Your AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Now this is the money shot, if you will. Likeable qb’s, exciting qb’s, excitable qb’s, even. Plus my chili has been happily simmering away for oh, about six-ish hours or so by now. Everything is beautiful…

TO THE GAME!

-The last time the Bills were in this spot they were playing a very old Joseph Montana. (sounds like some gold prospector that started his own religion back in the 1800’s) As for The Chefs, they’re the very first AFC squadoo to host the game for three straight years.

-Sammy Watkins-listed as questionable-is that typical boom or bust fantasy guy on a team with many mouths to feed you regretted drafting. Thing is, he shows up in the playoffs. In his five games as a Chiefs he’s averaged 93 yards receiving per outing.

-The unsung player that is responsible for the Bills D being that bend-don’t-break unit is lb Matt Milano. He’s battled injuries and only played 10 regular season games (plus the two playoffs tilts) and hasn’t lost yet. When he’s not in the D gives up the 28th most rushing yards, when he plays they adjust to 9th. Average 1st downs per game drop from 31st to 8th. As far as points allowed, the D goes from 29th to 2nd.

-Kelce Time! (once again) The Bills gave up the most catches and the 2nd most receiving yards to tight ends.

-On A Roll: Honey Badger has 5 picks in his last 7 games. DC Steve Spaghetti Noodle refers to him as ‘my chess piece’.

-No one is surprised that Mahomes cleared the concussion protocol but what about the turf toe protocol?

-K.C.’s secondary does a great job on outside receivers so this should be an interesting battle. The Bills/Allen won’t back down from the challenge-mostly because they can’t run the ball in any meaningful way.

-As for the Chiefs, CEH went for 161 when these teams met up last time but as noted above, the Bills D is healthy and raring to go. As well, it looks like Darrel Williams will tote the rock.

-Take the over?

Drizzle your gizzards below.

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Petronel

BLEERGH has been having a fun day today

Doktor Zymm

Wait…am I lagging by a LOT or am I living in an alternate universe where the score is lower?

Mr. Ayo

Why not both?

But yes, you’re way behind.

Doktor Zymm

lagging. Although the alternate universe theory was fun while it lasted.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok so now they just need to recover the onside kick, score a quick field goal, recover another onside kick, score a quick touchdown, and then do that one more time. Easy peasy.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, on to Step 2, I guess.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And they didn’t even have to steal underpants.

Doktor Zymm

I always contended that Step 2 was “sell underpants on ebay and craig’s list”

LemonJello

Don’t forget the Japanese vending machine market.

Doktor Zymm

Yes, we can go international with this!

Horatio Cornblower

This would be just like Brady’s inexplicable luck: KC loses their stud O-lineman to an Achilles tendon and half their D gets suspended for getting in a stupid brawl in the last three minutes.

Dunstan

“That’s just veteran leadership” — Nantz, probably

litre_cola
Senor Weaselo

Fun fact: The Internet deduced it was 1/20/92!

Sharkbait

Over! Woooo! PRAISE GAMBLOR!

litre_cola

BE PRAISED!

Recovery Whiskey

Garbagedown

Horatio Cornblower

INVISIBLE DFO FRIENDS MAKE MONEY!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Tough, but likely fair.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Damn you fire stick for lagging!

Congrats to Sharky and Litre. Send cash.

JimU

I picked the wrong week to start my mobile folding table sales business in Buffalo.

litre_cola

This is very good.

Senor Weaselo

So… I didn’t realize I had scheduled a gig for the 7th. Is the only recourse seppuku?

/Hopefully it’s early

Sharkbait

I would say call out sick, but that’s bad karma right about now.

Senor Weaselo

I’m probably leading the gig and might have the iPads fulla music.

Col. Duke LaCross

I was supposed to be on a plane to Fiji that day as a plus-one for my girlfriend’s week-long work retreat, but she just quit her gig for another one, so I’m stuck listening to Nantz suck off Brady for five hours that day instead.

Horatio Cornblower

I really need to know why someone would quit their job within a month of a week long retreat in Fiji.

Doktor Zymm

Concur. I would put up with legit physical and psychological abuse for this, assuming it’s a decent hotel.

litre_cola

I would even go back to my hostel days right now.

Doktor Zymm

I can do hostel on my own dime, if it’s OPM it best be nice

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, today is two weeks’ notice.

Doktor Zymm

Still think it should be pronounced KelCHe, damn Americans

Sharkbait

Come on Buffalo. I know you have one more field goal in you

litre_cola

You are correct. Sharky is on board too.

Horatio Cornblower

This is literally the only reason I’m still watching.

Sharkbait

Also Me

Horatio Cornblower

Litre Down!

Mr. Ayo

I think the Bills should start circling their wagons sooner rather than later.

Gatoraids

Did Henne call that keeper

Horatio Cornblower

“I’m playing in a Super Bowl one way or the other!”

Horatio Cornblower

The Dr. Pepper guy is the guy who finished second to Kelly Clarkson in the first year of American Idol. I just found this out today and I’m having a hard time with that.

Recovery Whiskey

Justin Guardini or something like that. Why do I know this.

Mother Puncher

I like to picture a group of 40-something wine moms talking at a party and one goes “wouldn’t ‘From Justin to Kelly’ have been so much better if it was Justin Timberlake instead” and all her friends agreeing with her

Recovery Whiskey

Upvote for wine moms

Brocky

i feel like I’ve known this previously and i found it so insignificant that my brain never found any reason to reference it again

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This Dr. Pepper ad makes me want to murder something

Recovery Whiskey

Simon Cowell for starting that guy’s career

Gatoraids

Well contractually Cowell still probably taking 80 of his money from that commercial

Gumbygirl

Yes. They are going to be good for a long time, no need to feel bad about this.

Horatio Cornblower

Aren’t you the boss?

Fire the lot of them for questioning you.

Gumbygirl

Then they can become hobos, and then…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well this Super Bowl matchup is straight out of my fucking nightmares, so I think the NFL season has just ended for me.

Recovery Whiskey

The game won’t involve Dallas, Pittsburgh or New England though

Brocky

i still don’t wanna jump on the chiefs hate bandwagon.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve worked very hard to avoid hating Mahomes – and I’ve succeeded – but that’s about the best I can muster.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know you’re gonna watch it still. It’s like Kanye with the Ray-J tape.

Last edited 3 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Game Time Decision

What else are you going at wtach that day?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Got some paintin’ to do, I’ll probably hang out and watch it dry.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh I don’t know; a little something called The Puppy Bowl, you goddamn Communist!!!!

Game Time Decision

Love my stream lagging as the comments tell me when to really pay attention

Doktor Zymm

Handy, isn’t it?

Doktor Zymm

This game was not as interesting as anticipated

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, the earlier one was much more interesting.

Horatio Cornblower

I made myself a hot chocolate, (Dry January! Yay!), and there was some spilled jelly from a raspberry doughnut other members of the house had cut in half, so I added it to the hot chocolate and I don’t like to brag, but I’m a fucking genius.

litre_cola

I am a tea guy in January. With you in the struggle, I think I am going to go all the way to Superb Owl and then blackout by noon.

Doktor Zymm

Tea is excellent, I have lots of it. Doing dry Feb instead of Jan though, shortest month. I do have a conundrum this year though, as I’ve randomly obtained a couple of really nice bottles, and I’m not sure whether I should drink them over the next week, or yield to my temptation to save them for a special occasion and have them tempting me over all of Feb.

Gumbygirl

You’ll enjoy them more if you can conquer the temptation.

Doktor Zymm

I would probably have no problem saving them for multiple months if I didn’t ban myself from drinking them

Gumbygirl

I bet a spoonful of peanut butter would be good also. I’m a traditionalist, give me marshmallows 90 % of the time, but I’m digging what you’re laying down!

Sharkbait

Get 7 on this drive Mahomes!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Game blouses

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

litre_cola

9 more points!

Recovery Whiskey

Oof

Brocky

so…

isn’t there some sort of stat that shows of the two teams in the super bowl the one with the smaller margin of victory in the conference championship usually ends up winning the super bowl?

Doktor Zymm

Probably, and would be easy enough to calculate, but that sounds suspiciously like work

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Pats Fan happy for Brady, doesn’t actually care that much. Although he’s been with the rest of us in caring less about NFL in the past few years, so probably not representative, just like the brethren here

Recovery Whiskey

THIS BUFFALO TEAM I CALL THEM ‘DAS BOOT’ BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEYRE FIGHTING HARD NOW YOU KNOW IN THE END THEY WILL BE SUNK.

Don T

If the Bills start the 4th QRT with a play involving a foot, I hope KC scores 50 on ‘em.

LemonJello

“50? Feet? You, sir, have my attention.”
-Rex Ryan

Doktor Zymm

What if Allen dropkicks instead of passes? That would be neat

Gatoraids

Be a long field goal from there but theyll try

Doktor Zymm

I’m thinking, using the NFL standard, Kelce is probably not quite an asshole

ballsofsteelandfury

I think he’s the Chiefs’ candidate for the Walter Payton Man of the Year.

Gatoraids

Gronk probably more a candidate for Antonio Cromarties Father of the Year Award

Last edited 3 years ago by Gatoraids
Doktor Zymm

Upstanding Snitizen!

Brick Meathook

Bro of the Year

SonOfSpam

He was on Moonbase 8. Which was somewhere between okay and good.

LemonJello

So, will the Bucs be the first team to lose a Superb Owl that they are hosting in their own stadium?

Brocky

didn’t you post the same thing last year?

Doktor Zymm

As long as Otto has stayed sufficiently hydrated no reason it can’t be true both years

Sharkbait

MOAR POINTS!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

ERIC BIENEMY NEEDS TO GET PAID.

Do we need to get BTS TikTok on this?

SonOfSpam

Mahomes with the underhand softball pitch because he can.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ok, so Chiefs-Bucs. I can live with that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did Kelce try to pick that flag up? That big dumb animal.

SonOfSpam

*Big dumb sex animal

ballsofsteelandfury

Kelce and Gronk in the same Super Bowl…

Col. Duke LaCross

Hill ded.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a shame

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He’ll get right back to beating sooner than we’d hope.

litre_cola

If his girlfriend and unborn child would have only listened.

SonOfSpam

He may occasionally beat women, WHICH I DO NOT HEARTILY ENDORSE, but damn Reek is quick.

Doktor Zymm

And children, don’t forget the children!

SonOfSpam

Yeah, but it’s not interesting unless he uses a switch.

Preferably the Nintendo one.

Sharkbait

Need some 7 pointers. These 3s aren’t helping the over

Gatoraids

Come on Buffalo only down by 6 now…we FGs

Mother Puncher

4th and 3 dude. Bills do not want to face Brady again

Mr. Ayo

From down 2 scores, to down 2 scores. Again.