Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

Euro Footy action for you today:
England vs Germany 11 AM DFO in Wembely
Lotsa history between these two teams, but my guess is that it goes full time and then England loses on penalties.

Sweden vs Ukraine 2 PM DFO in Glasgow
In the battle for who has the better yellow and blue flag, me thinks that Sweden pulls through in regulation as Ukraine just doesn’t have it today.

*Note that all information on game outcomes done in a 3 second interwebs search.  

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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“If you thought North Macedonia was bad, the MLS continues later on ESPN!”
Horatio Cornblower

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I see Austria ditched the toothpaste uniforms, probably just to spite me.
Horatio Cornblower

That appears to be their Aim.
SonOfSpam

They appear to be on the Crest of pulling it off.
Horatio Cornblower

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With my first pick I take the “Blair Witch Project”
Game Time Decision

Damn. That was my pick. I guess I’ll go with Blair Witch Project.

/obligatory joke is obligatory
Warthog

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A meth lab just blew up down the road from us.

Fucking awesome.

Now where am I gonna get my meth?
Horatio Cornblower

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🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼

Don T

What’s that, the number of people he’s bitten today?
Horatio Cornblower

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DFO could have bought ad time for Los Sudamericano Euros on FS1. NEXT TIME PENDEJOS!!!
King Hippo

A colorful crawl saying “Sign In or Whatever”
Don T

¡PANTALONES NO!
ballsofsteelandfury

“¡Block Editor es el diablo!”
Beerguyrob

“Now with less Avett Brothers”
/gets feet pulled by ghost while sleeping
Don T

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Movers come in a few days so i HAVE to drink this beer.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Question: In this day and age, do you think a song like this could get released and become as popular as it was in the 80s?

ballsofsteelandfury

ah refuse to believe Soft Cell had a 2nd song
King Hippo

Your memory is tainted, love!
Gumbygirl

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I’m glad I’m not one of Cole Beasley’s relatives, that ‘days are numbered’ stuff sounds a lot like a threat. Although I guess the vaguely threatening tone and poor grammar is very much on-brand with the overall message.

For the NCAA, I think it would be pretty excellent to require schools to maintain at least a minimum graduation rate for their student athletes. After all, if you’re providing something insubstantial like education as compensation, then you should have some way of proving the value of what you’re providing. A degree has tangible value in a way that what they provide today does not.
Doktor Zymm

The real reason the NCAA has women’s sports- they bring the athletic gpa waaaay up. Helps hide some of the dumb bunny football and basketball “scholar-athletes.”
Gumbygirl

Absolute truth. They should make it a Title IX rule that Women’s GPA cannot be included in those calculations.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Howzabout Carl Nassib, the newest featured personality in “That’s my Gayders!”

For what it’s worth, good for him and it’s about time, and now that the franchise is in Las Vegas he has far more entertainment options than he did in Oakland.

SonOfSpam

Simpsons clip 7 “Lovejoy and Flanders” – YouTube

Sports: “An active NFL players has come out of the closet.”
DFO: (crosses fingers) “Brady. Brady. Brady. Brady.”
Sports: “Carl Nassib from the Las Vegas Raiders.”
DFO: “Aw. That’s not a real team.”
Redshirt

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Cole Beasley and Jon Stockton should get a room. Maybe they can invite Kirk Cousins or Sam Darnold over for a 3-way.
Viva La Tabula Raza

Cole Beasley: “I will retire before I get the vaccine! I am a Role Model!”
Me: “As God as my witness, I had to google your name to figure out who you were.”
Redshirt

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This loss by Scotland will cost me my lead in the DFO pool. I can feel that gently used fleshlight just slipping out of my fingers.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s just all the Astroglide on your hands.
SonOfSpam

Out of your fingers

Gumbygirl

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Worst trip to London for Scots since William Wallace.
Dunstan

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One thing I’ll say for the Euros — when it says “noon,” they really mean the action starts at noon, not “we’ll have 10-20 minutes of player intros and anthems and ceremony before we actually start playing.”
Dunstan

TAKE NOTES NHL!
Sharkbait

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KC’s Frank Clark arrested with an Uzi in a duffle bag.

It’s not like he was driving under the influence, crashed into a car parked on the roadside, causing life threatening injuries to a child.
LemonJello

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It has been a crazy day. I think also a productive day, but I’m ready for a few hours where I don’t have to think about any of the following: condo associations, windows, legitimacy, stakeholders of any sort, laundry room etiquette, laundry itself, qualitative metrics, transparency, accountability, aesthetic tastes in colors, and measuring abstract concepts.
Doktor Zymm

“Don’t want to think? I can help with that.” – the booze of your choice
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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found a funny:

just fucked myself up with the realization that phoenixes and the guy from chumbawumba have the same superpower
rockingdog

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My dog isn’t getting his walk tonight because it is cold and raining, and he is glaring at me like it’s my fault. Motherfucker, if I control the weather then why hasn’t a Cat 5 barreled into Mar-A-Lago by now?
Horatio Cornblower

And every single other Trump property around the globe, if I were to be consulted.
Viva La Tabula Raza

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I made some fairly bomb-ass carnitas last night. No sides survives so I’ve reheated the carnitas with fathers day mashed potatoes and asparagus.

I don’t talk much shit around here — and especially related to food/hometowns — but this is a good job by me.
blaxabbath

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Go Frogs Go!
King Hippo

SonOfSpam

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Did someone tell these Spaniards that “Slovakia” was a Meso-American culture?
LemonJello

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“At the edge of the 18” is when a soccer team starts to press forward and when Matt Gaetz starts to lose interest
Horatio Cornblower

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Slutvakia’s goalie is wanting.
scotchnaut

Or rather: the Slovak goalie is NOT a keeper.
scotchnaut

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The good people of Muncher should have told UEFA to stuff it up their bum and decked that stadium out with ginormous rainbows, and had every drag queen in Germany sitting right behind the Hungry Guy’s bench tossing glitter around and singing Judy Garland songs. Fuck these homophobes with a rusty fleshlight!
Gumbygirl

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Olympics: Local fans allowed, but no cheering – Chicago Tribune

Olympics only having up to 10,000 fans? No cheering? They all go home afterwards? This may be the first time that Cincinnati is ahead of the trend.
Redshirt

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My thanks to BGR. I have had a week. I have accepted a position in Stoughton, WI that would start at the beginning of July. I also have two open inquiries that would let me stay in Tucson. My brain is currently broken. I will be back amongst the living by Saturday.

Do what’s right for you and your family. If one of those jobs in Tucson comes through and you want it, don’t feel bad that you are not taking the WI one. They wouldn’t have any problem getting rid of you if it suited them. Don’t stress so much, we want you to be happy Jake!
Gumbygirl

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Rudy Guiliani suspended by the New York bar.
Dunstan

Too bad Rudy Guiliani wasn’t beaten by and with the New York bar.
LemonJello

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I usually despise Faux Noise… I will have to make an exception today, however.

“Fox Business Host Charles Payne called Barstool Sports Founder Dave Portnoy “a little b—-” during an interview on the network Thursday. ”
https://thehill.com/homenews/media/560129-fox-business-host-calls-barstools-portnoy-a-little-b-in-interview
BeefReeferLives

Who wins a Twitter war between Fox News viewers & Barstoolies?
Beerguyrob

The rest of us?
Dunstan

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So I think I can get some guilt free rest tomorrow due to getting my second shot, so do I get drunk and just deal with the double tomorrow?
litre_cola

You should answer your phone when your favourite brother in law calls you, drunk as hell at 8:30 pm is what you should do. You dirty, soggy, gummy-legged, worthless, fever-ridden, pigeon toed, backwards, with bad breath and knobby knees, and poor vision, bastard swine.
BC Dick

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All these songs are by Depeche Mode, now gimme my fleshlight.
Horatio Cornblower

Ironically, “Gimme My Fleshlight” was one of their bigger hits.
Dunstan

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Somebody call PETA, I just killed all the birds with 1 stone.

-got my second vaxx
-same pharmacy had a postal outlet, mailed Sharky his package
-next door was an Italian market, got the makings for a charcuterie board
-next to that was a fly fishing shop, this does not apply
-but next to that was a wine store!
Currently listening to my zune and coming to you from my Microsoft surface. I have wine, meat, and cheese too!
litre_cola

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This Wales team needs to learn how to pass the ball better.
TheRevanchist

Unfortunately, yelling “Im Open!” in Welsh takes 15 seconds and 98 syllables.
ArmedandHammered

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Sadly, I will miss most of today’s tilts as I will be traveling to a family reunion in, of all places, Syracuse.

If Jim Boeheim goes missing, it was probably me.
Horatio Cornblower

Family Member #1: “Let’s all gather in Syracuse.”

Family Member #2: “Syracuse? It’s not even centrally located for everyone. Why?”

Family Member #1: “You know… Horatio…”

Family Member #2: “Oh shit-I’ll call him with the good news.”

Family Member #1: “No, I want to call him.”

Family Member #2: “Fine. But I’m booking reservations for everyone at the hotel closest to the Carrier Dome.”

Family Member #1: “Fucking genius.”
scotchnaut

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June 26, 2021 11:18 pm
I’m not at all scared of that hammer throw lady.
Mr. Ayo

Scared-scared. or scared-erect?
SonOfSpam

turns off laptop camera
Mr. Ayo

The fuck am I paying for then???
SonOfSpam

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The best 30 minutes of any day is watching the last minute of a basketball game.
Mr. Ayo

It’s nice seeing 1:00 of game time left and knowing there’s plenty of time for me to run out and grab a burrito and still be able to catch the final play.

I made this comment in the reddit game thread 17 minutes ago.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Oh fuck yeah! Andy Reid is on Diners Drive ins and Dives. Hilarious!
Gumbygirl

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I can share this here because you are my invisible internet friends. I have two ideas dominating my brain.

I am terrified. I have been off work for over a year. Fired for the first time in my life. I know my past employer was a group of inbred morons. Doesn’t shut off the voices in my brain.

I am grateful. I have found a company who values my input enough to hire me for a 9 month contract because they think I add value. They have pursued me from day one. They are certainly smarter than my last employer.

I am still not permitted to meet with Aaron Rodgers.

I’ll tell you what I always tell my lady friend:

Don’t waste time and energy on people that are not worth it.

Move forward and only think positive thoughts. You are smart and these people believe in you. Pay them back.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Disappointed in Ohtani today, couldn’t even get a lousy single.

I mean, he hit a home run, a triple, a double, walked, and stole a base…but where’s the single?

Weak sauce (unlike what’s on those delicious ribs).
SonOfSpam

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De Ligt is a very good footballer
King Hippo

Groove is in his heart, for sure.
scotchnaut

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Yeah Right’s new shoegaze band – Silverskin Pickoffs.
King Hippo

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This weekend is the beginning of my most stupid Fandom (and I am a cubs fan). I love watching the Tour de France. I would tape every stage and watch it when I got home from work. Now I can watch it live!

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I feel your pain. 41 here in the Okanagan but you get the humidity in Van too. My AC is working hard to keep it under 75 inside. I use Fahrenheit inside and Celsius outside. The Canadian way. Like grocery stores that advertise in price per pound but use kg in the store. Hope you’re all having a good Sunday, time for more beer.
BC Dick

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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