What’s going on? Almost too much, right? Yesterday the news broke in wave after wave of infos. Patricia has been exiled to a Golden Corral upstate, a female kicker made history with a squibber, the Broncos lost all their qb’s and the Ravens are coviding to the tune of 20 (and still counting?) players. And I may have missed some other things but I haven’t checked the news. Has a nuclear device detonated somewhere? Are these the hallowed End Times or is just another day? Most likely the latter, I guess.
TO THE GAMES!
Raiders/Falcons:
This will most likely be the Brian Hill show because Gurley is out and Las Vegas can’t defend the run for crapola. I’ll say it-Julio is overrated. Yes, he’s gone off a few times (137, 137, 157) but his dud games (24, 32, 54, 39) outnumber them and he’s once again got a paltry (3) amount of TD’s to his name. He’s DeSean Jackson in a larger frame.
Chargers/Bills:
Young Bucks With Big Arms Meet For First Time reads my title and it sounds like a porno. Moving on… But it should be noted that both these fellas have fantastic numbers while under pressure because of their mobility which buys them time when the pocket shrinks or collapses altogether. No idea who is rb-ing for the Chargers-Ekeler is sorta back but may not get much action, Ballage is banged up, Kelley is in the doghouse so Troymaine Pope?
Giants/Bengals:
Since he’s returned wr Shepard leads the team in targets, catches and red zone looks-it’ll be a long day for covering cb Leshaun Sims. When brand new Cincy qb Brandon Allen (Hippo shakes tiny fist because not Ryan Finley) drops back to pass his first look should go to Tyler Boyd and not Higgins because the former will be covered by badly-struggling rook cb Darnay Holmes. Wows, Giants Wayne Gallman is fantasy’s RB7 over the last five weeks.
Titans/Colts:
Of course you start him but temper your expectations for rb Henry because the Colts shut down the run game better than pretty much anyone else. This looks like a spot where Mike Pittman might go off-his 223 air yards the last 2 weeks lead the team and the last time these two teams played Rivers went for 308. Corey Davis is finally delivering on his high draft spot-fantasy-wise he’s averaging 14 points per game.
Panthers/Vikes:
Teddy B would appear to be a great streaming option today-the Vikes pressure rate is dead last in the league and they’ve given up the most passing TD’s from a clean pocket. Every one of Bridgewater’s 6 spots have come from a clean pocket.
Cards/Pats:
The Hopkins/Gilmore matchup looks like a good one if the latter is available. He’s had a bit of success matching up with this wr in recent ‘entanglements’. Is this the spot where wr Kirk goes nuclear? The Pats are last in average yards per target and 2nd-last in deep pass percentage completed. Kirk leads his team in deep passes targeted with 13.
Fins/Jets:
You can add Denzel Mims to the long, long list of rook wr’s finally getting their feet under them. He’s seen 326 air yards and a 22% target share the last two weeks. The wet blanket in this scenario comes in the form of cb Xavien Howard. This should be a get-well tilt for Tua because the Jets secondary is dead last in overall coverage grades.
Browns/Jags:
The Giraffe is under center in Jacktown so you might want to pump the brakes on Chark. With Luton under center 33% of looks to Chark were on deep passes. The last time Glennon played on a regular basis he threw deep 7% of the time. Cleveland has been the team most likely to run the ball over the last month. Not a surprise given the talent in their backfield. Jarvis Landry is still second on the team behind OBJ in fantasy points for wr’s despite the fact the latter played his last full game back in week 6.
Have at it, savages!
Why do guys punch other guys that are wearing helmets. I guess 2-digit IQs come into play at some point.
Worst
Dropped
INT
EVER
RidleyDown!
/needed that
BTW Scotchy, I agreed with yer assessment re, Clots run D. Tits just clickin’ just like in the Bills game after TEN’s Covid scare.
I just figured he’d just have a low ypc and a TD. That was incorrect.
I don’t know shit about FF except the Sanskrit I read here, but I guess Derrick Henry is doing better than predicted in the write-up above. Holy moly, that guy is a beast.
I was factoring in the Colts D showing up today. They did not.
This is why I do not gamble.
“Will you at least try gamboling?”
-18th Century English Poets
Got all that out of my system by the time I hit 60. As the man said, if I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.
Tractorcito down # TRES ?
Good News? My decision to bench Matt Ryan looks good so far.
Same.
He’s got the Saints next week and then the Chargers and then the Saints again. I think I’m done with him.
I guess that’s a different Keyshawn Johnson playing for the Cards. The player I am familiar with was born in 1972 and only George Blanda played until that age.
He was short
Josh Allen Foot Bendy Alert!
Facing Derrick Henry in my money league. I don’t think I’ll win
Grilled some salmon for lunch and holy shit did the cat materialize out of nowhere like some sort of famished wizard.
That’s what happens when you light the Cat Signal
“Remember that dead rat I left on the front porch for you last week? You owe me.”
-HoratioCat
My cat dismembered a mouse in the middle of the night on Thanksgiving. I’m still finding the body parts. Thanks Henry!
Chryon crawl at the top of my screen is telling me that I may not be able to see the local CBS affiliate on DirecTV starting tomorrow evening. Wonder what the fuck is up with that.
Brinksmanship between the local affiliate and DirecTV.
My feeling has always been, if you broadcast your signal to where it can be picked up with an antenna, you can not charge carriage fees. You are already getting advertising dollars, you want carriage fees, then no ads. No double dipping.
It’s CBS. They think they’re so fucking special that everyone is willing to pay extra for their shitty sitcoms and therefore there is no reason for them to join cable and streaming services
How am I supposed to know what disasters are befalling Chicago without CBS!?
[is still upset that my pitch for Chicago: Animal Control got rejected]
My pitch for Chicago Sanitation was similarly shitcanned.
I still can’t find my show: Chicago Lost and Found.
“YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT THERE IS NO AUDIENCE FOR CHICAGO ZONING BOARD OF APPEALS!!!” I scream, as I am dragged out of Les Mooves’s office for the third time in a week.
Don’t forget making YTTV subscribers pay $15 more a month while getting the MTVs and VH1s thrown in
I look forward to spying on all your backyard activities!
A.J. Green is an un-ripened pistachio shell of his former self.
I can’t tell if this is sexual innuendo or not.
Just make sure it doesn’t cover the well.
Narc
“…otics? Yes please!” – Hippo
Well, my days of sneaking in JJD’s back door are over.
Wait, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded…
Afternoon!
Re: The Dolphins catch: If the wideout has two feet on the ground and catches the ball, it’s a catch. If the wideout has two feet on the ground and catches the ball and then drops it, it’s a fumble. Fuck football moves and other interpretive nonsense.
Make catches understandable again
NFL: “Let’s compromise. The rule now requires a ‘football gesture.'”
Football feeling
A football family
Cole Beasley is a better option than at least 4 NFL teams starting QBs today.
Bills Trickeration!
“Redshirt! Its time to carry in the Christmas Decorations!”
“Good! Let me know how it turns out!”
“Please give me updates all afternoon.”
Made fun of Landry so of course he gets a 6. Another NFL player that reads the intros.
Oh shit, Engram fumble. This is gonna be a long game.
Raiders at 4000 yards and Goal, 2nd down
Fumble so never mind.
Overturned!
Golden Tate prop hits.
Damnit
The Weapon returns woooo!
/punts inside the 20
Aaaaaaaah. That’s the stuff.
Pouring the remnants of a cold beer into a colder beer that is sitting between two laptops-just call me Johnny Dangerously.*
*Dated Pop Culture Reference Achievement Unlocked
I’ve gotta watch it again-much younger me lost it when he was casually putting costs on puppies with a pricing gun.
The shelf paper on the getaway car still cracks me up.
“The Lower East Side. This reeeally sucks.”
Teenage me might have hit puberty two seconds after Marilu Henner hit the screen in that movie.
Once
come on
RB Gio Bernard
run the ball
catch the ball
Get POINTS!!!!!
2 false starts on Cam Fleming already. Jeezuz!
Terrible of me, but I can’t be the only one who watches those Progressive commercials and is surprised Baker Mayfield’s wife isn’t more attractive
Even money can’t cover up his fugly face.
Does Fitzmagic hate DeVante Parker? Did Parker go to Yale or something?
OIP.dFBfuWmdIl2jBfHx51PnFwHaGt (474×429) (bing.com)
Live shot of the Bengals Run Defense.
Will they wash my car for $5?
That AJ Brown TD was by FAR, the best play by my fantasy football team all year.
I LOLd
https://twitter.com/ReelQuinn/status/1332761840217182208?s=19
No wonder you don’t hear about Falcon’s players getting covid, they can’t seem to catch anything.
Dammit, why can’t we change the banner?!?!?
Have you tried using Block Editor?
/runs and hides
Are we keeping a list of all banner-worthy posts?
Lo Celso. The fuck man!
Time machine Patriots, it’s 1990 in Foxboro again.
Only without the 1990 uniforms.
Meh, I’m not wearing the same clothes I wore 30 years ago either.
Jesus 1990 being 30 years ago is a mindfuck
Only because we were alive 30 years ago
The fact that I’m getting old and am going to die sometime really hit me when I turned 61 this past summer; and getting my head around that continues to affect my mindset. What the fuck.
Is it too much to ask for Cam Newton to throw a few touchdowns today? Yes? Ok then, carry on.
I start Jakobi Meyers, so yes. Yes it is.
/benches Trey Burton, he always scores.
Every. Fucking. Time.
Everyone scoring today seems to be on my opponent’s fantasy roster
I really should start betting on player props. Golden Tate’s catches was 1 1/2.
guess he hasn’t cuckolded Danny Dimebag yet
As though Danny has a girlfriend.
Elisha probably warned him about cooties, that first camp day
Eli: “Now that you’re the starter, I gift you one of my most precious possessions.”
Danny: [eyes widen, gasps] “A race car bed! No, I can’t!”
Eli: “It’s yours now. Say it with me, ‘Vrooom, Vrooom’.”
Mante Teo’s girlfriends sister.
Fuck how did I miss THAT bet. Wouldve taken that in a second
Ohio really needs to legalize sports betting. Its not worth driving 90 minutes.
This particular bet sounds good, but in general player props seems like setting a fantasy lineup with real money
That’s Rikki’s Raiders!
Bungles did a good?
I think its Gy-Ants did a bad, but we’ll take it.
Giants ‘special’ teams make an appearance 7-7.
Special Team TD for a “Special” Team
Great* minds and all.
*special
I know my team.
“Welcome to Dawson City.”
-Bills te Knox
El Tractoricito taking the little ponies to the glue factory on that drive.
That was a little too easy.
What was Laserface doing all masked liek sum libtard who shud SUCK IT???
Somebody told him the ‘Rona can cause sterility?
The only protective cover he approves of.
GALLMANDOWN! Giants moved thru Cincy as fast as residents leaving Cincy.
Not with the quality of our roads.
TROOF! Every time I have driven through OH and/or PA, the prevailing thought is ain’t y’all heard of TAXES??
DC and Columbus took our money.
They might have took your money, but they damn sure didn’t spend it on roads in Columbus.
Yeah, I know. I left my heart and one of my shocks in Columbus.
How haven’t they come up with something more durable than asphalt and concrete? Zero technological improvement in the last 100 years
What and disrupt all of the crooked political road schemes and union scams? People depend on them for their livelihood!
Gigantes WOO!!!!
/down to just me, Col. Duke, and NATO Pats Fan (quit lurking!!) in DFO SurvivoUr