Your “Selection Sunday” Evening Open Thread

The obvious highlight of the evening will be arguing about who is & isn’t in the NCAA tournament. It will take James Brown & Company about two hours to read off 64 team names, more if they actually have the play-in games HOLY SHIT, they are. The play-in, or “First Four” games are on Thursday, and then the first round goes Friday-Monday. There’s no chance a COVID outbreak doesn’t get brought into the arena by some water boy or one of Indianapolis’ finest mouthbreathing Pence voters.

That would appear to be the most ludicrous proposition of the tournament, but then Michigan State went ahead this week & renamed their program, “MSU Spartans Presented by Rocket Mortgage”, and logo’d up Tom Izzo like a NASCAR driver.

But it’s a fucking sin if the players get paid.

Of course, there are a number of prop bets to be had for such an event:

  • How will the NCAA collude to get Duke in?
  • It’s been more than 40 years since John Wooden. Why is UCLA considered ‘relevant’?
  • Gonzaga vs Notre Dame – who is more Catholic?
  • No Cameron Crazies? But how will I know the rich are wating their youth?
  • Could any of these teams beat the T-wolves?
  • Given all the journalists attending, will they run out of gravy in Indianapolis?
  • In honour of Seamus – will U*NC have more players on COVID or academic suspension?
  • Seriously, how can they have a tourney without Coach K?

All I know is that my arse will be on a couch Friday morning praying there’s a huge upset, so I can hear Hippo gleefully laughing all the way up here in Canada.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NCAA:
    • Selection show – 6:00pm | CBS
  • NHL:
    • Toronto vs Ottawa – 7:00pm | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • San Antonio vs Philadelphia – 6:30pm | NBATV / Sportsnet1
    • Toronto vs Chicago – 9:00pm | TSN4
    • LA Clippers vs New Orleans – 9:00pm | ESPN / Sportsnet1
  • Curling:
    • Brier Final – 8:30pm | TSN

Get to the bickering!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Dunstan

Me eating Thai food: “It’s papaya salad. How hot can salad be?”

Me soon after:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dOsbsuhYGQ

SonOfSpam
blaxabbath

Is it really the First Four without ASU in a play-in game?

SonOfSpam

It’s cool they have a player named Remy Martin.

They should have another named Busch Ice.

Fronkenshteen

Thanks guys.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What did we do?

Fronkenshteen

Honored my buddy. You’re the best.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy fuck just read down. Horrible. This beer is for Grubby.

Gumbygirl

I burned one for Grubby. And tWBS. Shine on.

Dunstan

Cocktail report:

2 oz. Bombay gin
3/4 oz lemon juice
1/2 oz. St. Germain elderflower liqueur
1/2 oz. Campari
1/2 oz. rosemary simple syrup (just simple syrup with a fresh sprig of rosemary steeped for 30 minutes)
fresh rosemary sprig for garnish

Me likey.

SonOfSpam

Whole Elderlotta Gin Rosie

Dunstan

I may change the name, but for tonight it’s The Grubby

SonOfSpam

No argument here. Pound the Grubby.

Gumbygirl

That’s a nice tribute! I saw earlier on the Gravy, which was fucking outstanding, by the way, a last year comment section that had Seamus in it, hard still to believe he’s gone.

Sharkbait

Yeah that sounds excellent

Dunstan

Another variant that works — swap out the St. Germain for Domaine de Canton ginger liqueur, and add a 1/2 oz of Giffard’s Pamplemousse (my new toy — also, I learned that in French, Pamplemousse, aside from being the word for grapefruit, is also a common euphemism for breasts).

I don’t usually believe in putting this many ingredients in a cocktail but I think it works.

Sharkbait

I have most of those things!

Dunstan

Let me know if you come up with any improvements! I’m sure that grapefruit juice could sub for the Giffards, though you’d want to reduce the lemon juice

blaxabbath

Good god. I looked up that MSU thing.

The violence has to come. We’ve reached the point where they’re just looking you in the eye, picking your pocket and rubbing their disgusting hands with filthy fingertips up your wife’s cootch, and giving you a shit eating ‘why even bother complaining? There will never be anything you can do — and you know it and I know it and the lady I’m carving an infection into right now knows it.”

ballsofsteelandfury

What happened?

ballsofsteelandfury

/ reads article

Oh, the usual.

blaxabbath

EXACTLY!

ballsofsteelandfury

Hot Fuzz is such a fun movie

SonOfSpam

Yes, everyone should see it for the greater good.

Sharkbait

The greater good

clint greasewood

The Grammys

Dunstan

Now THAT’s a joke.

Sharkbait

What did Bill Burr do? He’s trending on twitter for some reason

Dunstan

Without looking, I’m guessing he said something DARING that has the SNOWFLAKES trying to CANCEL him.

(I think Burr is talented and enjoy some of his stuff, but I wish he’d not base his entire routine around this shtick.)

SonOfSpam

I believe he announced the winner of one of the Latin categories and butchered the names because GET IT THE NAMES ARE FUNNY HA HA

He can be funny, but I find him to be mostly a choad. (chode?)

Dunstan

“But Bill has clearly said that he likes fucking Latina women, so he clearly can’t be prejudiced!”

blaxabbath

With all the nobodies making up this year’s bracket, I expected Dartmouth Regional Vocational School to at least get a play in game.

Sharkbait

I’m just here for the upsets that fuck over everyone’s brackets

Don T

0 lies: the White Whale of a boxing promoter.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Go flick yourself”? Wait, is he saying that they’re a bunch of boogers?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That most recent edit? That was me, updating to reflect the fact that DUKE WON’T BE PLAYING IN THE POSTSEASON THIS YEAR.

https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=List_of_Duke_Blue_Devils_men%27s_basketball_seasons&action=history

Dunstan

Wait, the committee didn’t bullshit a way for them to play?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nope, and they turned their nose up at the NIT.

blaxabbath

Thanks Byedon

Fronkenshteen

Hey! Could youze guys pour one out for my friend, Grubby? Died yesterday after a Percocet he’d bought for his back pain turned out to be Fentanyl. Hooray American health care! Anyway, he was fat, could cook like a summamuhbitch, and could take a punch like Marvin fucking Hagler. There’s a manhunt going on right now for the motherless fuck who poisoned him, but shit, our friend is never gonna be not dead, so who gives a shit, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt5OZJ1LrbQ

litre_cola

Absolutely. That is fucking rough.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, I’m really sorry to hear that. Sorry for your loss, and fuck that skunk who poisoned him.

This beer is for Grubby.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[pours one out]

Viva La Tabula Raza

Done and double done…

Sharkbait

Fuck man. Sorry to hear.

Fuck that guy. I hope they get him

ballsofsteelandfury

Fuck dude, that’s horrible. Sorry to hear that.

Gumbygirl

Sorry, that sucks. Happened to a guy I went to high school with. PSA: There have been zero recorded deaths from marijuana overdoses.

Dunstan

“CHALLENGE ACCEPTED” — 90% of DFO

Gumbygirl

Oh believe me, I have tried!

SonOfSpam

Sorry brother Fronk. This one’s for Grubby.

And fentanyl dealers can just go to all the hells.

WCS

Just got here now. My God, my sincere condolences. I wish I could do more; hang in there.

King Hippo

NIT Selection Show TIME!!!

King Hippo

NC State is IN, Dook is OUT

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nits!
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Forgot it was pi day but pretty pleased with the donuts we picked up.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I got a couple of fruit-filled tacos, by which I mean hand pies.

King Hippo

ah don’t think teh Dr. Mrs. wud approve of yew stickin’ your hands in multiple pies

Horatio Cornblower

Look, it would be rude not to eat her pie.
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SonOfSpam

hopefully not flaky

Gumbygirl

Related:

facebook_1615772205096_6777039822923517013_35686067724353.jpg
litre_cola

Fruit sandwiches? – The Maestro

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A regular pie is a fruit sandwich. A hand pie is a fruit taco.

litre_cola

Which by his definition is a sandwich as well. An ethnic sandwich.

Sharkbait

Even Fallout 4 is chiming in on this nonsense:
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

See my definition of an ethnic sandwich is a bit different. Like a Heather Chandler / Veronica Sawyer sort of thing. But, you know, one of them is Turkish and the other is Colombian.

litre_cola

Your ideas are intriguing to me. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Horatio Cornblower

One of the more successful seasons for Baylor, in that no one has murdered a teammate.

ballsofsteelandfury

Or raped a coed.

Of course, no one has been on campus for awhile, so….

King Hippo

No REPORTED rapes = no problems in Waco!

/still, they’ll be the good guys against U*NC

Horatio Cornblower

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Still the second-worst thing to happen in Waco, behind the Baylor athletic program.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
ballsofsteelandfury

Weren’t they all a bunch of cultists? I’m not sure that’s a big loss…

blaxabbath

Yeah. Cultists are kind of already dead when they wake up every morning.

Gumbygirl

Meh. Both are waaaay behind Fixer Upper. Shiplap is the devil’s decor!

scotchnaut

“Mastering The Bubble: The Gut-Wrenching Story of SillyCuse These Last Few Years.”

Horatio Cornblower

They got in, but drawing San Diego didn’t do them any favoUrs.

King Hippo

Bet the under in that fixture, whatever it may be.

Horatio Cornblower

Mark Few talking about how they’re just blessed to be there and have an “attitude of gratitude”, and now I just want them to get smoked in the first round.

litre_cola

You should get Western Washington TV affiliates……

Horatio Cornblower

Just taking it day by day and celebrating every victory we get, no matter how small.

Gonzaga is an AA meeting.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As opposed to the DD meeting currently taking place at Gazongas U.

Horatio Cornblower

I bet Gazongas U has a prickly Dean who needs to be taken down.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Are you sure he didn’t say they have an “attitude of RAT-itude” and are going to emulate Coach K’s teams?

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

University of Hartford finally makes it to the tournament, and it’s the year everyone’s locked in hotels in Indianapolis, the Hartford of the Mid-West.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fat Hartford.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hart(disease)ford

litre_cola

Top 5 footy scarves I own is the Hartford one you sent! Go U of H fighting…… Hawks?!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s right, the Hartford Hawks! My mom was a professor there for a little while.

Horatio Cornblower

I “studied” for the bar on their “campus”

litre_cola

But Jameis is believed to be the number 1

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, that is a terrible contract.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Are you listening, Jesus?”
—Tim Tebow

Redshirt

So which of the First Four Teams out are gonna send a bunch of COVID-19 Positive Prostitutes to one of the teams that made the Dance?

Horatio Cornblower

Louisville. Clearly the most experienced at this sort of thing.

King Hippo

Clark Kellogg barely speaks English. Why is he still employed in broadcasting?

King Hippo

There’s only one team I have to hate-vengeance root against, and they’d play the best team in the country in Round 2.

King Hippo

Now let’s see who’s in the “holding pen” of first 4 out!

King Hippo

NAWT DOOK WOO!!!!!

ArmedandHammered

Duke will be an 8 seed (not watching the selection)

Redshirt

Ohio State basketball team is getting Oral? I thought they closed the 8th Floor to the Main Library because of that.

ArmedandHammered

OSU always gets oral from the media.

Redshirt

At least until they play a SEC school, the media goes home to daddy.

ArmedandHammered

Hopefully Dickie V. finally has that aneurysm which finally kills him during a game I am watching. He is on the list of people I want to see dead before I eventually die myself.

King Hippo

That would be awesome baby!

ArmedandHammered

Even better as he is calling a Duke game and is during his usual Coach K ball gargling.

Horatio Cornblower

He’s been on 1 minute and is ball-gargling the committee, although to give him some credit he then criticized them for leaving out Belmont.

Redshirt

Why are they still calling Directional quadrants if they’re playing in one city? They can use the Interstates that go into Indianapolis (65, 69, 70, 74) and use the Destination Cities as the 1st and 2nd rounds games so it feels as normal as possible (Chicago, Louisville, Evansville, Ft. Wayne, St. Louis, Dayton, Peoria, Cincinnati).

King Hippo

they know how Murrikans feel about change?

Redshirt

But we could’ve had a 69 Quadrant! With all the shit we’ve gone through, we all needed that.

ArmedandHammered

Do you really want to see anything associated with a 69 in Indianapolis?

King Hippo

Next, on Gravy Or Doo-doo Butter!

Redshirt

Based on the slow-ass-shit construction of I-69 from Evansville, INDOT doesn’t.

ArmedandHammered

I am amazed they are actually going to have an interstate designated that. Did Trump have Gronk appointed as some sort of transportation secretary?

Redshirt

I know. It matches the proper format (odd number=north/south, inbetween 65 and 75 (at least until they decided to send it to Texas)), but 67 and 73 were available.

King Hippo

Huzzah, U*NC gets an ejector seat!

Redshirt

Drew Brees retires after 20 seasons in NFL: ‘This is not goodbye, rather a new beginning’ – CBSSports.com

Much like what he proved with teammates kneeling for the anthem, he is continuing to show he don’t understand the concept of “right time and right place”.

ArmedandHammered

Is Fox news going to have him host a sports segment?

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Viva La Tabula Raza

They’ll probably hire him as a financial wizard to take Lou Dobbs’ place over at Fox Business News.

Horatio Cornblower

Is he still involved with Advo? Because if so, perfect fit.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s what I was thinking of…

Redshirt

Give us a #1 vs #1 First Four Game, you cowards!!!

King Hippo

Would be nice if they just seeded by blind draw, like the FA Cup

Redshirt

I was hoping OSU/Illinois would’ve gone to OT2 so the entire country would’ve had to wait to see who would be seeded #2 and #3.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Another reminder: today is Pi(e) Day!
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Redshirt

I would post my contribution to Pie Day, but per current NSFW policy, it is verboten.

Redshirt

“I don’t think there’s a better city than Indianapolis to host the entire Tournament. There is always civic pride with the city.”

I have to disagree on this one. When I drive up there from Cincinnati, its like there is no suburbs and it goes from rural to urban as soon as you reach the city bypass. Almost as if Interstate 74 itself is embarrassed to be associated with Indianapolis.

King Hippo

also its hardley Wichita amirite???

Viva La Tabula Raza

All I can really remember about my travels up US 31 from IND to Grissom Air Reserve Base was that half the billboards were sponsored by churches and religious organizations. The boot of Jesus rests heavily upon the neck of rural Indiana.

Redshirt

Indiana country is basically Ohio and Kentucky country, except without Ohio’s peacefulness and Kentucky’s beauty

King Hippo

Coach K is Q-Anon ,, suck it libtards!!!!11111

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you realize he’s got every single letter in the alphabet in his last name *except* Q, it should have been obvious that it was him all along.

King Hippo

dUe teh mAthS

Redshirt

Never thought I would be a position to defend Q-Anon, but the 20s is already one fucked up decade.