Monday Morning Mock Draft: Chapter the 12th, Give or Take

One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday. Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated into arguments with strangers over who would be the best Saturday cartoon character to have sex with, (and now we all know how that would go), or some other equally inane topic, all of which were still more important than that TPS report deadline your boss was yelling about. Good times.

Well, it’s been long enough. After a discussion in the back channels yours truly is bringing it back, with some slight rule changes. The old site had 4-5 main contributors, one of whom may not have been real. So they’d do 2-3 rounds themselves, then kick it to the kommentariat to draft whatever was left over. You can do that when you’ve only taken 10-15 of whatever topic was up for drafting. We, however, are a much more connected group when it comes to the writin’ and draftin’ of things, so if we did that we’d easily take out 30-50 before we threw the bedraggled leftovers to our beloved readership. That’s no fun. So these drafts, which I expect to last as long as I remember to do them, (2-3 weeks), will just leap right into it.

Also, for content and alliteration reasons, we’ve moved the draft to Monday mornings, so get ready to kill your productivity right from the start.

First come, first served, subject to my randomly assigning the first pick to someone else, generally because they came up with the idea. Or because they bribed me. For now, please wait 10 picks or 30 minutes before making another one. That will be revised up or down depending on how much participation we get, which I hope will be a lot.

This week’s draft comes from me being rushed for time, having spent the day juggling some knee bursitis with the need to consume several beers. Hence, this week’s topic: Beer. Draft your favorites.

Rules:

It has to be, or have been, a beer. You can draft beers that are no longer in production, so long as you have either consumed the beer or are willing to lie about having consumed the beer. Since I put all of three minutes thought into this, I defer the first pick. Let your conscience, and your liver, be your guides and

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh and apparently this didn’t go through but it was from earlier so I’m counting it as from more than thirty minutes ago

Alright, way too long to go without a Monkish, so here’s probably my favorite I’ve had from there (Bring it back!), Will Feral Daze. The nose alone makes me salivate, and it’s soft, juicy, and delicious.

No idea whose Instagram this is but the can art is sublime.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6TNfZbpxNl/?utm_medium=copy_link

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How is this draft over? I refuse to accept that and select New Glarus Spotted Cow

Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Squeezing my fourth pick in before Horatio cleans them out of stock:

Treehouse Haze
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yeah right

An ice cold Red Stripe while sitting on the beach in Jamaica and getting some sun on inappropriate places.

Yah mon.

SonOfSpam

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SonOfSpam

Ommegang did a series of Game of Thrones inspired beers a few years back; the Iron Throne Golden Ale was very drinkable. Plus, Dinklage is cool.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I see you all are leaving Dok, Horatio, and me to look like beer snobs. I’m ok with that.

Been a half hour since my last pick and Yeahright took its older and less sought after brother, for my third pick, I’ll take Russian River Pliny the Younger. I had the privilege of drinking this rarity in Boulder at a release party in 2018, and the sense of community alone made it worth it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Catching up, pick two is Avery Certatio Equestris, because a bourbon barrel aged mint sour is way better than it sounds
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Last edited 3 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

Steal of the draft.

The Maestro

The Ontario government is a pile of fucks. Just the worst quadruple Venn diagram of lazy, evil, incompetent and corrupt assholes this side of the border. Health care, education, and seniors’ homes remain in shambles, and developers get prime land for pennies on the dollar… everything sucks donkey dicks, but hey, if you’re going to fuck everyone of my generation for the next decade, at least there’s dollar beer to be had at the Beer Store, finally?

It’s all about the little things in life.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

First beer (since Horatio took Green) is Duchesse de Bourgogne
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Last edited 3 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
ballsofsteelandfury

Draft category idea: obscure cheap beers you drank when you were underaged. We referred to this one by its proper name: Burgie
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And Bugie Light!

/I love how the exclamation point is part of the name.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It seems like everyone already drank too much and passed out, so I’ll go ahead with my next pick: Olympia. When I was at band camp I mean college once a year we’d buy a bunch of cheap shitty beer and use the boxes and empty cans to make helmets. Olympia impressed us enough that we started buying it just to drink. “It’s the Water!”
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh BTW they were acquired in 1999 and the brewery was closed in 2003.

Beerguyrob

The brewery was a regular stop on my summer road trips.

Gumbygirl

Drank a bunch of that when we lived in Washington. And Ranier.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t really see the point of drafting a beer I could just go out and buy, so instead I’m going to focus on beers that I <i>can’t</i> go out and buy. Let’s start with Heineken Tarwebok, which came out when I was in college and disappeared (from the US at least) in fairly short order.
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SonOfSpam

Had too many of these last night; Stone Buenaveza Salt and Lime Lager. Very refreshing and the lime is pretty subtle.
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Gumbygirl

A wee pint of heavy. Tennent’s or Mc Ewan’s usually. In Scotland.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m assuming you’re going with the Scotch Ale, right?
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Gumbygirl

Yessir. The good stuff.

litre_cola

Easy Goodell.

Gumbygirl

I don’t drink much any more, because Gumby can’t. My brother just retired from Latrobe Brewing after 40 + years, and even though they don’t make it anymore (booo) a cold Rolling Rock on a hot day was le tits!

litre_cola

First time I saw a beer dispensing machine was in Barca.
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The Maestro

My dad was an Estrella man for a number of years before we finally got a good local craft scene up and running here. A fine choice.

ballsofsteelandfury

With my third pick, I’ll take this beer but ONLY IN THE PROPER DRINKING PROCEDURE. Any other way of drinking it makes this pick null and void.
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Procedure:
You take a shitload of limes and cut them up.
Take them and a salt shaker with you to the back yard.
Clean the top of the can.
Open can.
Squeeze juice onto top of can.
Sprinkle salt over juice.
Drink.
Repeat.

Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dammit

yeah right

Fosters Lager. The oil cans are fun and all but get a 12 pack of bottles and ice those fuckers down on a hot summer day.

Beerguyrob

Right at the brewery, nothing tastes better.
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yeah right

Drank a few Coors “Banquet”s in the stands at Coors Field and there’s a rightness to that.

Dunstan

Tastes pretty good after being transported from Texarkana to Atlanta in less than 28 hours.

The Maestro

If I’m going to be drinking copious amounts of a single beer in an evening, and I don’t care about putting on a pretense:

In the words of my college roommate: “Cold as a mountain stream, and smooth as its name…

…Busch.”
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Viva La Tabula Raza

“If you like her mountains, you’ll love her Busch!”

Warthog

In high school it was old drill. A case and a bag of ice for 8 bucks.comment image

In college, I moved up to Busch. I felt fancy.

ballsofsteelandfury

This was my preferred beer of choice back in my underage drinking days BECAUSE I’M CLASSY LIKE THAT!

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yeah right

You get the occasional crap shoot with the clear bottles but an ice cold schooner on tap is goddamn delicious. Excellent food beer as well.

litre_cola

In the latest Litre & Balls battle with the postal systems my package which UPS deemed damaged and who decided to send it back to LA without my knowledge has arrived. 0 fucking damage. A bottle of Tamrind vodka, 4 tasters of random stuff, no leaks, no mess, nothing. If Balls and I hadn’t said deliver it anyway it would be back in LA for NO FUCKING REASON.

Thank you Balls, it is awesome.

Game Time Decision

Still better than a trip around the world before it gets delivered.

ballsofsteelandfury

SWEET!!

Warthog

Nothing fancy. But back before good beer was a widely available thing, I could always find Guiness on tap and it’s always treated me well, even when I went a pint or five over the limit.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Solid choice. Would have been my next pick.

Game Time Decision

Brock Street’s Peppermint Stout
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yeah right

Mayberry IPA, El Segundo Brewing Company.

King Hippo

Going local for the 2nd pick, and it’s heaven on draft:
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ballsofsteelandfury

With my first pick, I select

Negra Modelo
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Brick Meathook

The best of the best:

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yeah right

Pliny the Elder, Russian River Brewing.

Brick Meathook

On a hot and humid summer day, after you’ve been doing hard physical work outdoors in the blazing sun, a single 12 ounce Budweiser in a can is the greatest beer drinking experience on the planet. After that first one move on to something else.

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Doktor Zymm

It’s been half an hour and my flight is about to board, so grabbing a second pick. I doubt I will be stealing from anyone 🙂
https://www.globalbeer.com/beers/monks-cafe-flemish-sour-ale/

King Hippo

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or, as me ex-wife called it, your disgusting-assed Robitussin beer

Doktor Zymm

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Been a while since I’ve had this, but I have a long and pleasant history with this beer

Last edited 3 years ago by Doktor Zymm