Is that guy and his makeup team still around? He made some pretty penny for a while there.
TO THE GAME!
Ravens/Bills:
-Apparently New York State isn’t allowing bars and restaurants to open for the game. So, you may want to mumble a prayer for Aunt Mabel’s kitchen table.
-What with rb Moss out and backup Yeldon not having played since October 13th, it be (as Hippo and I have wanted for 2 years now) Devin Singletary all the damn game long. Or Devonta Freeman will get 15 carries. Whatever.
-The Ravens have one of the few secondaries that can cope with the Bills deep receiving corps. We may once again see Gabe Davis hold down the fort until Diggs and Beasley get unstuck, as happened last week. A ton of credit has to go to qb Allen for going to Davis on a few plays where he sure as hell wasn’t the first or second read.
-Baltimore plays a lot of man and this where Allen thrives-he has the 3rd-highest passing grade, the 2nd-most TD’s and an 8.8 yards per attempt stat against that setup. It gets worse (for the Ravens) because Diggs gets a 36% target share in this spot.
-More good/bad news depending on your cheering preference is that Baltimore blitzes at a 40% rate and Allen has the most TD passes (18) vs the blitz. The Ravens might just get hoisted on their own petard.
-Buffalo’s run D has tightened up recently (see just last week) but has given up 150+ yards five times over the course of the season. Just Kidding Dobbins has averaged over 6 ypc and has scored in seven straight contests.
-Keep an eye out for Mark Andrews because defending the tight end is a huge weakness for the Bills. Cox and Co. burned them for 14 catches and 136 yards during Wild Card Weekend.
-Bills OC Brian Daboll, who is being pursed by the Eagles and Chargers shares a birthday with meeeeeeeeeee.
Have at it.
Doesn’t get much more SUDDEN CHANGE than that!
Massive reversal
OH MY
WELP
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Lamar! must be missing his days in the Senate now.
He’s certainly going to Condition Plaid now
I strongly dislike the Ravens
Care to take a stab at describing why?
But Ray Rice punched the mother of his child. You re pro Mother punching no?
Let’s not judge people for their mother punching
I’m happy they’re losing
I’m no historian but I’m pretty sure if this game took place in 1905 Teddy Roosevelt would have declared it illegal.
All the trust in this game was busted a long time ago
To be fair, BAL’s center is breaking in a new pair of hands.
Lamar!
Lamar!ception.
Are all the new network shows just turds that pre-#NuAIDS didn’t make the cut?
Just like all the old network shows.
Wow. A Double-Ground-Field-Goal!
Buff!
What is this sorcery? Com-pe-tence??
Josh Allen stared down that receiver so hard, I’m shipping them.
Brokeback going interracial, is Hollywoo really ready?
this comment makes a lot of sense with your profile pic
Holy crap a touchdown
so my got turned off a full 2 hours after they said it would. 2nd half should be fucking amazing
You accidentally a word
I and drank it all over the sun.
i see.
my power is now turned off. I’m debating risking my remaining phone charge to watch the game on yahoo
Why is your power turned off
Spent all his moneys on meth?
well what’s the point of the edit function
Buuuuuffala
In bed! Winner!
thats good hustle!
Don’t stop drinking. That would just be giving up.
Don’t worry, I got some Ola brews in my mini fridge
Wind is impacting passing game, both coaches say, but BUF’s dedication to not give Singletary touches is without rival.
Think he’ll get the 7 receiving yards he needs to go over the total? After Yeldon missed that block & got Brokeback sacked?
prop betting, always harder than it seems!
So, what did I miss in the first half?
Justin Tucker became Cody Parkey.
Absolutely nothing.
The score is 3-3. Take a guess.
Lily has a new haircut.
a rousing debate on the gender of SHANKLOR
still, you should be ashamed to have done something with non-imaginary friends
Point of Order: I only heard them over the Xbox live chat, so it could’ve easily have been my schizophrenia acting up.
So Comcast is taking over for the US federal government on the vaccination plan now?
At the point id be willing to pay 300 a month for a vaccine
Can’t wait to see which broadcast idiots refer to tomorrow’s as a “revenge game” for Kareem Hunt.
He will probably take revenge on his girlfriend if he loses.
Everyone knows it’s Windy.
Justin Tucker on sideline whipping his bare feet out on the sideline giving himself the Boogie Nights pepetalk
EXACTLY CORRECT
It’s my big foot and I say when we’re ready to kick. And, am ready to kick now Jack.
Tucker can go three-for-three on DOINK
Xerox of fate
I mean, a perfect hat trick would be off the crossbar, but that’s pretty tough from 33.
Let’s go triple DOINK!
On peacock, fuck you NBC
they really want folks to buy it. I already did, because Everton usually…doesn’t get prime real estate.
You mean the Ravens game? I’m watching it on the side on the NFL app for free.
How funny! The guy in the old Bud Light ad (Eddie Jemison) is also someone I’ve encountered in LA. He said hi to my dog.
Impossible not to see the MMF undertones of that ATT Lily add.
Fucking bummer. I’ve been looking forward to this game all week.
perhaps a SUDDEN CHANGE after the half
OR EVEN SOONER
Here’s the article Horatio mentioned. Quite excellent.
https://www.si.com/nfl/2020/12/10/ex-chaplain-jack-easterby-houston-texans-chaos-after-power-struggle-daily-cover
I guess I could have linked to it, but that seemed like a lot of work.
They shoulda put this game on Nickelodean to get the kids to bed early
Is that not the same as World’s Dumbest? Also do any of them get stuck in a water cooler?
Diggstown
Not gonna lie, this game is rapidly approaching “go read a book” status
Nobody loves a good defensive battle anymore
oh, I love defensive battles, but this has been more like “chucklefuckery”
Perhaps something by Edgar Allen Poe?
This game has been, not what I thought.
Its evenly matched. So yay.
Time to consider the quick kick.
— John Elway
I’m about to quick kick this assburger of a game off my TV.
Mini-Guns has his father’s face but thats about it
Ok wait its mid January and no snow in Buffalo? Proof global warming is real
It was ninety degrees today in LA. I’m literally sitting in my underwear right now.
Judon the Grudge Sack
As opposed to Jon the Gruden Suck
OF COURSE, the game all neutrals looked forward to the most is a flaming bag of shit. WITH NO SNOW.
You arent eagerly salivating for BREES v BRADY?
only to the extent it replicates the epic beatdown NO delivered Week 9
If the kicking tonight continues in this vein, it will be a good example of the difference between consistency and accuracy.
Fried baloney sandwiches it is!
I stay haven’t left the house since getting covid. I’m thinking tomorrow is the day to go shopping.
I didn’t eat red meat for about 15 years, and every once in a while, I still get a craving for a veggie burger. Tonight is the night.
Double Doinks
hahahaha
Lamar’s Updated Kill List: punter, placement kicker (x2), center, tailback
Probably easier to just go with “KILL ALL HUMANS”.
We used poisonous gases. And we poisoned their asses!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1BdQcJ2ZYY
Sucksin Sucker amirite
Game is dedicated to the memory of Scott Norwood
Not hated in some parts of the Nation.
may he rest in peace
– Charlie Day
Shank’hor demands his sacrifice of DOINKs!
Whoopsie!
He has nailed BOTH know, and Sha’nkhor/Shank’hor is coming relentlessly.