Your Week 15 First Slate of NFL Games Open Thread

TO THE GAMES!

Bucs/Falcons:

Tampa has these Falcons twice and the Lions as well to close out the season. Expect Brady’s less than stellar deep pass stats to improve markedly by the time the Bucs hit the postseason. Wr Gage is set up to have a good game vs cb Murphy-Bunting who has allowed a 120.1 passer rating when defending wr’s.

Niners/Cowboys:

Over the last 2 weeks Brandon Aiyuk has been WR4 and there’s nothing to be concerned about regarding the Cowboys coverage unit. This is, San Franny may not even have to pass to get up big-Dallas’ run D gives up a league-worst 5 yards per carry to anyone that totes the rock. Rb Pollard continues to eat (heh) into Zeke’s carries as the former couldn’t even be a top 30 back vs Cincy last week.

Lions/Titans:

How’s this for an obvious game script-Henry breaks off a few big runs (on his way to 200 yards), the Titans get up early, Detroit goes to the air allowing Stafford (“preparing to play”) and wr Jones to have big days, fantasy-wise. Seems like a blowout but plenty of points will be scored. Lions with a backdoor cover?

Texans/Colts:

Is T.Y. gonna blow up again? (real good?) He’s seen 40% of the Colts air yards share, the projected game total is high and his ADOT over the last 3 games is a healthy 14.1. The Texans are so bad in coverage that a 3 year vet is getting his second ever start at cb this week.

Pats/Fins:

Bad Bill has had his way vs rook qb’s over the years and he did it again to Herbert-not looking good for Tua on that front. Consider also that his main targets are the likes of Shaheen, Bowden Jr, and DeAndre Washington. Dial up that killer D and try to get some points on the board thru turnovers, Fins.

Bears/Vikes:

Maybe your sneaky play is Darnell Mooney? He’ll be defended by Chris Jones who allows his guy to catch the ball at a rate of 85.7%. That’s, um, generous. Both teams are at 6-7 and still have steadily dwindling prospects of playing in late January. Truth Biscuit’s recent renaissance has been sorta surprising but he’s played vs two of the league’s worst D’s in Detroit and Jacksonville.

Seahawks/Team:

We’ve mentioned before that Wilson’s weakness this year has been in the amount of sacks he’s taken. Team, with defenders Payne, Allen, Sweat and Young are well poised to add to that total. The Seahawks D has recently clamped down on wr’s but is still vulnerable to pass-catching rb’s. That was j.D. McKissic you heard answering roll call.

Jags/Ravens:

Hollywood Brown has been activated off the Covid list and should play and should score. After all, he’s done so in 3 straight and has a 38% target share during that time. The Jags are a mess in the secondary with 4 guys out so Brown might be matched against a fella that has just come off injured reserve. Balls Ahoy!

Come for the English football, stay for the American football.

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The Maestro

Salaam alaykum. I’m with the government. We’re here to implement sharia law and forcibly vaccinate everyone. Your wife will leave you and your kids will call me Dad.

Doktor Zymm

Shakira law? Fun!

litre_cola

Spicy!

Gatoraids

What Ben Franklin had in mind

blaxabbath

Dang.

I owe a crazy guy $20.

Recovery Whiskey

This new referee isn’t awesome

hippofant

lol texans

Redshirt

Heh. More like the .438s. Am I right?

Redshirt

Hey! The Vikings have a chance to win this one!

(sees last lackluster play)

Do they know that?

Gatoraids

only tape Grumblelord is grinding this January are MILF ones.

litre_cola

Does he need suggestions?

Redshirt

grumblegrumbleAskYourMothergrumblegrumle

Dunstan

He was really disappointed to discover that “How I Met Your Mother” was not the show he had been hoping for.

Last edited 3 years ago by Dunstan
Redshirt

That was the best four yard gain I’ve ever seen!

Gumbygirl

I’m not mad at this 49ers/Cowboys game. Weird.

Recovery Whiskey

FedEx claims another one

Spur

some friendly fire

Dunstan

You know, “Silence of the Lambs” was a good film and all, but I’m not sure that it really justifies another TV series to go with the various sequel and prequel films.

Redshirt

Yeah. The first movie was nice, but the other ones keep leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Dunstan

Of course, I’m also just bitter because CBS rejected my pitch of a series about a serial killer who murders hobos in Ontario. I worked really hard on cutting-and-pasting… uh, I mean, “creating” that.

Redshirt

We’re getting 4th String QB action in Baltimore!

Redshirt

Maybe the Atlanta Falcons are allergic to Tom Brady.

litre_cola

Atlanta???? Unreal.

Doktor Zymm

Right? You fuck off ONE Super Bowl and then you’re doomed to repeat it forever

Dunstan

Dolphins making a solid effort to check off the “lose the game without giving up a touchdown” achievement.

Recovery Whiskey

Charmception

Doktor Zymm

It’s amazing that TY Hilton does as well as he does when Holiday Inn Express is an IHG property

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Gumbygirl

Russell Wilson, slingin’ the charm!

Doktor Zymm

Ok, I laughed WAY too much at this!

Redshirt

#12 Coastal Carolina plays Liberty in the Cure Bowl. Yeah, that’s fair.

herodotus450

More like Coastal Fraudulina if you ask me; they deserve that bowl.

Gatoraids

Yeah one year you think they woudlt care as much of having a large fanbase to travel and attend the bowl

Redshirt

Agreed. That alone would explain why Ohio State still got the best available bowls in the 90s when Cooper coached them.

Gumbygirl

Brees’ ribcage is going to crumble like a stale girl scout cookie.

herodotus450

They get stale?

Redshirt

They can last enough to get stale?

Spur

No way. The Refs are going protect Brees. The NFL has a big audience for this game.

Gatoraids

He’s ready

dcompose1.jpg
Redshirt

Oh, good. I get to see Drew Brees die on the field.

Spur
Recovery Whiskey

The result of having upper echelon corporates as inlaws is they sign you up for dumb crap you would never pay for yourself but got to see up close. And now that’s over with. Go Hawks.

litre_cola

Did you synergize? Or did you leave that in the parking lot so we could touch base later?

Recovery Whiskey

I drank off camera and let my wifi “drop” for no reason

Doktor Zymm

Put a pin in it and we’ll circle back offline *gag*

Spur

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Redshirt

B-More OT picked up a lose ball and ran 20 yards. He’s ran himself to death doing it of course, but still good hustle!

Doktor Zymm

Hey, they got even MORE oxygen on the sidelines this year, he’ll be fine

clint greasewood

Falcons really want to blow this.

litre_cola

Like Houston walking in to the 500.

Last edited 3 years ago by litre_cola
Recovery Whiskey

Falcons blow a big lead? Inconceivable

Recovery Whiskey

Concern over sobriety around the family, in retrospect, seems like much ado about nothing

Redshirt

One side of my family hides their drinking habits. The other side gameplans it.

litre_cola

Inlaws love the booze. Is always a treat visiting as they keep wee man occupied and BC Dick and I get bombed as Dad in law like to impress me with wines.

King Hippo

Reminder to self – oh yeah, Darkest Timeline

JustStopDude

What the fuck was that?

Recovery Whiskey

My SIL signed us all up to play some sort of online game and the elderly inlaws can’t figure out how to hover the room to open the key and I’m just playing along watching this train wreck with the game on in the background.

Doktor Zymm

comment image?fit=3000%2C2000

Gumbygirl

The redhead just farted, and is hoping Santa didn’t notice her naughtiness.

King Hippo

THAT’S SANTA’S FETISH!

Spur

So Santa and Mrs. Claus have an understanding.

Gatoraids

Mrs Claus is in another room with 9 guys hooked up to the sleigh whipping them

Redshirt

He does know who’s naughty, if you know what I mean.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why is Keanu Reeves doing video game commercials?

hippofant

CYBERPUNK 2077 IS GOING TO BE THE BEST VIDEO GAME UNTIL 2077!!!!!!1

hippofant
Doktor Zymm

*Unless you’re epileptic

hippofant
Last edited 3 years ago by hippofant
BugEyedBoo

Stuff I’ve been reading is that Cyberpunk 2077 is flat-out garbage on a PS4/XBox One. It plays, albeit a buggy, on a PS5 or a PC. I’ve had one crash, and a couple of weird gameplay bugs that required restarts. But I expected that sine I bought it the day it came out.

hippofant

As a gamer myself, I must admit that most gamers are just brain-dead idiots. We should have stopped with NetHack.

clint greasewood

I believe after Johnny Mnemonic flopped, Keanu is looking to redeem himself in the Cyperpunk category.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwl5MBzTCRQ
NNY MNEMONIC

Doktor Zymm

That was an astoundingly bad movie

Doktor Zymm

Tic tacs?

BugEyedBoo

Not much of a spoiler – you get possessed by Keanu Reeves. Gamewise, just play Witcher 3 if you haven’t played it yet. Better plot, and all the bugs have been fixed.

Last edited 3 years ago by BugEyedBoo
clint greasewood

Trailer Park Kitties really want to secure the 2nd overall pick but I don’t think Justin Fields is going to be the answer.

Redshirt

Andy Dalton is earning every cent he’ll be overpaid next year.

blaxabbath

Double J doesn’t overpay….

White guys anyways.

Spur
Spur

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Spur

so a “sneak peak”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does she know that?

Spur

Lamb bomb sets up Dallas TD.

Redshirt

#7 Florida (8-3)
#8 Cincinnati (9-0)

#10 Iowa State (8-3) NY6 Bowl Bound
#11 Indiana (6-1)
#12 Coastal Carolina (11-0)

2020 has somehow made people miss the BCS.

JustStopDude

Someone needs to explain to me why the Jaguars haven’t been throwing it every down because the Ravens secondary cant stop shit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As someone who stupidly started Minshew, i agree

Redshirt

Jaguars’ QB may have something to do with it.

Redshirt

Jaguars’ QB has something to do with it.

King Hippo

You’d think NE/MIA must be playing in a monsoon, but no.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a monsoon of the soul

Spur

what’s up with Bears?

Doktor Zymm

This is the Yang part of the 8-8 Yin/Yang

King Hippo

They always revert to 8-8 form

Spur

They’re going to save the coaches job. They really need to stop caring.

herodotus450

Another Hunter! Punting for the Cowboys! Put him with the others!

Redshirt

Week 5
Dwayne Haskins: “Why was I benched? I don’t understand.”

Week 15
Dwayne Haskins: “Ah, now I get it.”

King Hippo

DEEP HIPPO THOUGHTS – What if Romeo Crennell got all skinny like John Goodman did?

Dunstan

What if Andy Reid did? The loss to DFO would be devastating.

blaxabbath

I’ve seen two Dwayne Haskins throws.

I feel qualified in saying he’s a bust.

King Hippo

MRSA Dreamboat has SEVEN POINTS against a bottom-5 pass D, and still getting a ball washing

Dunstan

Because he looked so leaderly in scoring those seven points!

Doktor Zymm

Hawt take: Ineligible receiver penalties are BS, as is the entire concept of an ineligible receiver. Let anyone catch that shit if they can.

Redshirt

Counter proposal: If an Ineligible Receiver does catch a pass, he and a wide receiver on the field must switch places for the rest of the drive and the wide receiver cannot use this rule to become eligible again.

Doktor Zymm

I like it! Although how would that work when it’s the punt unit out, so no traditional WR?

Redshirt

Jersey Numbers: 1-49, 80-89 Eligible. 50-79, 90-99 Ineligible.

Doktor Zymm

Addition – they have to swap jerseys as well

hippofant

Wouldn’t teams just got 10 WRs?

Dunstan

“Then I’ll blitz 11 guys!” — Gregg W., Unemployment Line

Doktor Zymm

You still need people who are good at other things on the field, it’s not all that easy to game plan something reliable. Or, compromise, just have it that way for special teams plays, cause invalidating trick plays just sucks

blaxabbath

Compromise: everyone become eligible ONCE THEY MAKE IT 20 YARDS DOWNFIELD.

If Belichik is able to get some 350 pound linemen beyond the sticks, you don’t get to complain that he’s exploiting a rule.

Redshirt

The Refs at BAL-WSH messed up measuring for a first down. That’s a new one.

Doktor Zymm

Dirtying up the Ball Wash

King Hippo

ESPN hyping 50/50!!, and it opens Tiggers -7

litre_cola
rockingdog

also that Camera

Fox is using for the hawks games

is ROCKINGGGG

Redshirt

Why is Lamar Jackson still in this game? Are they trying to impress the pollsters?

hippofant

I assume because they don’t want to put in their… 4th stringer?