Your Week 15 First Slate of NFL Games Open Thread

TO THE GAMES!

Bucs/Falcons:

Tampa has these Falcons twice and the Lions as well to close out the season. Expect Brady’s less than stellar deep pass stats to improve markedly by the time the Bucs hit the postseason. Wr Gage is set up to have a good game vs cb Murphy-Bunting who has allowed a 120.1 passer rating when defending wr’s.

Niners/Cowboys:

Over the last 2 weeks Brandon Aiyuk has been WR4 and there’s nothing to be concerned about regarding the Cowboys coverage unit. This is, San Franny may not even have to pass to get up big-Dallas’ run D gives up a league-worst 5 yards per carry to anyone that totes the rock. Rb Pollard continues to eat (heh) into Zeke’s carries as the former couldn’t even be a top 30 back vs Cincy last week.

Lions/Titans:

How’s this for an obvious game script-Henry breaks off a few big runs (on his way to 200 yards), the Titans get up early, Detroit goes to the air allowing Stafford (“preparing to play”) and wr Jones to have big days, fantasy-wise. Seems like a blowout but plenty of points will be scored. Lions with a backdoor cover?

Texans/Colts:

Is T.Y. gonna blow up again? (real good?) He’s seen 40% of the Colts air yards share, the projected game total is high and his ADOT over the last 3 games is a healthy 14.1. The Texans are so bad in coverage that a 3 year vet is getting his second ever start at cb this week.

Pats/Fins:

Bad Bill has had his way vs rook qb’s over the years and he did it again to Herbert-not looking good for Tua on that front. Consider also that his main targets are the likes of Shaheen, Bowden Jr, and DeAndre Washington. Dial up that killer D and try to get some points on the board thru turnovers, Fins.

Bears/Vikes:

Maybe your sneaky play is Darnell Mooney? He’ll be defended by Chris Jones who allows his guy to catch the ball at a rate of 85.7%. That’s, um, generous. Both teams are at 6-7 and still have steadily dwindling prospects of playing in late January. Truth Biscuit’s recent renaissance has been sorta surprising but he’s played vs two of the league’s worst D’s in Detroit and Jacksonville.

Seahawks/Team:

We’ve mentioned before that Wilson’s weakness this year has been in the amount of sacks he’s taken. Team, with defenders Payne, Allen, Sweat and Young are well poised to add to that total. The Seahawks D has recently clamped down on wr’s but is still vulnerable to pass-catching rb’s. That was j.D. McKissic you heard answering roll call.

Jags/Ravens:

Hollywood Brown has been activated off the Covid list and should play and should score. After all, he’s done so in 3 straight and has a 38% target share during that time. The Jags are a mess in the secondary with 4 guys out so Brown might be matched against a fella that has just come off injured reserve. Balls Ahoy!

Come for the English football, stay for the American football.

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King Hippo

I am having PTSD from the Falcons building an insurmountable lead on MRSA Dreamboat.

King Hippo

This has turned into DonT porn.

Don T

I feel comfortable

Doktor Zymm

Ooh, will you offer payday loans AND auto title loans?

litre_cola

He will need a catchy jingle and some real fine print.

Spur
  • Jared Kushner, age 4
Recovery Whiskey

Don’t forget rent to own furniture

Recovery Whiskey

DK back in and playing. No kill tent visit

litre_cola

“Kill tent” is by far the funniest way to describe it.

King Hippo

That LOLfin score will be under review until Tuesday

Recovery Whiskey

Pickerception for Seattle

King Hippo

Monty this seems off-tackle to me

Doktor Zymm

French Toast has one of the best ROIs of any brunch food

Doktor Zymm

A bit of Hennessy in the whipped cream too!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Living your best life

King Hippo

I miss going to breakfast buffets, and eating nothing but bacon and grapefruit. Hippo is a man of contrasts.

Doktor Zymm

Makes sense, the acid from the grapefruit cuts the grease from the bacon

Recovery Whiskey

Once pandemic is vaccine covered breakfast buffet will return with a vengeance

King Hippo

Lookit Bollo, pretending he’s people!

Don T

Thank God that SLAP is legal ??Henry❤️❤️

ArmedandHammered

Zeke would have proud of that slap, even if no one saw it or admits to receiving it.

rockingdog

found a funny:

“pontifex” sounds like the name the pope made up for himself when he was 14 and just getting into online gaming

Recovery Whiskey

DK might have tweaked a hammy

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuuuuuuck

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Hardy Nickerson the old TB LB’s kid?

Spur

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Very surprised those are the Nuggets cheerleaders but happy to have taken a closer look to find out

King Hippo

Titties are being kissed. Truth is being produced in biscuit form.

rockingdog

come on

give it to James Robinson

dude is ROCKING!!!!

litre_cola

That ref looked so confused, dude was out of bounds me thinks.

Spur

Jordan Reed still plays in the NFL, he just thinks its his rookie year and his name is Barbara

Fronkenshteen

Don’t give it to the fullback…

Spur

Send

Stafford to San Fran
Wentz to Indy
Darnold to Panthers

King Hippo

I hear tell he’s suggested the zoo.

King Hippo

Don’t any of y’all listen to soft-core punk??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfrQ8ZutmLE

Don T

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Balls asked about Shannon Tweed last night

herodotus450

I imagine the college football playoff selection discussion was like coming up with a new cartoon character named Poochie.
“Notre Dame good with you guys?”

litre_cola

I fucking hate that commercial so much.

King Hippo

More or less every “holiday” ad makes me want to kill.

ArmedandHammered

Well it is Kia, maybe buy one get one free?

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Spur

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Spur

Mostert is gashing Dallas on every run.

herodotus450

“We took the most middling aspects of Tiki Barber and Peyton Hillis to make…”
You’ve gone too far this time, Mad Scientist Dan Snyder!

Doktor Zymm

Kmet seems like the name of a minor Egyptian bird-headed god

herodotus450

No way he and Pharoh Cooper could coexist on the same team

Spur
Recovery Whiskey

What an actual Hawk shot might look like

1C21B4C0-C3C7-4E4A-BE8E-751A810960F7.jpeg
Doktor Zymm

If I had a fireplace, I would try to buy a bunch of cheap bulkrate shot glasses of teams I didn’t like. Then I would take a shot from one each time their opponents scored or they did something dumb and smash the glass in the fireplace.

litre_cola

That’s just smart.

Recovery Whiskey

Red Zone drinking sounds potentially great

herodotus450

Just move to Baltimore and throw them outside.

Gumbygirl

Philadelphia- throw them at Santa!

Recovery Whiskey

“He had it coming” — City of Brotherly Love

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, Canadians, what is the Crave channel?

litre_cola

Streaming service like Netflix.

King Hippo

But with abominations like poutine and minor league hockey I bet smgdh

Doktor Zymm

It would be great if Canadian companies gave you a free poutine with every purchase

Recovery Whiskey

All I know is it has Letterkenny

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Great, now i have to Google letterkenny

litre_cola

Funniest Canadian show by a mile.

Don T

Corey Davis is FF bench MVP.
/kicks chair, happily

Spur

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Spur

yeah, Zeke is gone.

Doktor Zymm

I look forward to his farewell tour of the dregs of the league

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it really burning the bears in the end zone when they just didn’t cover Thielen?

Recovery Whiskey

The scrappiest guy on the field cannot be covered

Wakezilla

Smashing one of your biggest rivals after they waited 16 years for this whilst scoring 6 goals against them with an academy graduate as man of the match. Oh, and you’re slightly disappointed that your club didn’t score at least 8. A near perfect game

clint greasewood

Lamar throwing TD’s now.

King Hippo

Filibuster THAT, motherfuckers!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If only Jared Lorenzen were alive to see it

herodotus450

Probably doesn’t affect him after hearing “well I wouldn’t’ve drafted the guy” in the offseason.

Doktor Zymm

That’s what happens when you’re drafted by the football team equivalent of an abusive family

King Hippo

How about this Haskins line – 3-3, -3 yards

herodotus450

The Gardner is 0-1 with a sack for a safety.

Fronkenshteen

Not for nothing, but Scotchy is a fucking GENIUS.

Spur

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Don T

Gotta give it to Stafford: those rib pads are slimming.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: “rib pad” is what Andy Reid calls the apartment he rented next to Slap’s BBQ.

Spur
Doktor Zymm

My schedule is all messed up this week. Gonna take a speed shower and change into my favorite pyjamas while missing the minimum Red Zone

Recovery Whiskey

Have to be on a family conf call in 90 minutes; considering how much I want to confirm their judgments about my drinking. (Thinking noises) Hawk shots it is

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What are hawk shots?

litre_cola

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

He looked 40 in his twenties

Recovery Whiskey

Usually jamesons; but santa came early this year

herodotus450

I heard there were internet outages in your area…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought that was hot young singles