spur

Sick pets are the worse. They cant tell you what’s wrong but they have the eyes and body language that say “please help me, it hurts”.

WCS

Stop making it dusty in here, please.

King Hippo

Awwwwww, fuck. Prayers indeed.

SonOfSpam

Best wishes – hopefully it’s nothing.

Senor Weaselo

Do you like football and/or yourself? Well then why are you watching this game?

ballsofsteelandfury

You like mayo on white bread?comment image

TheRevanchist

Salt is too spicy for me.

Sharkbait

I’m watching more to see if my 0-16 Jets bet lives for another week

Col. Duke LaCross

It’s either that or Stepmom porn and honestly I’m a little suspicious of the whole “dad’s wife got her hands caught in the bed frame” angle.

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