Your Very Own Christmas Day NFL Football Open Thread (brought to you by the fine folks in northern Ontario)

So much welcomes! Many happys! From the grey skies of Thunder Bay all the way to the salted backroads outside Sudbury proper, I wish youse alls the merriest of merrys from northern Ontario. May the trees hewn over here provide you with the most comfy of Adirondack chairs over there. We willingly give our hockey players the gift of forever ice so that they may entertain up to several hundreds of people all over North America and beyond. And we do this expecting no thanks whatsoever aside from occasionally having our drive-thru coffee anonymously paid for by someone ahead of us in the line. It’s a simple life for simple people and we embrace our roles. May the spirit of The Hoser fill you with a slightly warmish feeling not unlike the onset of a fever.

TO THE GAME!

Vikes/Saints:

-Happenstance has dictated that these two have played each other five times in the last four years. As a result hearts have been broken on both sides. Will we see more of the same today? Unlikely!

-Both squadoos have lost two straight but only the Saints could afford it. By blowing it last week vs the Bears, the Vikes making the playoffs are as unlikely as the Bosa brothers embracing the Biden administration. With a W New Orleans wins the NFC South for the fourth year in a row.

-Brees had a tough go of it last week in his return, throwing at a 44.1% rate. His game is predicated on short, quick throws and it was obvious that his timing was off and that he missed Mike Thomas metaphorically and several wr’s literally.

-If you have Kirkie as your qb you may want to look elsewhere given that his average fantasy points at home sits at 24.8 and on the road he crumples with a 13.3 mark.

-Minny has quietly improved its passing D to the point that they haven’t allowed a passer 300 yards since week 6. Problem is, they dug themselves too big a hole at the beginning of the season. “Dig UP, stupid!”

-With Tre’Quan Smith sent to IR, maybe take a peek at Lil’Jordan Humphrey. He’s a 2nd year guy that runs about 70% out of the slot at 6’4″, 225 and caught himself a TD last week. Oh, and the Vikes give up the 2nd most TD’s to fellas that run out of that spot.

-How dominant is Kamara as a pass-catching rb? Despite having 5 games where he grabbed three or less passes he leads the 2nd-place rb by more than 250 yards.

Have a mulled wine and send me the bill.

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King Hippo

Kamara Engine Roars Ominously

King Hippo

I mean, that’s what you get for using your timeouts defensively when all hope has been lost

Redshirt

For those of your questioning the logic of the Vikings’ playcalling, they are 6-8 for a reason.

King Hippo

Really, that is FIVE throws from the 1, FOUR incompletions and a 2-footer with very generous spot.

Senor Weaselo

And Dalvin Cook is right there!

King Hippo

No clue how first 3 quarters went, but is a wretched game plan if he ain’t carry it 30-40 times.

Senor Weaselo

15.

King Hippo

Three incompletions and a ded clock timeout (from the 1)? Peak Dingleberry!

King Hippo

“Fit it right in that hole” – Troy PHRASING

JustStopDude

Oh crap…I fell asleep in like the first quarter and just woke up.

Well my sleep schedule is fucked to hell…

Redshirt

That was my first night back from COVID-grounding.

“Jeez, Redshirt. You look terrible. Is that COVID?”
“No, its one hour of sleep with two sleeping pills. And that total’s not consecutive..”

litre_cola

Decilitre fell asleep at 4. we are in for an earlier morning than normal.

Redshirt

Oh, quit trying to defend Sean Payton. He’s ahead by eight points! You give him four runs and tell your defense, “If he can’t get six, you guys get us two!”

King Hippo

this is reminiscent of that one Bananacakes Joe Addai monster game, many Humps moons ago. I did have Addai that day, team went over 200.

Brocky

not tie a 60 year old record down!
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Redshirt

Question: If you a Saint not named Alvin Kamera, and you have a clear shot at the endzone, do you score or you take a dive at the 1 so Kamara can get the record?

Brocky

i usually disapprove of records by way of running the score up,

see brady and the 2007 team for reference

Redshirt

A one score game isn’t really running up the score, its just clinching the game. Plus, you can easily snap the ball to nobody on the conversion and concede the two points to the defense.

Redshirt

…or retreat to my own endzone on the conversion and see if that’s a two point safety, a one point safety, or something else.

King Hippo

Payton is 100% going play action here. Twist that knife.

King Hippo

A Very Special Dingleberry Xmas

litre_cola

I have Minny ML, sorry Yeah Right. I am sure DJ Taz won’t have anything to say about this….. at least you aren’t next to him to hear him chirp you.

King Hippo

My migraine nap likely spared me of this fate.

rockingdog

And a partridge in a pear tree
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Redshirt

If you started Alvin Kamara, congratulations on your Fantasy Football victory,

If you didn’t start him or are playing someone starting him, 2020 will be over in less than seven days.

Brocky

I declined to draft Kamara first overall, going instead with CMC instead.

if him scoring this many fantasy Points on championship weekend isn’t a sign that god hates me, i don’t know what does

Brocky

to be clear I’m not playing against kamara, and I’m still projected to win my fantasy championship by a hair, but still

rockingdog

LOL holy shit

Make that 5TD’s

KAMARA is ROCKINGGGGG!!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Fuuuuck. How many FF points is that?

Brocky

hes up to 49.3 in my league

King Hippo

NeighboUrs status? Run the fuck over!

Brocky

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King Hippo

I would TOTES buy that shirt. And I do wonder if anyone coined that phrase before DFO (did it premiere on Hippo Thoughts? honestly can’t remember)

yeah right

I think I can lay ownership. You then replied with “He ran over ALL his neighbors.”

clint greasewood

O/U was 50. We are at 51

rockingdog

Kamara is ROCKING!!!

4th TD for the day.

ballsofsteelandfury

I feel really bad for the guy in the Championship game that’s facing the guy with Kamara.

Senor Weaselo

I would guess that’s you in one league?

ballsofsteelandfury

Naw, never made it to any championship. Best I did is the third place game in the Gratuitous Simpsons League.

ballsofsteelandfury

But it is happening in two of my leagues to someone else…

Brocky

thinking of you hippo comment image

Mr. Ayo

I’d unwrap that present.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Dang, them legs look like they came off a Steinway.

King Hippo

Just woke from my mammoth migraine nap. Huzzah Q4!

rockingdog

2 Turtledoves
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blaxabbath

Mayfield or Tanny for the FF Championship?

ballsofsteelandfury

Tanny

blaxabbath

He is the horse I rode in on.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Brocky

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Horatio Cornblower

Anyone else getting a ‘Silence of the Lambs’ vibe from this one?

ArmedandHammered

I was thinking more like kill you and search your medicine cabinet for opiods, someone make sure Hippo is warned.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hippo is already in love with those shoulders.

yeah right

I’ve recorded the game and haven’t started watching yet so forgive me for not scrolling down.

I just got off of a Zoom call where I got to talk with both of my girls and all 3 of the granddaughters, there is a chicken pot pie filling the house with aromas and warmth and my heart is filled to near bursting.

I love all of you good people so much.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Gumbygirl

Don’t tell the other guys, but you are my favorite!

clint greasewood

O/U is 50 we are at 38 at half time and unless Brees throws the ball directly at a Viking defender they aren’t stoping anything.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, hope no one here bet the under.

ballsofsteelandfury

Wow. There really is no defense in this game.

rockingdog

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Dunstan

What? What?

Oh, chicken butt.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I spent years coaching my son’s baseball teams. Part of what I did was throw batting practice, and I was really good at it. I could throw to the whole team for an hour and then come back and do it again the next day. The result, of course, is that my arm is now so shot that I cant throw an apple core across the yard without my shoulder and elbow threatening to fall off.

I mention this spontaneously, and not at all related to that near interception Brees just underthrew.

rockingdog

4 Calling Birds
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Last edited 3 years ago by rockingdog
ArmedandHammered

I always imagined the Partridge in the pear tree looking more like Shirley Jones.

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Why did you change it?

JimU

With today’s game, we’ve had games on every day of the week this season. Unless this happened in the Jurassic age of NFL football, this has to be the first time this has happened.

Senor Weaselo

ETERNAL NIGHT FOOTBALL, new for 2021.

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GAME, I CALL IT A HILLBILLY FAMILY REUNION, BECAUSE COUSINS JUST WENT DOWN!

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Xmas power nap in my own house, waking up to my wife asking if it’s OK if we just have apple pie for dinner?

Way to make a late comeback, 2020!

blaxabbath

THIS HORATIO CORNBLOWER, I CALL HIM DESEAN JACKSON BECAUSE HE’S PRONE TO CELEBRATING TOO EARLY, IS A DFO FAVORITE, AND CHIP KELLY HAS NO IDEA HOW TO UTILIZE THE GUY!

Last edited 3 years ago by blaxabbath
Senor Weaselo

Not enough Cook-downs. Somewhere in the neighborhood of infinite.

WCS

Happy Easter, yinz.

I am so fucking full.

Don T

Gross ingredients that improve the whole:
-Fish sauce
-Cream of coconut
-Drug-dealing cousin

yeah right

Pork that was fed by Wu has to be a close second.

Don T

Woohoo pickerception!

rockingdog

sudden change
Drew Brees throws a Pick

Not rockin

Beerguyrob

Merry Christmas to one and all.

XOXO,

Beerguyrob, from my recliner!

Don T

Homemade piña colada and a game. Prettay, prettay, prettay good for Covid Xmas.
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Gumbygirl

Did Santa bring you something cool?

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The Maestro

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

Dunstan

Hey, I scrubbed my crotch extra clean today!

rockingdog

found a funny:

me: why are you wearing a scarf?

frosty: to keep me warm

me: that doesn’t make any sense

frosty: buddy none of this does

Game Time Decision

Merry Christmas all you filthy animals. And Friday fitbawl, wòoooooooooooooo

Gumbygirl

Merry Christmas Scotchy!

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ballsofsteelandfury

I guess the run defenses woke up late on Christmas Day.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think they still haven’t woken up.

ballsofsteelandfury

Looks like DJ Taj is going to have San Pedro bragging rights this year!

JustStopDude

Wow…nice defense on that TD run…

ballsofsteelandfury

Ah, the old Blue Bayou defense…

JustStopDude

I guess Erin Andrews got the vaccine right away as she went no face mask on the sideline report.

clint greasewood

Happy Holidays you lads.