Didn’t these squadoos just partake of one another a week ago? Anyway, should you wish to know just how badly Cleveland is screwed going into this tilt, read below.
TO THE GAME!
Browns/Steelers:
-I still can’t wrap the old bean around the fact that Cleveland is 11-5 and not 8-8 or so and barely scraping into this game. Well, the last part is correct, but still.
-Coach Stefanski is down and out so Alex Van Pelt will get the play-calling duties. This actually could turn into an advantage if the guy isn’t way in over his head. He should have slightly different tendencies than the boss. The honor of prowling the sidelines goes to some special teams co-ordinator fella by the name of Priefer. What does I know about him? He hates headphones and he coached a game for the Vikes back in 2016 when Zimmer had emergency surgery.
-Ben’s short passing game should be enough to get by this week but doesn’t bode well for next round. If he has toss longer throws beyond 10 yards he’s just as effective as the likes of Lock and Minshew. Ewww.
-Ordinarily the Steelers d-line would tear the opposing unit to shreds with blitz packages and such but this Browns o-line is among the very best in the league, equally adept at both run and pass blocking.
-They will be missing Pro Bowler Joel Bitonio as well as their best cb, their 2nd-best cb and possibly their 3rd-best cb. Also not playing is their 2nd-best pass rusher. “Hey Browns, congrats on making the playoffs, now just attach these 10 pound dumbbells to each of your ankles and away you go!. GOOD LUCK!”
-If there is prayer for Cleveland it would appear to lie in the run game. If they can control time of possession and field position (as the Colts did yesterday) they can make this their game.
-It would actually be better for the league if the deeply-flawed Steelers would go down tonight instead of next week. That way a national audience could see a Browns team that isn’t missing a huge number of its moving parts.
Say hello below.
Could we see a Mason Rudolph appearance?
Mrs. Gumby seems grounded enough to survive this. Balls-y will pretend not to care.
Can somebody please check on poor WCS??
What about that other guy? The crazy one.
oh, I’m sure he’s with Q-anon by now.
I’ll check the FBI inmate search
This makes living through 2020 worth it.
Yes, Yes, please let this be happening
HARF HARF HARF!
I haven’t seen steelers get fucked this hard since the last Village People tour
Did Stefanski’s Mom send those pics from her Shutterfly account?
Seems like the Browns will be tired on offense now, so playing right into the Tomlin rope-a-dope.
UnpopUlar TAEK – Lily’s AT&T co-worker is significantly hotter.
There’s only one way to settle this, and it involves jello and a wrestling ring.
“Burble!?!”
You could earn a PhD writing a thesis about that AT&T commercial.
I need further evidence. Find her Insta and report back with evidence.
Beat these fucks by a hundred. Beat them until they’re not breathing.
*scribbles game over in notebook*
Time to drink!
oh, you’re only like 7.5 hours late, young man!
I was referring to the Emergen-C.
The vodka has been flowing since noon.
And here I was hoping to see Mayfield get run over. Thanks, Piss-blerg. You fucknuts.
Hey, can I Venmo you that dough? I’m old and confused, and rely upon my sainted wife to get my financial errands done.
What is your username in the Slack?
I am not on Slack. Should I get on there? Let me ask the wife if she’s on there. I’m so sorry for the delay. I’m an alcoholic dumbass. I just want to get you your winnings. Jesus I suck.
How about Twitter?
i can pay you on that? What do I do? Open an account? My wife asked if you were on PayPal or Zell?
We cannot transfer any funds on Twitter, but I can talk more freely out of the realm of putting personal info out for everyone to see
My email is [email protected]. Send me yr deets. Congratulations on your triumph in this most difficult season.
Sent you something. Check your junk, male.
My handle
Come on Browns please dont stop scoring.
This game isn’t safe until it’s 45-0. Maybe more.
This is just…and it’s Pitt at home!
Chubb softened ’em up for the KHunt finish!
Again, normally Ben’s department.
Goddamn my cable feed is SO far behind
Big hole here for Chubb!
/Al just gets us, man
CHUBBERNUTS!!
Chubb penetrating a weak defense is normally Roethlisberger’s specialty.
I actually really like the Tag Team Scoop There It Is commercial, but I have no idea what it’s selling
Their souls.
Judging by sight, being able to eat the on-scene iced cream should suffice
Boy, it takes a long fucking time to log on to this goddamn website lately. Is anyone on that?
Soon as Internet Dad gets back from the store. Something about going out to get a pack of smokes…
Like using limewire!
Are we sure that Notre Dame isn’t playing in place of the Steelers?
No, they only fold against good teams. Or high winds.
Some are saying Barstool went overboard by rigging the NVP award for Mitch…. I say what do you expect their readers to do since they found out they are now on the No Fly list
The Yinzer crowd is all stunned silence
Confluence. Drink?
As long as it’s afire.
No, that’s the Cuyahoga in Cleveland. Pittsburgh’s rivers aren’t flammable.
Yet! Trump’s EPA.
Cleveland succeeding twice in a row?
for years i erroneously assumed the city was connected to the former president. it wasn’t until the tourism video i learned otherwise
The Browns’ success tonight is proof that [DFO] can and should collectively head coach an NFL team.
We’ve replaced the Steelers with the Steelers, let’s see if anyone notices!
Is this all building to a really heart breaking end to #thePauls season?
Of course not. What would make you think that?
History.
Let us pray!
#BelieveLand
The last time #ThePauls won a road playoff fixture? Hippo was -4.
Hippo expressing his age as a betting line is very on brand.
hey, it was the last time I was the favoUrite
Dont need no stinking coaches!
I think the Simpsons just had an episode where homer had an affair. I wasn’t really paying much attention
Which one was it the one with Lena Dunham?
Goddamn, this rules.
HOLY CATS, Y’ALL
Ben thinks this game is also on Nick, and he’s trying to teach kids that it’s good to share the ball with the other team.
HARF, The Ben loves to show bathroom ladies his balls
HARF, now bring me choc taco
I see Ben has developed a liking for black women.
Roethliception!
Browns?
HARFCEPTION!
I just want to say, it’s really weird that it’s only 3:22 pm right now
On what alternate plane of the multiverse have you established your secret lair?
Big Island living?
Hawai’i!
Rapey Ben with the Peyton XLIII start.
Fuck me.
SHHHH….THE BEN can hear you.
Don’t worry, he doesn’t like it when they ask for it.
I’m too old for him. He likes them young and drunk. I’m old and high.
Is that an invitation? I was on a better submarine.
Better than the USS Thomas Jefferson SSN 618 “Hostility Against Tyranny?” I think not, good sir!
USS James “Jimmy Mad Dog” Madison.
Cut up for scrap 20 years ago.
Gumby was on the decom crew of the TJ in 1984. Then the Scoop for a couple of sea trials and also the commissioning crew of the Nebraska. Plus tenders, Holland and Simon Lake.
The very young Brick Meathook went to boot camp in Great Lakes, Nuke school in Orlando FL and Idaho, and then six patrols in the fleet. Same era.
I’m still fucked up from that
Gumby’s sleep will never be right.
Oh boy do I know that story.
I was never the slightest bit claustrophobic back then, but the older I get the more claustrophobic nightmares I have.
Oh this is a beautiful start. I should stop watching
Browns did a good?
Good start, Ben.
#ThePauls?
I am personally glad for all this anti-Trump activism, because it makes my write-in presidential campaign that much more viable.
Umm, I distinctly remember that a hobo loses it’s bindle on Sunday nights.
https://twitter.com/jasonashville/status/1348395055267065862
Tennessee, WTF?
We need to completely shut down the Tennessee border until we can figure out what’s going on there.
We need to completely shut down the Tennessee border….
Stop drilling, you’ve struck oil!
Or at least until we can figure out who’s funding the convoys they’re sending into the US
Isn’t it Clarence Thomas’ wife?
Bur where will Ohioans go for their Bachelorette parties?
By the way, ‘Federal Sleepover Inmate’ sound adorable.
Who is already depressed for the slow tapering off of our FITBAW heroine??
Won’t hit till conference for me
Suzy Kolber is retiring?
Oh, you meant heroin
Hello. Did I do it right?
No.
I’m still trying to diddle my fiddle.