Your Week 15 First Slate of NFL Games Open Thread

TO THE GAMES!

Bucs/Falcons:

Tampa has these Falcons twice and the Lions as well to close out the season. Expect Brady’s less than stellar deep pass stats to improve markedly by the time the Bucs hit the postseason. Wr Gage is set up to have a good game vs cb Murphy-Bunting who has allowed a 120.1 passer rating when defending wr’s.

Niners/Cowboys:

Over the last 2 weeks Brandon Aiyuk has been WR4 and there’s nothing to be concerned about regarding the Cowboys coverage unit. This is, San Franny may not even have to pass to get up big-Dallas’ run D gives up a league-worst 5 yards per carry to anyone that totes the rock. Rb Pollard continues to eat (heh) into Zeke’s carries as the former couldn’t even be a top 30 back vs Cincy last week.

Lions/Titans:

How’s this for an obvious game script-Henry breaks off a few big runs (on his way to 200 yards), the Titans get up early, Detroit goes to the air allowing Stafford (“preparing to play”) and wr Jones to have big days, fantasy-wise. Seems like a blowout but plenty of points will be scored. Lions with a backdoor cover?

Texans/Colts:

Is T.Y. gonna blow up again? (real good?) He’s seen 40% of the Colts air yards share, the projected game total is high and his ADOT over the last 3 games is a healthy 14.1. The Texans are so bad in coverage that a 3 year vet is getting his second ever start at cb this week.

Pats/Fins:

Bad Bill has had his way vs rook qb’s over the years and he did it again to Herbert-not looking good for Tua on that front. Consider also that his main targets are the likes of Shaheen, Bowden Jr, and DeAndre Washington. Dial up that killer D and try to get some points on the board thru turnovers, Fins.

Bears/Vikes:

Maybe your sneaky play is Darnell Mooney? He’ll be defended by Chris Jones who allows his guy to catch the ball at a rate of 85.7%. That’s, um, generous. Both teams are at 6-7 and still have steadily dwindling prospects of playing in late January. Truth Biscuit’s recent renaissance has been sorta surprising but he’s played vs two of the league’s worst D’s in Detroit and Jacksonville.

Seahawks/Team:

We’ve mentioned before that Wilson’s weakness this year has been in the amount of sacks he’s taken. Team, with defenders Payne, Allen, Sweat and Young are well poised to add to that total. The Seahawks D has recently clamped down on wr’s but is still vulnerable to pass-catching rb’s. That was j.D. McKissic you heard answering roll call.

Jags/Ravens:

Hollywood Brown has been activated off the Covid list and should play and should score. After all, he’s done so in 3 straight and has a 38% target share during that time. The Jags are a mess in the secondary with 4 guys out so Brown might be matched against a fella that has just come off injured reserve. Balls Ahoy!

Come for the English football, stay for the American football.

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
501 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Gatoraids

Big week for Haacks

rockingdog

holy shit

Falcons are flying

Ridley is tearing it up

is it cause there is No Julio Jones?

blaxabbath

Been just about four years since the last time I saw a DC crowd this small.

Redshirt

What are you talking about? This is the largest attendance of a football game in history! PERIOD!

blaxabbath

Way suck, Snyders.

Redshirt

Alright, UC. You wanted a chance to get some respect – well, here it is. Make it a good one.

2021 Peach Bowl (January) – Wikipedia

blaxabbath

So good news is that only two of us in my office went hot for the rona. The other guy is dealing with new symptoms every day; I’m feeling fine still. Think I’ll retest Monday morning to see if I can get back to life.

Doktor Zymm

Woohoo for mild!

blaxabbath

My wife is agreeing with my mom asking if I’d go get a antibody test to see if I got a false positive. Most cases are mild/no symptoms. And I get ‘Elon Musk…’ but why does everyone think I should be popping off tests at $150 a pop just because “I wonder”.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, it doesn’t really matter if it was a false positive or not. Stick with what’s covered by insurance or whatever.

rockingdog

jAMES ROBINSON

with the RockinGGG TD Catch!

litre_cola

London Jaguradown.

Doktor Zymm
King Hippo

It’s amazing how Duuuuuvvvvaaaallll could find an undrafted RB as good as James Robinson…and still be an absolute dumpster fire.

blaxabbath

Tom Coughlin culture.

Spur

comment image

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Spur

This Shape of Water sequel looks like a cheap cash grab

Redshirt

“Can I have next? – R. Kraft

Spur
Redshirt

ESPN: Clemson and Ohio State both have a 50% chance of winning?

Does Lawrence still have COVID? Is Ohio State being spotted two touchdowns or getting a pinball-like bonus football on offense?

Doktor Zymm

The Dolphins kicker is normally excellent, so I assume he will miss the extra point

Dunstan

Offensive explosion in Miami.

Redshirt

Is it possible to kick a 109-yard Own Field Goal?

King Hippo

Laserface ded??

Doktor Zymm

Is he no longer perfectly coherent?

King Hippo

He said maybe he could understand abortion in a few limited contexts, so into the Kill Tent he goeth.

Spur

comment image

King Hippo

And YES, Atlanta is gonna shit the pitch to MRSA Dreamboat AGAIN

clint greasewood

Time to give for Fox Sports to take Ole Terry to the back of the shed. Maybe let the winner of the Pick’em app be the trigger man.

King Hippo

P*ts and LOLfins just a Very Sad Thing.

JustStopDude

I swear to god I had no idea that the Jags were a one win team until this morning.

But in my defense, like most of the NFL, I generally forget they exist at all.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, with the lack of London games this year I’m amazed they still let the Jaguras play

Doktor Zymm

Niners probably aren’t going to be allowed back in their stadium for the remainder of the season

King Hippo

I think the League should randomly force squadrons to go nomad like that.

Spur

SHHHHHHHHHH Don’t give Dean Spanos any ideas

Doktor Zymm

Which team to Witchita?!

King Hippo

Anyone who finishes 8-8!

Spur

comment image

Spur

Cowboy killed a miner

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, yeah, we’ve probably all seen ‘Deadwood’ by now.

Redshirt

I have to give ESPN credit. They have spent two hours hand-pleasuring the four playoff teams and they don’t show signs of slowing or cramping up.

King Hippo

I mean, it’s a perfect quartet if you prioritize The Narrative and familiarity over quality.

Redshirt

That’s the only reason why Notre Dame is still in the picture. Take away the NBC broadcasting and their history, they would be behind C. Carolina.

Spur

Watching Clemson run a train on OSU is gonna be a great way to start the year.

King Hippo

And Saban will be super annoyed at having let Florida Men (JV) make things fairly close. Angry Saban against ND. Yes, PLEASE!!

Horatio Cornblower

There isn’t a line high enough for me to take ND in that game.

Redshirt

17.5

Yeah, I’ll take ‘Bama on that one.

Horatio Cornblower

In all seriousness I would probably start thinking about a cover at 22.

Game Time Decision

Can I get their number?
-R Kraft

litre_cola

Dwayne Haskins is not very accurate.

Doktor Zymm

Probably smart, no one should ever want to start at QB for Team

Game Time Decision

Need to have flashes of brilliance to be trade bait

Spur

comment image

King Hippo

HAWT ribcage!!!!

Doktor Zymm

Someone make that gal a sandwich

litre_cola

You could play her like a xylophone.

King Hippo

/nods in approval – Karen C.

Recovery Whiskey

Seems malnourished

Redshirt

Okay, I’m back from lunch and running errands. Let’s see what games the Football Gods have blessed me with:

BAL 26 – JAX 0
CHI 20 – MIN 7

I gotta find me some more errands.

litre_cola

Minny game is actually good.

King Hippo

Down 20-7, still playing Hide the Dingleberry

clint greasewood

DEZ IS BACK

Recovery Whiskey

DJ down. Not DK, DJ

hippofant

Uhh, Chark?

King Hippo

Vasco in the lead, WOO!!!!

Doktor Zymm

Florida Men just can’t score today

rockingdog

49ers gotta realize

Aiyuk is ROCKING

gotta get him the ball

Last edited 3 years ago by rockingdog
King Hippo

There is an upside to 100% fantasy death. I am soooooo much MOAR relaxed.

litre_cola

Totally. Have a couple bets down but nothing crazy. Pretty chilled out.

I did bet on Defense and Justice in Argie ball.

Game Time Decision

You tanking then?

King Hippo

You can see my sad consolation bracket lineup against you!

Game Time Decision

Lol same. Trying to start anyone healthy enough

Spur

comment image

King Hippo

Good Christ, if Chi**** were to pip Team MRSA for the 7 seed, we would have the happiest Clubhouse in EVAR

Doktor Zymm

That would be hilarious! I approve

King Hippo

Even better, Team v. Bearistocrats! NFC title match

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now you’re just overpilled

King Hippo

wait until I hit the Tussionex, Imaginary Friend!

Doktor Zymm

TAX PAYER SUBSIDISED MALORT FOR ALL, BIPARTISAN BUDGET APPROVALS FOR NONE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Strawberries for everyone if that happens

Spur

Looking like Brady’s totally legal supplement pills only have a 12 week shelf life

Spur

seriously, good for Dez

Spur

X

Recovery Whiskey

Unironic Touchdown Seahawks

To Hollister the backup TE

Last edited 3 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
King Hippo

Aiyuk rocking, eh dog??

rockingdog

THATS ROCKING!!!!!

litre_cola

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Letting Russel Wilson sprint on FedEx “turf” might actually be a calculated strategy on the part of the Team D

Recovery Whiskey

I’ll allow it

Would be karma payback for 2012 RG III

Last edited 3 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
litre_cola

Safeties everywhere!

Spur
Spur

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In true Raiders fashion, she appears to be primed to trip over her own feet.

Recovery Whiskey

DK looks fully healed

King Hippo

I mean, as long as you don’t fuck Russell’s wife, he likely shares his magic bubbles.

Recovery Whiskey

You know that was only his starter wife.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“NOBODY FUCKS RUSSELL WILSON’S WIFE!” – Russell Wilson’s wife, shaking her head sadly

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Doktor Zymm

They must of given him the good shit

King Hippo

The part of the Bearistocrats! is today being played by the Minnesota Vikings.

Recovery Whiskey

The Football Team’s defense just let the 32 yo Wilson ramble for 38 yards

Spur
King Hippo

the Haim sisters fucking rule