The DFO Mock Draft, Chapter The First

One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday.  Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated into arguments with strangers over who would be the best Saturday cartoon character to have sex with, (and there’s Chapter 2), or some other equally inane topic, all of which were still more important than that TPS report deadline your boss was yelling about.  Good times.

Well, it’s been long enough.  After a discussion in the back channels yours truly is bringing it back, with some slight rule changes.  The old site had 4-5 main contributors, one of whom may not have been real.  So they’d do 2-3 rounds themselves, then kick it to the kommentariat to draft whatever was left over.  You can do that when you’ve only taken 10-15 of whatever topic was up for drafting.  We, however, are a much more connected group when it comes to the writin’ and draftin’ of things, so if we did that we’d easily take out 30-50 before we threw the bedraggled leftovers to our beloved readership.  That’s no fun.

So these drafts, which I expect to last as long as I remember to do them, (2-3 weeks), will just leap right into it.  Yours in the comments, first come, first served.  For now, please wait 10 picks before making another one.  That will be revised up or down depending on how much participation we get, which I hope will be a lot.

This weeks topic:  FAVORITE SANDWICHES

Hoo-boy, is this seemingly benign topic a veritable Pandora’s Box of controversy!  Is a hot dog a sandwich?  What is a taco?  Where do we put dumplings?  If I stack one lasagna on top of another lasagna have I created a gourmet sandwich, or a crime against humanity only slightly worse than genocide?  As far as this mock draft goes, no one cares;  if you think it’s a sandwich, and you love it with all of your clogged-artery-riddled heart, then go for it.  Add pictures to whet our appetites!  But feel free to mock, (see what I did there), the choices and logic of others and their silly-ass ideas as to what constitutes a sandwich.  Good naturedly, of course.

As the author of this little opus, I award myself the first pick, as well as 5 comely lasses.  Let’s go to this topic’s Commissioner and get this started!

With the 1st pick, in the favorite sandwich mock draft, Horatio Cornblower selects….

The Brisket Reuben from BT’s Smokehouse in Sturbridge, MA.

It’s got brisket, it’s got Swiss cheese, it’s got homemade slaw, it’s got some kind of sauce, all on toasted bread, and it has my heart, quite possibly literally, because this thing is undoubtedly as bad for you as it is tasty, and it is goddamn delicious.  Please note that they have not paid me to say this, but I would take their money if they did.

Yours in the comments, but just know that I’ve already won.