Let’s wipe the slate clean the way Andy Reid uses lettuce as a napkin to wipe his mouth during a meal and then eats said napkin/lettuce afterwards. Look, it’s a form of recycling and he’s trying his best.
Well, all of our pleading, begging, crying, complaining, caterwauling, gnashing and swearing has come down to this-the likeable dude vs. the mangy old faux-vitamin seller. Damn, by the time we get to the second half it’ll be past Brady’s bedtime! But anyway, you dropped by here to interact with the lovely folks that inhabit the site, make dick jokes and say goodbye to another footed ball season so I’ll just throw some giblets out there (Petey King calls them nuggets and nuggets are gross) and we’ll be on our way.
TO THE (LAST) GAME!
Chiefs/Bucs:
-Shoutout to K.C.’s DC who goes by the name of “Spags”. He was the one who devised the Giants extraordinary upset of the undefeated ’07 Pats (remember, Tabula?) with heavy pressure from the defensive line. This time around he doesn’t have talent there but he does have some in the secondary. So he’s come up with a dime package that uses 6(!) db’s. He runs that D 44% of the time as opposed to the league average of 10%. Wherever the playmakers are, he plays to their strengths and finds a way to be effective. Much respect to that fella.
-Bucs dl Vita Vea was one of only two interior lineman that had a 20%+ pass rush success rate before he went down with an injury. This matters because…
-After losing Eric Fisher in the AFC Title Game, the Chiefs now only have one offensive lineman that they started week 1 with. (center Austin Reiter)
-Cb Carlton Davis had a nightmare last evening. It involved re-living his week 12 debacle vs. Tyreek Hill when he gave up 203 yards receiving in a little over 15 minutes. Since Mahomes became the starter Hill has 19 TD’s on passes thrown over 20 yards-that’s 6 more than the next guy.
-A difference maker goes by the name of Honey Badger-during the win over the Browns he allowed -5 yards receiving and an interception on 6 targets.
-The Bucs D has allowed the least number of rushing TD’s in the entire league at a measly 12. Dalvin Cook was the only dude that ran for over 100 yards against them and he barely accomplished it at 102.
-In all of Patty’s playoff games he has 21 TD’s combined and only 2 INT’s. Tom Brady sucks dog’s balls on a regular basis.
Scritch that itch in the comments.
10 year old me called these FG “field dildos”
Hehe. Buttger hehehe his name is butt.
That’s early, but no flag!
If the Bucs win which finger will JPP wear his ring on?
Finger?
His neck
His dick.
Both of them.
*sigh*
Younger me would be totally disgusted at Old Man Pirate turning the SB off at halftime. If only I could explain to Younger Pirate that
pretending to be left handed during a sword fight is just being an assholeyou’re in for many years of suffering by remaining a football fan, just walk away now.Brady is gonna be handed his 3,293,450,456 Super Bowl ring and I can’t be bothered enough to care.
Feels like we’re gonna have a Chiefs holding penalty soon.
If I remember right, they like the Oilers and the Packers.
And the Bears.
I still HATE the superb owl logo.
We all do
They really need to go back to the cool designs
What? I think this Super Bowl LIV logo is kind of nice!
LiV, LaF, LuV
What, just because they give exactly zero shits that the lombardi trophy looks exactly like a roman numeral and therefore it’s completely the wrong number?
The “L”could have been a palm tree and the “V” could have been easily the front of a pirate ship.
Russel Wilson looking hungover AF
That’s the look of a man who needs some Nanobubbles.
Macklemore: “Whose hangover is that?”
You’d be too if you had to hang out with Rog
I feel seen
Never forget
It was clearly the strawberries. ALL THE STRAWBERRIES!
And he had IODINE in his salt! HOW DID HE SURVIVE?!
Stick tuned for my
conspiracytheory video that the real Tom Brady took over for Avril Lavigne when she died in 2005, and the current “Tom Brady” is actually a collection of men genetically engineered by the Rand Corporation.I bet he’s completely smooth in the pubely region, just like my Ken doll.
Time to see if my dad survived the Halftime Show.
Service Jobs: The Game Show! Where every worker wins a guaranteed 40 hour shift!
Fully: GET BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY ASS LOSER!
Hey, that’s how GameStop got to hundreds of dollars per share!
Maybe Silence Of The Lambs Sans Hannibal can be the new Garfield Minus Garfield
(Hears “minus Garfield”)
“You’re right!”
-Charles Guiteau
Quality pull there
Also what they said about Charles’ finger on the trigger that day.
So when do they drop the twist and this becomes entertaining?
I have a sneaking suspicion that my student, who’s asked me for the chords of “Blinding Lights” so he can ignore me, is going to ask if that was the greatest halftime show ever and if I’m jealous about not being one of the air violinists.
You can trick him by giving him the chords for “Blinded by the Light.”
I do. Every week. And then he continues to do nothing.
We need another In Living Color Halftime Show.
Two Snaps and a Circle!!!
All the support people are going to be retroactively happy they had masks on so no one recognizes they were a part of this terrible show.
fuck you pepsi, go to hell
Cherry Pepsi or STFU
Is rather see the Chek Cola halftime staring the emitt otter jug band
At least they tried to immolate Michael Jackson.
First time I remember ever being glad the Weeknd was over.
Is it pronounced like weekend, or weakened? I need to know which is wrong so I can use it like an old fogey.
Weak-nad
Weekend
It’s pronounced “wee Keds”
“Weened”. The “kn” is pronounced like it is with “knife.”
https://twitter.com/i/status/1358587484746248194
He’s just such a royal bitchqueef.
Do hate.
When Mathieu does it: “TAUNTING!”
When Brady does it: “Just havin’ fun.”
Kinda like the Capitol insurgent’s treatment vs the treatment of the BLM protestors.
I’m glad they managed the incredibly easy task of incorporating decent masks into a costume
You know they brainstormed some other abomination….
One never knows what the future holds but I’d say it’s safe to announce that this is not the greatest Super Bowl halftime show of all time.
He’s no Up With People.
Don’t make me drop my Up With People mad beats again!
You get that remix tape I sent?
No, but I am all in!
January 21st: The Weeknd has tested positive for the newest mutant strain of COVID-19
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=amR6-neQBPE
I don’t like this remake of The Wall
If this halftime taught me one thing, it’s that The Weeknd is short.
Wait, I already knew that.
He’s doing his best to make it seem longer
Hey Weaselo, why didn’t you get called up for this one?? String players need a boost!
I don’t know, probably because I’m not in Tampa, but they’re not good bow holds.
Even I, a mediocre double bassist, could see that.
Those are not good bow holds.
Daughter just said the same. I guess you string nerds know best.
lol I’m gonna ask my friend the viola player on that one
THANK YOU
still my favorite SB halftime moment, just for sheer unexpectedness:
thats ROCKING
Didn’t she take a tumble during hers? That might just be wishful memory.
I don’t think so.
she did a cartwheel that was memorable as how “un-spry” she looked
I didn’t know Key and Peele were in a halftime show!
On tonight’s very special episode, Young Sheldon gets raped by the gym teacher and his dog. Tonight at eight, seven central, only here on CBS.
Bazinga!
Special guest star: Jim “Gym” Jordan.
Is senior playing there?
is he actually popular with the youths or just A&R failsons who think this is what the youths like?
‘Youths’
Very popular with the youths
My son liked him about 6 years ago, which seems about the right amount of time for the Super Bowl to catch on to him.
Is the Weekend just black Maroon 5?
Dunno who got burnt more, but someone did.
Springsteen crotch is better than this.
?zoom=2
Its on brand that he’s signing about drugs at half time
Did they not hire a sound engineer for this?
this is NOT ROCKING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7OTZMopkUg
“The Weekend” is like the Pat Boone of 2021.
Except I’d just like the Weeknd to leave the stage, not die horrifically.
The Weeknd dancers doing the KC Secondary Nass stumble.
Are those jock straps on their faces?
Well, the refs are currently sniffing Brady’s.
Who’s driving the camera, Rob Bironas?
too soon – Britt Reid
Blame Cannda
Which one is left shark?
Currently pining for left shark.
Could use another Butthead appearance.
“Uhhhhhh…this sucks.”
Hehe, you said butt. And suck. Hehe.
Here ya go
https://youtu.be/Hbw8UMcqUJ4
Beavis, but whatevs
And to pile it on, my PCB manufacturer of choice website appears to be down. Could this night get any worse?
Don’t tempt fate. It can always get worse.
Nice that the backup dancers are wearing disposable plastic suits and safety goggles while social distancing in cubes