A Most Excellent Lesser Weekend Awaits! (Sabado Open Thread)

Good day, y’all.  YES, as a matter of fact, I do still plan to boycott the Superb Owl.  Thank God I am a Lesser enthusiast, as we get a full, bona fide near-quintupleheader today (and a quaddie tomorrow).  Good matchups, too.

Damn, I originally read the schedule as FIVE full time slots, but tis 5 fixtures for 4 slots (PHRASING).

Start your day with the rugged, virile handsomeness of Mikel Arteta!  As he seeks to vanquish that dire cunt Grealish (7:30, NBCSN).  That is 10th place Arsenal at 9th position Villa, with just one fickle point separating the two in the table.  The Gooners seem like they are finally making their move into at least Europa qualification.  Anything less than that will seem disastrous.  David Luiz’ red card suspension should help the Gooner cause for the next three matches, anyway.

You get a choice in the 10:00 window, but really only the NBCSN option is appetizing (Barcodes hosting Saints).  Newcastle had been drifting aimlessly toward the relegation zone, but playing Everton got them back on survival-track.  Soton is back in the bottom half, where they fookin’ belong.  I’d bet on a Draw here.  15th position Trashbirds (who are shit hot all of a sudden) travel to 17th-in-the-table Team White Lives Matter, on Peacock.  Jeebus Tapdancing FUCK, does Burnley ever need to go down already.

Mighty Whitey hosting the Spotlight Dance?  MAKE IT SO!  It’s also a Clubhouse Derby, with Fronk’s Hammers visiting the Cottage (12:30, NBC).  Swarthily handsome/Litre family marital aid Scott Parker has staunched the bleeding…but avoiding losses will not suffice for must longer.  Fulham need all three points today, and a run of similar results.  I saw somewhere on The Athletic a depiction of West Ham’s manager as The Moyes-iah, which gave me a chuckle.  I love a bad pun, me.  He does have his side in 5th, but my Toffees are just 2 points behind, with 2 games in hand.  Truly, I expect that to be the battle for the last Europa slot, when all is said and done.

Speaking of Toffee Time, that comes with “tea” as the Brits say, closing the busy docket away to Wakey’s Red Devils (3:00, NBCSN).  Ole Gunnar’s bunch are world-beaters on their best day (they beat Saints 9-nil at midweek).  But sometimes they can’t be arsed, and Everton generally play better against opponents who want to attack.  I could use sommet less frenetic than we experienced at Elland Road last time out.  But a repeat of the result would be just fine and dandy, thanks.

If you intentionally wake up early tomorrow for Fat Sam’s Brummies at Mourinho’s limp Spurs?  You may need mental help.  But the next two on NBCSN (Wolves/Foxes and Shite/Man City) are well worth your time and attention.  The German Elton John has amped up his whinging ahead of what is hopefully the nail in their coffin, title challenge-wise.  PLEASE, GOD.

 

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One prop bet for the Super Bowl I’d like to see is an over/under for how many Chiefs players Britt Reid was supplying with Adderall and other assorted pharmaceuticals.

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Brick Meathook

What were you doing last night at 3:00 AM? Here’s what I was doing:

https://vimeo.com/509248794

Mr. Ayo

I love giant donuts!

herodotus450

If there’s a bad puck drop on a faceoff, they should kick the linesman out and make the other one come in.

yeah right

Got a full 5 mile walk in today. I missed walking the harbor. Part of the path today was from my original walk that started in 2001. I hadn’t walked this part in over 9 years. It was fantastic.

scotchnaut

SillyCuse is the stupidest fucking collection of no-talent fucksticks that have ever been assembled in ever.

HALL OF FAME, NOSE-PICKING COACH THOUGHT THAT DIVISION 2 LEVEL TALENT JOE GIRARD WAS GOING TO 1) SHOOT US BACK INTO THE GAME AND 2) BE AN EFFECTIVE PRESENCE ON THE PRESS

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Fronkenshteen

WINNER WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER!

herodotus450

Oh the Sens get a power play opportunity down 1 late in the third–oh and they commit a penalty right away.

Mr. Ayo

#ColdTakesExposed

Fronkenshteen

Put a couple skinoots on James and Bruno to score & over 3.5. Enjoy the nil-nil draw.

Brick Meathook

My preferred nose hair trimmer is endorsed by Brett Favre.

Available where all fine nose hair trimmers are sold.

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BC Dick

Thanks. My current nose hair trimmer is not nearly powerful enough for the task at hand. If Mr. Favre is willing to hold it with his own hand, which that most certainly is, I can trust it.

Brick Meathook

Just be careful. With all that power it can get away from you and do some damage.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He doesn’t have to worry about going too far up there and damaging anything.

BC Dick

Me or Brett?

Brick Meathook

That nose hair trimmer is just having fun out there.

Horatio Cornblower

A couple of years ago I climbed the highest mountain in CT, (i.e., I walked up a hill in the woods), on New Year’s Eve, and it was -7 at the summit, without the wind being figured in.

I was wearing less gear than the BBC announcers at the Fulham game.

Horatio Cornblower

I went up to the top of Half Dome once.

Once.

Horatio Cornblower

Here’s the “trail” for the last pitch…
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Horatio Cornblower

Here’s the point where I rethought a lot of life decisions…
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Horatio Cornblower

There are no winners here, Hippo.

Just people who went a lot farther up the mountain than the other guy did.

Brick Meathook

I drove to the top of Mount Wilson near Los Angeles once. It’s really difficult because there are so many switch-backs that I was constantly turning the steering wheel.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve done that! I had to turn the temperature in the car from 72 to 74!

Brick Meathook

My martini kept splashing everywhere.