[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

Your “Never Irrelevant; Always Irreverent” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

, ,

Next week is Day Three of the NFL Draft, and you all know what that means,

who will be this year’s Mr. Irrelevant?

For those of you who forget until the last minute, the concept of Mr. Irrelevant dates back to 1976, when it was invented by former 49er/Colt/Stampeder/Rough Rider Paul Salata, who essentially created the event for something other than just shits & giggles:

“We established Irrelevant Week to drive home an important message – that it’s not a negative to be picked last in the NFL Draft; rather, it’s an honor to be drafted at all,” Salata said on the Irrelevant Week website. “The last draft pick’s demonstration of perseverance is lesson that resonates not only with NFL players and fans, but also with people everywhere.” (sbnation)

The “winner” gets a week’s vacation in LA, complete with small parade, a banquet, a trip to Disneyland, and other assorted fêtes. They also get a commemorative trophy called the “Lowsman trophy”, a riff on the Heisman.

The number on the jersey comes from what number the last pick of the Draft will be. Due to compensatory picks, it’s not a standard number each year, but is normally in the 250s.

The most famous Mr. Irrelevant is probably Ryan Succop, Mr. Irrelevant 2009

and now a kicker with the Bucs. He was picked by the Chiefs and has been kicking in the league ever since, and this year became the first active-roster Mr. Irrelevant to win a Super Bowl ring when Patrick Mahomes & the Chiefs wilted in front of Tom Brady 31-9.

 

So there’s something to watch for next Saturday.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Montreal vs Calgary – 7:00pm | CityTv / Sportsnet regional
    • Toronto vs Winnipeg – 7:00pm | CBC / Sportsnet regional / NHLN
    • Ottawa vs Vancouver – 10:00pm | CBC / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • LA Lakers vs Dallas – 8:30pm | ABC / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Toronto at Tampa Bay – 6:10pm | Sportsnet1
    • Texas at White Sox – 7:10pm | FS1
  • Futbol:
    • Liga MX:
      • Guadalajara at Atlas – 8:00pm | TUDN
      • Monterrey at U. de N. Leon – 10:30pm | TUDN
  • Australian Rules Football:
    • Collingwood vs. Essendon – 1:00am | TSN2
  • Fisticuffs:
    • Top Rank Boxing:
      • Featherweights: Emanuel Navarrete vs Christopher Diaz – 10:00pm | ESPN / TSN5
    • MMA:
      • UFC 261: Kamaru Usman vs. Jorge Masvidal
        • Prelims – 8:00pm | ESPN2 / TSN5
        • Main card – 10:00pm | ESPN+

It’s the Oscars tomorrow, so don’t drink it all up tonight.

5 1 vote
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
122 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
BeefReeferLives

Nighty night, peeples.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hk85i2KHb0

1
Brick Meathook

For your late night viewing pleasure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5USIHRljCs

1
Gumbygirl

Nighty night! I will leave you with this

18318a216e27eb7c215d313155e605affd204e1a0d466877d5539abf42eb9da2_15.jpg.jpg
2
BeefReeferLives

Either that, or your kitteh was about at 75% loading the new update. Good night!

1
Gumbygirl

I just watched The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao on TCM. Weird flick, haven’t seen it since I was a kid. I am expecting odd dreams tonight, I’m more than a little susceptible to that kind of thing.

1
BeefReeferLives

Playing some warped tunes on Luxuria tonight… https://luxuriamusic.com/

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Had a nice big old steak tonight for the first time in a long while. So good. So sleepy.

3
BeefReeferLives

Fuck yeah. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mALDPwpvblg

Last edited 4 years ago by BeefReeferLives
1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Name checks out

1
Don T

Royal Blood showed up on my 🔀 coupla days ago. No idea of their existence.
Uf
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jhgVu2lsi_k

0
Horatio Cornblower

Ref needs to stop this

0
Horatio Cornblower

Doctor stopped it by jumping on the ring edge. Hell of a fight.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I shit you now, Navarrette just knocked himself down.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Diaz’s corner should strongly consider stopping this. He’s fought a good fight, but 2 knockdowns last round and clearly outclassed right now.

0
Don T

Succop was solid for TEN. He came after Bironas and was automatic within 40 yds. always— until his last Tits season two years ago when he was injured. Succop was meastly twice in freezing KC, notably on the 1/6/18 road Wild Card win.
To the Robs: Bironas and Beerguy
/gulps

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That was quite possibly my favorite football game in the last ten years.

1
Don T

Kenny Vaccaro knocking out Kelce in the 1st half was the hidden play of the game.
Last game of Revis’s career (the culprit of the Mariota pass / catch TD).
Last game of Jeff Tripplette’s career (his forward progress call was hidden play #2).
El Tractorcito missing a tackle that almost got Mariota kilLt.
Yeah, that game was an All Timer.

1
Beerguyrob

Thanks brother.

0
Horatio Cornblower

The Mexican fighter, (Navarette), is well ahead on points, but the Puerto Rican fighter’s (Diaz), strategy of piling up early shots to the balls may pay off in the later rounds.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen a Puerto Rican hit a Mexican this hard since last call at Hot Shots.

(this line is hysterical if you’re watching what is turning into a hell of a fight on ESPN right now, and if you are familiar with horrible dive bar Hot Shots in Willimantic, CT)

1
Don T

Wonderful explanation but Imma post this anyway
comment image

5
Horatio Cornblower

Navarrette, (Mexico, champion) is fighting Diaz, (Puerto Rico, #6 challenger), in what has been a wildly entertaining, (although now lopsided in Navarrette’s favoUr), fight.

Willimantic is the next town over from me, with a large population of Hispanic and Latin folks, many with not much to do since all the mill work left.

Hot Shots is a dive bar with pool tables and a great juke box that tends to serve underemployed people who want to drink way too much to try to forget that they live in Willimantic and that there are no jobs to be had.

a(2)+b(2)=c(2)

/I’ve seen some shit at Hot Shots

2
Don T

comment image

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Sounds like a good place to get stabbed.

0
BugEyedBoo

Some shit you just can’t unsee.

2
Horatio Cornblower

And here I thought that Chris Weidman breaking his leg would be the worst thing I’d see tonight.

5
Don T

Wild Turkey is great company
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K5U0P31F0a0

0
Dunstan

So this may have been endemic to my neck of the Canadian woods, but maybe my fellow Canucks can weigh in here…

When I lived in Canada, it was common to refer to whiskey generally as “rye,” without much regard to what it was made from. I mean, loosely speaking, at the kind of dive bars I frequented, “rye” would get you cheap Canadian whiskey, which at least traditionally had a fair amount of rye. But I’m sure some of those places were serving up cheap bourbon or scotch as “rye” too, and nobody would have cared.

Then I got to the U.S. and had a couple of bartenders (again, at not terribly high-end establishments, plus it was in the 90s before rye whiskey became trendy) look confused when I ordered a “rye and seven” or something.

1
Beerguyrob

If you went outside Crown or Canadian Club you had to be specific.

1
Dunstan

Oh yeah, even Crown was usually a “called shot” at the drinking pits of my well-spent youth.

1
Beerguyrob

Seagrams might have been the only other rye option I can think of from that era.

1
Dunstan

Oh yeah, that was pretty much the standard, now that you mention it.

Seagram’s Seven with Seven Up was a “7 and 7”

1
Beerguyrob

The three standards are a 7&7, Crown & Coke, and a CC & Ginger. Throw in a beer & tomato juice and you’ve done the Prairie 4-step.

2
Dunstan

God forbid you use Clamato juice and make it a Caesar.

Actually, I don’t have a problem with the clam aspect, I’ve just never been into tomato juice. I usually pass on Bloody Marys too.

0
Sharkbait

Country music is a war crime

1
Horatio Cornblower

Pop Country, yes.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Alt Country is tolerable, in my book.

3
BeefReeferLives

Ayup.comment imagev

4
Brick Meathook

Not all of it!

Modern suburban pop-country horseshit is terrible and poorly produced at that.

There’s some really great classic country and western (which was more swing oriented).

Here’s Nashville legend Hank Snow (FUN FACT: He was Canadian)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9yTqFWxHpA

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Tom Petty said of modern country music “Sounds like a bad rock band only with a steel guitar.”

2
Dunstan

There’s about 10-20% of country music I like. Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristofferson, and some Waylon Jennings are great.

There’s some other more modern stuff I like at least in limited doses.

1
BeefReeferLives

+1 red headed stranger

1
Mr. Ayo

Watching baseball.

comment image

9
yeah right

West coast!

1
Horatio Cornblower

Boxing announcer: Typically it’s the shot that you do not see that does the most damage.

JFK: Fuckin’ tell me about it.

8
Horatio Cornblower

Just saw the ESPN crawl saying that English soccer is going to boycott social media because of abuse towards the players, and I’m sure the Super League debacle is mere coincidence.
/dismissive wanking motion until I develop carpal tunnel syndrome

2
TheRevanchist

Put that wanking motion to good use.

1
BugEyedBoo

Be sure to change hands so you can pick up a stroke.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m really digging Shadow and Bone so far. Two episodes in and it’s got some really terrific world-building.

0
Senor Weaselo

Okay, I can confirm Demon Slayer got robbed of an animated nomination. I laughed, I laughed some more, I realized there was too much laughter for Demon Slayer, and then I cried.

0
Horatio Cornblower

/Comes home from friend’s 50th birthday party
//has sampled 10-12 different beers
///opens refrigerator
comment image

“Drink me, Horatio; I want to be with my friends!”

Wife: “Are you talking to the beer in the fridge again?”

Me: (K-chunk sound of can opening) “No. Shut up. You have a problem, how about that!?”

2
Dunstan

I wasn’t planning on drinking much tonight, but I’m just too damn good at mixing drinks. “One cocktail on the patio” has turned to four. Or whatever. Who’s counting.

This is the cross I must bear.

5
BugEyedBoo

To celebrate my upcoming Fathers’ Day/birthday/second childhood, I bought an air rifle. It was $200; no mere bb-gun for me! My plan is to punch holes in paper, maybe a rat if I see one in the yard no farther than 20 yards away. I’d have sprung for a .22 or a Remington 870 for skeet/burglar shooting, but the combination of stinkeye from the wife, stinkeye from the daughter, and stinkeye from the neighbor when a stray round flies through his picture window convinced me that pellets might be the way to go.

I set up a homemade backstop, and fired about 100 rounds today. It’s a break barrel, and if I shot 100 rounds every day I’d end up with arms like Popeye.

1
BugEyedBoo

Been wanting to get a 9mm or .45 1911, because how cool is that? Or an AR-15. Basic Training sucked in the worst way, but shooting the M-16 was fun.

I’ve not convinced that any of these would help me defend myself from the dusky hordes or stave off tyranny. I just like target shooting. I have a compound bow, and I haven’t gone hunting since I shot a chipmunk by accident.

1
Brick Meathook

I have a Remington 870 shotgun. It’s trigger-locked in a padlocked hard case in my padlocked storage cage which is inside a space with two locks on the door. I have 12 gauge and birdshot ammo for it, also stored in padlocked boxes in my locked storage cage. If I ever wanted to commit a crime of passion it would take me 45 minutes to get everything unlocked and loaded and return to the scene and everybody would be gone.

I bought it in 2018 and I’ve never fired the shotgun once. It is still brand new and unfired. Sometimes I take it apart and clean it, though, even though it really doesn’t need it.

Last edited 4 years ago by Brick Meathook
0
BugEyedBoo

We had a company (small company) picnic at a cow-orker’s house, and we shot skeet with his 870. It was a blast. We also shot his SKS – he was one of those black helicopter types, and he had purchased and buried about 20 of those + 10,000 rounds of ammo in his back yard for when the balloon went up. That was back when you could buy an SKS for like $80.

870 has the rep of being your one-stop all-purpose shotgun. Change the barrel and skeet shoot, change it again and hide it behind your headboard for when the bad guys show up. Mossberg 300 is also supposed to be a good alternative. Get the right aftermarket goodies like a pistol grip, laser sights, etc, and your member will actually increase in both length and girth.

As for shit locked up, I have a Savage Model 99, that while it’s not locked up, its ammo is. It’s a weird lever-action with a rotary magazine, that last I saw it, the ammo was $3/round. It’s shit like that that encouraged me to get a pellet rifle – pellets are literally a penny apiece at Walmart, and the sweat to cock that thing is free. The spousal unit would tell me where the ammo was, but where would I shoot that thing? It’s illegal to deer hunt with it in Ohio.

As for cleaning it for fun, just let us know before you decide today is “Bring Your Gun To Work Day.” “He seemed so nice.”

0
Brick Meathook

I never believe self-inflicted gunshot wounds described as “accidentally discharged the weapon while he was cleaning it.”

Bullshit. The motherfucker shot himself. It was either suicide, attempted suicide, or he was playing with the gun like a complete fucking Darwin’s Theory idiot.

1
Mr. Ayo

Oh, snap!

0
Mr. Ayo

Watching the replay was tough, but I can’t imagine seeing that in person.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I didn’t see that, (because fuck you ESPN+, that’s why), but the descriptions of Twitter and interview with Uriah Hall have made it clear that I do not want to see it either.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I have now seen a pirated video, and I have some regrets.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

His expression when he tries to stand on the leg that he apparently doesn’t know is broken…

1
Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Wife and I just finished the new Mortal Kombat – terrific B-movie. Really enjoyed it, and the remade theme is awesome, but they only play it during the credits.

0
Brick Meathook

I’ve always thought Mortal Kombat would be a good date movie

1
Brick Meathook

I just learned that hash is legal in California, and that they sell it at my local pot store! (I thought of hash from a post below). I’ve never liked modern marijuana because it is all hydroponic and tastes like soap. Back in my youth pot was grown outdoors under the eyes of God. But hash might be a different ballgame. They’re selling it for $45/gram and I might give it a whirl. Maybe opium will be legalized next.

Here’s my local pot store in Playa del Rey. That’s the actual “fiberweed” prop van from Cheech & Chong’s Up In Smoke that’s always parked out front.

comment image

Last edited 4 years ago by Brick Meathook
3
ballsofsteelandfury

I honestly don’t know the difference between hash and marijuana. Are they completely different plants with similar effects?

1
Brick Meathook

Hash is concentrated from certain parts of the pot plant, which I just learned from Wikipedia. I haven’t had it since high school (I had the best drug connections back then) but it is definitely a different high.

The word “assassin” is derived from hashish, because way back when Arab hired killers would smoke some hash before they stabbed somebody.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Nice! Thank you!

1
BugEyedBoo

I don’t remember the Chain Rule in calculus, but I do remember reading this in High Times about 40-some-odd years ago. The traditional method of preparing hashish is done literally by hand. The harvesters wander through the fields and rub the leaves vigorously. As they do so, resin and pollen build up on their hands, which is then scraped off.

The hash I’ve personally experienced seemed to be the product of a much more industrial process. It looked like sheets, probably made with stems, seeds, asbestos, and polychlorinated biphenyls.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve had that resin build up on my hands. It’s a huge pain to remove.

0
Don T

First Chain Rule reference in at least 18 years for me!
I love this fucking place.

2
BeefReeferLives

Indeed about the hassasin link. Another fun murder cult were the “Thuggee” (from which the somewhat loaded word “Thug” is derived) in the subcontinent. They would (from what I understand) strangle their victims (as spilling blood was abhorrent to them) with a rope knotted specially so the victim’s carotid would be blocked when the rope was wrapped around their neck.

0
BeefReeferLives

IIRC, hash is basically pollen from the buds that has been mashed\fused together. Keif is the pollen that is loose.

1
BeefReeferLives

Hash & keif are also great to cook with. Melts in with butter or oil very nicely, and doesn’t have the herbaceous flavor that cooking with bud can result in…

Last edited 4 years ago by BeefReeferLives
1
BeefReeferLives

Lastly, a chum of mine got one of these: https://www.amazon.com/kief-box/s?k=kief+box and used a razor blade to gather the kief. He (not being the brightest bulb in the box) decided to snort up a line of kief, which is POLLEN. He said he sneezed for about a half hour straight, and his sinuses weren’t right for a month.

0
litre_cola

45 a gram? Is that their high end stuff because that seems pretty pricey.

Last edited 4 years ago by litre_cola
0
Brick Meathook

I honestly don’t know. I just googled “the average price of hashish” (the internet is the marvel of our times) and it’s all over the place. Maybe it’s California tax added I dunno.

1
Mr. Ayo

It’s 35-65 a gram here, so seems normal.

0
litre_cola

Wow, thats pricey. About 15 to 35 up here and thats in CAD so far cheaper. Booze however is fucking expensive.

Last edited 4 years ago by litre_cola
1
Brick Meathook

This is Hollywood movie star hash. Expect to pay more.

2
Mr. Ayo

Booze here is stupid. There’s the normal 10% sales tax, then a separate 20% liquor tax, then a $3.77 per liter tax.

1
BugEyedBoo

My weed question – the last time I got high was maybe 25 years ago, and that shit wiped me out. My wife and I smoked the whole joint (is that what the cool kids are calling it these days?), and I was fucking wrecked. As is, unable to maintain, convinced cops were going to kick the door in any minute. Assume they finally make it legal here in Ohio, or I drive up to Michigan to get some, is it all like that now? As in, “Don’t smoke the whole thing, idiot!”

Last edited 4 years ago by BugEyedBoo
1
Don T

The stuff out now is strong AF. If you got the “perses” then from weed, get summin at 15% THC or less.
Me? No perses. If I got anxious about cops, I kept smoking till it went away.
comment image

3
BeefReeferLives

Indeed. If you want to smoke, I suggest buying a glass bat and taking a hit at a time.

1
Beerguyrob

It’s just like baking – eat the good chocolate, and use the bad stuff to make brownies.

Or so I’ve been told – I’m allergic to cocoa.

1
blaxabbath

We need to bring out the weed products to the next non-Zoom DFO-Con.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mini spring cleaning today….it sucked and i barely did any of the work.

2
herodotus450

Local professional hockey team getting outshot 41-6 after two periods, that’s bad. They are leading in goals 1-0 though, that’s good.

0
litre_cola

Buzz from the entrance. Strange. Let the delivery guy in. Apparently my wife ordered me a half case of wine for my upcoming bday. Someone definitely helped her out because theres some kickass shit in there. Spending money on wine because we can’t go out for dinner due to no dine in Rona policy

7
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

comment image

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Since I started paying attention to the Dodgers, they have gone 1-4. I should probably leave them be.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The same is true for the Essendon Bombers, who I have been following all season!

1
Gumbygirl

At least they aren’t mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, like the fucking Pirates probably already are!

1
BeefReeferLives

Ghaaaa. Give it time. Fucking Nutting….

1
TheRevanchist

You should completely keep rooting for the Dodgers. Also root for the Padres, Rockies, and D-bags. It’s best for everyone.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Last edited 4 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
2
Gumbygirl

Didn’t we see this one on a tattoo recently?

2
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

1
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

1
Brick Meathook

Lyndon Johnson Photography?

That guy could do everything.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

I think I’ve discovered my new fetish:
comment image

1
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

1
Brick Meathook

comment image

2
Brick Meathook

comment image

5
ballsofsteelandfury

You’re doing great!

0
Brick Meathook

In order to help celebrate diversity and indigenous people everywhere, here’s a landing gear test on an Airbus A330:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTbWhtvc4rs

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Being tuckered out from lifting weights is SO much better than being hungover.

In other news, I may start watching Shadow and Bone tonight.

2
ArmedandHammered

Watched the trailer for that earlier, added to list.

0
litre_cola

I got the hangover covered thank you, and it has not been enjoyable at all. Maybe some white wine will get me out of this? Or it could just lead to more mourning power drinking.

0
Gumbygirl

Didn’t you say you have hash? I would stick to that, less chance of overdoing it and feeling even shittier.

0
litre_cola

I do have hash. I am on dad duty for another couple hours, hash makes me melt and snooze. Will be doing that as soon as wee man goes to bed.

3
Gumbygirl

Get your pocketwatch, slowly swing it in front of him. “Decilitre, you are getting verrry sleeeepy…”

1
litre_cola

Busy educating him by watching True Lies. When the JLC dancing scene comes up he will really learn.

2
BeefReeferLives

Welp, at 5 minutes in, the Sounders are already down by a goal. High time to start drinkin’. Think I’ll start the festivities with one of these:comment image

Last edited 4 years ago by BeefReeferLives
3
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a cool ass design.

1
BeefReeferLives

Agreed. Pretty tasty suds as well. Been on a bit of a lager kick lately…

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good for him. Sometimes, being a Succop pays off.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

S-U-C-C-O-P sounds like something one child would make another child spell out loud to sound silly.

3
BeefReeferLives

Your comment made the phrase “Say ‘Mother may I’ and then spell cup” said in a kids voice come echoing out of the deepest recesses of my mindhole…

Last edited 4 years ago by BeefReeferLives
3
122
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x