Your “And Now, The Main Event” AFC Playoff Playoff Game Open Thread

Is that guy and his makeup team still around? He made some pretty penny for a while there.

TO THE GAME!

Ravens/Bills:

-Apparently New York State isn’t allowing bars and restaurants to open for the game. So, you may want to mumble a prayer for Aunt Mabel’s kitchen table.

-What with rb Moss out and backup Yeldon not having played since October 13th, it be (as Hippo and I have wanted for 2 years now) Devin Singletary all the damn game long. Or Devonta Freeman will get 15 carries. Whatever.

-The Ravens have one of the few secondaries that can cope with the Bills deep receiving corps. We may once again see Gabe Davis hold down the fort until Diggs and Beasley get unstuck, as happened last week. A ton of credit has to go to qb Allen for going to Davis on a few plays where he sure as hell wasn’t the first or second read.

-Baltimore plays a lot of man and this where Allen thrives-he has the 3rd-highest passing grade, the 2nd-most TD’s and an 8.8 yards per attempt stat against that setup. It gets worse (for the Ravens) because Diggs gets a 36% target share in this spot.

-More good/bad news depending on your cheering preference is that Baltimore blitzes at a 40% rate and Allen has the most TD passes (18) vs the blitz. The Ravens might just get hoisted on their own petard.

-Buffalo’s run D has tightened up recently (see just last week) but has given up 150+ yards five times over the course of the season. Just Kidding Dobbins has averaged over 6 ypc and has scored in seven straight contests.

-Keep an eye out for Mark Andrews because defending the tight end is a huge weakness for the Bills. Cox and Co. burned them for 14 catches and 136 yards during Wild Card Weekend.

-Bills OC Brian Daboll, who is being pursed by the Eagles and Chargers shares a birthday with meeeeeeeeeee.

Have at it.

 

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
339 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cracking open a new bottle of mezcal. Let’s roll.

Brick Meathook
ballsofsteelandfury

Damn

Mr. Ayo

Slow

TheRevanchist

Tomorrow is the important game. Chiefs should win. Mayfield should choke (on goat dick). And I plan to be eating some BBQ to celebrate.

Doktor Zymm

Not even 8 pm here, sleep tight y’all

TheRevanchist

Oh, yeah. Go back to the bar!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll be kinda disappointed if the only two AFC teams I’m interested in seeing go to the SB (CLE, BUF) have to play each other in the championship game. Who to root for?

TheRevanchist

You KC? Pretty sure you mean KC.

Doktor Zymm

Despite my mild wtf, GO BUFFALA!!

yeah right
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I tell people “don’t dream it, be it” all the time and nobody ever gets it.

Doktor Zymm

They clearly suck

yeah right

I get it.

It takes years of experience.

Doktor Zymm

Was Brian Boitano here all along? Love him!

Gumbygirl

He’s hilarious. I watched some skating last night, Nationals were on. I love Johnny Weir too.

TheRevanchist

I’m sure he’d kick an ass or two. That’s what Brian Boitano’d do

Doktor Zymm

I may have slept through much of this game. Considerate of Lamar! to not be too awesome, aw

Brocky

i got mixed feelings on Allen’s “controversies”

on one hand, yeah he’s a teenager,

in the other, you don’t get to make the excuses if you’re loving in america post 2008, regardless of age.

Mr. Ayo

Go spend a week in Wyoming.

Brocky

……. dude, going without electricity for an hour is hard enough

Last edited 3 years ago by Brocky
King Hippo

I mean, I don’t think he needs to be drawn and quartered, neither. A minor hand-slap of a dickjoke blog nickname seems…reasonable under the circumstances.

Gumbygirl

I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know we call him Brokeback. Maybe someone should tell him, lol!

Brocky

guys might be my delayed updates, but this doesn’t look good for Baltimore

JimU

Things you could have said for the past fifty years.

Gumbygirl

Good for Buffalo, but the first half of that game was painful to watch.

Brocky

so second half …. not worth watching ?

King Hippo

It was considerably better than the first. But no, I wouldn’t re-watch had I missed it live.

clint greasewood

Nice try Willie Beaman

Mother Puncher

Huntley is kind of good. Hope another team sees this.

Recovery Whiskey

Wouldnt this require quality GM play? That rules out almost the entire NFL

Gatoraids

Darude Shankstorm

Recovery Whiskey

Jesus F thats not on Huntley

herodotus450

“Lamar you ignorant slut”
-T. Huntley

King Hippo

Bass-o-matic joins Tucker in 1-for-3 lodge

Horatio Cornblower

Shank’lor is working OT tonight.

King Hippo

OK, I am deffo pulling against BUF after seeing that Brokeback Obama poster.

Mother Puncher

Enlighten us. What poster?

King Hippo

Some asshole in the stands had a mockup of the Obama “Hope” poster, but with Brokeback on it. Complete with his little Hitler-stache.

Brick Meathook

Who is “Brokeback”?

King Hippo

Quartered Back Josh Allen. Because he played at Wyoming, and was homophobic online as a teenager.

Brick Meathook

As a teenager? That’s a little harsh.

King Hippo

I consider it needling. I just needed a bad nickname hook.

Recovery Whiskey

So one guy equals a fanbase. Idk. Won’t judge but i’m not quite there.

Kind of wondering why his neighbor wasnt kicking his ass though for sure

King Hippo

I am not a rational Hippo. I must make snap judgments when I am choosing allegiance in games involving teams I don’t like or hate.

Mother Puncher

Thank God twitter wasn’t around when I was a 16 year old dipshit

Recovery Whiskey

Some of my hot taeks still exist on usenet to this day. Keeps you humble. And anon.

Brocky

so iackson is like out-out?

BugEyedBoo

Concussion.

King Hippo

yep, announced he will nae return

Mr. Ayo

His season is done. You may be able to see him in next year’s preseason.

Mother Puncher

Out cold

Mother Puncher

Does anybody actually have Aflec insurance?

King Hippo

it’s basically a scam, right?

Mother Puncher

Seems like insurance solely for the 3 employees of a guy who owns a jetski dealership

Gatoraids

Actresses on set with Casey

King Hippo

Well, sommet called Tyler Huntley has completed a forward pass in the NFL playoffs!

King Hippo

/he could not complete #2, sadly

//Lamar! callback complete

Brocky

@recovery whiskey

about an hour before kickoff my dad got a call from a neighbor: apparently some idiot hit a utility pole that needs to be replaced, so they scheduled a time to shut the whole grid down.

this meant my game getting shut off at halftime, and my lack of wifi makes game updates slow

King Hippo

They chose nighttime in January??

Brocky

the asshole driving drunk? yes

Brocky

like some people lost power as soon as accident happened. they’re just swapping equipment out to cut down time

King Hippo

yeah, if some folk lost it already, that makes sense. Too late to even drive to bogart a Starbucks wi-fi

ballsofsteelandfury

Excuse me, Burger King is the official DFO bogarting wi-fi of choice!

Brick Meathook

DOCTOR: Lamar, how many fingers am I holding up?

LAMAR: I’m ready for the 440, Coach!

King Hippo

His head surely hurts, but that’s also a poop duck walk if I ever seen one.

Gatoraids

The shitter is full

herodotus450

Why doesn’t the purple team with 4 runningbacks simply, run the ball?

Beerguyrob

C’mon man!

Fronkenshteen

Buff @ KC would be tits.

clint greasewood

SVU going with a Kavanugh angle

Last edited 3 years ago by clint greasewood
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Ripped from 2018’s headlines!!!”

King Hippo

God, remember when Justice Rapey was the most shocking abuse of power we could imagine? So much Holding of Our Beer.

Spur

Imitation Lamar, you cant tell the difference.

herodotus450

I can’t believe it’s not Lamarr!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

LOCKER ROOM LAMAR PART 2: ELECTRIC POOPAROO!

Gatoraids

Lamar chugging fiber like Popeye chugging spinach in the locker room

Mother Puncher

I feel like Browns and Bengals are the only two divisional rivals that cheer for each other. Shared geography. Both hate the ravens for stealing a team. Hate steelers for obvious reasons. Rarely good in the same year. Am I wrong?

Beerguyrob

Lamar haz cramps?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Another poop?

Recovery Whiskey

I just got to explain Wide Right, Machine Gun Kelly and Dave Hostetler to my spouse who was 9 when it happened. Its moments like these that make football family.

Beerguyrob

As long as you didn’t have to explain what a catch is, you’re gold.

Mr. Ayo

SAFETY DANCE!

Mr. Ayo

Dammit. Dead Lamar! instead.

King Hippo

He poopin’ again? Get that guy some morning fiber smh

Mr. Ayo

Head owie.

clint greasewood

comment image

Beerguyrob

We are but a safety away from this being a complete Ravens schmozz.

King Hippo

Holy cats, you ALMOST called your shot!

Beerguyrob

Holy shit! Let’s try something else…

We’re just JLaw blowing me away from this being a Ravens schmozz.

Brocky

….. i should lose power at halftime more often

Mr. Ayo

Narrative proven correct. LAMAR! cannot win a big game.

Gatoraids

Call that interception CORVID-21 because it took all the breathe out of the Ravens

Brick Meathook

FROM THE END ZONE!