Your “What’s Goin’ On?” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

What’s going on? Almost too much, right? Yesterday the news broke in wave after wave of infos. Patricia has been exiled to a Golden Corral upstate, a female kicker made history with a squibber, the Broncos lost all their qb’s and the Ravens are coviding to the tune of 20 (and still counting?) players. And I may have missed some other things but I haven’t checked the news. Has a nuclear device detonated somewhere? Are these the hallowed End Times or is just another day? Most likely the latter, I guess.

TO THE GAMES!

Raiders/Falcons:

This will most likely be the Brian Hill show because Gurley is out and Las Vegas can’t defend the run for crapola. I’ll say it-Julio is overrated. Yes, he’s gone off a few times (137, 137, 157) but his dud games (24, 32, 54, 39) outnumber them and he’s once again got a paltry (3) amount of TD’s to his name. He’s DeSean Jackson in  a larger frame.

Chargers/Bills:

Young Bucks With Big Arms Meet For First Time reads my title and it sounds like a porno. Moving on… But it should be noted that both these fellas have fantastic numbers while under pressure because of their mobility which buys them time when the pocket shrinks or collapses altogether. No idea who is rb-ing for the Chargers-Ekeler is sorta back but may not get much action, Ballage is banged up, Kelley is in the doghouse so Troymaine Pope?

Giants/Bengals:

Since he’s returned wr Shepard leads the team in targets, catches and red zone looks-it’ll be a long day for covering cb Leshaun Sims. When brand new Cincy qb Brandon Allen (Hippo shakes tiny fist because not Ryan Finley) drops back to pass his first look should go to Tyler Boyd and not Higgins because the former will be covered by badly-struggling rook cb Darnay Holmes. Wows, Giants Wayne Gallman is fantasy’s RB7 over the last five weeks.

Titans/Colts:

Of course you start him but temper your expectations for rb Henry because the Colts shut down the run game better than pretty much anyone else. This looks like a spot where Mike Pittman might go off-his 223 air yards the last 2 weeks lead the team and the last time these two teams played Rivers went for 308. Corey Davis is finally delivering on his high draft spot-fantasy-wise he’s averaging 14 points per game.

Panthers/Vikes:

Teddy B would appear to be a great streaming option today-the Vikes pressure rate is dead last in the league and they’ve given up the most passing TD’s from a clean pocket. Every one of Bridgewater’s 6 spots have come from a clean pocket.

Cards/Pats:

The Hopkins/Gilmore matchup looks like a good one if the latter is available. He’s had a bit of success matching up with this wr in recent ‘entanglements’. Is this the spot where wr Kirk goes nuclear? The Pats are last in average yards per target and 2nd-last in deep pass percentage completed. Kirk leads his team in deep passes targeted with 13.

Fins/Jets:

You can add Denzel Mims to the long, long list of rook wr’s finally getting their feet under them. He’s seen 326 air yards and a 22% target share the last two weeks. The wet blanket in this scenario comes in the form of cb Xavien Howard. This should be a get-well tilt for Tua because the Jets secondary is dead last in overall coverage grades.

Browns/Jags:

The Giraffe is under center in Jacktown so you might want to pump the brakes on Chark. With Luton under center 33% of looks to Chark were on deep passes. The last time Glennon played on a regular basis he threw deep 7% of the time. Cleveland has been the team most likely to run the ball over the last month. Not a surprise given the talent in their backfield. Jarvis Landry is still second on the team behind OBJ in fantasy points for wr’s despite the fact the latter played his last full game back in week 6.

Have at it, savages!

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Why do guys punch other guys that are wearing helmets. I guess 2-digit IQs come into play at some point.

Don T

Worst
Dropped
INT
EVER

Don T

BTW Scotchy, I agreed with yer assessment re, Clots run D. Tits just clickin’ just like in the Bills game after TEN’s Covid scare.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t know shit about FF except the Sanskrit I read here, but I guess Derrick Henry is doing better than predicted in the write-up above. Holy moly, that guy is a beast.

Viva La Tabula Raza

This is why I do not gamble.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Got all that out of my system by the time I hit 60. As the man said, if I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.

Don T

Tractorcito down # TRES ?

Game Time Decision

Same.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess that’s a different Keyshawn Johnson playing for the Cards. The player I am familiar with was born in 1972 and only George Blanda played until that age.

Sharkbait

He was short

Sharkbait

Facing Derrick Henry in my money league. I don’t think I’ll win

Horatio Cornblower

Grilled some salmon for lunch and holy shit did the cat materialize out of nowhere like some sort of famished wizard.

Doktor Zymm

That’s what happens when you light the Cat Signal

Gumbygirl

My cat dismembered a mouse in the middle of the night on Thanksgiving. I’m still finding the body parts. Thanks Henry!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Chryon crawl at the top of my screen is telling me that I may not be able to see the local CBS affiliate on DirecTV starting tomorrow evening. Wonder what the fuck is up with that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Brinksmanship between the local affiliate and DirecTV.

ArmedandHammered

My feeling has always been, if you broadcast your signal to where it can be picked up with an antenna, you can not charge carriage fees. You are already getting advertising dollars, you want carriage fees, then no ads. No double dipping.

Doktor Zymm

It’s CBS. They think they’re so fucking special that everyone is willing to pay extra for their shitty sitcoms and therefore there is no reason for them to join cable and streaming services

Horatio Cornblower

How am I supposed to know what disasters are befalling Chicago without CBS!?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[is still upset that my pitch for Chicago: Animal Control got rejected]

Viva La Tabula Raza

My pitch for Chicago Sanitation was similarly shitcanned.

Gumbygirl

I still can’t find my show: Chicago Lost and Found.

Horatio Cornblower

“YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT THERE IS NO AUDIENCE FOR CHICAGO ZONING BOARD OF APPEALS!!!” I scream, as I am dragged out of Les Mooves’s office for the third time in a week.

BaldingSpiritually

Don’t forget making YTTV subscribers pay $15 more a month while getting the MTVs and VH1s thrown in

Doktor Zymm

I look forward to spying on all your backyard activities!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t tell if this is sexual innuendo or not.

Horatio Cornblower

Just make sure it doesn’t cover the well.
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Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Narc

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“…otics? Yes please!” – Hippo

Dunstan

Well, my days of sneaking in JJD’s back door are over.

Wait, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded…

Wakezilla

Afternoon!

Re: The Dolphins catch: If the wideout has two feet on the ground and catches the ball, it’s a catch. If the wideout has two feet on the ground and catches the ball and then drops it, it’s a fumble. Fuck football moves and other interpretive nonsense.

Make catches understandable again

Dunstan

NFL: “Let’s compromise. The rule now requires a ‘football gesture.'”

Game Time Decision

Football feeling

Wakezilla

A football family

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cole Beasley is a better option than at least 4 NFL teams starting QBs today.

Redshirt

“Redshirt! Its time to carry in the Christmas Decorations!”
“Good! Let me know how it turns out!”

TheRevanchist

Raiders at 4000 yards and Goal, 2nd down

TheRevanchist

Fumble so never mind.

TheRevanchist

Overturned!

Sharkbait

Damnit

Don T

The Weapon returns woooo!
/punts inside the 20
Aaaaaaaah. That’s the stuff.

LemonJello

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LemonJello

The shelf paper on the getaway car still cracks me up.

Fronkenshteen

“The Lower East Side. This reeeally sucks.”

Horatio Cornblower

Teenage me might have hit puberty two seconds after Marilu Henner hit the screen in that movie.
comment image

Don T

Once

rockingdog

come on
RB Gio Bernard

run the ball
catch the ball
Get POINTS!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Terrible of me, but I can’t be the only one who watches those Progressive commercials and is surprised Baker Mayfield’s wife isn’t more attractive

TheRevanchist

Even money can’t cover up his fugly face.

Doktor Zymm

Does Fitzmagic hate DeVante Parker? Did Parker go to Yale or something?

Redshirt

OIP.dFBfuWmdIl2jBfHx51PnFwHaGt (474×429) (bing.com)

Live shot of the Bengals Run Defense.

Doktor Zymm

Will they wash my car for $5?

Fronkenshteen

That AJ Brown TD was by FAR, the best play by my fantasy football team all year.

ArmedandHammered

No wonder you don’t hear about Falcon’s players getting covid, they can’t seem to catch anything.

ballsofsteelandfury

Dammit, why can’t we change the banner?!?!?

Redshirt

Are we keeping a list of all banner-worthy posts?

Sharkbait

Lo Celso. The fuck man!

Last edited 3 years ago by Sharkbait
Viva La Tabula Raza

Time machine Patriots, it’s 1990 in Foxboro again.

Redshirt

Only without the 1990 uniforms.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Meh, I’m not wearing the same clothes I wore 30 years ago either.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Jesus 1990 being 30 years ago is a mindfuck

Doktor Zymm

Only because we were alive 30 years ago

Viva La Tabula Raza

The fact that I’m getting old and am going to die sometime really hit me when I turned 61 this past summer; and getting my head around that continues to affect my mindset. What the fuck.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it too much to ask for Cam Newton to throw a few touchdowns today? Yes? Ok then, carry on.

King Hippo

I start Jakobi Meyers, so yes. Yes it is.

litre_cola

/benches Trey Burton, he always scores.

Every. Fucking. Time.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Everyone scoring today seems to be on my opponent’s fantasy roster

King Hippo

guess he hasn’t cuckolded Danny Dimebag yet

King Hippo

Elisha probably warned him about cooties, that first camp day

ArmedandHammered

Mante Teo’s girlfriends sister.

Sharkbait

Fuck how did I miss THAT bet. Wouldve taken that in a second

Redshirt

Ohio really needs to legalize sports betting. Its not worth driving 90 minutes.

Doktor Zymm

This particular bet sounds good, but in general player props seems like setting a fantasy lineup with real money

King Hippo

That’s Rikki’s Raiders!

litre_cola

Bungles did a good?

Redshirt

I think its Gy-Ants did a bad, but we’ll take it.

Redshirt

Special Team TD for a “Special” Team

Redshirt

I know my team.

LemonJello

El Tractoricito taking the little ponies to the glue factory on that drive.

King Hippo

What was Laserface doing all masked liek sum libtard who shud SUCK IT???

LemonJello

Somebody told him the ‘Rona can cause sterility?

ArmedandHammered

The only protective cover he approves of.

Redshirt

Not with the quality of our roads.

King Hippo

TROOF! Every time I have driven through OH and/or PA, the prevailing thought is ain’t y’all heard of TAXES??

Redshirt

DC and Columbus took our money.

BugEyedBoo

They might have took your money, but they damn sure didn’t spend it on roads in Columbus.

Redshirt

Yeah, I know. I left my heart and one of my shocks in Columbus.

Doktor Zymm

How haven’t they come up with something more durable than asphalt and concrete? Zero technological improvement in the last 100 years

ArmedandHammered

What and disrupt all of the crooked political road schemes and union scams? People depend on them for their livelihood!

King Hippo

Gigantes WOO!!!!

/down to just me, Col. Duke, and NATO Pats Fan (quit lurking!!) in DFO SurvivoUr