So I guess we better do this. Anyway, for those of you keeping score at home, here’s what we got so far.

And as we last left off, the final poll didn’t work. And to be honest? I have no idea why, but then again everything didn’t work so maybe it had something to do with that.

Anyway the moment you’ve been trying to keep track of if you didn’t already know: who said what?

1. “Josh Allen just went on Wheel of Fish and took What’s in the Box.” (OSZ)

2. “These Ravens fans are so quiet you can hear a gunshot right now.” (Spur)

3. “Wilson hasn’t felt this much pressure to score since his wedding night.” (Gatoraids)

4. “It’s a bright, shiny Pats-less world and I feel fine.” (Scotchy)

5. “I’m shocked Kobe Bryant has passed away, strictly because that would be the first time he has passed.” (Senor)

6. “What do Kobe and democracy have in common? They both died this past week.” (Scotchy)

7. “The last time I saw someone get this excited about a baby nut, the FBI came and threw him into a van.” (Maestro)

8. “THIS OSCARS, I CALL IT ‘LEGALIZATION’ BECAUSE IT’S A VICTORY FOR BONGS EVERYWHERE” (Reverend)

9. “Working in a grocery store the week when Shastas were on the sale has been and always be my [V]ietnam” (BaldingSpiritually)

10. “If you try to stop it, Marty McSorley appears from out of nowhere and cross-checks you” (Spam)

11. “An XFL stadium employee tested positive for coronavirus, so Vince McMahon can finally celebrate the XFL going viral.” (Horatio)

12. “Everything I voted for is losing. Sometimes I hate being reminded I’m a Democrat.” (BFC)

13. “March was the first school-shooting-free month since 2002. DO BETTER, APRIL.” (Spam)

14. “Rumors are that NFL is considering playing the 2020 season in empty stadiums with no fans. They have asked the Bengals for advice.” (Redshirt)

15. “Florida Warden: ‘Hey, you! Get the hell out of this park! You’re not supposed to be here!’ Brady: ‘Don’t You Know Who I Am?!’ Florida Warden: ‘No, not really.’ Brady: [sighs, feels deflated]” (Scotchy)

16. “Jesus just popped a bottle [of] champagne to celebrate that he still has the only undefeated life in history.” (Reverend)

17. “Should have been Roger Goodell.” (Blax)

18. “I knew we should have amended the DFO bylaws to forbid leaving the site via death.” (Herodotus)

19. “The protests have reached Cleveland but with the current condition of the city it’ll be social unrest’s first ever beautification riot.” (Redshirt)

20. “The White House serves Luftwaffle fries.” (Spam)

21. “Joe Biden is so senile he thought his Aunt Jemima bottle was a trophy from the NAACP.” (Buddy)

22. “Most productive Pole since Chopin. Or the one in the Vegas Spearmint Rhino.” (Spam)

23. “Australia is Willy Wonka’s Factory as an entire continent.” (WCS)

24. “Peter King talking about accountability is like the pot calling the kettle Favre.” (Scotchy)

25. “Relax fucker; we are just trying to figure out if Billy Idol eat[s] Thin Mints.” (Moose)

26. “Atalanta Falacons.” (Spam)

27. “The Stanley Cup is continuing its 53-year boycott of Toronto, if that’s what you mean.” (Dunstan)

28. “Houston’s only deep threat now is the next storm surge.” (Gatoraids)

29. “The Lions replacing their fans with cardboard cutout has nothing to do with COVID-19 though. It’s suicide-prevention month.” (Hippofant)

30. “Huh. I thought OBJ was the Receiver of Wreck. History!” (Don T)

31. “Think Dallas has to change their name to Houston after getting scored on this much.” (Mr. Ayo)

32. “I’ve seen better tackling at Brad Parscale’s Florida residence.” (Clint greasewood)

33. “Gumby told me a joke about a dwarf rap[p]elling down the wall of a prison. I didn’t laugh, because it was a little condescending.” (Gumbygirl)

34. “I’m sorry, did someone get addicted to getting every call and break for 20 years?” (WCS)

35. “Brady’s big mistake was asking Jason Pierre-Paul what down it was.” (Beerguyrob)

36. “THIS DREW BREES, I CALL HIM KATRINA BECAUSE HE’S SINGLE HANDEDLY RUINING NEW ORLEANS” (JJFozz)

37. “Door Flies Open: Come for the camaraderie. Stay for the logistical discussions on teabagging!” (Redshirt)

38. “Rudy will be asking the Supreme Court to overturn the results of his COVID test.” (Dunstan)

39. “No wonder you don’t hear about Falcons players getting COVID, they can’t seem to catch anything.” (ArmedandHammered)

40. “Gotta think Michigan is tanking for Trevor Lawrence.” (Rockindog)

41. “Washington is gonna have to remove ‘Football’ from their name next.” (Herodotus)

42. “THIS WASHINGTON TEAM, I CALL THEM FOIA DOCUMENTS BECAUSE THEY WERE AT LEAST MORE INTERESTING WHEN THEY WERE REDACTED!” (LemonJello)

43. “I think I heard that at the end of his rookie year, Lamar Jackson bought his O-line [R]olex watches. Joe Burrow should get his O-line IED’s.” (JustStopDude)

44. “Thoughts and prayers for COVID-19 as it has tested positive for Stephen Miller.” (Senor)

45. “I’m getting more COVID information from Fantasy Football morning shows than the Trump Administration.” (Clint greasewood)

46. “Two in the thoughts, one in the prayers.” (Zymm)

47. “Like always, Tits didn’t pay attention to the fat guy.” (BFC)

48. “They warned me that if Biden was elected, Tennessee would be overrun by The Browns, and they were right!” (Dunstan)

49. “NFL knows exactly what it[‘]s doing by telling the Donks tough shit on not having a QB. We’re all going to watch this game now.” (Spur)

50. “The South Park cutouts deserve a refund for this game.” (Gatoraids)

51. “Haha, the interesting thing is now every commenter has hobo blood lust and will have to fulfill it on their own.” (Mr. Ayo)

52. “‘Ben trying to slam it in there.’ Is he watching the game or reading a deposition?” (Sharkbait)

As the two finalists, and as a result of the fuckery, will the owners of the white sedan relevant quotes (Beerguyrob and Zymm) hit me up at some point so I can send them some form of hot sauce (to taste, of course, not trying to kill you all). I’d say “and alcohol” but I’ll be real, I haven’t had a chance to drink all year, so I haven’t even thought of alcohol. My fantasy football freezer vodka remains in the aforementioned freezer. But I’ll think of another trinket or two.

Oh yeah, so let’s try this one last time. If it works, great. If not, fuck it, you’re both winners at this point.

Once again, your 2021 Banner Championship:
35. “Brady’s big mistake was asking Jason Pierre-Paul what down it was.”
vs.
46. “Two in the thoughts, one in the prayers.”

The polls don’t work, so, I don’t know, post your winner below and I’ll do a tally or something below, winner gets even more respect and admiration. I should start thinking