Your Second Half of the Doubleheader Monday Night Football Open Thread

There is nothing wrong at all with oddball football-viewing options. I don’t even care that Team and the Steelers are scoreless at the start of the 2nd quarter. I WANT MORE COVID-RELATED CHAOS IN MY LIFE! Well, in front of my eyeballs, anyway. Were there some consequences felt after yesterday’s play? I’m glad I asked myself.

Fallout:

-As noted in the previous gamethread, Gregg Williams is on to his next gig as a bullying exercise instructor at a fat camp. This is what happens when you blitz all out twice, leaving your cb on an island with no deep middle safety to help out. when you knew the other team had to go to the end zone. And that damn putz is going to find another job…

-So the next team that will potentially wreak havoc with the sked are the Carolina Panthers. They’ve got eight (and counting?) players listed including D.J. Moore and Curtis Samuel although the latter has ‘close contact’ status. Good luck team, we’re depending on you.

-It was inevitable-Wentz finally got benched. Thus the qb controversy can really get underway in Philly. Polite discussions Ahoy!

-As the playoff picture takes shape, so too does the draft order-as of now the top 8 picks are thus-NYJ, (natch) Jags, Bangles, Chargers, Boys, Eagles, Panthers and Falcons. I do have faith in Team falling in with this lot though, eventually.

-So there they are-the quietest 8-3 team is now 9-3. And the talk of Baker Mayfield “finally turning the corner” will rear it’s completely expected head. He’s doing fine because he has the league’s best o-line and two fantastic rb’s, he doesn’t have to do much and it shows in his team’s success.

TO THE GAME!

Bills/Niners:

-Now that San Franny’s secondary is sorta in one piece the D can start balling again. All credit goes to Shanny Jr. for keeping the team afloat when so many other coaches would not be able to do it. It also speaks well of the GM and scouting staff, given that the team has so much depth.

-Where was I? Right, I was thinking that this will be an interesting battle between Diggs and his league-leading target share of 26.5% and various cb’s. You see, Stephon moves around the field a bit so there won’t be a Richard Sherman shadow.

-The backfield of Moss and Singletary seems a bit muddled in that neither seem to know/understand their roles. Each of them seem to get pulled at odd times. Moss is getting the carries in the red zone but if the situation calls for a pass the other comes in. Hard to see what DaBoll is doing. Not criticizing, just can’t figure it out.

-The Bills front of Hughes, Butler, Oliver and Addison is one of the league’s most under-rated and is starting to gel. Over the last 5 weeks they’ve applied quick pressure on qb’s at a 26% rate and that’s the best out there during that time.

-Aiyuk is back so it’s hard to know how targets will be split because he’s not played at the same time as Deebo very often this year.

Give me some of those sweet, sweet comments.

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
173 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Doktor Zymm

Hah, 49rs for 49 yds

Don T

Bills are scary good again. Well that’s just great. Time for a sleeping aid.*

*Book. Self-help book ??‍♂️

Viva La Tabula Raza

Gal I met in college in 1987 and ended up dating through 2004 was from Buffalo. We started going out just before the Bills’ run of 4 straight SB losses and she didn’t know shit about football; I felt it was my duty to get her sorted, especially since Jim Kelly had just joined the team. During the 1st SB (wide right), she was bummed out but not devastated. By the 4th loss, to the Cowboys, she was in tears and sobbing. Quite a monster I created.
We still text during Pats/Bills games.
So, even though I’m a diehard Pats fan, I’ll always pull for division-mate Bills when it doesn’t negatively affect NE, or when NE sux.

Doktor Zymm

You’re lucky she forgave you 😛

Viva La Tabula Raza

Deep down I don’t really know that she did for certain. Seeing how the Bills have done for the last quarter century, it’s a guilt trip I will carry to my grave.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Brocky

FoooBAWLLLLLLLLLLZLLLLLL!!!!1!!!!

clint greasewood

Diggs TD please

Sharkbait

Subscribe

Doktor Zymm

Unexpected!

Viva La Tabula Raza

SUDDEN CHANGE!
Well, they’re up 14, so not THAT sudden.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Unsurprised

Oh, so you think you’re hot shit, Mr. 13% abv rye oak barrel aged coffee stout. Just because I got drunk after #2. Well, let’s see what happens after I drink number 3.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Kaepernick ought to just go ahead and play in the CFL. Worked out okay for Flutie and Moon. He can bank his undisclosed NFL settlement money and live on the Loonies. Win a few Grey Cups, too.

Sharkbait

I wonder if that undisclosed settlement includes a non-compete. If he tore it up in the CFL, it would make the NFL look even worse than they already do in this scenario.

Doktor Zymm

I suspect the NFL itself isn’t smart enough to think of that, but their lawyers probably are

Unsurprised

Mike Bidwill is a lawyer.

Doktor Zymm

So is Rudy Giuliani

Viva La Tabula Raza

Actually, there’s quite a list out there.

Unsurprised

And we’re all stupid as fuck.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Certainly seems like something The Shield would come up with.

Senor Weaselo

*Gets math wrong* -Also Nate Silver

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

Sharkbait

I find the lack of Diggs disturbing

Doktor Zymm

He’s on the sideline playing patty-cake with Deebo

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just realized we have Youtube thumbnails back as well. Nice.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess because of the Covid, Bills fans are reduced to getting drunk at home and diving off their front porch roofs on to trestle tables in the front yard. Needs more youtube posts from Zoom footage.

Doktor Zymm

It’ll be nice to get back to normal again, especially when normal is this:comment image?w=980&q=75

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not enough Zubaz from the Before Times.

LemonJello

comment image

Don T

Punk as fuck. Plus, I guess this describes the plight of the modern Jet fans
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=2qjOEQattO4

clint greasewood

Even more Punk. Describes the Jets coach Adam Gase in a post game interview.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j58V2vC9EPc

Don T

The laptop and cellphones caught me offguard. Thought it was from the 80s!

clint greasewood

Just a little behind in Australia.

Gumbygirl

White Punks on Dope! Haven’t heard that in years.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I still have that LP.

litre_cola

comment image

Senor Weaselo

The more I look at it the worse it gets!

Unsurprised

It’s like one of those magic pictures.

litre_cola

WHO THOUGHT THIS ANIMATION SHIT WAS A GOOD IDEA???? WERE THERE NOT TEST GROUPS???

Doktor Zymm

I kind of enjoy the nostalgic ineptness of it, it looks like something I would have been really proud of programming in high school

Doktor Zymm

comment image

LemonJello

Is that DubbleJ and Dungy’s love child?

Unsurprised

Too pretty

Doktor Zymm

This is from a game released in 2005 and it’s SIGNIFICANTLY better animation than the NFL has going on today:comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like the cheesy animation they use for Dept of Defense training.comment image

LemonJello

Fucking annual Info Assurance training…

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m not a big fan of the Force Protection, either.
At least they’ve throttled back on the Sexual Assault Awareness stuff over the last couple years, I guess in deference to the current Commander in Chief.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Gumbygirl

Does he have boobs? That’s pretty progressive for the DoD!

Doktor Zymm

Can’t discriminate on basis of gynecomastia nowadays!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Robert “Bob” Paulson believes this is societal progress.comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hell, there’s even women of Asian descent, and (gasp!) Black people!!!

Unsurprised

They re-use Goldeneye graphics?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I can think of multiple reasons for her to be kneeling

Viva La Tabula Raza

I was kind of hoping that Pittsburgh would enter the SB this year undefeated, only to lose to the Cinderella Story NY Giants. It would have been even better if Eli was still NYG QB for this scenario.

Doktor Zymm

And if David Tyree came out of retirement

Sharkbait

I WAS* done drinking tonight but after these comments I need another g&t

* I wasn’t, but now I have an excuse

Doktor Zymm

Glad to help! Cheers!

Recovery Whiskey

It is thanks to you and DFO that I learned of the whole ‘airbrushed sports jersey’ concept. Thank you.

LemonJello

comment image

“This is the way.”

Sharkbait

Bring back Matt?

Sharkbait

You’re not Stefon Diggs

Doktor Zymm

Buffalo balls won’t you come out tonight?

LemonJello

“SIR! This is an Arby’s!”

litre_cola

TJ Yeldon is still in the league?

LemonJello

“Aw, shucks! You’re too kind.”
comment image

jjfozz

So i had my knee scoped today, and got really good drugs. so i’m there, and here. and bourbone does a great job washing it all down

litre_cola

How’s the knee?

jjfozz

stiff

litre_cola

Are the Fozz spawn your manservants while on the mend?

Gumbygirl

He asked about your KNEE Fozz.

yeah right

God speed my friend. If you need physical therapy advice you’re talking to the king of knee injuries.

TheRevanchist

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>The Steelers tonight… <a href=”https://t.co/rqVLZDcHeW”>pic.twitter.com/rqVLZDcHeW</a></p>&mdash; NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) <a href=”https://twitter.com/NFL_Memes/status/1336125346308108289?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>December 8, 2020</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

Unsurprised

I wasn’t initially shocked that NFL Memes directed back to DFO

Sharkbait

I thought when you banged someone in the flat you wanted to reach around

litre_cola

Nah you just want to make sure you British roommate isn’t home.

Doktor Zymm

Unless you’re into that sort of thing

litre_cola

I am a little old for it now but back in the 90’s…

Redshirt

I’m don’t like how we are still calling the the San Francisco 49ers. Can we call them the Alta California 49ers?

Gumbygirl

The Glendale AZ 49’ers. People forget about the big gold rush there.

Viva La Tabula Raza

There’s some mighty big copper mines between PHX and the southern border.

Recovery Whiskey

The San Francisco 49ers of Santa Clara

Beerguyrob

To really make this an Arizona 49ers game, ESPN should have Dave Mustaine cover “Enter Sandman”.

rockingdog

cookie monster mural alert
comment image

LemonJello

“Forward to most glorious cookie future!”

Redshirt

Either “world domination” or something about a “cookie”.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Did Allstate change the Edith Piaf song in their ad? I think so…

Don T

Awful lotta testosterone on Inches and Goal this Monday Night. How ‘bout some misdirection?
/evades homophobia

LemonJello

Does “shit show” adequately describe this game so far?

Redshirt

No, shit actually requires effort and produces shit for said effort.

This is a Constipation Show.

Sharkbait

Need a couple diggsdowns tonight

Sharkbait

Holy shit. 21 years since the bills won on Monday night?

litre_cola

I have the Bills ML and the under. I do not trust Nick “Chris” Mullens.

Last edited 3 years ago by litre_cola
Doktor Zymm

Apparently there’s been an increase in people showing up at the hospital with rickets. Just because there’s a lockdown, y’all can still go outside!

LemonJello

What do the scurvy numbers look like?

Sharkbait

I’ve been drinking plenty of gin and tonics. If its good enough for the British navy, it’s good enough for me

Gumbygirl

Gumby and I both had to take massive doses of Vitamin D earlier this year Didn’t think of rickets, now I’m paranoid!

Doktor Zymm

It’s really not very probable, otherwise the entire Midwest would get rickets every winter

TheRevanchist

I had a massive dose of D, too. Turns out, I’m not gay, though. Just slutty.

litre_cola

Polish fullback is a good PornHub search term.

LemonJello

“Polish Fullback” sounds like an option at Litre’s Thigh-Land rub-n-tug joint.

Redshirt

I’m not sure why we’re all laughing at this. Didn’t the actual 49ers leave California when its fortunes have turned.

rockingdog

49ers ROCKIN early

Redshirt

/ found a funny

Complaint to the USPS

I paid $110 for PRIORITY and it took EIGHT DAYS to get my parcel from downtown San Francisco to the San Francisco airport, a distance of 14.8 miles. A turtle could have done that in four days. Seriously, I looked it up. An ordinary box turtle cruises 0.17 mph; it could make it from the Rincon Center post office to the cargo terminal of SFO in 87 hours. The United States Postal Service took 179 hours to make the same trip.

And I had to wait in line at the post office. There is no line at the turtle store. I could have popped in, bought a turtle, strapped the parcel to its shell, and it would have gotten there in less than half the time.

Can I get a refund here? A partial refund? A complementary box of turtle food? Anything?

litre_cola

Balls sent me a package from LA to Calgary that ended up in Sydney, Australia. (I haven’t lived there since 2004)

Viva La Tabula Raza

The turtle probably will take longer than calculated because it will need to stop and rest and maybe take a nap. Of course, so will the USPS worker.

Unsurprised

Speaking of which, where is Porky Prime?

ballsofsteelandfury

I do feel a bit proud that I called it a trap game in my writeup. Didn’t surprise me at all that they lost.

LemonJello

I HAVEN’T SEEN A TRAP GAME CALLED THAT CORRECTLY SINCE VIVA LA TABULA RASA TOLD US ABOUT THAT PORT VISIT IN THAILAND

litre_cola

I would like to open a stripper/rub and tug called Thigh-land. Great fried chicken out back too.

Redshirt

Its not your guy’s fault. NFL and Coronavirus messed with your off days and practices.

At least it happened in the Regular Season.

Gumbygirl

I had a feeling about this one. I really didn’t want to go undefeated and have
the bedshitter show up in the playoffs, so I’m ok with it. And I feel like Alex Smith deserves to be thrown a bone.

Doktor Zymm

First LOL Steelers, and now the Arizona 49rs. 2020, what a year!

LemonJello

I know I’ve said it before, but like Jay Cutler, I don’t care: This MNF booth crew is trying too hard.

Brocky

man sometimes i forget how fucking hateable the steelers fanbase is

litre_cola

Wonder how their subreddit is reacting?

Gumbygirl

Are YOU talking to ME!!!

Fronkenshteen

CLUTCH kicks by Hopkins!

Fronkenshteen

Re: Banner photo. Watch the documentary “Sample This”.

litre_cola

Northern Ontario?

*dock whore FTFY