For a big game it doesn’t get much smaller than this. But hey, if a 3-7 Mississippi State football team can play in a bowl game then why can’t a desperately underachieving NFC East squadoo sully the good name of “the NFL Playoffs”? I see no reason, your case is dismissed and court is adjourned. [thinks to self, “That oughta please all those lawyer types out there.”]
TO THE GAME!
Team/Eagles:
-If Team had even slightly below-average qb play this year they wouldn’t be in this mess.
-I guess Alex Smith being able to start can be construed as good news although his PFF passer rating comes in at 31st among 38 qualifying tossers. Still, better than a bottle of Taylor Heinicke, right?
-A league-leading 67% of Smith’s passes are thrown short of the 1st down marker. I mean, I hate to pile on but Jeezuz that’s lousy. “He ain’t take any chances at all!”
-Hurts’ rushing attempts have decreased from 18 to 11 to 9 in the last three weeks but you’d think he’s have to reverse that trend if the Eagles plan on winning.
-Overall, an effective run game is needed to effectively sell play-action against Team’s nasty, pressurizing D.
-Missing in action for Philly is Cox, Sanders, Goedert, Barnett and Mailata. For Washington, Gibson and McLaurin are questionable.
-The absence of Mailata is a big one for the Eagles. It would seem that as a left guard he’ll be replaced by first-time starter Brent Toth. He’ll be facing-you guessed it-Chase Young all game long.
-Go Eagles! (just this one time and nevermind if the Giants blew it earlier today)
Praise be unto you all. Or something like that.
Been a great year for medicine in the NFL.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYLr9FtYtME
Nice Punt
Nate Sudfield. Take a bow.
TAKE A TIMEOUT AMONG OTHER THINGS!!!!!!
Cris Collinsworth is the same age as me. Most memorable thing about him to me was his fumble in the SB that basically turned the momentum and SF ended up winning. Otherwise I didn’t have any particular ill will towards him.
I guess having to listen to him for three hours every week during NFL season is what has made me loathe him.
I actually remember a time when Al and Cris were the best announcing team. That may say more about how lousy the other options were, but I think they’ve gotten worse. Al just phones it in these days, and Cris is more interested in slobbering over Brady or whichever other star is playing than actually saying anything new.
“SUDFELD!!! GET IN THERE AND NAIL DOWN OUR DRAFT POSITION!!!”
Couldn’t be more accurate.
This is the most shameful display of coaching and integrity since Doug Pederson was actually trying.
Sudfield?
Lord have mercy.
Giants Fans are you ready for Sudfield time???
Eli’s ducky likes Suds!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh85R-S-dh8
LOL
http://britneyspears.ac/lasers.htm
Need 11 yards from Cherry Terry McLaurin, also a pseudonym for a exotic dancer on the West Texas tour.
What are you doing Holly Hunter?
“Gettin’ paid, dummy”
falling to that old hollywood trap of sexism were you’re too old to play a love interest or too young to be a grandma
At age 62, Holly Hunter is not too young to be a grandma.
Hollywood grandmas have to look 80
“I love analytics, but sometimes you just have to make the shittier decision because I think I can predict the future”
Balls agrees with the first four syllables.
WE JUST LOST TANYA ROBERTS.
Not COVID but some other kind of health issue. Only 65.
She is survived by Mr. Slithers
?v=1571266586
What’s the over-under on how many hack writers say some version of “we lost an Angel, but heaven has gained one”?
Dammit. We need Hippo to wake up to the glorious tie he missed out on.
nods awake
nods right back
What a terrible call.
Giants fans would be losing their shit during that play. Brutal.
Can Confirm. Mrs. was not pleased.
gahhh
should have taken the 3 points
NOT ROCKIN
Shoulda let him run it in
Down by contact?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJBde7b41xI&list=PL1i2TnUDF6FABPARbfcTSW6Z2TsAE9SAz&index=14
I’m so sorry about the swastika on this link. That’s not what the screenshot showed on YouTube. It’s a sketch by Mike Francesa and Chris Russo impersonators and it’s really funny, and that’s why I put it here. If I knew it would post with a swastika, I wouldn’t have, I assure you. Jesus, I’m sorry.
We’re pretty sure you’re not a Nazi, don’t worry about it!
I had it as 50/50.
(j/k more like 45/55)
ROCKIN
AARON RODGERS’ FAMILY VOTES: 45
If Philly can pull this out, that means the Giants will have another chance to shit all over Brady in the post-season.
True, but not quite the same in the Wild Card round
Never thought of it that way.
Only if they announce Eli’s activation on Monday.
UM I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN NOW.
The Giants are down late.
The theme from ‘Sesame Street’ blasts through the stadium.
Jim Nantz: “My god! That’s Eli’s music!”
Everyone knows it would be Barney.
Jesus, wouldn’t that be a treat!
that would be
ROCKING
My uncle in Philly can vouch how pulling out doesn’t always work
I love Cris talking about distractions and how young players effectively have too much money.
Like he wasn’t doing blow and hookers with the Bengals.
The hookers gave his money back just to shut him up.
That’s why he was so good on the outside. He knew his way around a white line.
This game has basically shit its pants in the 2nd half.
The first half was a worrisome tummy rumble, so it’s not unexpected
There’s Snoop, I need to roll a doob.
Got back in time for the second half! Not a car on the road going up, bumper to bumper on the way down. Good riddance, diseased tourists!
I HATED the Sunday afternoon drive home from the grandparents’ place. Similar to a Sunday drive home from Vegas.
The Cajon Pass makes me crazy, any time, any day.
Is that where you cut through the mountains from Vegas to LA? I’ve made that drive three times, never knew that was it.
Yeah, pass Barstow and Victorville and you hit that hell.
And you’re probably hungover.
Yes. Very yes
Neither did the Donners.
Well Gase I hear Bama needs a new OC prolly pay more than the Jets anyways
If nothing else, Gase is more sober than the last Tide OC.
I’d drink too if my phone rang 24/7 with Nick Saban asking me if I saw his newest Aflac commercial
“Sure did Boss… you’re right they should fire that dumb duck!”
So now Lexus expects me to purchase a fucking luxury car for my immigrant kids?!?
It can be a used fucking luxury car?
*certified pre-owned
The car or the immigrant kids?
porque no los dos?
Yes.
Immigrant kids make the best car wash workers.
#FiveFingerDiscount
“No, only if you love your children.” — Lexus
Welp. I can’t muster enough interest to keep watching this. Later, Taters!
Schefter tweeted next weekend’s schedule. Sunday night closes the proceedings with Browns at Pitt. The two days are gonna be good (except Sat nights Bucs-Abortion game)
Bonus is that if I pass out, it will be during the two least appealing matchups (CLE barely beat PIT today, at home and with PIT not trying).
Haven’t seen point spreads yet, but could/should the Bucs be the biggest favorite? Or Pitt or NO?
Bucs probably
It will be Team MRSA, probably should be NO (if Bitchin’ Kamara comes off #NuAIDS list).
I saw Tits are +3
That’s an absolutely fascinating game, but I fear for the Tits.
The Total Recall spread
Never regretted trusting Tits before, so why stop now.
Oh unwanted fetus. When will you NOT be the underdog?
Come on Eagles. Give us the 6-10 playoff team
found a funny:
she said i have to learn to take her bra off myself please we’ve been here for 6 hours my fingers are bleeding someone help me
LOL
R giants really gonna do this?
“Fresh Prince of Bel Air” music? But the whole premise of the show is Will Smith left Philly and his life got instantly better. That’s like playing “God Save the King” on the 4th of July.
One step closer to a Tie!
TIE OR DYE
Easy there, Mr. Hutchence
Dang, McCaffery, are they paying you by the decibel?
Alex Smith retires at halftime?
Bring on Heinikin! Meinike? Manniken?
Hanukkah Harry?
Mankini.
Washington Post: Democracy dies in darkness, but not without a subscription of course.
Hey, gotta pay that electrics bill, keep the lights on
Democracy Dies In Darkess is the Bezos Post’s motivation, not a warning.
The editorial board opposed $2,000 checks/supports McConnell. Last night everyone at the paper got $2,021 bonuses. Fuck everyone at that shit rag.
Where the fuck are we supposed to get our news from now? Reuters?
OAN and Newsmax.
After a month, my frown muscles would get such a workout, I’d look like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.
Get back to packing, Mr. President.
I would sooner.
Cave paintings. Men’s room stall walls. Trucker hats.
But, honestly, the only good paper is the Financial Times.
Hall & Oates bumper music this time. Smooth, yet white.
Like Miracle Whip on Wonder Bread…
Holy shit, Gase is only 42.
So we get to hear about him as a retread coach for another 30 years? Fantastic.
Not cool, man. They don’t like to be compared to that idiot.
Oh, RETREAD. Sorry, carry on.
You guys talkin about that Doctor show?
I’m going to hell for all nine lives for how often I’ve made fun of that show.
“Well, what else are we supposed to do? Give a chance to a non-white coach?” — NFL Owners
He’ll have a chance to destroy at least two other franchises.
Oooh, I know which ones I hope they are!
CFL franchises?
I sure as hell hope not.
And the eyeballs of a jellyfish.
He has that Stephen Miller disease. What’s it called? Pure Evil.
GRADUAL CHANGE
Alex Smith can’t wait to check down his way back into this game.
“Wait’ll they see my NEXT two yard out to Logan Thomas.”
I need 1 more catch from McKissic and 1 more from McLaurin to win a parlay. Let it be so!
My earlier parlay busted.
But my BIL bookie forgot to place the bet.
Well, there’s the problem, Curl is only supposed to cover Curl routes.
Hurts is cromulent when he has time. Maybe this can be a game after all.
If JJAW is actually catching balls this is bizarro world.
That’s pretty much every QB. You guarantee a QB five second to go through his progressions without having to worry about the pass rush, you’ll get a Pro Bowl season out of him.
Andy Reid is aghast at the suggestion that there could possibly be such a thing as “too many cooks”.
How dare NBC besmirch the good name of the French Chef theme with the dumpster fire that is the NFC East
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrGrOK8oZG8
This song makes me miss VontazeMeBro.
No Mummer’s parade this year, so slightly less socially acceptable to wear fancy costumes while getting piss drunk on New Year’s Day
I thought horrible white people did their own or something?
Aren’t the horribles descending upon DC in a few days?
Jan 6 the Sheep get sheared and milked for more money
If they get to shoot a rando libtard, it’ll be worth it to them.
Yes, Wednesday would be a good day to airdrop tons of elephant shit onto Pennsylvania Avenue. (Or wherever they are fuck you I’m not some Delmarva loser)
You mean the DMV, Delaware isn’t involved afaik
Sure, but I have no idea about any of this, similar to most comments I make here.
Strict “no firearms” laws there, too. The D.C. police response to this ANNOUNCED, EXPECTED menace will be the ultimate referendum on the state of policing in the United States. If they refuse to stand up to, engage, and imprison these terrorists, then yes, all law enforcement (and their Union) in the United States should be dissolved, reimagined, and reconstructed in a far more noble and righteous iteration. And I ain’t hardly fuckin’ around.
“When you really want your favorite beer there’s a Budlight there” sounds like one of those Chinese proverb/curses like “May you live in interesting times”