The Draft is next Thursday! [DFO] will be your Open Thread headquarters, so tell your friends.
NFL Notes:
- It’s “New Rules” Day:
- Replay will now involve “consultation” between the refs of the field and the booth in New York.
- In technical terms, the authority to consult with referees on certain “specific, objective aspects of a play when clear and obvious video evidence is present,” according to the language of the rule.
- This will be limited to the areas of possession, completed or intercepted passes, the location of the ball relative to the boundary or end line, and whether a player is down by contact.
- In technical terms, the authority to consult with referees on certain “specific, objective aspects of a play when clear and obvious video evidence is present,” according to the language of the rule.
- A relaxation of rules for the numbers that players of certain positions can wear because of expanded practice squads.
- Running backs, wide receivers, tight ends, defensive backs and linebackers can all wear numbers in the single digits now if they choose.
- So, quarterbacks, punters and place-kickers can wear numbers 1-19, defensive backs 1-49, and then running backs, tight ends and wide receivers 1-49 and 80-89. Offensive linemen can wear 50-79, defensive linemen 50-79 and 90-99, and linebackers 1-59 and 90-99.
- Fun fact: based on preexisting NFL rules, players who want to change their numbers this season will have to buy out the inventory of the NFL’s manufacturing partners.
- To avoid this, they have to announce a number change one year prior to the season where they want to do so.
- Running backs, wide receivers, tight ends, defensive backs and linebackers can all wear numbers in the single digits now if they choose.
- Approved a one-year experiment in an attempt to make it easier to recover onside kicks.
- In 2021, the receiving team on kickoffs will be limited to nine players within 25 yards of the ball.
- They eliminated overtime in preseason games.
- They changed a rule that will now force a loss of down if two passes are completed behind the line of scrimmage.
- They approved a rule change that ensures the enforcement of all accepted penalties during successive try attempts, defined as an opportunity for a team to score one or two additional points during a one-scrimmage down.
- I think that means no “fifteen yards will be added to the kickoff”, but the language is confusing to me.
- I think that means no “fifteen yards will be added to the kickoff”, but the language is confusing to me.
- They’ve decided to focus on taunting for the 2021 season.
- They will focus on “acrimonious interactions” between players.
- Touchdown & other such celebrations will still be allowed, so long as there is no aspect of the celebration that involves provoking the other team.
- Replay will now involve “consultation” between the refs of the field and the booth in New York.
- Reaction has been swift on the jersey numbers front:
- Tom Brady doesn’t like it.
- “Good luck trying to block the right people now!!!!”
- He actually included the four exclamation points in the original tweet.
- He doubled-down later, with the Instagram note on the right some reporter helpfully clipped.
- I’m guessing he fears regressing to that dorky kid who was barely drafted out of Michigan.
- “Good luck trying to block the right people now!!!!”
- Jalen Ramsey loves it.
- So much so that I predict a future [DFO] article referencing it.
- Tom Brady doesn’t like it.
Lol nah me & bro working together to figure this thang out 🤟🏾 https://t.co/1UKpwpOBP4
— Jalen Ramsey (@jalenramsey) April 21, 2021
Oh, and the new schedule will be released on May 12, in a LIVE! special on the NFL Network.
Sad news today as Les McKeown of the Bay City Rollers died, aged 75.
Considered one of the first true “boy bands”, because they were all between 16-21 when they formed the group – they were one of the biggest international acts between 1975-78. However, they were controlled by a manager – Tam Paton – who not only prevented them from accessing their royalties, but allegedly used drugs to keep the band dependent upon him and to attempt sexual assaults on them. What wasn’t alleged but proven was that he was a sort of Scottish Jimmy Savile, hiding in plain sight. In 1982, he was jailed for three years after pleading guilty to molesting 10 boys over a three-year period.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrkNoWIho_M
The Bay City Rollers sold more than 120 million records in the 1970s, and alleged Paton deprived them of up to £50m in royalties. They sued Arista Records in 2007 over unpaid royalties they were promised. Paton died in 2009, and to spite the Rollers left his estate – valued at £2.9 million – to charity. After nine years of legal battles they settled with Arista/Sony in 2016 for $3.5 million, with each band member getting just over $100,000.
There were personal troubles for McKeown, as he killed a 76 year-old woman while driving in Edinburgh in 1978. Despite allegations of excessive speed, he was only found guilty of reckless driving. He was fined £100 and banned from driving for a year. McKeown claimed in numerous interviews over the years that the guilt over the incident never left him, and was a big part of his alcoholism.
RIP, you magnificent Scottish bastard.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Toronto vs Winnipeg – 7:00pm | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Phoenix vs Boston – 7:00pm | TSN
- Philadelphia vs Milwaukee – 7:00pm | TNT / Sportsnet360
- LA Lakers vs Dallas – 9:30pm | TNT / TSN
- MLB:
- No national broadcasts without MLBN
It’s Sexy tomorrow night, so I’ll see you cats on the weekend.
Insight (GAMBLOR tips) re: the 5:50 a.m. Aussie Rules football match please. Insomniac looking to wager, here.
Car Movies:
Two-Lane Blacktop (1971) d. Monte Hellman
Gone in 60 Seconds (1974) d. Toby Halicki (not the horrible 2000 remake)
The cinema of Robert Altman:
MASH (1970) the movie not the horrible TV show
The Long Goodbye (1973)
Nashville (1975)
(In fact, if you want a great triple feature, watch The Big Sleep (1946) with Humphrey Bogart, The Long Goodbye (1973) with Elliott Gould, and The Big Lebowski (1998) with Jeff Bridges. The character is detective Philip Marlowe as the father (Bogart), the son (Gould), and the younger son (Bridges).
An interesting perspective. Sold.
The Big Sleep was based on the book; The Long Goodbye was based on The Big Sleep; The Big Lebowski was based on The Big Sleep and The Long Goodbye.
The major plot points are very similar in all three, including a very convoluted plot.
The Long Goodbye is great. There’s a cameo by David Carradine as Marlowe’s cellmate and a young Arnold Schwarzenegger as a bodyguard. Schwarzenegger has no lines because what little English he spoke at the time was so thickly accented no one could understand him.
I think i may have eaten too much cheese today
Lies.
I’m so sick of being positive.
Can’t you be a miscreant in the survey?
-Covid patients in India
The tests came back, eh? Sorry about that, man. Just be sure to finish the entire scrip of antibiotics…
1895 gun violence: https://timesmachine.nytimes.com/timesmachine/1895/04/23/103365510.html?pageNumber=16
Feeling cute, might delete later
Sing a song of sixpence,
A pocket full of rye.
Four and twenty blackbirds,
Baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened
The birds began to sing;
Wasn’t that a dainty dish,
To set before the king.
In case you’re interested, the second vaccine is a doddle.
Piece of fucking cake.
Fully vaccinated Mon!
Hell I’m even going to work and everything!
Congrats!
Thank you. What a fucking year.
This guy’s good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KcgiWkM9EQ&feature=youtu.be
Too far down to scroll.
Three Kings
Jarhead
Saving Private Ryan
I let my kids watch pretty much anything except torture porn. “Yeah, go ahead and watch ‘Porky’s’, but don’t even think about Saw 8.”
(they’re now in their 20’s and neither seems to be a psychopath, so it must have worked. Hooray for shit parenting!)
You are a good dad. I have a creepy nephew who loooooves to watch a good girl getting tortured and dismembered flick. He’s over 30 now. We are all shocked they haven’t discovered any victims yet. Probably because he’s too fat and lazy, but the potential has always been there.
Seven Samurai, Vanishing Point
Oh bourbon; why are you so delicious?
I put flea goo on my cat yesterday. He’s still acting like it was Zyklon B or something.
As long as the fleas are acting like it’s Zyklon B.
I hope so. He’s scratching himself so much it’s drawing blood, poor guy.
Did the same with ours. They fucking hate it. I suspect it must burn or something.
Probably, but given the choice, I’d rather be a little scorched than crawling with bugs. Try explaining that to the cat!
Domesticated animals, much like many humans, have a poor grasp of cause and effect
But a VERY well developed sense of revenge!
No kidding. When we got our older cat she had been found in the woods with a litter of kittens and covered with fleas and ticks. We got her cleaned up, dipped her in a flea bath, and she was so grateful that she pissed all over the house and now lives outside full-time in what is essentially an insulated split-level cat ranch that I put together for her.
She rarely deigns to let any of us pet her, but she’s always there at meal time.
How do you insult a cat with a split-level ranch? Shitty shag carpet color selection?
popcorn ceilings
Harvest gold appliances.
As well as a great memory for past transgressions…
When they lie there, staring at you, and all of a sudden their eyes get slitted…it’s time to vamoose, papoose! They are remembering some shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPxN6zcLtPQ
I’m thinking Full Metal Jacket is a more quotable Vietnam film than Apocalypse Now, although both have plenty of solid quotes
“What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that? Is that a jelly donut in your foot locker Private Pyle?”
“Now this is 10” of pure Alabama black snake, but it is not ‘too boku'”
I want that latrine so clean the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in there and take a dump.
Great quotable lines in both, but nothing surpasses Kilgore’s “Smells Like Victory” soliloquy there on the beach. Charlie don’t surf.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bossv8SKXv4
I used to show that whole scene in class.
Problem was you were teaching 3rd grade at the time.
” I AM.
IN A WORLD.
OF SHIT!
“How can you kill women and children?”
“It’s easy. You just don’t lead ’em so much!
Ain’t war hell?”
I now get ktla on my teevee. There are a lot of lawyer ads. Especially during Maury who know has psychics on the show apparently.
Are Cal Worthington and his dog Spot still advertising from the afterlife, or via hologram at least?
“San Diego Freeway at Bellflower Boulevard!”
I don’t watch late night local TV but I’ve got a real life story where I could tell Cal to gladly fuck his dog Spot until both of them went to hell. Motherfucker sold me the biggest lemon ever.
🎵If you’re looking for a better set of wheels
I will stand upon my head to make a deal
I will stand upon my head
‘Til my ears are turning red
Go see Cal, Go see Cal, Go see Cal!🎵
Used to see those ads for some reason on the Bugs and His Buddies program mid-afternoons on weekdays. 1974-76.
I saw them in the mid 80’s when we were stationed at Bangor, WA.
Motherfucker sold me a Plymouth Acclaim. K- car remember? Looked nice enough and was definitely better than the Nissan Sentra with 200k miles that I traded in and probably broke down immediately after the mechanic took it for a drive but still.
That fucking car. I hated that fucking car. It was possessed. It decided when it wanted to run or not. I took it to the dealer so many times they got sick of me. One of the finance guys actually told me to default on the payments and let it get repossessed and they would sell me another car. Fuck you.
I traded that piece of shit in on a 1996 Chevy Cavalier. That turned out to be a 35 thousand dollar Cavalier.
Fuck Cal Worthington, fuck Spot and fuck Plymouth.
Still raw I guess.
Given all that, I gotta ask, what kind of bicycle do you ride?
I have a 1996 Ford Explorer I bought off a lease in ’98 that has now 338,000 miles on it. This morning the garage across the street put in six new Motorcraft SP486 spark plugs and that baby purrs like a kitten. The Ford Cologne 4.0L OHV V-6 (built in Germany) is one of the greatest engines ever. I will long-block this truck before I’ll buy a new car. It is in perfect shape. And you better believe it’s painted black.
We bought an Explorer in 2001, and my wife thinks it’s the best car we’ve ever had. I think its because she sits up nice and high, it has a ton of room, and it has that numeric keypad door lock. We turned it in during Cash For Clunkers, and she’s still convinced that was a mistake.
Cal wasn’t the big K problem,it was Lee Iacocca. Those were truly piece of shit cars. My brother had one, brand new, the paint started peeling off in sheets pretty much immediately.
Damn skippy
I think they were all shit back then. I had a friend who bought a new Oldsmobile Cutlass back when he was like 20 or something (had saved money for forever). It was garbage.
+1 exploding Pinto
+1 unsafe at any speed Corvair
Intellectually, I figure a Chrysler product is as good as any big-three Detroit vehicle, but my gut says, “junk.”
And then Histeria! made fun of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py8TIXzHAXk
Alternately in running gag form:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlprMbSHip8
I still prefer the Eastern Motors commercials
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6CslpftOe4
Where your job is your credit!
We’ve got the Oscars on Sunday and I’ve got a pretty good idea on winners.
That said, everyone here or who has ever participated here needs to see Another Round. Up for best director and best foreign language film.
It’s fucking spectacular and right in our goddamn wheelhouse.
Hulu only right now.
DEMON SLAYER GOT ROBBED for a Best Animated nom. Senorita Weaselo and I are seeing it Saturday.
Soul will be hard to beat. It was so damn good.
Fun fact: The guy they based the look on for Soul is a real guy. My dad’s friends with him from college. He taught at a middle school in Queens (I believe he retired last year), and I went to college with his son… who’s born on the same day as me.
That’s awesome. He was a music teacher I’m guessing?
Yes. And continuing, they rented their instruments from the place I teach at now, and there was a little nod to it with the yellow stickers.
I love every part of this.
Oh, they interviewed him on NPR!
I have 12 different types of pizza in my freezer. It’s beautiful.
The Red Baron references just keep coming!
Putting this higher up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh-J4GSPgAM&t=23s
Jeffrey Dahmer did kind of the same thing.
BOOM!
I don’t like the numbers rule. I think it should be like when I played rugby and your number was specific to your position. Why can’t all QBs be 1-3? Why does your number matter? We gonna start having punters wearing 69 just because no one can be bothered to be halfway organized?
If I were the owners, that would be a negotiation point for me in the future. I bet the players would give up a lot to keep their numeric freedoms.
(few years from now)
NFLPA President: “Good news! We can now weigh number 0 as a jersey number. Well, eligible players at least.”
Players: “What did we give up?”
NFLPA President: “NothingmuchjustPlanBFreeAgencyisback. But Number 0!”
I’d like to seem some advanced stats on whether the extra weight from a number slows a player down. Or for O-linemen, maybe you want that extra weight.
No, they’re saving #00 to keep the Salary Cap intact.
I think they should let them go wild on the numbers. Squared or cubed superscripts, Imaginary numbers, differential equations, algebraic formulae. It would make calling the game interesting.
https://quizizz.com/_media/quizzes/daf0cc13-90b2-47f0-877a-13228c547251_200_200
And provide YEARS worth of material to numerologist conspiracy theorists!
“There is no foul for Ineligible Receiver Downfield. The player was wearing #googol and not #googolplex.”
irrationals would make things MOAR challenging for the Chinese knockoffs, yeah?
Personal foul, number i.
Now, now, let’s be rational.
Plan B free agency is the one where your free agency is aborted once the team owner has a night to think about it, right?
It should be illegal for bread, the humble grain!, to have as many calories as it does.
Indeed. Doubly so for beer.
AndyMickyArt Rooney voice: “Ya ever wonder why they call em stouts?”“Beer is proof that God loves us, and wants us to be
happyfat.”You say that now but wait until civilization breaks down and we all share a 16th century diet…
But then we’d have all sorts of bugs and critters in the flour supply to provide extra protein and chitin.
And who can say no to more chitin.
I like the onside kick rule. I think kicking team formations for the kickoffs should be very rigid with specific limitations so you have more like a baseball infield that has individual shifts and motions but is never unrecognizable (I was going to say just a normal offense but ever since the Colts were allowed to do that embarrassing punt whatever, I’m not actually sure what the line rules are).
Anyways, the reason I think that is because I think it would promote more interesting onside kick attempts because now you’re forced to set 1:1 or 2:2 matchups so it’s like something you game plan rather than just sending out the hands team to charge into a Braveheart battle for the ball (which actually would be my dream choice if NFL didn’t stand for No Fun League).
Demolition Man is on? Decilitre needs to get over here. Its learnin time.
That’s a nice post idea. Which uncensored R-rated or PG-13 movies that kids need to see when they are mature enough.
“The Blues Brothers” and “Ghostbusters” are on my list.
Blazing Saddles
(kicking myself for forgetting that)
“Young Frankenstein”
“Spaceballs”
Basically any Mel Brooks movie
All the Monty Python movies, Rocky Horror
Oh, and Repo Man of course
Ha! Beetcha by one minute! I’m gonna go get a Drink!
“Nice friends.”
“Thanks. I made ’em myself.”
Look, a metal hand!
Slap Shot. It’s about teamwork & respecting tradition.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHMi-j7W2gM
Will accept!
Start with the Godfather parts 1 and 2 and I’m going anything Scorcese after that.
My grandkids are gonna grow up on the mean streets of Torrance and Claremont.
Silent Movie. Goddamn that is one enjoyable movie for any age.
Repo Man
Lebowski
Caddyshack
Animal House (has bare breasts!!!)
Any and all of the Coen Brothers movies are grandfathered in.
Terminator
The Exorcist
My parents took us to the Crest drive-in in Ridgecrest California to see the Exorcist. Full VW microbus of teenagers.
We were legendary the next day at school.
My high school Latin teacher was friends with a Catholic priest who was apparently associated with an actual exorcism that inspired the movie. Also worth visiting the stairs if you’re in DC
I grew up in Arlington and could walk to Georgetown. I’ve been very familiar with those stairs my whole life, as well as The Car Barn that they’re next to. I gotta lot of great Georgetown stories, from back when it was a fun place.
Let’s go loiter at the aqueducts!
My dad took me to it when it came out. I was 12 or 13. When she peed on the rug during her mother’s cocktail party, we both started to giggle, and we did the rest of the way.
Story time with Internet Dad – when I was in high school, I was assigned a story for the school newspaper to read The Joy Luck Club and watch the newly released movie, and compare and contrast the two. (Our newspaper sucked.) This was at the same time that Demolition Man came out, and watching that was all I wanted to do.
Anyway, I was actually too young to see The Joy Luck Club, rated R (???) so a parent had to take me. My mother, who would have enjoyed it, was stuck taking my sister somewhere, dance or somesuch, and so my dad took me. This was the worst thing that I had ever done to my father, including running his car into the side of the garage, running over his landscaping lights with the mower, and losing the mower down the hill in our backyard and into the creek.
The movie was so boring that he immediately fell asleep. As I stayed awake trying to take notes, the film miraculously broke, flipping the top and bottom of the picture. Making things worse, we had to hear the explosions and gunfire from the next theater, playing Demolition Man. We were able to limp our way through the movie, and the theater gave us free tickets to see another movie. My dad, in one of the coolest things he’s ever done, gave me the free tickets so my buddy and me could see Demolition Man, making my summer.
I wrote a long review that was essentially a treatise on how the concept of the article was terrible and the movie was worse, was not published and was then kicked off of the newspaper staff but not told about it, and when I showed up the next year they made me change my schedule, so that was fun.
Anyhoo, Demolition Man is awesome.
Nice. +1 of the 3 shells.
I think I had the exact same assignment for English class, where that actually makes sense. At least your dad got a nice nap!
His super power. He can nap anywhere to this day.
I did a paper in freshman composition comparing and contrasting Conrad’s Heart of Darkness with Coppola’s Apocalypse Now. I was able to quote one of Sheen’s lines and I think it was the only time in my college career that I was able to use the word “fucking” in a paper. The instructor was a cool young dude that was half Nick Nolte and half Bill Murray. I got an A+!!! Last time ever.
I wrote that exact same paper as a freshman in college! We even had movie night on campus with Apocalypse Now, which I took a date too, and was not a great idea.
GF of mine bailed at about a third of the way through. And that was the original, not Redux.
Redux is an abomination. The original 1979 version is the only version.
Only watched Redux once, have to agree.
That goddamn dinner scene….
If you watch the excellent documentary Hearts of Darkness about the shooting of the film in the Philippines, Coppola hated the whole plantation scene while they were filming it, yet in Redux there it is.
I wrote a paper in college, I think for World Lit before 1850 or something, about Renard the Fox. I had a quoted line about Renard pissing on someone. The paper was about the duality of the characters, animals with recognizably human traits, and the political ramifications of using said animals to make fun of the King and aristocrats in general. It was one of my favorite papers, got an A+ and a Wow! from the professor, who was a big swinging dick in medieval literature circles.
I wrote a college paper on Clerks, so I’ve used the phrase cocksmoker in a college essay.
I will have a mock draft open thread this year, just so everyone knows in advance and I don’t throw a temper tantrum like a goddamn diva like I did last year.
Maybe a completely oblivious fella won’t toss up a competing post. You never know…
(angrily deletes First Threat Ever)
WOO-HOO! Night off!
I never understood why the NFL had arbitrary number rules.
I’d bt its a relic from a time when there werent names, and also to deal with all the arcane rules about how many guys can line up on the line of scrimmage and in relation to who. Possibly inherited from rugby?
But they made sure to keep linemen the same so Bosworth has nothing to bitch about.
Last night, I saw a show on CW called Kung Fu, which meant I had to turn it there. When I did, someone was whining at her mom about something for a few minutes, so I turned it back to a cooking show. I turned it back to Kung Fu later in the show, hoping for some ass kicking. Instead, it was some dude crying and everyone moping.
They also brought back “Walker”, but without the “, Texas Ranger” and the kung fu.
So there’s the circle of shit.
“When you are able to snatch the edible and the wine glass from my hand without spilling the wine, it will be time for you to leave, grasshopper.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmfudW7rbG0
Everyone knows the original boy band was Menudo. I can’t name one song from them, but they were extremely popular.
The original boy band was The Beatles
Look, I don’t want to bring up the Beach Boys because if you say “Mike Love” three times he shows up & tries to teach you TM.
And rides your ear about how the election was stolen from Trump.
“Doug Williams is a black who plays a position long regarded as whites only.”
That archive footage may’ve been acceptable in 1980s, but I nearly hurt my neck with a double-take when I heard it today.
They are now pulling the race card in the 30-for-30. I may have to switch channels. My riffing of this special is threatening to go to a dark place. Pun not intended.
“I could only get 3/5 of the way through it, myself”
-Jerry Richardson
If you want to get prepare for the Gaslighting History Rewriting that will be done in about three years when Donald Trump runs for President again, the Michael Vick 30-for-30 special is on.
I’m responding to every good thing he/they say with “But you ran a dogfighting ring!”
At least you got to use his/their proper pronouns.
It should make the 30 for 30 on “Whip It” kind of interesting.
Pretty selfish of Elliott to cost the Hurl Scouts their second place finish.
“A Dog-Fighting ring? Go on…”
-The Red Baron
We don’t get enough The Red Baron jokes around here.
“So Trump’s kid decides he wants to look more like his Dad but gets stuck in a tanning booth…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh-J4GSPgAM&t=23s
Wow. Sounds like Lou Pealman used Tam Paton’s “career” as a template. Yech.
quarterbacks, punters and place-kickers can wear numbers 1-19, defensive backs 1-49, and then running backs, tight ends and wide receivers 1-49 and 80-89. Offensive linemen can wear 50-79, defensive linemen 50-79 and 90-99, and linebackers 1-59 and 90-99.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7Cs-VIDKSY
Be seeing you!
Rover for defensive player of the year