Is that guy and his makeup team still around? He made some pretty penny for a while there.
TO THE GAME!
Ravens/Bills:
-Apparently New York State isn’t allowing bars and restaurants to open for the game. So, you may want to mumble a prayer for Aunt Mabel’s kitchen table.
-What with rb Moss out and backup Yeldon not having played since October 13th, it be (as Hippo and I have wanted for 2 years now) Devin Singletary all the damn game long. Or Devonta Freeman will get 15 carries. Whatever.
-The Ravens have one of the few secondaries that can cope with the Bills deep receiving corps. We may once again see Gabe Davis hold down the fort until Diggs and Beasley get unstuck, as happened last week. A ton of credit has to go to qb Allen for going to Davis on a few plays where he sure as hell wasn’t the first or second read.
-Baltimore plays a lot of man and this where Allen thrives-he has the 3rd-highest passing grade, the 2nd-most TD’s and an 8.8 yards per attempt stat against that setup. It gets worse (for the Ravens) because Diggs gets a 36% target share in this spot.
-More good/bad news depending on your cheering preference is that Baltimore blitzes at a 40% rate and Allen has the most TD passes (18) vs the blitz. The Ravens might just get hoisted on their own petard.
-Buffalo’s run D has tightened up recently (see just last week) but has given up 150+ yards five times over the course of the season. Just Kidding Dobbins has averaged over 6 ypc and has scored in seven straight contests.
-Keep an eye out for Mark Andrews because defending the tight end is a huge weakness for the Bills. Cox and Co. burned them for 14 catches and 136 yards during Wild Card Weekend.
-Bills OC Brian Daboll, who is being pursed by the Eagles and Chargers shares a birthday with meeeeeeeeeee.
Have at it.
This here is some good kickin!
Praise be!
Double doink?
A DOUBLE DOINK GAME!
okay, show of hands, which ones of is doesn’t have a crush on AT&T Girl?
I don’t, but that’s only because I made out with her in an elevator and she uses too much tongue.
The list is Hippo. And probably our womenfolk. She does absolutely nothing for me.
She makes a cute face in one of the ads that makes me want to slap the shit out of her.
She reminds me of thousands of available slightly needy but snarky women who were in my wheelhouse before finding Ms. Whiskey during that one club show in the late 1990s.
She isn’t my type. I’m watching Paula Zahn on one of those ID channel shows. Something about her makes me pay attention.
Shan’Khor just adores Buffalo in January.
It’s basically his winter home.
HER!
Goddess Bless
Ethan is that you?
Wide, right?
HAIL SHANKLOR!
Lily looks like a Russian stacking doll with that haircut.
— Donald Trump Jr.
as I’ve stated before, no other actress vexes me so much with their apparent ability to tone down their sex appeal
I can’t tell if the guy who plays Enoch on Agents of Shield lives close to me. I saw him at the farmer’s market, but that’s a couple of miles away. But I think I saw him tonight just down the street.
Better than seeing them on farmersonly
AT&T’s Lily having a new hairdo is the most exciting development in my love life in the last year.
The real winner in this tilt…looks like Kansas City to me.
Big if true
The girlfriend? Patriots fan.
She’ll be handy for sure
She really knows how to deflate balls.
But like, a legit one, if she wasnt with Jets dude I would hook her up with our good residents
my cousin grew up in new Hampshire and tried to convince me she wasn’t claiming to be a fan just to impress her boyfriend.
i asked her to name 3 active Patriots players.
she said brady and gronk. she tried to guess welker and Hernandez after they “left” the team
A crossover of Young Sheldon and Young Rock needed.
Or, and hear me out here, a musical called Sheldon Rocks!
Need it like a tabasco enema. I’d pay to turn the Young Rock and Toyota Sienna commercials off.
Are the Spanish announcers any better than these two slapdicks? I watch enough SexiMexi futbol that their excitement is better than these two.
The Mexican guys are always better. — CONCACAF footy fans
ron riveria is a andy reid protege?
how bout no Scott..
he’s a defensive coach. his influences were buddy ryan and lovie smith
He turned to Andy for eating advice when he lost all that cancer weight
Riverboat Ron is Ditka. Who the fuck made this list they’re fired
Andy Reid’s Influence: BOGO pork tenderloin
I always pictured the Andy Reid Tree as having sausages hanging from it.
Banner?
It will be considered
At Christmas. Easter. Halloween. Veteran’s Day. President’s Day. National Hot Dog Day. Dorris Day.
….father’s day?
Fatter’s Day?
TOUCHING THE QUARTERED BACK!!!1111
/should have been a yellow for diving
Simulation.
which is far MOAR unsportsmanlike than, like, running out of bounds on punt coverage
Josh Allen flops better than Wayne Rooney
That Rooney analogy I think tips me over into cheering for Balmer
Only Foles has bigger flops
and that could be explained by his massive bollocks dramatically shifting his center of gravity
The probability of her ever been in Buffalo: <10%.
Brian Cushing would like all of you to know “yellow biscuit casino”
What a play, and his dipshit tailback drops the pass.
Lamar! gonna kill some fools at the half.
I mean, placement kicker, punter, tailback. That’s quite the derp, and we still got 3+ quarters to play.
Balto fan. Lapsed Catholic. As long as she doesn’t visit Chicago then get thrown out of the Ministry show at the Meteo then pull a suicide attempt on her wrist a block up on Clark.
That parking lot has seen a lot of trucker handjobs.
There’s our national disgrace!
Papa John’s?
Ted Cruz?
The GOP?
Goddammn how far behind is my feed?
did trump win reelection?
Our Goddess will not be mocked!!
Fuck it. Are ya goin deep?
Gotta unleash the dragon
that tshirt is how i found the old site
— B. Walsh
Fuck you Tucker
I have BAL ML and 1st half ML, FUCK YOU TUCKER indeed.
“Fuck Tucker; Tucker sucks.” — George Carlin
Quoth the raven, BOING!
yeah, she gets my vote. Plus, she is a Ratbirds supporter, so she is right in Hippo’s crazy/stabby wheelhouse
Underboob equality nicely done
In the immortal words of Chuck Mosley, “It’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it”
after all that, they’ll kick a FG of roughly the same distance
Harbaugh’s got sort of an Invisible Man look going on. Or a terrorist.
to those interested, the new invisible man is really good
How could you see it to be sure
for the record, i did pick Baltimore to win this game
Wallace has had enough of this
As the laundry flies the attempt is given
Lamar’s like WHAT?!
Imagine you travel the USA and keep meeting the same idiot in the airport lounge who wants to talk your ear off about football.
Such is the life of Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth.
One of those classic matchups of a power offense vs a speedy defense? Dafuq?
Ray Liotta sounds like shit
https://twitter.com/ZachCrenshaw/status/1349854404371877890
He violated his release conditions and they’re just gonna release him again? Why bother even chasing him down?
What a hero. Isn’t he the goober who calls himself Baked Alaska? When he gets to prison, I hope he get’s his… wait for it… Just Desserts!
I heard the words ‘sanchez’ and ‘geno smith’ and yes, I am sitting next to a jets fan
are you in a public place with cameras?
Probably! And he has a girlfriend with awesome owl bladder tatts who is sitting between us
Attempt to parse ‘owl bladder tatts’ unsuccessful
Her dad died from bladder cancer, and she has a bunch of tattoos dedicated to him, one of which is a stellear owl
Well thats cool. And will override my Dead Milkmen reference
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyaK3jo4Sl4
Geno’s Seattle’s backup now.
Red Wings legend Bobby Ryan scores their first goal of the season. Only had to wait 4 periods.
I like both these teams. Can we make punkass Greenbay play one of these teams instead?
This week may be the biggest challenge Josh Allen has faced all year. Having to do an interview with Chris Simms.
interviewer: what play defines Josh Allen?
Josh Allen: probably that 50 yard touchdown to steffon diggs to cost Brocky his fantasy football championship
https://twitter.com/riversmccown/status/1350606662315503620
Lol, so the Texans didn’t interview Saleh or Bienemy? Who are two of the top consensus HC candidates this season? AFTER their franchise QB asked them to too?
they weren’t properly grounded in CHRIST suck it libtards!!!111
Considering Bill O’Brain was the first coach fired they had a huge head start.
Texans are fucked. Couldnt have happen to a better ownership group. Watson needs to be traded to San Fran.
SI, (I know, I was surprised too), has a good story about the Texans front office debacle. That team is screwed for a long time to come and, as usual, it’s Jesus’s fault.
I share a birthday with Duran Duran’s Simon LeBon. I found this cool as fuck in junior high.
i share a birthday with peter king.
for years it was my shame.
now i can say i share my birthday with someone else
Olivia Newton John for me. Not very cool.
well, it sure was in 1981!
Oddly enough, we are the same height too. But I could kick her ass!
for some reason, this reminds me of the time I was watching Kingdom of the crystal skull (I REFUSE to call it by its actual name.
i remember thinking that I could beat up Shia LaBeouf’s character. that movie was so bad i was contemplating throwing hands with a fictional character in order to prove a point
I share a birthday with JFK’s assassination but you don’t hear me running around bragging about it.
You should.
I got Elvis’s deathaversary. Back in my youth they used to play Elvis songs all day on my birthday….
Memories of floating in my rich step-dad’s swimming pool on that hot August afternoon, a high school kid baked out of my mind, fully enjoying the result of my mom’s social climbing ability … when the radio broke the news. The King Is Dead.
Duane Allman died on the day of my birth.
I got Don Johnson. One day earlier and it would’ve been Brad Pitt.
Ernie Kovacs, Randolph Scott, Django Reinhart, and MacGiver
You have six shopping days
I got Tupac Shakur, AEWs Jungle Boy, OJ’s buddy Al Cowlings and Jurgen Klopp.
I have Bob Ross and Dan Castellaneta
Man, I thought the internet was overeacting to Pam Oliver, but I just watched her post-game talks with Rodgers and Jones and there is something way off about her.
Black folks don’t like the cold.
black folks don’t feel safe in Wisconsin
seriously, its like indiana but with more hunting rifles
I seem to recall people talking about her having some sort of brain issue a few years ago, like she’s had a bunch of concussions or something?
I’m sure they give you Brandy as a courtesy in were ever you go in Wisconsin. Glass at the airport, glass in the uber to the hotel, glass at the hotel, glass when entering the stadium, glass in the ladies room and by the time its kickoff your in trouble.
I think Pam Oliver is drunk
Good for her, I hope she is and I hope it was good booze
you make a decision on your own booziness?
She deserves nice things and nice times
are you referring to pam or are you talking in the third person?
Why not both?